If you feel you are ready to go on with this difficult task, apply the methods found below and don't hesitate to send us an email or ask help on the forums.
Firstly, I would suggest you to create a blog, and set it to private. That way you can keep track of the suspicious behavior your spouse/partner is showing, and have it recorded somewhere private and anonymous. You can set a blogger blog private so that only people who are invited to read the contents can view it. This is free and secure.
Why do I suggest creating a private blog? Because you will want to be rational and list the items you find suspicious so you can try to get answers to them, or expand on your search for answers. Down the line, people tend to get really paranoid and something as simple as a missing receipt could be the cause of a huge fight, that would potentially be relationship breaking. With a blog and a record of events that seem out of place for your spouse, you can rely on facts and not emotions when dealing with and confronting your spouse. And to repeat, it helps you from being delusional and paranoid by making up events.
Everything you find suspicious you list there, and if you've installed any of the devices used to catch a cheating spouse, you could list down their locations from the GPS trackers and all other related data because the cellphone trackers/gps trackers will not keep your data for you forever, they delete it after a set amount of time (around 1-3 months).Blogger.com keeps your posts up forever.
When I say "rely on facts and not emotions" I mean proving the signs of cheating that you've observed from your significant other. If they said they were working overtime, but it does not reflect on their paycheck or car mileage, and you confront them because it seems fishy, that is NOT fact. Confronting them with the data gathered by a GPS car tracker backing up your suspicions, that IS fact. I would avoid any sort of confrontation without facts like that, you only make things worse with baseless accusations.
Signs of a cheating spouse
If you haven't already, read the page on cheating signs for a list of things you should watch out for. If your spouse has shown any signs of cheating, list that down in your blog, or take note of it mentally (better start that blog, I guarantee you it will help keep your sanity). Then try to think of probable answers to why/how/where etc for this cheating sign to be happening and list it down on your blog. When you have enough cheating signs, and probable answers as to why those happened, try and fish for answers from your spouse. Do they match what you think the reason was? Take note of all of those and compare, this will help you determine whether or not your spouse is lying, and how consistent their stories are.This would be easier if you have some way of proving that their answers aren't lies. Take this situation for example :
You live with your boyfriend, who works 9 to 5, but he almost always comes home late during Fridays. He says it's over time for work. You believe him, but when he brings home the same amount of money, for more amount of work, you get suspicious. This is a reasonable situation to get suspicious since you see him less, and what he told you does not add up because he brings home the same amount of money.
Record that in your blog or take a mental note of it. Try to get to the bottom of it and eliminate it as a sign of cheating. How you do that depends on the sign, but for this case you can either offer to pick him up, talk to his workmates and ask if your boyfriend has been working overtime, use a GPS tracker on a car you both own, or a GPS tracker on a cellphone you both own and compare where he says he is to where the GPS tracker says he is. It's definitely easier and guaranteed that a GPS Car tracker/Cell phone spy will be telling you the truth compared to what his friends/workmates will say.
If his friends say your boyfriend has been working overtime, make a note of that and ask your boyfriend why he doesn't get paid more for the extra work. If the GPS car tracker, or the cellphone spy you used says that he is not where he says he is, you just found out that he is lying, and could mean he is cheating on you. Confront him and tell him you know he is lying, don't be delusional or wait for things to get worse, confrontation is always good if you have enough facts to back up your accusations. Letting a lie linger and get bigger could potentially be relationship breaking.
How can starting a blog help you in this situation? One of the free ways to catch a cheating spouse mentioned in this site is recording of your car's mileage. With a blog, you can easily store the data you collect and keep them from prying eyes. If they drive 20 miles a day going from your home to work, then it would be a reasonable expectation to see the same number during the times they are "working overtime". If whenever they work overtime the car's mileage shows 40+ miles instead of the usual 20-30 miles, you'll know they've been going to other places besides work; ask them whether or not they went anywhere else before home, and if they say no, they're obviously lying because the car's mileage tells another story.
Not letting your spouse know you are on to them is something you should maintain, we don't want any he said-she said arguments, we want to make them confess to an affair so we can work it out; that is how keeping your data secure in a private blog or site can help you.
Here's another example :
Your girlfriend says she's going shopping, but doesn't come home with anything, or very little in comparison to the amount of time she spent shopping (5+ hours for example ne). If this happens regularly, once a month, you should write this down.
If she says she was just window shopping, this would be the perfect opportunity to ask to accompany her next time. Another thing you could do to catch your girlfriend cheating is if the receipts do not match the timeline. If she bought something at 4pm, then gets home around 8pm+, that could mean they're lying and just bought something quickly then went on to do something else right after. Again, a GPS car tracker on your car, or a cellphone you own would help you with this. But you get the point, add these signs to a blog or anywhere where you can analyze the facts rationally rather than blindly start accusing your spouse/partner.
Read the cheating signs post, then list them down and analyze. After you have a list of cheating signs, read the next part. It's much more easier to determine which methods to use when you have signs written down. You can select which way would be most effective, and you can also let other people (our forums, email me directly) so we can share our opinions on your problems.
Ways to catch a cheating spouse
Do you suspect your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend of lying about where they are going?-You could attach a GPS car tracker on a car that you both own and monitor it's location. This is usually powered by google maps, which lets you view pin point locations of where the GPS tracker was or currently is (if it's the active type GPS). Read this to know more about GPS car trackers. Read this to know more about GPS Cellphone Trackers.
Free alternative to GPS Trackers :
-As mentioned above, daily record keeping of your spouse's mileage will help you know if they are lying about where they've been. This can't be as accurate as the data provided by GPS trackers, but it sure does help knowing your spouse is lying. A jump from 25 miles average daily car travel to 40+ can't be just a "quick stop" to have some dinner with friends; and if it was eating out with friends, then why would they have to keep it secret?
Do you suspect your spouse of having an emotional affair via the internet?
-Check out the keylogger guide to find out what is being written on your computer. Remember that for laptops, DO NOT buy a hardware keylogger, your only way of monitoring a laptop is by using software keyloggers.
Free alternative to hardware or software keyloggers :
-Set your internet browser to record websites visited. You can do this by going to the Tools -> Options -> Privacy tab on your Firefox browser. For more ways to do it in different browsers read the "Track spouse's internet browsing history" page.
If your spouse is tech savvy though, this will not work. You can check whether or not your spouse disabled this feature by pressing CTRL + H on your computer or laptop while the browser is active. If the screen is blank, website logging is disabled.
If you are looking for free keylogger software, I will never recommend any. Why? I do not want to be responsible for your computer or laptop being infected by a trojan, and eventually losing your passwords and personal details to malicious hackers that sell your data. Be warned, most of the so called freeware keyloggers are badware/malware disguised as freeware so they can monitor YOU, not help you monitor your computer.
Do you suspect your spouse of having an emotional affair via cellphone?
-Read the cellphone spy overview page. Remember to research your local state laws before you monitor any type of device. It is written on top of every page in this site that you should read the disclaimers of anything you wish to use to monitor someone, and research your local state laws. We will not give you legal advice.
Free alternative to cell phone spies :
-Unfortunately there are no free alternatives to this. Why? Like the keyloggers above, I will never recommend freeware that could potentially cost you your bank account, personal details, or have you lose thousands of dollars because someone installs a trojan or virus on your phones.
BUT you do have the choice of using any of the mobile phone spies I recommend for 60 days. If you are not happy with them, they offer a 100% money back guarantee. I guess these are the free alternatives, buy them then refund at day 59. I wouldn't do that though because your credit card will get banned from their online stores. If I was strapped for cash I would get the one time payment $40 cell phone spy. I guarantee you it will be worth every penny, I still have mine now, installed on all of my kid's phones. The one I am talking about is cell phone spy 1, found on the cellphone spy page.
Is your spouse going out of town, and you can't use GPS car tracking?
-You can still use the cellphone spies described above, those work anywhere as long as the cellphone can access the internet. But you could also hire a private eye. Hiring a private investigator is VERY EXPENSIVE, and is the last thing I would recommend to anyone.(unless you're rich, then that is the first thing I recommend)
If you can spend thousands of dollar hiring a private eye, then go ahead, but I would rather just use a simple mobile phone spy that has GPS tracking. Less than one hundred dollars for a simple mobile spy or sim card reader vs thousands of dollars hiring a private detective. What a private detective can do that you can't do with spy tools is installing expensive hidden cameras/motion sensors in your home, and of course out of town recon.
Please read this guide on how to hire a private investigator before hiring a local private investigator. Do your research before you hire one, because a low quality private investigator may do illegal activities which YOU can get sued for if your spouse finds out they are being spied on.
Same for the cell phone spies, gps trackers, and keyloggers, when hiring a private eye, ask them if they know about the local state laws about monitoring someone and tell them you don't want any illegal spying. Why not? Because illegal spying will land you in jail if your spouse finds out and decides to sue you, and if you're planning on getting a divorce, evidence collected from illegal spying will not be usable in a court of law. Even the US government can't spy on criminals illegally.
Free alternatives to GPS trackers or Private Investigators :
-There are no alternatives to private investigators. A private investigator is the final solution to all your infidelity problems, if they didn't cost so much I would recommend them over everything else. If you are rich, definitely save yourself the stress and anxiety and head over to the private investigator. The only alternative to a private detective that I can think of is following this guide and related articles and do the work yourself.
An alternative to GPS trackers, such as the one listed above, won't work for spouses who will be going out of town. You can't monitor their miles traveled because you have no data to compare it with because going out of town is not a common thing, and they most likely won't be using a car. What you can use though, if you can't afford the mobile phone spy, is a cheap passive GPS data collector. It will record where your spouse goes, and you can compare that data with the story your spouse gives you. Maybe you might catch them lying and they didn't even leave town and just spent a week in a hotel with their mistress. As always, research the state laws of both yours and the state they are going to. It may be legal to monitor your spouse in your state, but may be illegal where they are going to. I would hate for someone being cheated on to land in jail because they were ignorant of their state laws.
Want to track your spouse's internet activity and images on the internet?
Articles of interest for you are :
Paid ways to catch your cheating spouse :
Cellphone spies - to monitor your spouse's emails and internet browsing (including images and videos) on the cellphone. (look at cell phone spy 2 if you want images and videos)
Catch A Cheating Spouse With a Keylogger - To monitor their internet activities on the computer or laptop, screen captures depend on the type of keylogger you use.
Free ways to catch your cheating spouse :
Reverse Image Tracking.- Find out where your spouse's images are on the web.
Track Spouse's Internet Browsing History - Find out how to record your internet browsing history and automatically store passwords.
Bait Your Cheating Spouse - Bait your spouse and see if they "bite". This is one of our favorite methods to catch your spouse cheating and it's highly effective against people with huge egos.
Do you suspect your spouse is having people over the house when you are not home?
-Use a hidden spy camera to catch your spouse cheating. Perfect for a stay at home husband or wife.
Free alternative to hidden cameras :
-There really isn't any free alternative to this other than pretending you have to go on a long trip and asking a friend or neighbor to watch your house while you're gone. Of course they will have to be told the full story about how your spouse may be cheating on you. Nothing beats a nanny cam though.
Want to know who an unknown number belongs to?
-Use the form on the linked article to check a 10 digit US phone number, or read more about the Reverse Phone Lookup method. Sorry but this service only works for phone numbers within the USA. I will try and look for reverse phone lookup services in Canada and the UK, or you could help me by emailing me any service you've personally used that works for Canada and the UK (or any other country).
Free alternatives to Reverse Phone Lookup Services :
-There are no free alternatives to this unfortunately. What you could do is contact a friend and ask them to call all the unknown numbers you have collected and check who owns the phone. Then run a google search for that name, phone number, and see how they are connected to your spouse.
Is your wife a housewife?
If she is, you should read the how to catch a cheating wife article where I give my thoughts about the current methods listed here, and what would be best to use against a housewife(or husband). Please don't take this the wrong way, this is just to provide you with what the cheater's mindset is like. The more you know about how they think, and the things that they can do to avoid being caught, the better you will be at catching them.
Surviving Infidelity
For those of you who have just finished dealing with your cheating spouses, or are in the middle of the process, I strongly recommend venting your feelings through the cheating spouse stories page, sending us an email, or joining/posting anonymously on the surviving infidelity forums. Don't underestimate the value of having other people (even just through the internet) give you support. We've all been through this, and it's easier with someone listening to your story and giving your advice.Know of any other ways that isn't listed here? You can send it to us by email, or by posting it on the comments section.
Updated April 2011 : Replaced old forums with new support forums.