Semen Testing Kits - Detect Sperm Stain On Articles of Clothing

Sperm detection kits - useful or waste of money?

What used to be only available to CSI/detectives, can now be bought online for a cheap $30-50 per "kit". But are semen test kits really worth $30 to $50?

In my opinion, any type of disposable semen detector is a waste of money. For $50, you could buy a cell phone spy, GPS car tracker, or a software based keylogger. A typical semen detection kit costs anywhere between $30 (for a five strip kit), to $50 (for a 25 strip kit), and once you use up those strips, you've used up your money.

In order for this kit to be even slightly useful, you'd have to apply them to all articles of clothing your spouse has used during the day/week/month or however long your investigation lasts. That means potentially hundreds of dollars will be used just to keep buying these sperm detectors until you are satisfied that no cheating is going on, not very efficient.

If you've read the signs of a cheating spouse article, in it I mention one of the common signs a cheater displays : heading immediately to the bathroom when they get home. They do that to double check their clothing, and clean up their bodies. Another sign is packing a change of clothes with them, real common for cheaters who use the "gym" excuse to leave the house. Your kits will be useless against a smart cheater, and although semen stains can last for a few months when left alone, if the stain is properly cleaned, it won't be detected by the kits nor any type of UV black light.


Reasons you SHOUDN'T buy a semen testing kit :

These test kits are mainly designed for men to catch their wives or girlfriends cheating. If you're a woman, you wouldn't need to detect for semen unless you suspect the affair happening at home, or in the car. Even then it's still unreliable because there's always going to be an excuse for it : "I masturbated"; the results of your test won't count for anything because of that excuse, and what I always recommend is NEVER confront unless you can 100% prove your accusations.

It's EXPENSIVE. $30 to $50 is not, but the amount of strips you are going to need will not be as little as you think. You'll use up the 5 or 25 strips you buy, then you'll start thinking "what if I just missed it? I should get more". A box of testing strips (25 stirps) will cost you $50, how many articles of clothing, bedsheets, or car seat covers are you going to check for semen stains? This could last as little as a week or a month, especially if you're at that stage where you just recently discovered possible signs of an affair and are extremely paranoid.

For men : you could mistakenly detect your own semen. Semen, when not properly washed out of clothing, will stain it; semen stains can last for several months unless cleaned properly. While you may feel like some kind of CSI or private eye doing your own sperm test at home, you will need to make sure there was absolutely none of YOUR own semen on the clothing, bedsheets, or car covers you are testing. This is not a DNA test, it's a simple semen detector, so you won't be able to tell if it's yours or someone elses. You might even need to test everything twice, once where you normally go about your life, and again after you withhold any type of sexual encounter with your spouse to eliminate the chance of you detecting your own sperm.



For those who still want to buy a semen detection kit

Make sure you buy a cheap UV blacklight along with your semen detection kit, it will save you a lot of money on wasted strips.

A UV blacklight will illuminate any dried semen, along with any other types of bodily fluid stains on your clothing, bedspreads, or car seats. From there, you can smartly use your test strips to determine whether or not it's semen.


There's so much more cost effective options available to you than doing your own semen test at home, which I still don't believe contributes anything for catching a cheating husband because of the above excuse I mentioned.

Maybe if the kits only cost $5 per 25 strips, I would happily recommend using it, but $30 for 5? or even $50 for 25 strips? Not worth it to use for women, and expensive to use for men; not a recommended way to catch a cheating spouse.

Note : I just saw the top semen spy kit being talked about on Jay Leno the other day! Someone was selling it on ebay for $80!

Software Keyloggers For Macs And Windows

In the original keylogger article, we only talked about hardware keyloggers for the PC, I've done some updating on the old article to keep the information fresh, bought a new keylogger and did some research on mac compatible keyloggers. If you haven't already done so, check out the first article catch a cheating spouse with keyloggers.

Like the cell phone spies comparison, I've chosen a cheap simple keylogger VS a complex pc/mac monitoring software, so you can decide which one you want.

The reasons I chose the first one is because of the price (one time fee = unbeatable price in my opinion), and it has everything you need to catch a cheater on the computer.

I chose the second keylogger to give you more options; I honestly find the "live monitoring" of a mac or pc to be too much and detrimental to your goal of catching a cheating spouse. It will drive you insane and may cause you to spend all your time watching the laptop live. The added features also drive the price up, and I dislike subscription based products.

I only bought the first keylogger, because it was cheap and I can use it on my kid's laptops. I did buy the second one after demo testing it but returned it after (the demo is very limited). Keylogger 2 had too many features I did not need plus it's subscription based. You can find the demos for keylogger 1 and 2 below (windows only).

Keylogger 1 "Perfect Keylogger" (for Macs and PCs)

Perfect Keylogger by Blazing Tools costs $34.95 for the basic keylogger, $44.95 for the basic keylogger with added password recording.

Links :
Product Page (mac)
Product Page (windows)
Purchase (mac)
Purchase (windows) 
Trial Version (windows direct download link). Unfortunately they don't offer trials for macs.
Contact their support for inquiries, there's a link on every page to send them an email.

The filename of the keylogger trial download for windows should be i_bpk2007.exe. Here's a screenshot of the virus scan I did on the trial version for windows :

And here's a link to a list of multiple virus scans on the same file, it's clean except for one scanner that detected the file to be "damaged".

Features of the "Perfect Keylogger"

CHEAP - The best feature, it's a one time payment fee software. Although they charge extra for password recording, it's still worth it considering it's competition is charging you $10 or so per month. When I buy something, I want to own it, not rent it; I dislike any subscription based gadgets.

Records Keystrokes - Records all keystrokes, even on websites that are password protected (email contents, hidden facebook or myspace pages, or personal chat rooms).

Undetectable - Typical virus scanners and anti spamware won't detect "Perfect keylogger" once you've installed it on your mac or pc.

Keyword Email Alerts - One of the advantages software keyloggers have over the hardware based ones are features like this. In the settings page, you can input several keywords to monitor. When the spy software detects anything on your list, it sends you an email. Perfect if you know or suspect your spouse is cheating with someone named "Jenny", you can have an email sent to you when that name is typed. Take a look at the example screenshot.

Simple To Use - No tech skills required to use or install. They do offer a "quick install builder" for an additional $10, but don't fall for it. Save your $10, instead spend an extra ten minutes to read through the settings, it's quite intuitive and easy to setup. You could also spend the extra $10 on the password recording feature.

Lifetime Support - If for some reason it doesn't work for you, you can email or call tech support for free help, or you could refund if it's within their 100% money back guarantee period (60 days).

Lifetime Updates - This is another reason why you should buy the "Perfect Keylogger", for a one time fee you get unlimited updates. That means if an anti virus or anti spyware software installed on the computer patches their software to detect this keylogger, Blazing Tools will eventually release a patch of their own to keep the keylogger undetected and fully functioning.

Task Manager Invisible (windows) - When you press CTRL + ALT + Delete on your windows pc, it brings up a menu which lets you access the task manager. The task manager displays all the programs currently running on your computer (explorer.exe, YahooMessenger.exe, Firefox.exe, etc). The perfect keylogger is not detected and remains invisible.

Password Capture - Optional (an added $10) password recording for all applications. This is the only downside of the product for me. They should have just changed the price to $44.95, cause this is a feature most people need. For the windows version, this comes in with the standard $34.95 version.

Chat Logging - Log all chat sessions on iChat, Adium, Skype, Yahoo, MSN, AIM, Facebook, Adium, and other popular messengers or websites. Keylogging of chat sessions are for both people in the conversation, not just what is being typed on your computer like most hardware keyloggers do.

Web Logging - Logs all websites visited on mac browsers (Safari, Opera, and Firefox)

Screen Capture - Ability to set the keylogger to take screenshots using the target feature.

Snapshot Capture - Like the screen capture, you can set your iSight camera to take snapshots of YOUR ROOM (and the person using the mac) while you aren't there.

Remote Monitoring - Let the software email you the reports, screenshots/websites included. You can check the results from anywhere you can access an email (iPhone/Windows PC). Another added bonus is compatibility with iDisk and FTP (for website owners).

Multiple installs - You can install the keylogger on each account on your mac.
Multiple Language Support - English, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, Thai, Etc.

Perfect Keylogger System Requirements :

Mac OS X 10.4.x, 10.5.x or 10.6.x (10.5.x or later recommended)

Works on any Mac (iMac, Mac Book, Mac Book Pro, Mac Book Air, Mac Pro, Mac mini) produced since Jan 2006. Also compatible with older Power PC Macs with Mac OS X 10.4.x and 10.5.x.

Windows 2000 or later, Internet Explorer 5.0 or later.

Internet connection is required for both Macs and PCs if you are going to use the email alert or online storage features.

Keylogger 2 "Sniper Spy" (for Macs and PCs)

SniperSpy costs $39.97 quarterly, $59.97 semi-anually, and $79.97 anually.

Why does it cost a subscription? Because unlike perfect keylogger which stores your files locally or emails your reports, sniper spy stores all the data on their servers, and it gives you more complex features like remotely controlling the computer or laptop your installed the software on.

Links:
Product Page (mac)
Product Page (windows)
Purchase quarterly (mac)
Purchase quarterly (windows)
The demo is available online, just view the windows product page and click on "Online Demo". This will take you to the backend of the software. They are similar for both windows and macs.

Features of "Sniper Spy"

Basically, this is "Perfect Keylogger" on steroids. Most of the added features are remote monitoring features, and remote access capabilities.

Backend View of Sniper Spy

Location Tracking - This feature is like having a GPS device installed in your computer. It records the IP address of the Mac or PC that is being tracked to determine it's location and shows you the coordinates on Google Maps.

Click to enlarge

Live Screen View - Provided the target mac or pc is actively being used on the internet, you can view their screen just how they are seeing it. This include live keystroke tracking, live chat tracking, and viewing access to what programs they are currently running. This is the only feature that justifies the subscription fee they offer. If you don't need live monitoring of your spouse's computer or laptop, skip this and get the first keylogger.
 

Browse and Download Files Remotely - Like the live screen view, you can access the computer's folders and view the files from anywhere. This is another overkill feature in my opinion. If you feel that you need to stealthily access their hard drive and download files from their laptop to your computer, this should help. But you wouldn't really need this when catching a cheating spouse, all you need is to find out if they are having an affair online so you can confront them about it.

Remote Control, Literally - This is not something you want to do. Like I've said repeatedly on this site, you want your spouse to not know you are on to the affair so they won't get better at keeping secrets.

The "remote control" features of this keylogger are more suited if you are monitoring a child surfing the internet, and employee, or a relative surfing things you do not approve of on your mac/computer. Another reason that justifies the subscription cost, SniperSpy gives you the capability to :

• Start applications, undetected.
• Forcibly log a user out and take them back to the login screen.
• Shut down or restart your mac or pc.
• And my favorite, for monitoring kids, the ability to send them a warning (see pic below)

Click to Enlarge

Those are the only differences between keylogger 1 and keylogger 2. Another pro for Sniper Spy is that they have a customer support hotline you can call : 1-888-475-5345. You most likely won't need it though since the instructions and on site guides, for both keyloggers 1 and 2, are easy to follow.

Sniper Spy Keylogger  System Requirements :

Mac OS X v10.6 Snow Leopard or Mac OS X v10.5 Leopard
Windows 2000/XP/Vista/7
An internet connection of at least 56k speed.

What keylogger should you buy?

For windows desktop users, get the hardware keylogger found on the original article. Why? It's a cheap piece of equipment that does everything we want, help us find out if our spouses are having an affair. A cheap keylogger is anywhere between $10-50 depending on the memory size.

For windows and mac laptop users, I recommend the first keylogger, perfect keylogger, because it's cheap, and does the job well. No need to go James Bond with Keylogger 2, remember the goal is just to find out about the affair so we can prevent it from getting worse. Not be obsessed and monitor our spouse's live 24/7.

More ways to catch a cheating spouse can be found at the guide. If you are planning on just downloading some random software you found while searching for "free keyloggers", you might want to read this article first : "Free" Keyloggers and Cell phone Spies

Freeware Keyloggers And Cellphone Spies - Stay Far Far Away

Why you should never use free keyloggers and free cell phone spies

If you've read the catch a cheating spouse guide, you'll know that we promote the cheaper alternatives over the professional private investigators, and even list possible free alternatives to the paid methods of catching a cheater. I'm all for saving money but -and this is a very important but- not when you are risking your private personal information.

Did you know most of these so called "free keyloggers" are actually trojans/viruses designed to steal your private information and passwords? Same for mobile phone "free software". Everything nowadays is digital, so it's not uncommon for people to do their banking online. Which makes them targets for unethical hackers (yes, there are ethical hackers). Any software that promises you something that seems too good to be true, and it costs NOTHING, is more often than not a scam.

Sure you can get it for free and test it, then remove it when it doesn't work, but is it really off of your system for good or do you now have a virus installed? This is what happens to hundreds of thousands of people who rely on dodgy freeware instead of paying for their softwares. Instead of being able to monitor your own computer at home and protecting your kids / catching a cheater, you get your computer infected by a trojan virus and risk losing thousands of dollars because you wanted to save on spending $30-60 for a reliable software backed by an actual business.

Here's an example where a free software steals your private information and emails it to the creator of the malware you just installed :

" I noticed that every time a user adds their account to the program to back up their data, it sends and email with their username and password to his(malware creator's) personal email box! Having just entered my own information I became concerned." View the whole post

In the above example, the software being downloaded was not even a keylogger or cellphone spy, it was a program that helped you create local offline gmail archives. The person downloading it was a CODER, and even he didn't know that it was malware until it was too late.

Now think about what you are doing, you want to save a couple of bucks and get a free mobile spy or keylogger. If you take a look at the above, a program that has nothing to do with keyloggers, stole this person's usernames and passwords, how much worse could this be if you downloaded an actual keylogger that was designed to record your computer's activity? Not only will your usernames and passwords be recorded, but everything you type on the computer will be recorded and sent. The worst part is, you will be ignoring the alerts of any type of anti virus programs you have on because you'll be thinking "hey, this is a program that I installed, so this must be a fake signal".

I am not bashing on freeware at all, I'm just saying that when it comes to things that are as important as monitoring your computer's activity, I would rather buy from a reputable site. If I get infected, I have an email or contact number to use. If my personal information gets stolen, there's an actual company that you can contact (or sue). If you use freeware from one of the anonymous people who submit them, you may end up losing your bank account password or paypal information.

It's like picking a voodoo witch doctor, over an actual doctor who graduated from medical school. Yes, it's that severe if you do any type of online shopping or banking.

Still looking for a freeware keylogger? You know the risks. I would only ever download freeware on a computer that is totally empty, and never gets used for online banking, shopping, paypal, ebay or anything connected to my hard earned real life cash. $30-60 vs your personal information being stolen. It's your choice, I'm just trying to persuade you that the risk is far greater than the reward.

If you've already made up your mind and I can't convince you to NOT download free software spies, then why not try this mobile phone spy, which has a 2 month trial (with a 100% money back guarantee). Even if you have no reason to spend money on it, you will have the full product for free for the next 59 days until you decide to cancel and return it. (I will update this post when I find a similar keylogger software that has a fully functional free trial)

Products that are sold are far safer because you are dealing with an actual merchant. A merchant who has to register a business, get a merchant account at paypal or other payment processors, and verify their existence. Online merchants have to jump through a lot of hoops just to get to sell their products, and if they sell you viruses, they get sued and lose millions. Wouldn't you rather try their fully functional demo than download a "free" software spy from an anonymous/faceless coder that could potentially get your PC or Mac hacked?

If you want to save money, keyloggers, celphone spies, gps devices, and other types of software spies are NOT the place to skimp on. The best place you can save cash on is information, such as the information we provide here, for free. Compare the cheating spouse guide linked above to any kind of ebook you can get, and you'll see we have better information(that constantly changes) than any ebook, and our price is unbeatable :-)

Just out of curiosity though, I bought a "catch a cheating spouse guide! guaranteed" ebook for $50 dollars, and another ebook "Learn the truth! Find out whether or not your spouse is cheating on you!" for $30. What did I find in it? The same things we teach you here, but they don't talk about nearly as much about the things we teach here, and we do it for FREE, not for $50 a book. Why do we have more info? Because after 3 years of being online, dozens of readers have shared their own methods and opinions on everything, causing our content to evolve every few months. We are very grateful to those that email us their stories and how they've dealt with their problems.

How did we find out about these ebooks? Because they regularly add spam to our comments, and hey, if they work that hard, might as well give them a shot right? Not really, I just wanted to see if I should approve their comments or not. If the books they sold actually offered value to readers here, I wouldn't keep them locked up in the spam prison blogger.com has banished them too.

If you want to save money, this is the place to do it. You don't need an ebook that costs $50 to catch a cheating spouse, you can just use our free cheating spouse guide. If there are things we missed on how to catch someone cheating, guess what, when a reader emails or comments about it, we add the new methods (or try the product ourselves before considering it). The only time I consider getting an ebook is when it's written by an actual known person in the fields I'm interested in, or something I know there won't be any other places to get it from (recipe ebooks, I always buy those without question).

Another thing an ebook will never give you is the ability to vent your frustrations to like minded people who understand you. I know, we take a while to answer emails, but we've recently started a Surviving Infidelity Forums so people can give each other advice.There's still also the cheating spouse stories page for those that want to leave their experiences for others to learn from.

So if you want to save, save on informational products like guides to catch your spouse cheating. Do not try and save a few bucks on keyloggers or anything that could potentially be dangerous. Please think very long and hard before you buy any software designed to monitor your computer or cell phone, and be very skeptical when the software is "free".

Bait Your Cheating Spouse

Another way to catch your spouse cheating is by baiting them into an affair. How does this work? We will do this on the internet, because a lot of cheaters start their affairs on the internet before actually meeting up, it's the world we live in now; even affairs are digital.

First you have to know which social site your spouse spends their time in, a social site is something like facebook, myspace, orkut, etc. Another way is by finding out which chatrooms they go to, or webcam chats, such as stickam, omegle, or chat roulette. The last 2, omegle or chat roulette, are more difficult to work with because it is random, so you can't bait your spouse unless you happen to meet each other, which is highly unlikely.

Once you know which social site they frequent, join that site and create a fake profile to bait your spouse with. Who better than you to create someone your spouse will be attracted to. Make sure not to overdo it though, don't use celebrity pictures, or pictures of famous people as your profile pic. Set your status as single, looking for *sex of your spouse*, then find them on their social site.

When you find them, send them a personal message, throw them a compliment (feed their ego) and tell them you are looking to make new friends and magically you are in a nearby area. If they are on chatrooms, join that chat room and start a conversation, ask to trade pictures then throw them a compliment or two and say you want to trade emails. This is one of the reasons this method works best, you can uncover their secret emails.

If your spouse is cheating on you, then you can expect a positive response to this. Start talking to them on a regular basis, ask them about their life and what they enjoy doing. Notice if they mention anything related to their family or spouse; if they do mention their family or spouse, ask them about their spouse (you). Try to start an emotional affair with your spouse and take it as far as you can go until they are actually willing to meetup with you.

Keep prodding about their spouse(you) and ask them if it's okay that you are talking with them, say things like "won't your spouse get mad that we talk alot?", "will your spouse get jealous if you tell him/her about me?", see how they react. A cheater will always keep it secret and respond with "she doesn't need to know" or "it's okay, no one's going to tell". you should take that as a hint to move on and slowly steer the conversations into something a little more sexual. This is when you will know that your spouse is a cheater.

Try and bait them into telling you about their cheating stories by making up your own story. If they are really cheating on you, they will have a lot to share, just make sure you don't make it sound like you regret it; make it seem like you loved cheating on your wife or husband, and imply that you are looking to do it again. This will cause the cheater to be interested in you even more.

Here's the turning point, you can either continue on with baiting stories out of them to collect evidence of infidelity, OR you can take it a step further by involving a friend. If you have a willing friend, it's best to start this whole baiting process with them, so they know the whole story of your fake persona. When it gets far enough that you are in an emotional affair with your spouse, ask them if they would be willing to have a phone conversation with you.

Now this is why we love this method best, it's a FREE way to catch your spouse cheating, you get your spouse to confess their cheating stories to you, AND if you're really lucky, like the secret emails you will have found out about their secret cell phones. A lot of people discover secret cell phones of their spouses this way.

Make your friend talk to them on the phone or cell phone a few times until they get comfortable enough that they initiate the sexual talk. If this is not proof enough that your husband or wife is cheating, ask your friend to request a meet up in a nearby hotel.

If they agree, go to that hotel yourself and do your confrontation there. This is also helpful if you have kids at home, they shouldn't be seeing their parents fight about an affair.

Catch Cheating Spouse With Voice Recorder

Ever wanted to spy on your spouse's secret phone conversations? Buying a cheap (less than $80) digital voice recorder will solve your problems. These recorders are typically used by students to record their classes, or by journalists when conducting interviews. It's also similar to what private investigators install in your homes or cars, like what you see in the TV show cheaters.

Please remember before you start spying on your spouse with any type of tool, read the disclaimers on the websites that sell you the tools and follow that up with researching your local state laws regarding monitoring or recording conversations.

When looking for a voice recorder, make sure to find one with either an AVR(voice activated recording) function, or overly long recording time; the more expensive voice recorders, $100+, allow up to 500+ hours of recoding time. If you are on a budget, you definitely want the voice activated recorder.

Rather than just using a large storage voice recorder, you can use the voice activated recorder to record phone conversations that your spouse typically hides from you. There are of course large storage digital recorders that also have the AVR feature, and there are also voice activated phone recorders, designed specifically for phones. I have not found a voice activated phone recorder yet that was made to spy on phones, so I can't recommend anything; most of the dedicated phone recorders I've found require the user to either activate the record function, or alert them after a recording has been made.

Basically any phone with AVR feature should be your priority, I attached a link to a cheap voice recorder with AVR that only costs $30 and has 200 hours worth of recording time, and another voice recorder with double the amount of storage (also with AVR) for double the price just to give you some choices. I would go get the cheaper one unless your spouse goes away for more than a few days and you want to keep the spy tool in the car.

Important : If you choose to look for your own spy tools to record conversations, remember that there is a huge difference between digital voice recorders and digital voice PHONE recorders.

Why use a voice recorder over a voice PHONE recorder?

Because the voice PHONE recorders (as far as my research and amazon tells me), alert the phone user to the recordings, and require manual action before the device records anything.

While the voice recorder with AVR automatically records anything as long as it detects sound.

Think of it like hidden cameras that record everything(a normal voice recorder), VS hidden cameras that only record when it detects movement (a voice recorder with AVR) VS cameras that require the user to press the red record button (voice PHONE recorders).

Just to stress it even more, digital voice recorders are NOT the same as digital voice PHONE recorders.

Where Should I Hide My Voice Recorders?

Does your spouse work out of the house? The best place to hide it is under their car seat, or if you have one of those seat covers with pockets at the back, tape it there just a little bit under the pocket. make sure to hide it before they use the car for work, if you have a recorder with AVR then you have no worries about it running out of space.

According to private investigators, cheaters usually have their conversations while driving to work, and heading back home, if they aren't going to meet up with their spouses that day. If you can't hide this in their cars everyday, try to do so during the middle of the week, when they are less likely to cheat. If you bought something expensive, like a micro voice recorder, you could try and hide it in their briefcases or purses, but that's too risky in my opinion.

Does your spouse stay at home? Best places to catch a cheating housewife or husband at home is right beside the phone, computer (skype or other voip applications), or bed (if they choose mobile phones). Consider getting two cheap recorders instead of one expensive one so you can divide it and monitor the whole house.

If you have an extra car at home you should consider bugging that with your spy devices as well, you never know if your husband or wife really stays at home when you leave for work.

Do you suspect your spouse is having midnight phone calls? Best place to keep your spy tool is inside the bathroom. If you know where they are, maybe they lock up in the guest rooms, you could try hiding it there; but most signs of cheating point to the bathroom, because it's less suspicious to see a spouse coming out of the bathroom in the midnight over seeing them enter the room.


I don't think you need to worry about if your voice recorder is too far or not, because I read almost all the reviews before I buy anything online, as long as it's in the same room it will pickup the sound (I bought the cheaper one btw). Our rooms here are typically 20x15 feet, tested in the bedroom, works great, tested in the bathroom, works even better.

One of the reviewers(for the cheaper product), said that while recording a class in college the voice recorder even picked up the sound of the janitor's mop machine outside. Read more reviews here ($30 one) or here ($60 one). My one gripe about this is that the pop out USB button on mine after I dropped it stopped working, it became permanently exposed, which is a slight annoyance because I don't hide this device, I actually use it a lot to tape books for my kids to play when I'm not at home.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, take a look at the catch a cheating spouse guide we compiled. Click this link for a mobile phone spy guide

Should You Spy On A Cheating Spouse?

Should you spy on your spouse if you suspect cheating?

Some people have a difficult time even thinking of spying on their husband or wife. Is it wrong to spy or attempt to spy on them? I think it's subjective. If you have noticed your spouse is showing the common cheating signs, then yes, go right ahead. Your spouse being secretive and acting like they are hiding something important from you definitely gives you right to snoop on them. If they aren't displaying cheating signs, then there would be no point in spying on them, is there? Also I am a strong believer in no secrets between married couples. If you and your spouse agree with that, then it's very obvious something is wrong when they start keeping information from you.

People keep emailing the same things, "I want to spy on my boyfriend, how do I do X". I hope you fully explore the blog before heading straight to the contact page or comment form. I listed all the relevant information on the sidebar. Please also do your own research on state laws regarding spying on cheating husbands/wives and cheating spouse spyware(that is listed here). I will not give you legal advice, I am not a lawyer. All I know is if you own something, you can freely attach a GPS car tracker to it, or a cell phone spy. I don't think there's a law against protecting your own property. I do not wish to be responsible for people installing spyware on their neighbors cars, or co-workers' cellphones so please do your own research or look at the privacy policies at the corresponding sites that I link out to before buying any type of device or software that monitors anything.

If you just need reassurance that you're not an evil person for trying to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it to make sure your relationship is not in danger, or is it for selfish, baseless jealousy?

Besides the ways to spy on a spouse already described in this blog (check the sidebar), here are a few more ways to "spy" on a spouse that does not involve gadgets or private eyes. It's not really spying in the sense that we are monitoring their conversations, spying in the sense that we are keeping ourselves informed.

Free Ways To Spy On A Spouse

1. If you and your spouse leave the house together for work, be the one to fix the bed. Fold your sheets in a different way that you're used to, so if they come back home and mess around in the bed, you'll know it. Not necessarily going to tell you that they were with someone, but it will be an effective way of "spying", because you can bait them to check if they were home. You can also leave small things on the bed, couches or tables that you can look for when you get back home.

2. Get a friend your spouse has never seen, or does not know they are your friend, and ask them to hit on or flirt with your spouse. This is extremely effective if you have a willing friend. Ask them to take it as far as your spouse seems willing to go. Basically, ask them to try and have an affair with your spouse. You can then bait your spouse with questions like "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "Did you talk to anyone?", and you can be guaranteed that they won't be able to lie their way out of this one. Related article for you is "Bait Your Cheating Spouse"

3.The passenger car seat is another effective tool we can use. If you want to spy on your husband, set the passenger car seat all the way to the back, so if a woman rides in the passenger side they will have to adjust it a little. Do the opposite if you want to spy on your wife. Simple, not very effective since it's so easy to make an excuse for it, but if the car seat keeps adjusting, they won't be able to keep using the same excuse. Won't be effective at all if your spouse car pools with other people.

4. Like what I recommend on the cheating spouse guide, start a blog (it's free) and keep daily, weekly, and monthly records of your spouse's mileage. If you don't have spare cash for a GPS car tracker, this should be good enough. Of course they can make excuses, but if the amount of miles spikes up real high, you will be informed. Not a very good replacement to using a GPS car tracker, but better than baseless accusations.

5. Do the exact same thing for their monthly spending. Record the data and try and ask your spouse what they spent their money on. Most likely gas and food, so you can compute the costs and eventually notice anomalies in their monthly budget. Look for the typical gifts you buy for someone when dating, flowers, chocolates, or clothing (that's for the opposite sex of your spouse).

6. Email your spouse using an anonymous email address and try and bait them into an intimate conversation. Try and see how they react to your flirting. If your spouse spend a lot of time in forums or chatrooms, chances are they will reply to your anonymous emails.

7. Similar to the above, but use this against spouse's that spend most of their free time on facebook, social sites, or even worse dating sites. I don't know why you need to spy on your spouse if they are spending time on DATING sites. Immediately confront them about it. Dating sites are not something you should spend time on if you are married or are in a serious relationship. What better person than you to create a fake profile to flirt with your spouse, you will know all their weaknesses.

Note : Most paid dating or adult sites will try to mask their websites, to protect your spouse's privacy, but you can google the names or sites that you have never seen before and check what they really are. There's no hiding from google.


Remember, before confronting your spouse make sure you have undeniable evidence of what you are accusing. Excuse proof evidence, or don't confront. If they lie their way out of your questions, they will just think harder next time they cheat and leave no clues.

Take a Cheap Lie Detector Test? Think again.

Something to consider when you have run out of options on proving the innocence of your spouse. If you spouse WILLINGLY subjects themselves to a polygraph test, that should make you confident. Although I do not recommend this method, it's still an option for you if there are -cheap- lie detector test services around your area. When I say cheap lie detector, I do not mean the portable types that they sell as gimmicks. I do not believe in the accuracy of the cheap lie detectors nor would I put the fate of your relationship on it.

On that note I also don't believe in regular lie detectors, there are so many ways to beat a lie detector, one could research before taking a lie detector and study up on beating it. There's an old saying, which I have not verified if it's true or not, that taking an aspirin before the test will allow you to beat it. I will have to post a follow up article to this after I have done some research on ways your spouse could beat a lie detector test. I found an amazing site that is completely anti lie detectors. They sound like they are taking it a bit personal, but it's a good read and I suggest browsing their sites completely before you take any tests. Let me save you some time and tell you NOT to take the polygraph test.

Taking a polygraph test costs anywhere between $50-$400. When you find a local service, you better google them and do your due diligence. Check for their records at the bbb as well. I would not trust the cheaper ones(or the regulars ones), unless that is all you have as your option. Ask about the background of the lie detector operator, and what is his actual job. Interview them and ask multiple services and examples of their work. Check if they have any case studies or methods that they can prove their accuracy with. Ask them if it's scientifically proven (and since you did or will do your research before going to one, you'll know whether or not the lie detector operators are LYING to you).

Some reasons you should not trust lie detector tests

"Rule 707 serves the legitimate interest of ensuring that only reliable evidence is introduced. There is simply no consensus that polygraph evidence is reliable: The scientific community and the state and federal courts are extremely polarized on the matter." -http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/96-1133.ZS.html

"When a well-trained examiner uses a polygraph, he or she can detect lying with high accuracy. However, because the examiner's interpretation is subjective and because different people react differently to lying, a polygraph test is not perfect and can be fooled."-http://science.howstuffworks.com/question123.htm

 "Polygraph is more art than science, and unless an admission is obtained, the final determination is frequently what we refer to as a scientific wild-ass guess (SWAG)" -CIA polygrapher -John F. Sullivan

 "...the theory and methods of polygraphic lie detection are not rocket science, indeed, they are not science at all." -Emeritus Professor, David T. Lykken (1928-2006)

 "The so-called 'control' question 'test' polygraph is a technological flight of fancy. It is often used as a psychological rubber hose to induce confessions. Founded on lies, it spreads distrust while posing as the path to truth." -Emeritus Professor, John J. Furedy

If you really can't trust your spouse anymore because they cheated on you, seek marriage counseling or take a couples retreat. A lie detector won't gain that trust back for you. Worse, it may dig you an even deeper hole. See this girl's story attached below about how her spouse got her to confess she cheated on him with a common friend, and could not trust her again. Then they took a lie detector test in an attempt to mend that trust. She volunteered to take it because she said she was so confident she would make him eat the report! She failed the cheap($50 indicated on the post) lie detector test and they got divorced.

I took a lie detector test.My domestic partner and I have had some
issues and it came out that I lied about a sexual encounter that I had
with a common friend a couple of months into our relationship. I kept
this info from him and it took 18 months for him to finally get it out
of me and I confessed. Since then nothing I do or say has been
trustworthy to him and he does not know if he can ever establish trust
in me again. I suggested I take a polygraph test. I thought this
would be the best way for me to vindicate myself and show him once and
for all that I was telling the truth. I took the polygraph test and
felt totally at ease. We had to wait 5 days for the results. I was
so sure and righteous that I was going to make my boyfriend eat the
results.

3 questions were asked:

1) During my entire life did I ever have sexual contact with "A"

2) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with anyone besides
your current partner?

3) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with "B"?

The resultant answers were:

1 - Deceptive Response
2 - Truthful Response
3 - Inconclusive Result

I was totally blown away by the results. I have been totally truthful
and honest with my domestic partner since I confessed to him about the
meeting I had over 2 years ago. Since then it has been above board.

We both divorced for one another and it has taken it's toll on both of
us, clearly. Yes, we have seen counsellors and they have suggested
that we are both too filled with guilt to truly enjoy one another.

Read the whole thread here. If you still want to take your spouse to a lie detector test after everything I put together here, you should know the consequences can be severe. Lie detectors are handled by humans. Humans make mistakes. This is not like hiring a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating. With a private eye, they will actually give you VERIFIABLE proof that your spouse either cheated on you, or not. This lie detector test isn't even supported by the scientific community, so in essence you are just putting your relationship on the line based on what the person behind the lie detector is saying.

If you STILL insist on taking a lie detector test, here are some tips :

1. Do NOT tell the lie detector operator anything about yourselves so it won't let it affect his judgment on the current situation and questions.Both of you should take the test and get asked similar questions. Try to not let the operator pick up hints on why you are having the test, like who cheated on who. Don't mention anything, just hand over the questions you want asked.
2. Do NOT use a cheap portable lie detector, or online lie detector test. Voice lie detector tests, like the ones you see on TV, are also another gimmick with no science backing it up.
3. Do NOT take the results seriously.
4. Take multiple lie detector tests and compare results. Not saying this will make it more accurate, at least with multiple results you KNOW for a fact they are inconsistent.
5. Both of you should take the test twice, with different lie detector examiners each time you take it to compare the results.

The cost and value of this test is not worth the time nor money you will have to invest. If you want professional help in catching a cheating spouse, go for the PI. If you want professional help getting over your frustrations and guilt, take a couples retreat or go to a marriage counselor.

Gay Couple : Cheating Spouse

Reader Email :
-----
Kris,
I have read your site about cheating husbands, and I think I may have
a problem with my own husband. We are in a same sex marriage,
and I think that my husband is secretly straight, or at least is turning
straight again. The other day he and his best friend (a girl) went out
shopping, how stereotypical right? I know. They cam back almost
midnight and I asked him why he was not responding to my text msgs.

He got angry and told me I was too possessive of him, and I did not
own him. I told him we are married and he said : "so what? I was
with M****". I aksed him what he was doing and he said they went
shopping, then went out to see her new apartment.

Normally this would not make me jealous, because he IS afterall gay.
But I've noticed them growing closer and closer together. M****
always looks at him like she wants to rip his shirt off. I've known for
yeaaaars that this ***** has a crush on my husband, but I tolerate
her presence because they've known each other since grade school
and he came out the closet and she stood by him. I think they may
have gone to prom night together.

What do you suggest I do? I've been noticing them more and more
together and suspect my gay husband is no longer gay.

B
-----

B, I do not really know what the difference is when trying to catch a cheating spouse, gay or straight. Our catch a cheating spouse guide should help you no matter if you are gay or straight.

Here's a simple solution (based on the info you gave), why not volunteer to accompany BOTH of them while they go out for shopping trips? If they are that close together, you will eventually want to become her friend anyway.

This is like a straight guy going out with his wife, and a girlfriend of his wife. There's nothing wrong with that and you should never feel like you are the third wheel, since you are his spouse.

If you suspect lying, then I would consider installing a GPS car tracker on a car you own that he uses, so at least  you know whether or not they are really going shopping, if for some reason you can't accompany them.

I'm also wondering, have you tried talking to the girl? It seems like you are bitter/don't like her. Why do you call her a b****? There's too many unknowns for me to give anything else other than point you to the cheating spouse guide.