Should You Spy On A Cheating Spouse?

Should you spy on your spouse if you suspect cheating?

Some people have a difficult time even thinking of spying on their husband or wife. Is it wrong to spy or attempt to spy on them? I think it's subjective. If you have noticed your spouse is showing the common cheating signs, then yes, go right ahead. Your spouse being secretive and acting like they are hiding something important from you definitely gives you right to snoop on them. If they aren't displaying cheating signs, then there would be no point in spying on them, is there? Also I am a strong believer in no secrets between married couples. If you and your spouse agree with that, then it's very obvious something is wrong when they start keeping information from you.

People keep emailing the same things, "I want to spy on my boyfriend, how do I do X". I hope you fully explore the blog before heading straight to the contact page or comment form. I listed all the relevant information on the sidebar. Please also do your own research on state laws regarding spying on cheating husbands/wives and cheating spouse spyware(that is listed here). I will not give you legal advice, I am not a lawyer. All I know is if you own something, you can freely attach a GPS car tracker to it, or a cell phone spy. I don't think there's a law against protecting your own property. I do not wish to be responsible for people installing spyware on their neighbors cars, or co-workers' cellphones so please do your own research or look at the privacy policies at the corresponding sites that I link out to before buying any type of device or software that monitors anything.

If you just need reassurance that you're not an evil person for trying to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it to make sure your relationship is not in danger, or is it for selfish, baseless jealousy?

Besides the ways to spy on a spouse already described in this blog (check the sidebar), here are a few more ways to "spy" on a spouse that does not involve gadgets or private eyes. It's not really spying in the sense that we are monitoring their conversations, spying in the sense that we are keeping ourselves informed.

Free Ways To Spy On A Spouse

1. If you and your spouse leave the house together for work, be the one to fix the bed. Fold your sheets in a different way that you're used to, so if they come back home and mess around in the bed, you'll know it. Not necessarily going to tell you that they were with someone, but it will be an effective way of "spying", because you can bait them to check if they were home. You can also leave small things on the bed, couches or tables that you can look for when you get back home.

2. Get a friend your spouse has never seen, or does not know they are your friend, and ask them to hit on or flirt with your spouse. This is extremely effective if you have a willing friend. Ask them to take it as far as your spouse seems willing to go. Basically, ask them to try and have an affair with your spouse. You can then bait your spouse with questions like "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "Did you talk to anyone?", and you can be guaranteed that they won't be able to lie their way out of this one. Related article for you is "Bait Your Cheating Spouse"

3.The passenger car seat is another effective tool we can use. If you want to spy on your husband, set the passenger car seat all the way to the back, so if a woman rides in the passenger side they will have to adjust it a little. Do the opposite if you want to spy on your wife. Simple, not very effective since it's so easy to make an excuse for it, but if the car seat keeps adjusting, they won't be able to keep using the same excuse. Won't be effective at all if your spouse car pools with other people.

4. Like what I recommend on the cheating spouse guide, start a blog (it's free) and keep daily, weekly, and monthly records of your spouse's mileage. If you don't have spare cash for a GPS car tracker, this should be good enough. Of course they can make excuses, but if the amount of miles spikes up real high, you will be informed. Not a very good replacement to using a GPS car tracker, but better than baseless accusations.

5. Do the exact same thing for their monthly spending. Record the data and try and ask your spouse what they spent their money on. Most likely gas and food, so you can compute the costs and eventually notice anomalies in their monthly budget. Look for the typical gifts you buy for someone when dating, flowers, chocolates, or clothing (that's for the opposite sex of your spouse).

6. Email your spouse using an anonymous email address and try and bait them into an intimate conversation. Try and see how they react to your flirting. If your spouse spend a lot of time in forums or chatrooms, chances are they will reply to your anonymous emails.

7. Similar to the above, but use this against spouse's that spend most of their free time on facebook, social sites, or even worse dating sites. I don't know why you need to spy on your spouse if they are spending time on DATING sites. Immediately confront them about it. Dating sites are not something you should spend time on if you are married or are in a serious relationship. What better person than you to create a fake profile to flirt with your spouse, you will know all their weaknesses.

Note : Most paid dating or adult sites will try to mask their websites, to protect your spouse's privacy, but you can google the names or sites that you have never seen before and check what they really are. There's no hiding from google.


Remember, before confronting your spouse make sure you have undeniable evidence of what you are accusing. Excuse proof evidence, or don't confront. If they lie their way out of your questions, they will just think harder next time they cheat and leave no clues.