Bait Your Cheating Spouse

Another way to catch your spouse cheating is by baiting them into an affair. How does this work? We will do this on the internet, because a lot of cheaters start their affairs on the internet before actually meeting up, it's the world we live in now; even affairs are digital.

First you have to know which social site your spouse spends their time in, a social site is something like facebook, myspace, orkut, etc. Another way is by finding out which chatrooms they go to, or webcam chats, such as stickam, omegle, or chat roulette. The last 2, omegle or chat roulette, are more difficult to work with because it is random, so you can't bait your spouse unless you happen to meet each other, which is highly unlikely.

Once you know which social site they frequent, join that site and create a fake profile to bait your spouse with. Who better than you to create someone your spouse will be attracted to. Make sure not to overdo it though, don't use celebrity pictures, or pictures of famous people as your profile pic. Set your status as single, looking for *sex of your spouse*, then find them on their social site.

When you find them, send them a personal message, throw them a compliment (feed their ego) and tell them you are looking to make new friends and magically you are in a nearby area. If they are on chatrooms, join that chat room and start a conversation, ask to trade pictures then throw them a compliment or two and say you want to trade emails. This is one of the reasons this method works best, you can uncover their secret emails.

If your spouse is cheating on you, then you can expect a positive response to this. Start talking to them on a regular basis, ask them about their life and what they enjoy doing. Notice if they mention anything related to their family or spouse; if they do mention their family or spouse, ask them about their spouse (you). Try to start an emotional affair with your spouse and take it as far as you can go until they are actually willing to meetup with you.

Keep prodding about their spouse(you) and ask them if it's okay that you are talking with them, say things like "won't your spouse get mad that we talk alot?", "will your spouse get jealous if you tell him/her about me?", see how they react. A cheater will always keep it secret and respond with "she doesn't need to know" or "it's okay, no one's going to tell". you should take that as a hint to move on and slowly steer the conversations into something a little more sexual. This is when you will know that your spouse is a cheater.

Try and bait them into telling you about their cheating stories by making up your own story. If they are really cheating on you, they will have a lot to share, just make sure you don't make it sound like you regret it; make it seem like you loved cheating on your wife or husband, and imply that you are looking to do it again. This will cause the cheater to be interested in you even more.

Here's the turning point, you can either continue on with baiting stories out of them to collect evidence of infidelity, OR you can take it a step further by involving a friend. If you have a willing friend, it's best to start this whole baiting process with them, so they know the whole story of your fake persona. When it gets far enough that you are in an emotional affair with your spouse, ask them if they would be willing to have a phone conversation with you.

Now this is why we love this method best, it's a FREE way to catch your spouse cheating, you get your spouse to confess their cheating stories to you, AND if you're really lucky, like the secret emails you will have found out about their secret cell phones. A lot of people discover secret cell phones of their spouses this way.

Make your friend talk to them on the phone or cell phone a few times until they get comfortable enough that they initiate the sexual talk. If this is not proof enough that your husband or wife is cheating, ask your friend to request a meet up in a nearby hotel.

If they agree, go to that hotel yourself and do your confrontation there. This is also helpful if you have kids at home, they shouldn't be seeing their parents fight about an affair.

Infidelity, What Does It Mean To You?

Merriam-Webster.com defines infidelity as :

a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty 
b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it

Now, from the recent flames we've received in the comments section (not posted of course), people keep trying to justify their actions as "just for fun" and call us "you're a ****** psychotic paranoid ****".

The classic definition of infidelity is when a man or woman cheats on their spouse, and has a physical affair with them. To most of these flamers commenting, the infidelity meaning they are trying to project is just this "if I didn't touch another person, it's not cheating" well, in my opinion, and the majority of loyal spouses' opinions, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

If there were any sort of reliable infidelity statistic, I would bet you everything I owned that most people would declare emotional affairs as infidelity. Internet affairs, sexting affairs, and other non-physical affairs as infidelity as well. A maritalaffair need not require physical intimacy. Just as merriam-webster dictionary defines it, "unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty" or "marital unfaithfulness", in no part was there any mention of physical intimacy.

My definition of infidelity is when a married person betrays the trust given to them by their spouse, or has deep emotional intimacy with someone else surpassing the level of intimacy they have with their spouse. It's simple, if you are hiding an intimate relationship with someone else from your spouse, whatever that reason may be, it's infidelity.

"Intimate relationship" means something you wouldn't do or talk about with someone who is "just a friend". You know you are having an affair with someone emotionally if you are telling them things you would normally only tell your spouse. When you start seeing this new person as your "problem solver" or "go to guy", or whenever you think about them all you can think is how much better they are than your spouse. If they reciprocate your intimacy, you are having an affair. It does not matter if this person is your neighbor, or some girl you met online from halfway around the world, it's still an emotional affair.

When you try and pass of sexting as "just for fun", it is a huge slap in the face to your spouse and your marriage. Sexting IS cheating no matter what angle you look at it from. As long as it's an intimate connection to another human being that is not your spouse, it's cheating. Same goes for webcam chats, "cheat forums" or other groups that promote adultery.

This may come as a shock to most people, but the people who are consistently posting rude comments based on our articles pertaining to emotional affairs and "non physical cheating" are mostly female. How do I know they're females? Because they keep complaining about their husbands who have physically cheated on them. Surviving infidelity is tough, I know I lost my first husband too (highschool sweetheart), but the way you should react is to move on with your life and GET A DIVORCE. Do you really think staying with your husband and CHEATING on them to even the score will make any significance in your relationship? The childish notion of "he did it first" will just be a huge time waster for both of you. Instead of moving forward and building new, meaningful relationships, you choose to skew the definition of infidelity and "give them a taste of their own medicine".

In the article "Do Men Cheat More Than Women" we discussed the issue of female affairs being equal to their male counterparts. And I guess most people who read this blog are women (because of the URL and our earlier articles I'm assuming), and think that we are completely biased towards them. Guess what ladies, I actually met my husband through an infedelity support group, and yes his ex-wife had an emotional affair that turned physical and eventually ruined their marriage. I really wish there was a reliable infidelity statistic so all these women who have been cheated on and decide to "cheat back" would stop playing the victim role all the time.

The truth is most female affairs are the ones that are "non physical". Female affairs are very emotional, and usually start from texting, and internet chat rooms. Just google "infidelity statistics" or "female emotional affair statistics" and do your own research, although there aren't much statistics available you will see a lot of the same things but from the men's point of view. Women ARE better at having affairs because most female affairs are purely emotional (more talking over the phone, or internet etc) vs men, who are more on the physical affairs.

What is worse, physical or emotional affairs? That is subjective, but to me they are the same thing, infidelity. What is the meaning of infidelity to you?

Should You Spy On A Cheating Spouse?

Should you spy on your spouse if you suspect cheating?

Some people have a difficult time even thinking of spying on their husband or wife. Is it wrong to spy or attempt to spy on them? I think it's subjective. If you have noticed your spouse is showing the common cheating signs, then yes, go right ahead. Your spouse being secretive and acting like they are hiding something important from you definitely gives you right to snoop on them. If they aren't displaying cheating signs, then there would be no point in spying on them, is there? Also I am a strong believer in no secrets between married couples. If you and your spouse agree with that, then it's very obvious something is wrong when they start keeping information from you.

People keep emailing the same things, "I want to spy on my boyfriend, how do I do X". I hope you fully explore the blog before heading straight to the contact page or comment form. I listed all the relevant information on the sidebar. Please also do your own research on state laws regarding spying on cheating husbands/wives and cheating spouse spyware(that is listed here). I will not give you legal advice, I am not a lawyer. All I know is if you own something, you can freely attach a GPS car tracker to it, or a cell phone spy. I don't think there's a law against protecting your own property. I do not wish to be responsible for people installing spyware on their neighbors cars, or co-workers' cellphones so please do your own research or look at the privacy policies at the corresponding sites that I link out to before buying any type of device or software that monitors anything.

If you just need reassurance that you're not an evil person for trying to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it to make sure your relationship is not in danger, or is it for selfish, baseless jealousy?

Besides the ways to spy on a spouse already described in this blog (check the sidebar), here are a few more ways to "spy" on a spouse that does not involve gadgets or private eyes. It's not really spying in the sense that we are monitoring their conversations, spying in the sense that we are keeping ourselves informed.

Free Ways To Spy On A Spouse

1. If you and your spouse leave the house together for work, be the one to fix the bed. Fold your sheets in a different way that you're used to, so if they come back home and mess around in the bed, you'll know it. Not necessarily going to tell you that they were with someone, but it will be an effective way of "spying", because you can bait them to check if they were home. You can also leave small things on the bed, couches or tables that you can look for when you get back home.

2. Get a friend your spouse has never seen, or does not know they are your friend, and ask them to hit on or flirt with your spouse. This is extremely effective if you have a willing friend. Ask them to take it as far as your spouse seems willing to go. Basically, ask them to try and have an affair with your spouse. You can then bait your spouse with questions like "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "Did you talk to anyone?", and you can be guaranteed that they won't be able to lie their way out of this one. Related article for you is "Bait Your Cheating Spouse"

3.The passenger car seat is another effective tool we can use. If you want to spy on your husband, set the passenger car seat all the way to the back, so if a woman rides in the passenger side they will have to adjust it a little. Do the opposite if you want to spy on your wife. Simple, not very effective since it's so easy to make an excuse for it, but if the car seat keeps adjusting, they won't be able to keep using the same excuse. Won't be effective at all if your spouse car pools with other people.

4. Like what I recommend on the cheating spouse guide, start a blog (it's free) and keep daily, weekly, and monthly records of your spouse's mileage. If you don't have spare cash for a GPS car tracker, this should be good enough. Of course they can make excuses, but if the amount of miles spikes up real high, you will be informed. Not a very good replacement to using a GPS car tracker, but better than baseless accusations.

5. Do the exact same thing for their monthly spending. Record the data and try and ask your spouse what they spent their money on. Most likely gas and food, so you can compute the costs and eventually notice anomalies in their monthly budget. Look for the typical gifts you buy for someone when dating, flowers, chocolates, or clothing (that's for the opposite sex of your spouse).

6. Email your spouse using an anonymous email address and try and bait them into an intimate conversation. Try and see how they react to your flirting. If your spouse spend a lot of time in forums or chatrooms, chances are they will reply to your anonymous emails.

7. Similar to the above, but use this against spouse's that spend most of their free time on facebook, social sites, or even worse dating sites. I don't know why you need to spy on your spouse if they are spending time on DATING sites. Immediately confront them about it. Dating sites are not something you should spend time on if you are married or are in a serious relationship. What better person than you to create a fake profile to flirt with your spouse, you will know all their weaknesses.

Note : Most paid dating or adult sites will try to mask their websites, to protect your spouse's privacy, but you can google the names or sites that you have never seen before and check what they really are. There's no hiding from google.


Remember, before confronting your spouse make sure you have undeniable evidence of what you are accusing. Excuse proof evidence, or don't confront. If they lie their way out of your questions, they will just think harder next time they cheat and leave no clues.

How do I confront my spouse about internet cheating?

Another reader asks about internet affairs/internet cheating. As previously mentioned, internet cheating could be two things, an emotional affair, or another form of pornography when webcams are involved. Either case, they are both wrong, with emotional affairs being more dangerous than the actual "camming".

You confront a spouse having an emotional affair the same way you would a spouse that's having a regular "real" physical affair. You tell your spouse that he or she is cheating on you, and they have to stop their emotional affair. Are you sure they are in an emotional affair or are they just talking a lot? See the linked article on the difference between friendship and emotional affairs.

About the webcam cheating, most spouses justify this as just another type of porn, but really it can turn into relationship breakers when people start wanting to meet each other once they are comfortable online. The key to stopping this is finding a compromise. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them stop their internet affair/inappropriate activities online, and follow through. If both of you find a compromise, problem solved. If your spouse continues to cheat on you online, you may need to have more talks about your relationship and it's future.

Internet cheating or internet affairs usually start from three things. An online chatroom, a cheating spouse forum (yes, there are forums dedicated for just that, cheating on your spouse), and anonymous cam sites (usually ends up in skype exchanges). A lot of people actually make their living helping unsatisfied husbands/houswives by giving them ways to start an affair, specifically sites like ashleymadison.com. Think of plentyoffish.com, but dedicated to men and women who are willing to cheat and are actively seeking cheating partners. If you see this website in your internet browsing history, immediately confront your spouse.

Don't be afraid to put your foot down and tell them that you will end your relationship if they don't stop their emotional/internet affairs. And you really should not put up with being emotionally abused by a cheating spouse. If they don't want to compromise, set an appointment for marriage counseling and get a professional to help you. If your spouse still won't take marriage counseling seriously, they aren't taking you and your relationship seriously. Getting a divorce isn't always something negative, and you may want to consider it if you are living your life in a miserable relationship.

How To Spot An Internet Affair

Here are some signs of a cheating spouse on the internet :

• When your spouse is using the computer or laptop, and you come in the room, they either stop using it, hide their screen, or minimize whatever they were doing.
• After using the computer, your spouse clears the internet browsing history. This should making you wonder why they are hiding what they were doing. I'll post something about how you can check your internet browsing history in another article in case you don't know how. *Update* it's linked below.
• Most people in a long term relationship, or who have been married for a long time, know each other's password. If you've known your spouse's password ever since, but it stopped working when you tried to access their email, or social sites, they may be hiding something.
• You discovered a new email that they never told you about, or a new social site such as a facebook page, even if they already have one.A worse thing, that should probably be met with confrontation, is discovering your spouse joined a dating site.
• Unknown credit card charges start appearing in your bills. Dating sites, or adult sites commonly mask their site names when charging a credit card. They do this to protect the privacy of their members. Ask your spouse about it, then google the exact name you found on the bill to confirm whether or not your spouse is lying.
• Very experienced, and tech savvy cheaters will create a new user account on your computer. They will mostly make their accounts the administrator of the computer, so guest accounts can't check up on their sites or install software keyloggers or any type of spyware to monitor their internet activities. There's usually no solution to this unless you too have access to the administrator account.

Is your husband or wife hiding their internet browsing history? Read this article to learn how to Track your Spouse's Internet Browsing History

If you are miserable in your relationship, I suggest thinking about getting a divorce.

Catching a Cheating Wife Vs Husband

Why would there be a difference between catching a husband cheating, and catching a wife cheating? Mainly because it is more common for the wife to stay at home, and for the husband to work. All methods listed in this site can be used to catch a cheating spouse, or detect an affair, but some methods may be more effective for husbands, and some for wives. You can ignore this article if your wife is not a housewife, and just use the catch a cheating spouse guide.

If you haven't already, you may want to read the page on "signs of a cheating spouse" before continuing. Knowing the signs, and then gathering evidence is what we recommend. Blind accusations will just cause relationship stress (plus make your spouse a better cheater).

Here's a breakdown on the current methods we talk about.

Cellphone Spies - This is equally useful for catching both a wife or a husband. Even if in most relationships the husband is the one who goes out to work, everyone in this day and age has a cellphone. Even my mom, who is in her 60s, has a cellphone. So this method is on the top of the list because it works well for both husbands and wives, is cheap, and available world wide. The only downside to this is if your spouse is not using a personal cellphone, and is provided one by the company they work for. This takes the top spot for catching a cheating spouse, it's like a keylogger for your cellphone bundled up with GPS cellphone tracking.

Keyloggers - This method won't work as much for people who use computers/laptops that are not their own. Work computers for example, are protected by the companies who own them. You most likely are not allowed to install anything, and if you are, it is recorded. Installing any monitoring device on anything you do not own is illegal. So if your husband rarely uses the computer/laptop at home, this won't be as effective as the cellphone spy. If you suspect your wife of cheating on you, and she just stays at home, then this would be a good option to catch her cheating because it is more likely that she uses the computer to talk to other people. This is also as cheap as the cellphone spy, depending on whether or not you opt for the hardware or software version keylogger. Software, be it cellphone spies, or keyloggers, are always cheaper than their hardware counterparts.

Hidden Cameras - Perfect to catch a cheating wife that stays at home and doesn't work out of the house. If you want to know if your spouse gets visits from people while you aren't home, consider using a motion activated hidden camera, so you can set it and forget it for a few days. It only activates when it detects movement, so that saves you a lot of hard drive space. Not as effective for cheating husbands unless he uses your car, and you can find a portable camera to install there. Portable surveillance equipment costs more than regular "plug in" camera equipment. I wouldn't spend more money to get a camera with better resolution. I would recommend the cheapest hidden camera or portable hidden camera you can get, the lower the resolution the better (cause it's cheaper). We aren't looking to make a home movie, we're trying to find out what is happening behind the scenes. Buying multiple lower resolution cameras is better than buying some HD super camera that can zoom in etc.

GPS Car trackers - A lot more useful for cheating spouses that work, or leave the house regularly. These are cheap, you can find some ranging from $30+-$40+, some of the more expensive ones require a monthly subscription though. Not as effective for cheating spouses who do not leave the house. May work for a wife that takes those 5 hour "shopping trips". GPS trackers can be replaced by simply remembering how many miles your spouse drives when they go to work/shop, and checking your mileage. Knowing your spouse's daily routine will save you some cash, but the downside to that is you can't PROVE they are lying. With a GPS tracker, you have solid data to backup your claims. This is also the method which my mother used when my father cheated on her, but it was a cellphone GPS tracker that a service provider had built in. It's original purpose was to help you locate your phone if you lost it, or it got stolen. But I guess it also helped her know that she was being cheated on.

Digital Voice Recorders - Another way that works best against cheating housewives vs spouses that work out of the house. Read the article for some suggested placements of your voice recorders, as well as two product recommendations. I bought two models of the cheaper one so I can monitor more areas vs the other model with more storage. Be sure to get a voice recorder that has voice activated recording features to save on storage and time sifting through hours of silence. One of the better methods, but you'd have to spend a minimum of $30.

Baiting Your Cheating Spouse - The best FREE method of catching your spouse cheating. Is this the same as impersonation? No, not really. Impersonation is when you call up credit card companies, or phone providers and fish for private details such as who owns what phone or what credit card charges were made while pretending to be the person, or their spouse. With this method, you are just going to fish for your spouse's cheating stories by pretending to be someone that is willing to cheat with them. I consider this the best free method of catching a cheating husband or wife because it has a chance of you finding out their secret email addresses or phone numbers. If you are low on cash and can't afford any of the tools mentioned here, there is cost in trying to bait a cheater into confessing to an affair.

Tracking Your Spouse's Internet Activities - This works well with the above method, and it's free as well. Not too effective if your spouse knows how to clear their internet browsing history. But if they don't, you will know what sites they visit, what they search on Google, and if they view porn sites secretly while you're away.

Private Investigators - Hired professionals. No question about it, this is THE best way to know whether or not your spouse is cheating. These guys are professionals, they make their living out of finding out the truth and providing information. Private Eyes will always get the job done, they employ all the methods found on this site, and some of their own. The only reason I recommend them last is because they are EXTREMELY costly compared to keyloggers, cellphone spies, and hidden cameras. If you plan on hiring a private eye, don't be surprised if the bill reaches the 4 digit range.

When I say I think it's the best way to know if she's cheating, I mean that for private investigators who have a good record. Be sure to check out the guide linked above to help you in selecting a private investigator. Don't just hire someone because they are your only option in your area. If they have a horrible record, you'd best do it yourself. And if you've had some experience with private investigators, please consider sharing it on the Private Investigator Reviews page, for the benefit of those people who in the future need help selecting a good P.I. company.

View things from the other side, learn how your husband will cheat on you by reading the "How To Cheat On Your Wife" article. Just to be clear, I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE. This is just to show you some ways that your husband can cheat on you, and how they may avoid detection. It's a spin from the regular article where we talk about how to catch a cheater, it may be more eye opening when "reverse engineered".

Find Phone Number On Map For Free

We added a form to the right at the bottom of this page that accesses a database of phone numbers. You can use this to check if you suspect your spouse is cheating, and calling other men/women. The downside is that it does not work for people outside of the USA. I'll try to link a database for an international reverse phone lookup when I find one.

If you want to track someone's location on google maps, you just simply enter their 10 digit phone number on the form to the right, and it will search the database for that phone number. It's completely free to check the location of a phone number on google maps, but it costs a subscription or a one time fee for 1 search if you request for complete details. Complete details include phone owners full name, address, previous address, and what type of phone it is and who is their service provider. The unnecessary features include background checks and criminal records, which I think is overkill.

These types of databases are sometimes being used by professional private investigators. It helps private investigators in locating addresses to help track your spouse or the people your spouse associates with. So if you are hiring a private investigator, you may want to ask them to do some reverse phone lookups for you, I doubt that would cost extra because private investigator fees are already extremely high. Some even charge $120+ per hour!

Basic overview of Reverse Phone Lookups

1. First thing you should do is check your spouse's phone and your home caller ID for unknown numbers.
2. Input each of those numbers on the form found to the right side of this page.
3. Wait for it to be processed on their database, and you will be served up the map location of the unknown number on your home landline or cell phone.
4. (optional), if you want to view the phone owners full name, exact address, and phone type and service provider, opt for a single search ($15) or if you have a lot of unknown numbers, opt for the 1 year registration ($40). This is just optional, just finding out the phone's location on the map can help clue us in deciding on whether or not our spouses are cheating.

Example of Reverse Phone Lookups

We'll use Google's phone number as an example. I'm sure they won't mind :)
Google's phone number is 650 253 0000. Lets pretend Google is some random person that your spouse may be cheating with.

So you found that number in your cellphone or home phone, and you have no idea who it is. You just enter that number on the form to the right of this post and it will search for the number in the reverse phone lookup database. You can try it yourself, but in case you were wondering, the results look like this (click to enlarge). You can try it also using your own phone number, and see how accurately you are placed on google maps.

If the number is too far away, that it would take a plane ride to get there, then we can rule out physical affairs, but they could be having an emotional affair if their phone conversations happen regularly. If the number is close to your location, then it's a higher chance of a physical affair happening. The reverse phone lookup database contains business phone lines as well, so you can check whether or not it's a work related call.

What you can do is ask your husband or wife who this phone number belongs to, and why is it in our phone bill/their cellphone bill. They can't say they don't know because it's in the bill and it shows how long they have talked, and if they say it's a friend's phone number then you can ask WHO it is.

Most likely if they are cheating on you with that person, they won't give their real names or location. That's when you should consider paying for a full report and matching the name that your husband or wife gives you, to that listed on the reverse phone lookup database. If they don't match, then you know your spouse is lying.

If this isn't enough to give you peace of mind, you may consider reading the cellphone spy overview, to help you pick out a cellphone spy yourself, or this mobile spy guide, if you want an exact recommendation and not a generic overview on types of cellphone spies.

Type A US BASED Phone number to find it on the map

Type a 10 digit phone number and press enter, or click Submit Query to get your results on Google Maps.

Please feel free to share your experiences with infidelity on our cheating spouse stories page.

Begging Forgiveness - Don't Do It

Don't be pathetic. Begging for forgiveness is the same as begging for money. Why would you be given something more valuable than money, people's trust, when you don't deserve it?

If you want to be forgiven for something stupid you've done to your relationship, (cheating, emotional affairs) you should EARN it. Here are some ways to earn back your partners trust.

1. Accept that you made a mistake, and listen to your spouse's demands. Do it even if it doesn't seem reasonable (within limits).

2. VOLUNTEER to go to marriage conseling. This will save up so much trouble and drama. You don't want drama.

3. Never be a know-it-all in this type of situation. Don't pretend you know why this happened and how to avoid it. You don't. You got caught cheating and now you must face the music.

4. "I did it because you didn't do X for me. I had to get X from somewhere else. It's not my fault I" anything that sounds remotely like this is the most pathetic thing a cheating spouse who got caught can do. I'm guessing you've all seen this on an episode or two of Cheaters (the show with Joey Greco).

5. When participating in one of the activities your husband or wife has planned, don't "drag your feet" or be constantly letting her know how horrible the experience is and it's not affecting anything. That won't help and build up even more negativity between both of you.

6. Remember anytime that you both were enjoying your time together, and recreate that moment. Enjoyed a trip together? Go on a trip together. You may even consider booking a couples retreat, specifically ones to help couples suffering from midlife crisis.

7. Don't assume your spouse will forgive you. Some husbands and wives stick to bad relationships for the sheer love of their children.

Keep Cellphone From Being Spied On

We talk alot about mobile spies and cellphone software that can let people read texts messages remotely in this blog. But how do we prevent malicious people from doing it to our mobilephones?

With a cellphone spy that reads simcards, your only option of preventing people from spying on it is not to let them get their hands on your cellphone. Sim card readers basically extract data from simcards, meaning they need to physically insert your simcard into the simcard reader. You can't do anything about it if they get your simcard, they could simply insert it in the card reader and plug it in a PC and they can get your data.

With a cellphone spy SOFTWARE, those that remotely view your inbox/pictures/videos, you will have to password protect your cellphone so no one but you can open your phone. If they do not know your password, they can't install the cellphone spies. You have to make sure your password is difficult to crack, because once someone can access your cellphone, they can spy on it by installing the software. Since these softwares are undetectable, there's not much you can do.

You can also just disable the internet on your cellphone, that way the mobie spies (if there are any) can't connect to the webserver and transmit your data for others to view.

Things that may mean your cellphone is being spied on/tapped :

The battery, even when unused, gets hot/warm.
Unexpected blinking LEDs
Unexpected internet activity (although some are undetectable)
Random noise/beeping when you are in a phone conversation.
LED/Phone light button stays lit or lightly lit even after turning off the phone.

Mobile Phone Spy FAQs

My spouse installed a Mobile Phone Spy on my phone, but I changed phones but still have the same number, can I still get spied on?
No. These mobile phone spies are software based spy tools, meaning if you change your phone, that means you have a brand new system, with nothing installed on it.

Can I install anti spyware to prevent my phone from being spied on?
You could, if they were made to detect these custom mobile phone spies. The custom made cell phone spies (the ones on the sidebar) are currently undetectable. They come with a subscription fee because the software continually evolves to patch over any anti spyware software you install. So you will be part of a continuous cycle of anti spyware patching over cell phone spies, and cell phone spies patching anti spyware. Patching refers to the software updating itself; cell phone spies patch to be undetected, anti spyware patches to detect.

What's the best way to prevent someone from spying on my phone?
Do the methods described above. For sim card readers, keep your cell phone away from people who might spy on them. For software based spies, keep your phone passworded and watch anyone who uses your phone to prevent them from installing anything. Don't let your cell phone out of your sight. Also disable blue tooth so people can't send you anything with viruses (these are different from cell phone spy programs). Anything that requires a download, such as multimedia files, images videos etc can contain malicious files. Don't know the sender? Don't accept the attachments.

What's the best way to avoid viruses?
Besides installing anti virus / anti spyware software, the old saying holds a lot of water. "If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't". Don't fall for freeware on the internet. Free ring tones, free images, free anything.

I'm not saying buy everything, just don't blindly accept or download things from the internet. Google the website you want to receive free stuff for before you download anything from them. Most browsers also have a malicious site detector that will warn you before you enter a website. Firefox has it, so you might want to download the free browser.

Disclaimer :

Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Private Investigators during Valentine's Day

Different security businesses and private investigators say that cheating rate goes up during Valentine's Day. Some even go as far as to thank the cheaters for their increase in sales during valentine's day, because for them, when your spouse cheats on you they make a lot of money from selling their services to help you catch your spouse red handed. Knowing the fact that there are more instances of cheating during valentine's day, you should plan ahead to prevent cheating.

Some things you could do, if you don't know whether or not you have a cheating spouse is look for cheating signs. If you know you have a cheating spouse, set a plan for valentine's day and make sure your spouse will have no excuse to leave or not be with you on that day. If they have already preemptively said that they will be out of town for work, or have other things to do and can't be home, you could take a look at GPS car trackers, or cellphone GPS software to track your car or your cellphone.


Watch what this private investigator has to say about cheaters and private investigators.



A day in the life of a private eye



If you are looking to hire a private eye, please read this guide to help you select a private investigator. Be sure to do your research, if you hire an amateur PI, he or she may get you into legal trouble if they do anything illegal.

If you have had any experience with a private investigator, please use the "private investigator reviews" page and post about it to help others who are looking for a good reliable PI company.

On a lighter note, watch jimmy kimmel make fun of cheaters in this video :

Friendship vs Emotional Affairs

What's the difference between friendship and emotional affairs? Some of you may be a little bit over protective over your spouse's relationship. Having a friend of the opposite sex will not destroy your marriage. How do you know if your wife's friend is actually trying to steal her away? How do you know if your husband's secretary is only working on company matters, and not your husband?

Watch for signs of an emotional affair! You don't need to outright BAN them from having friends of the opposite sex, you just need to watch how your spouse interacts with them. Being jealous without anything that backs up your suspicion is just being irrational and paranoid. Try to think of it rationally, ask yourself if you would do the same to a friend of the opposite sex.

Some of the things that should be considered as "red flags" of an emotional affair are :

1. Your spouse continues conversation with the person even after work. Unneeded interaction may not always be considered a sign of an emotional affair, but it should be monitored especially if your spouse is the one initiating it. If for example your wife is always being texted or called after work times by a workmate, then there are a few options for her. 1 would be to entertain the phone call if it is work related, and then end it when they are done with work. 2. Tell the workmate they can talk about it at work, if it isn't urgent. 3. Reply to text message that are only work related.

This can change if your spouse is friends with this person. It isn't normal for a few minutes of socialization, but if they talk for an hour or so after work, regarding things that are not work related, then this could be a sign of an emotional affair building up.

2. Webcam chats with your spouse. I don't think this is even necessary for work chats online. Unless there's a special case that absolutely needs a webcam, this is definitely a sign of an emotional affair. You can tell whether or not your spouse is hiding something if he/she minimizes the webcam videos when you enter the room.

Chatting from time to time is okay, but do you really need to use the webcam? Take note of what your spouse is wearing too. They may be having more than a chat. If you suspect that they are having some inappropriate chats through cams, you may want to get a simple keylogger that takes screenshots of your computers activity before you confront them. When you confront a spouse they may try to be more secretive and might not even use the computer anymore when you are around.

3. Hiding emails and text messages. Another sign of emotional affairs, or even cheating. When someone texts or emails you and your spouse sees you texting/typing, if she asks what are you doing what do you respond? You're open and honest about it right? That's because it's the normal way of answering someone when you have nothing to hide.

Now if your spouse's reaction to you asking about his or her texts/emails is something defensive and secretive, you may be dealing with an emotional affair or actual infidelity. A spouse with nothing to hide would even allow you to look at their emails or cellphone. It's pretty common that spouse's know each others passwords or allow you to use their cellphones.

4. You catch your spouse confiding in a person of the opposite sex. This is a sensitive subject and would depend on what your husband or wife is confiding. If it's something serious like how your marriage is on the rocks and needs to be saved, is definitely not something you talk about with just a normal friend. Especially not something you would talk about with a friend of the opposite sex. I would consider that they are either in an emotional affair already, or this could be the start of an emotional affair.

Now what would you normally talk about with a friend? Financial problems would be acceptable, Car problems, shopping help (usually husbands ask their wife's friends for help), anything generic that does not involve your spouse's relationship with you. You can be sure they are in an emotional affair if they straight out go to the other person even before you. This can be done over the email, sms, or chatting online.

5. Spending time with someone after work. Another sensitive subject, it's who your wife or husband goes out with after work and what they do. It's an emotional affair if your wife goes out with another man (from work) and they eat dinner together. Once in a while, it may be acceptable and considered friendship, but if it's a regular thing that they eat out together every friday or everyday I would consider that an emotional affair.

I would consider it friendship, and not an emotional affair, IF they eat together with a group of other workmates. That's normal, and friends do that all the time. But if they are just together alone with each other, that's different. Try to get a GPS tracker to monitor your car or cellphone if you can't be sure of this. Even better, if they go out in a group with other workmates, get to know the workmates and befriend someone. You can then find out from that person how they interact with each other within the group.


Some things that is considered leaving the world of emotional affairs and heading straight to real, physical affairs that ruin marriages are :

1. Hand holding. This is what lovers do. Subtle way of letting the people around know you are connected. An emotional affair is usually just sharing intimate details with someone who is not your spouse and confiding in them. Hand holding is physical and should only ever be done with your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

2. Different types of flirting. This is what you first do when you started dating your spouse. Flirting lets the other person know you are very much interested or attracted to them. It's what let you know that your spouse was interested in your, and it's what led to your marriage. If your spouse is now flirting with someone else, then that's a sign of an affair beginning, not just an emotional affair anymore.

3. Favors. A touchy topic, but favors someone would do for your spouse that they wouldn't do to anyone else is a sign that they are beginning a relationship. Things like driving them somewhere. Taking them home. Picking them up. Buying them things. Being extra nice. All make it look like they are dating or she is being courted.

4. Throwing them a party for a special occation. If your spouse has a birthday coming up, and some girl/guy is the one who throws them a party instead of you, WITHOUT trying to contact you so you can arrange the party together, that's them making a move on your spouse. Not only are they wanting to build a relationship with your spouse, they're also undermining you by not including you in the preparation so they can take full credit.

5. Buying them inappropriate clothing. This is self explanatory. No regular "friend" would buy your wife lingerie and ask them to wear it. Some people do this and even ask your spouse if they are wearing it. If your spouse entertains this, there is something going on. If your spouse kept this secret from you and you found out on your own, you can be sure something is going on.

More info on what is an emotional affair. 

Differences between emotional affairs and friendship

Here are some examples of situations on how your spouse would act if they were in a normal situation vs if they were in an emotional affair.

After work, a workmate of the opposite sex asks your spouse to go out for drinks.

In a normal relationship your spouse would call or text you that they will be drinking with that person, and tell you they'll be late. No secrecy, no reason to be afraid to tell you the truth, because it's all innocent. This could happen often, or once in awhile, it doesn't matter because you always know and their story always fits the timeline.

If they are having an emotional affair, your spouse won't tell you they're going out to drink, but probably give you the tired old excuse of "going to work overtime". If you install some sort of spy tool to track your spouse and try to "fish" for information, they will almost always react negatively and feel "insulted" (good liars do this to divert the topic of the conversation).

Your wife, who is a housewife, starts chatting with people online while you are at work.
In a normal relationship, the housewife will tell you about their day, including the chats they've had (with or without men). They won't have any specific guy they talk to, they just happen to talk to guys online. If anything crosses the "friend line" they permanently stop talking to them, and tell you about what happened.

If they are having an emotional affair, you won't even know that your wife chats online while you are gone. Period. Women are better at keeping secrets than men. I'm not saying men don't keep secrets too, but women are just better at it. If you do by chance smell something fishy going on and install a keylogger on your computer, you will notice that all her time chatting is spent with mostly one other guy, and the details of what they are talking about are something that only a wife's husband should know.

Your husband has a friend who is "touchy feely".
In a normal relationship, your husband would immediately put distance between themselves. If his girl friend continues doing so, he may remind her that he is married or set her straight by telling her to watch her boundaries.

If they are having an emotional affair, they won't react and would let his girl friend do as they please. This is a sign that their emotional affair is slowly breaking into the physical barrier. Once they are comfortable emotionally, it only takes a little more time before they start to becoming physically intimate.

Your spouse gets a phone call after work, from a workmate.
In a normal relationship, your spouse would either dismiss the call if it was unimportant or take a few minutes to work on it.

In an emotional affair, your spouse will use this as an excuse to leave the room to get some privacy for their "work" related call. If they've already got a full blown affair going your spouse might even use this as an "emergency" call that warrants a trip back to the office.

Track Spouse's Internet Browsing History

This is a free alternative to catching your spouse using keyloggers, this method is not effective against tech savvy spouses who know how to cover their tracks online.

Steps to tracking your spouse's internet browsing history :

Since there are so many browsers, we will only work with the most popular browser, firefox. This can work for either Windows or Macintosh, and can be freely downloaded.

Step 1 : Check Your Browser

Browser history disabled.

Check whether or not your internet browser allows storing browser history. You can do this by pressing CTRL + H on firefox. This is why it is not very effective against tech savvy cheating spouses because anyone can just go into the settings and disable the internet browsing function. An even sneakier way to avoid detection is by just selecting the sites your spouse doesn't want you to see and manually right clicking and deleting them from the history.

A blank screen (shown in the picture) means that your internet browser currently clears the history, or your spouse deleted it. Note: I forgot to add "and urls" in the picture text, it should be "it means your browser does not store pictures or URLS"

Step 2 : Enabling Internet History Logging

To enable history logging, select the "Tools ---> Options ---> Privacy". See the screenshot for more details.

The first blue box is what you want to check, and the bottom second blue box is what you want to uncheck. Doing this will allow you to check your spouse's internet activities. Cheating spouses usually go to facebook, or access their secret email accounts to talk to the people they are cheating with. You might want to watch out for secret facebook pages as well.

Step 3 : Confirm that your browser is logging the sites you visit

The screenshot below is with my firefox browser recording my internet browsing history. I have blacked out my personal email (you can contact me through catch a cheater admin at gmail if you need to).

As a sample, I typed in "random porn site" just to demonstrate that the browser records EVERYTHING. From searches done on google, to the email addresses used by your spouse that you may not know of. You can confirm that your browser is tracking your internet history by pressing CTRL+H again, or looking at the links you've visited. If you've followed the steps properly, all links you've visited will be a different color (like on our site, unvisited links are blue, visited links turn black).

Red boxes are my email, and a random search I did on google

Blue boxes are the settings that you want to have enabled on your own firefox browser to have it record your spouse on the internet. Great alternative to hardware or software keyloggers if you were thinking of getting one.

I'd like to caution you against downloading any of the "free keyloggers" because of the high risk it poses to your computer, and your bank account. Identity and password theft is common amongst people who download malicious software disguised as free keyloggers.

How To Use This To Catch A Cheating Spouse?

1. You can use this trick to know if your husband or wife has any hidden yahoo, gmail, or hotmail email accounts they are keeping from you. If you know your husband or wife's passwords, then it could probably work on their secret hidden email accounts as well.

2. Find sites in your internet browser history that support cheaters, or promotes cheating on your spouse. These sites are REAL, I am not kidding one bit. If you would like to see a site that makes a living off of spouse's cheating on their spouses, manually type "ashleymadison.com" on your browser. It is very disgusting and disturbing that people actually join that site.

3. Find out if your husband or wife is secretly visiting adult video sites. Not that it's wrong for them to be viewing any adult videos, but if they are hiding it from you this may be a problem. Watching adult videos can and does turn into seeking out "live" versions, and in this day and age there are adult cam sites that they can visit.

4. Look for Omegle, Chatroulette, or Stickam type of sites.These aren't necessarily signs of a cheating spouse, but if they are hiding this from you, you should worry. If you don't know why, these typical random anonymous webcam sites (omegle and chatroulette) are often used for cyber sex, while stickam is not really as bad as the former, it also has a lot of cyber sex in the private rooms.
5. Look for facebook profiles that aren't of your spouse. They could be creating alternate profiles that they use on facebook, myspace, or other social sites to find people to cheat with.

What if my spouse has a secret email or facebook account?

If you luck out and catch your spouse's secret email or social networking site, I suggest you NOT confront them about it. Play dumb, act like everything is fine, and you are clueless. This is the perfect time for you to Bait Your Cheating Spouse

See more ways to track a cheating spouse, read our catch a cheating spouse guide linked on the sidebar.

Cheating Husband - How to cope

How do I deal with infidelity.

You recently found out or have doubts that your husband cheated or is cheating on you. You feel like a piano was dropped on your head the moment you realize your marriage or relationship is about to end or that you are being deceived. You try to convince yourself that this isn't happening, that you're being paranoid, "he would never do this to me," I must be imagining things, etc. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. If you are unsure whether or not you have a cheating husband, please read signs of a cheating husband first.

Infidelity is never easy to deal with, this will take a long time for you to recover from, and this will be a long but fruitful journey to self improvement. You WILL come out a better person, I speak from experience, and you WILL find someone ten times better than your previous cheating husband (if you ever do decide that he is not worth forgiving and sharing your life with). You'll respect yourself more, gain more confidence, and get back your dignity.

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife." -Ann Landers

Everytime you think of your cheating husband having an affair, and lying to you, it makes you sick and angry. But you still love him. You want him to change, you forgive him and hope to save the relationship. If you truly believe that your cheating husband can change, then that is great, I will share everything I know on how to deal with infidelity, how to forgive your unfaithful husband, and attempt to successfully save your relationship. If however you are sure you want to end the relationship, read "what to do when my husband cheats on me" page found in this website.

If you're only trying to save your relationship for the kids' sake, this will be more difficult for you, but you WILL gradually heal and come out a better person. Here is some information on how to cope with a cheating husband:


Let it all out and accept it
Even if you're the type of person who does not want to cry, you should. Crying is healthy, and will help ease your pain and anxiety. You can do this alone, or infront of your cheating husband when you confront him about his secret affair. It would depend on what decision you have arrived at, do you want to end the relationship or do you want to save the relationship. I wouldn't cry infront of my husband if I planned to divorce him, this would give him reason to believe he still has a hold on me and would try to manipulate the situation to favor him. You may think your husband is not capable of manipulating your emotions to get what he wants, you may think that is too much for him and he would never prey on your emotions. But you also thought he would never ever cheat on you, but your husband cheated. I chose to leave my cheating husband, I knew he could never change. It's different for everyone, but this is how it worked out for me and my ex cheating husband.

Your husband may have been lying and cheating on you with several other women for longer than you thought, that is why I suggest to read signs of a cheating husband, and how to catch a cheating husband, so you can gather enough evidence before you take any legal action, if you choose to do so. I know this is hard to read, especially for those that want to save the relationship, but I am just being real and stating the facts.

With that aside, if you do choose to save your relationship, then open up and share every single thing that has been plaguing you. Every tiny detail. Tell him, don't ask, that you're both going to skip work the next day so you can talk it out. Cheating husbands will usually agree if they want to work things out, and they usually won't if they plan on ending the relationship. Ask your husband why he cheated on you, what does he want to happen from this point on, what did you ever do to cause him to cheat and does he still love you. Tell him how he made you feel, and what YOU want to happen from this point on. Come to an understanding on how you will proceed with your relationship, and try stick to it. Agree that no secrets should ever be kept between you two. It's going to take a lot of time, but getting it all out is the first step in healing and gaining back your self esteem. Eventually you will forgive your husband for cheating on you.

Confide in your family and friends
It's always a good to have someone you trust share their thoughts and advice. Even just being with them and venting out your problems will help alot. Don't keep secrets, tell them your husband cheated. Having someone that will listen to your infidelity problem, comfort you, make you feel safe, this is what you need. Go watch a movie with friends, doesn't have to be a sad movie, a comedy or any other movie you want will do, as long as you are with friends or family. Have fun, laugh and smile. You don't need to throw away your life just because your husband cheated on you. He's not worth it, go and enjoy yourself. If you decided to leave your husband, then it will be good to go out on dates. Find someone that deserves you. The sooner that happens, the faster you'll forget about your ex cheating husband.

Be honest with your children
If you have kids be sure not to lie. Tell them the truth, just don't blame their father. If you have to split up, tell them. Don't blame the your cheating husband, that will just cause more problems. Openly tell them that their father has to move on with his own life, but they will still see him in the future. Don't promise them anything unrealistic, just be honest, your kids can help you feel better and support you more than anyone else. This happened to me, when my own father cheated on my mother. My mother wasn't honest though, even if I was old enough to know what was happening. She lived in denial, and included us. It worked for my younger sister, but not with me. I had to pretend I had no father because she didn't even give me a valid reason. All I remember is "He's gone now". I wish she was open with it, I would have been there to talk to her.

Baby steps, take it a day at a time
When you've decided to work on your relationship, don't rush it. Time will ease you back to where you left off. Also, it would be wise to ask your husband to go to a doctor to have him tested for any STDs he may have caught from having cheated on you. Again, don't resort to blaming him, even the skank who he cheated on you with. This is a waste of your breath. Not worth your time. Won't accomplish anything. Will remind you of things that has passed. Tell your husband this if he has the nerve to blame you. This will be the hardest part, slowly building your relationship back. Hopefully this time it will be stronger, and your husband would have learned his lesson and never cheat on you again.

Think of yourself, and your kids
If you decide to leave your husband, after you have enough proof that he has cheated on you, make sure you have it all planned out. Some questions to help you on planning are :

Where will you live?
Will you have enough money to support yourself and your kids?
Will you be able to put them through school?
Will all of you have the necessities in order to live comfortable?
Do you have any family or friends that can stay with your kids while you're at work?

Be sure to answer these important questions first before doing anything drastic.

Stay healthy
Do not let this ruin your life completely. Maintain a proper daily routine. Eat proper healthy meals, exercise regularly, get enough sleep and remember to have fun with your family and friends. Exercise is a natural way to relieve stress and anxiety, it won't just keep you looking good. If you leave your husband, staying healthy also involves dating. Making some new friends is easy now with the internet, you don't have to physically meet someone or anything. Just make new friends, chat online, have fun, flirt, anything you can do to help destress you, do it! Just stay away from vices such as drugs, and alcohol. Those will just make your life worse, and your children unhappy.


You might also want to read my article on emotional affairs or read about an online e-course dedicated to saving your marriage.

Please feel free to share your experiences or read other people's experiences with infidelity at the Cheating Spouse Stories page. If you would like to contact me directly, use the contact page on the sidebar, or just leave a comment with your email. (I won't publish any comment with personal identifiable information)