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Cheating Spouse Archive Search

Signs of a cheating husband

Signs that may indicate you have a cheating husband

Why do men cheat? First you'll have to understand that men cheat on women because men are built or programed like that, don't immediately think that it is your fault that they cheat on you, or you have become an unattractive or undesirable wife or girlfriend (or even boyfriend, if you're in a gay relationship). A cheating husband, I think it's safe to say almost all men, would willingly have sexual intercourse with another woman just because the woman wants to have sex with them, or because they find that woman sexually attractive.

Men were like this since the stone age, and next to nothing has changed (at least they don't drag women by the hair anymore). Men just want to spread their seed. Take a male spider for example, they will risk everything just to spread their seed and ensure their genes continue, no matter what the cost to them is. Most cheating husbands are like that, they forget about their families, their wives, their girlfriends, and cheat with someone they find attractive, or maybe not even attractive... just another person willing to have intercourse with them!

Here are some of the signs you should watch out for when you start learning and researching on how to catch a cheating husband. Be suspicious if you find any of these key signs.
  • The first thing that you will probably notice is, and this applies to both sexes, is that your husband starts caring more about his physical appearance. Examples of this are he suddenly joins a gym, buys new clothes, improvement in personal hygiene, loses a lot of weight, changes hair style, etc. Be worried that you might have a cheating husband if you notice any of these signs come out of nowhere.
  • Lack of quality time. You don't cuddle anymore. You stop talking about random things that used to make you laugh and smile. No more pillow talk. He shows no interest in you when at home. He spends his free time elsewhere with friends you don't know. Definitely one of the worst signs that you have a cheating husband
  • Change of work schedule. If your husband suddenly has a change in schedule and uses it as a reason to stay away from home, or go out of town he maybe cheating on you.
  • Phone calls. If you suspect your husband is cheating, you may notice he puts down the phone whenever you are near or just arrived home. He doesn't tell you who he is talking to and may even get irritated if you continue to prod.
  • Vague answers. This is mostly how he answers to everything related to where he is going, what he is going to do, who he is going to be with. Another dead giveaway of a cheating husband, secrecy.
  • He asks your schedule or whether or not you're going to be busy at a certain time. This may mean he is trying to plan a meeting with the woman he is having an affair with. Be suspicious that you have a cheating husband if he tries to know when or where you're going to be, but doesn't particularly care about anything else. Just what time you're going to be away, and what time you're coming back.
  • He stops bothering you for sex. No man can live without sex for long. If it has been months and months without the slightest hint of sex, and he for some reason isn't asking for it, you HAVE to be suspicious and start researching more on how to catch a cheating husband. Where else will he get sex if he doesn't get it from you?
  • Tired every time he gets home. Unless your husband is a construction worker, or anything that involves being physically active, he should not be coming home drained. Not a definite sign that you have a cheating husband, but if he usually doesn't come home tired, why the sudden change?
  • Over dressed. When was the last time you saw your husband dress out of his shorts and tee to go "hang out with the guys"? He maybe lying right to your face, and is heading straight to the woman he is cheating on you with. This is common for those cheating husbands that want to experience more thrill.
  • Gets defensive, sarcastic, and irritable when you try to uncover what they have been doing all day. This is usually a way for them to justify what they are doing "working hard" or "spending my free time with the guys" aka cheating on you with another woman (or man).
  • If they do ask you for sex, it feels different. Like he's testing out something new on you. You may or may not enjoy it, but if he has never done anything like that in bed with you before, it could be because of the new experiences he has been having. Again another no definite sign, but worth watching out for.
  • Reluctant to go near you, hug you, or give you a kiss when he gets home from work. If your husband heads straight for the bathroom for a shower, then you might have a cheating husband.
  • When YOU want to make love, he usually gives excuses to avoid it, and when you do make love, he's not very active, or seems like he's not even enjoying your company.
  • You being on this website researching on how to catch a cheating husband is one of the signs that you may have a cheating husband. If you have a hunch that your husband is cheating on you even before researching, then you maybe right. It's the wife or girlfriend that can tell right away if something is wrong.

Here are some possible reasons why you have a cheating husband. These aren't written in stone, some of it may or may not apply to you and your husband. Some of these reasons you may notice, but it won't necessarily mean that is the cause, as some men just can't help it. Remember nothing is absolute, you are still the best judge on whether or not he is up to something.
  • Lack of sex. If your spouse isn't being sexually satisfied, then he will most likely become a cheating husband in time. You may be having sex once a month or every week, but this would probably not be enough for most husbands that choose to cheat. They may have some sexual fantasies that they don't want to share with you, and by cheating they get to live their fantasies and satisfy their sexual urges. Some fantasies may actually be to CHEAT on you. Physical attraction to another woman while being unsatisfied with his current sexual activities with you is one of the main causes of infidelity. Sometimes cheating husbands, even when they have sex on a regular basis, need to fulfill their fantasies. When the wife ignores, puts down, or even laugh at those fantasies, this is where the thought of another woman fulfilling his urges start.
  • Tired of current lifestyle. Sex becomes routine, zero anticipation from both parties, boring, and feels like something you need to do,a chore, not something you look forward to doing. This causes husbands to cheat and find something more exciting, especially if the wife refuses to do anything out of the ordinary. Most husbands will get turned on by the thrill of cheating and doing things behind your back.
  • Loss of attraction. One of the most common reasons, your husband may not find you attractive and sexually arousing anymore. He may even hint that you should go to the gym or try a new diet he heard about from his friend. Loss of attraction can lead to lack of sex, and not alot of men can live without that.
  • Nagging wife. When a wife keeps nagging her husband, this usually leads to him ignoring her, not taking her seriously, and eventually wanting to find someone else to please him sexually. Since he ignores his wife, he won't care that he is cheating on her. He may even do this just to spite you.
  • Falling out of love. This usually happens after a couple has been together for so long, they start caring less and less on how to please each other, find more interest in friends, sex no longer brings excitement, etc. If this is mutual, then you have no problems. But since you're here reading about how to catch a cheating husband, then maybe you still want to fix your relationship...or sue his ass off.
These are just some reasons and signs he is cheating, which should help you in catching him in the act of cheating. Again, just because some of the signs are present, or some of the reasons why your husband would cheat on you is there, it does not necessarily mean that you have a cheating husband. All relationships have their good times and bad times, whether your relationship holds together depends on you and your husband.Don't let these cheating husbands signs be the final decision on whether or not you end your relationship, gather evidence first before you decide.

No matter what you do or how hard you try to prevent your husband from cheating, it won't be your fault when he does cheat on you if you have done everything you can to prevent it from happening.

If you are in a situation like this, I know it's hard to think about how to catch him cheating, but to get your peace of mind back, to be able to go on with your life and start a new relationship, you'll eventually have to confront your husband, or wait for him to confess or maybe even leave you if things get really really worse. It is not uncommon to find out you have a husband leading a secret life. This situation will change your life, and will eventually make you stronger emotionally.

Good luck, and feel free to send me an email with any questions you may have that are unanswered. You could also leave a comment (anonymously), I reply faster to comments than I do emails. Please read the reminder above when leaving comments, do not include your either your personal info or your ex/husband's info. Spreading their information online will not change anything, it just makes you a meaner person.

Click on this if you were looking for Signs of a cheating wife.
Update : Click here to view Signs of A Cheating Husband
January 2011 Update : Before you ask about cellphone spies and GPS trackers please take the time and check out the following links.

My guide on selecting a cellphone spy software that works with your husband/wife's phone.

And the follow up to that post where I actually recommend a cellphone spy that has both SMS tracking and GPS tracking.


Anonymous said...

Need some advice. within 2 months of a new job, new position, new location my 14 year marriage is in DEEP trouble. I have intercepted the text messages from the other woman, confronted him, he denys anything other than having coffee with a friend. He is gone all week with this new job, every excuse under the sun why we all cant move to the location wheres his new job is at. Found presents, he denys its from her. Saids I am making it everything I have presented to him up in my head. I have never actually seen them rolling around together, but the other woman has admitted to me.how do I stop it? How do i compete for my marriage or should I just call it quits?

Blogger said...

"I have never actually seen them rolling around together, but the other woman has admitted to me."

Have a talk with both of them. Don't let him treat you like that, even the other person he is cheating with has the courtesy to tell you the truth. I would normally assume that this other person is lying and you should trust your spouse, but after the other things you have said and the gifts you have found I think he is having an affair. Talk to them both, straighten things out.

Like what I have said on here, you have to come to come to an understanding on what you both want to happen. Compromise, if he refuses too then he is not worth your time. Also try and find out WHY he is having an affair, so you can work on it from there.

"How do i compete for my marriage or should I just call it quits?"

You don't. You don't ever have to compete for your spouse's love and loyalty. If he is making you compete for it with another woman, leave him. You're better off with someone who won't lie and cheat on you.

A bit blunt, but I don't like being delusional, I was delusional for a long time before I ever acted on my husband who was cheating on me. I actually believe his lies.

Anonymous said...

Don't talk to him. Leave him. Honestly if there is that much evidence and yet he is still denying it, he has issues. You just need to let it go. That marriage is non existent at this point.

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate.....I think my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me with someone. I talk to him about and he flat out denies it everytime. He says he has shows, and doesn't want me to come to any of them.....and when he goes to these shows he stays gone for one and two days......Super protective over his cellphone like he got something to hide. Finding condoms in his clothes....But tells me that he wants to be with me. Whenever his man friend comes around he leave and come back really late.....But tells me yesterday why are you all dressed up? The nerve of this a$$@#$$. Im gorgeous .......but he stays in the mirror longer than me. I just want to catch him so I can bust him out with solid proof and dump him. Please help.

Blogger said...

Try one of the cellphone spies or keylogger guides found on this blog.

If he is over protective of his cellphone, then yes, high chance he is hiding something, especially if YOU think there is something wrong.

Good luck and check out the comments section, people have asked/shared their experiences with cellphone spies and keyloggers.

Anonymous said...

i know he's hiding something..................just cant catch him. I want to catch him so i can embarass this a%5%%@@ and dump him in front of everyone and make him feel humiliated. he has a metro pcs phone and it doesnt have a sim card so i dont know how to hack into it if he always has it on his persons all the time. and with a lock on it.someone please help me...............i have a few numbers that he has been calling from my cellphone but he blocks out my number so it doesnt show up on their callerid.

Blogger said...

Check out the Cellphone spies page. Don't forget to read the comments regarding smart phones and how to track them.

Anonymous said...

my mom found my dad's private profile that showed him with a girl who's only a few years older than i am. and it's not a fling, the pics show them together for 2 years now. we have to confront him when he comes back...how should we do this? i was thinkin after we pick him up from the airport, we could eat out, confront him in the restaurant in case his temper flares (my dad isn't a violent man, but then again MY DAD wouldn't cheat on my mom and cause her and my family so much grief). i honestly want to kick him out for a little bit, i don't want him trying to sleep with my mom when we all know what he's done.who he's done. can anyone give their two cents on how to handle this?

Blogger said...

I would stay out of it and let your mom and dad have some alone time to talk. And maybe don't cause a scene and do the confrontation in a public place. I'm sure your mom would want to fix their problems, doing it in a public place might make him think you're trying to shame him or he might just leave you guys there. Also it would be tougher for something, when put on the spot, to come clean.

I think it would be best for 1 on 1 time, unless you know something bad may go wrong (physically).

Anonymous said...

my boyfriend of 10 years is cheating on me with a girl at work. I read his text and found out. He wants to work it out, but I don't believe him. He says they like each other but nothing has happened and they just met once and talked. I feel he is lying. We have 2 kids and feel if I stay I will go nuts tracking him down at work and spying, because now he'll just delete his text before I see them. How do you deal with a work relationship?

Blogger said...

Like I always say, you have to compromise and come to an agreement about what he should and should not do with the girl.

What would you your boyfriend to do for you to trust him vs how can you make up for what was missing that made him cheat on you.

If you really can't trust him, check the page found on this site about sim card readers and cell phone spies that allow you to view hidden(deleted from inbox) messages. Though I would only recommend you spend the extra $30+ bucks if you really really think he is still lying to you after you have confronted your cheating boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

My Husband works with a women who is very oviously attracted to him, she calls him while at work they take breaks together, and everyone comments to me about it, I have not found any tell tale signs to say any indiscretions have occured, when I bring up the subject, of course he gets upset and states just friends, blah, blah, blah, he definately does not want to talk about how it makes me feel, I also work at this company, when I go to break, if they get there first, I have to sit with them!, like we are all great friends! I know that she has alterior motives. I have to add that my husband id a Very outgoing, happy, friendly person who likes being "the shoulder to cry on, for all these poor women who are down on their luck. We have been together 30 years, no problems in the bedroom, and we are both very attractive people, the other women is about 15 years our junior, and my husband turns 50 this year. Help!

Blogger said...

Well if you haven't seen any cheating signs, and your husband as you say is "Very outgoing, happy, friendly person who likes being the shoulder to cry on" type, then you really have nothing to worry about. Just tell him it makes you jealous the amount of time he spends with her.

But I really don't see anything that seriously wrong,aside from making you jealous, since they ARE at work and it's difficult to create boundaries there. It would be a different story if he actually made time for her outside work, and went out with her on dates. If he's never given you reason to not trust him, I don't think you should start now because of this one clingy person.

A talk about jealousy would help, but don't let it make you paranoid that he's going to cheat on you or something. (this is purely based on the fact that you said he was a nice outgoing helpful person)

Anonymous said...

I am asking for advice on this one. My husband works away from home a lot, and seems to have deloped a "friendship" with another woman who is associated with his firm. She has had legitimate business occasion to travel to his job site on several occasions. I have found little gifts with notes attached, nothing too personal- one was a coffee card with a note that said, "because I can't always be there in the office for coffee" and another was left on his desk, a cooking with beer-barbeque recipe book with a note that said, "If you ever make it home, you can try barbequing with beer. Everything is better with beer."

My husband has mentioned this woman to me several times, and he seems to know quite a bit about her, even her age, her husband's name and nature of business, and the age of her child, which are all red flags for me. He denies any relationship with her. She lives nine hours away from us.

My husband just told me he has to make an emergency business trip to where his head office is located, which is the same city she lives in. He initially said he would fly in and out the same day, but now he is staying for two nights. He says the meetings with his company may be spread over two days, but I wonder if he is planning on hooking up with her.

I have been tempted to have a PI spy on him while he is there. Should I or shouldn't I? Is it very likely that a PI can do this without giving away his presence? I would love to know for sure if there is something going on, but I would not want a clumsy PI to be seen doing his work.

Blogger said...

I don't think a private investigator would be necessary. They are REAALLLYY expensive, and if you don't have anything on him, other than gifts with notes (that aren't really personal/sexual or anything like that). I'd suggest a key monitor/keylogger on his laptop or a simcard reader for his cellphone would be a cheaper alternative.

I'd advice the PI though if his head office really wasn't there, or it happens alot more often after this one time. Maybe talk to him about their relationship? Might be a little flirting going on but I don't think your husband is cheating just with those notes.

Anonymous said...

Me again; I have talked to him about their relationship, he says it's just business, and another time he said they are just friends.

There have been emails that made me wonder too. Ones from her that read, "Can we talk tonight?" and "I haven't been able to reach you, Are you allright?" I honestly think she is pursuing him; she even mentions discussing things they talked about in the meetings they had in "our office" and she put it in quotations just like that. Makes me wonder if "our office" is code for the bedroom. (He doesn't know I read the emails)

He is now talking about going there once a month to do business that could easily be delegated to someone else.

Any way, I will soon know. He is there now and I did go ahead with the PI.

Blogger said...

Ask him why he can't delegate it to someone else then? Maybe there's a good reason.

Although the "our office" does make it seem something is going on, it could also be something as silly as just slacking off with him at a coffee shop instead of in the office.

It's hard to tell because I don't know them both personally like you do, but if you really really do feel that something fishy is going on, you are probably right.

Private investigators are the last thing I'd recommend only because of the cost, and the readily available GPS/sim card reader/keyloggers that are extremely cheap.

Hope everything goes well for you and let us know how things turn out.

Anonymous said...

The PI cost three grand, but it gave me peace of mind - he didn't meet up with her at all. She did send him two emails asking him to leave his meetings and hook up with her, but he didn't do it. He didn't even reply to the emails. If I had not had him followed, I never would have believed that he didn't meet up with her after reading her emails asking him to break away from his meetings.

She sent him a Christmas gift with a stupid little rhyme in the card that says she wanted him near, and that he was a treasure in their lives, and signed it with her husband's and child's name as well as hers. He doesn't even know her family,so that was kind of odd.

My husband tells me she is a wing nut and that she probably sent the same rhyme to every guy in the office. He actually shredded the card because it made me upset.

Blogger said...

Thank you for sharing that here, and I hope you feel better. Too bad I couldn't convince you to use a cheaper method (GPS on his cell), but I'm sure it was well worth it knowing he just ignored her and it was nothing!

You're lucky your husband loves you and you don't need to go through what most of the readers here have gone through (including me).

Glad everything went well, and if you would like to recommend the PI you used feel free to post their name here. It might help someone, not alot of people write reviews about private investigators.

Anonymous said...

My husband picked me up from work, last week, it was quite warm and he had shorts on, we went for a drink and I noticed his knees were scraped, I commented and asked how he had done this, to this he went very red and said he didn't know, he had booked a weekend away for us the following day, so I broached the subject again, he said his knees weren't scraped - then he said yet again he didn't know how this had happened, I told him I was worried about our relationship and he told me he hadn't done anything wrong and swore on it, then he said if I didn't trust him then we have nothing.....how can you scrape your knees badly and not know how you did it? I also noticed that when we got home he had washed his shirt and underpants?????

Blogger said...

I don't know what to say about the scraped knee, but washing his underpants is very suspicious behavior. Have you noticed any other signs of cheating? Overtime excuse? Unexplained missing time?

Have you done any snooping on the computer? You will usually find a lot of tell tale signs of cheating by simply allowing your internet browser to store history.

Here's how to do that on your computer if you're using firefox browser.

Got no one who'll listen to your problems? Or we can email. I may not always be prompt but I ALWAYS reply. Shoot an email to Kris (catchacheateradmin at gmail dot com).

P.S. Commenting is the fastest way to get a reply from us, or other readers. Anonymous commenting is enabled.