Bait Your Cheating Spouse

Another way to catch your spouse cheating is by baiting them into an affair. How does this work? We will do this on the internet, because a lot of cheaters start their affairs on the internet before actually meeting up, it's the world we live in now; even affairs are digital.

First you have to know which social site your spouse spends their time in, a social site is something like facebook, myspace, orkut, etc. Another way is by finding out which chatrooms they go to, or webcam chats, such as stickam, omegle, or chat roulette. The last 2, omegle or chat roulette, are more difficult to work with because it is random, so you can't bait your spouse unless you happen to meet each other, which is highly unlikely.

Once you know which social site they frequent, join that site and create a fake profile to bait your spouse with. Who better than you to create someone your spouse will be attracted to. Make sure not to overdo it though, don't use celebrity pictures, or pictures of famous people as your profile pic. Set your status as single, looking for *sex of your spouse*, then find them on their social site.

When you find them, send them a personal message, throw them a compliment (feed their ego) and tell them you are looking to make new friends and magically you are in a nearby area. If they are on chatrooms, join that chat room and start a conversation, ask to trade pictures then throw them a compliment or two and say you want to trade emails. This is one of the reasons this method works best, you can uncover their secret emails.

If your spouse is cheating on you, then you can expect a positive response to this. Start talking to them on a regular basis, ask them about their life and what they enjoy doing. Notice if they mention anything related to their family or spouse; if they do mention their family or spouse, ask them about their spouse (you). Try to start an emotional affair with your spouse and take it as far as you can go until they are actually willing to meetup with you.

Keep prodding about their spouse(you) and ask them if it's okay that you are talking with them, say things like "won't your spouse get mad that we talk alot?", "will your spouse get jealous if you tell him/her about me?", see how they react. A cheater will always keep it secret and respond with "she doesn't need to know" or "it's okay, no one's going to tell". you should take that as a hint to move on and slowly steer the conversations into something a little more sexual. This is when you will know that your spouse is a cheater.

Try and bait them into telling you about their cheating stories by making up your own story. If they are really cheating on you, they will have a lot to share, just make sure you don't make it sound like you regret it; make it seem like you loved cheating on your wife or husband, and imply that you are looking to do it again. This will cause the cheater to be interested in you even more.

Here's the turning point, you can either continue on with baiting stories out of them to collect evidence of infidelity, OR you can take it a step further by involving a friend. If you have a willing friend, it's best to start this whole baiting process with them, so they know the whole story of your fake persona. When it gets far enough that you are in an emotional affair with your spouse, ask them if they would be willing to have a phone conversation with you.

Now this is why we love this method best, it's a FREE way to catch your spouse cheating, you get your spouse to confess their cheating stories to you, AND if you're really lucky, like the secret emails you will have found out about their secret cell phones. A lot of people discover secret cell phones of their spouses this way.

Make your friend talk to them on the phone or cell phone a few times until they get comfortable enough that they initiate the sexual talk. If this is not proof enough that your husband or wife is cheating, ask your friend to request a meet up in a nearby hotel.

If they agree, go to that hotel yourself and do your confrontation there. This is also helpful if you have kids at home, they shouldn't be seeing their parents fight about an affair.

How To Cheat On Your Wife

No, this is not an April fools joke. This article will be about how to cheat on your wife. I'm writing this so wives can see the common ways a husband can cheat on their wives, and be able to catch them doing it. I don't promote cheating on your wife, this is purely to educate people on ways their husbands can cheat on them and how they cover their tracks! If you are easily offended, please don't read this guide.

My own husband helped me write this, his ex-wife used something similar to method 1.

How To Cheat On Your Wife

Cheat Method 1 : Dating sites


Join a dating site specifically for married people looking to have an affair. Such sites are ashleymadison.com, or marriedsecrets.com.(remember to delete you internet browsing history after surfing those sites). After joining, simply start looking for people you are interested in having an affair with; most of the members in these dating sites are other disloyal people such as yourself, or swingers.


How to avoid getting caught cheating :  Keyloggers are your downfall.

Unless your spouse is tech savvy, they most probably have the internet browsing history turned off or don't even know how to use it. If so, no problem; they won't be able to see you are visiting sites that promote cheating. If your wife is tech savvy, you'll have to clear the internet browsing history by going to your browser settings. Here's how to do that :

Firefox and internet explorer browsers will have their internet browsing history saved at the history page, accessible by pressing CTRL + SHIFT + H.

For Google Chrome browsers it's just CTRL + H.

Check the back of your computer, take a look at the socket where your keyboard is connected to. Is there anything suspicious looking? If there is, it is most probably a hardware based keylogger that your wife has installed because she's observed the typical signs of a cheating spouse from you.

If you are on a laptop, I can't give you an exact way to detect a keylogger because not all anti virus and malware detectors will pickup on custom made software keyloggers. You WILL get caught cheating if your spouse has installed one of these. To prevent any software based keyloggers from recording your conversations and logging your keystrokes, set up your computer or laptop to make sure that your account is the only administrator account. Meaning you need your account to be the only one that can directly install softwares. If your spouse wants to install anything, tell them you'll do it for them.

Also make sure to do the hardware sweep before you start using your home computer to access cheating related sites. Even if you find the hardware keylogger, the data has already been saved. If your wife finds her keylogger missing then it's obvious that you got rid of it to protect your affair.

Solution : Anti spyware software, check the back of your computer (before using it to cheat) for hardware keyloggers, delete internet browsing history, and make your account on the computer is the only one able to install any type of software.

Ugh, just typing that out made me shiver. But we move on to the next method these slimy cheaters use.


Cheat Method 2 : Facebook and other social sites

Create a new profile on facebook/myspace or any other social site that you prefer. List yourself as single and start looking for women to talk to. This is very common, and most older women have no problems chatting with guys online, or even meeting them. Make sure to keep your status as single. Any decent woman will not tolerate you hitting on them, or any kind of sexual talk if they know you are married.


How To Avoid Getting Caught : Don't Get Baited


Cheating on facebook isn't something your spouse will expect. Most wives won't find anything wrong with you browsing facebook, unless you are spending an exceptionally long time on there and they catch you PMing or chatting with women. Just avoid letting them see your facebook screen when they are in the room and everything should be fine, but if you suspect a keylogger than apply method 1's way to not get caught.

If you are sure that your wife is on to your affairs or disloyal behaviors on facebook, do NOT fall for the old baiting trick. If a somewhat attractive person sends you a personal message on facebook saying they are interested in you, ignore them. That is most likely your wife with her bait profile.  Another thing to watch out for is if your wife asked one of her friend's to bait you for her, this can lead as far as phone conversations and actual meetups. Except you won't see them in the hotel room, you'll see an angry wife.

Additional precautions should be taken if your wife knows your email and social site passwords. Create a new email account to use with the same facebook profile.

Solution : Always start the conversation unless you know the person you are talking to is a real person, and not a fake persona created by your wife or one of her friends. And use method 1's solution if you suspect keyloggers.


Cheat Method 3 : An Interested Co-worker Or Cheat Partner

If you already have a willing cheat partner in your office or someone you met online, you should only meet up with them during the middle of the week; save your sick days for this reason alone and be home ON TIME. Doing it on a typical weekend will give your spouse reason to worry, because the overtime excuse is lame and verifiable.

You could of course use the overtime excuse if you are getting a bonus for that month and your wife will never find out how you got that bonus. The paycheck never lies, so use this to your advantage.


How To Not Get Caught Cheating : GPS data, it never lies.

Come home on time! If your spouse already thinks you are cheating, coming home late will only make her more paranoid. Once your spouse suspects you enough that they are in the phase of just gathering proof to catch you cheating, they will start installing keyloggers on your computers, or GPS car trackers.

You will get caught if your spouse checks your car's mileage daily. To avoid getting caught if they record your mileage, leave your car parked at the office area. Find somewhere near that you can safely leave your car and then go on and commute or ask your new partner to pick you up.

Unfortunately for husbands who think they are being tracked with GPS, you will need to spend money on having a mechanic scan your car for the GPS device. You could also try yourself, but without their tools you won't find it easily. Places to check are inside the glovebox, somewhere taped underneath the dashboard, inside your car door, in the trunk, underneath the car itself or somewhere stuck in the aphulstery.

Solution : Get a mechanic to scan your car for GPS trackers, save your sick days for the middle of the week, park near your office and have your cheat partner pick you up, and don't use the overtime excuse without it reflecting on your paycheck.

Infidelity, What Does It Mean To You?

Merriam-Webster.com defines infidelity as :

a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty 
b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it

Now, from the recent flames we've received in the comments section (not posted of course), people keep trying to justify their actions as "just for fun" and call us "you're a ****** psychotic paranoid ****".

The classic definition of infidelity is when a man or woman cheats on their spouse, and has a physical affair with them. To most of these flamers commenting, the infidelity meaning they are trying to project is just this "if I didn't touch another person, it's not cheating" well, in my opinion, and the majority of loyal spouses' opinions, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

If there were any sort of reliable infidelity statistic, I would bet you everything I owned that most people would declare emotional affairs as infidelity. Internet affairs, sexting affairs, and other non-physical affairs as infidelity as well. A maritalaffair need not require physical intimacy. Just as merriam-webster dictionary defines it, "unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty" or "marital unfaithfulness", in no part was there any mention of physical intimacy.

My definition of infidelity is when a married person betrays the trust given to them by their spouse, or has deep emotional intimacy with someone else surpassing the level of intimacy they have with their spouse. It's simple, if you are hiding an intimate relationship with someone else from your spouse, whatever that reason may be, it's infidelity.

"Intimate relationship" means something you wouldn't do or talk about with someone who is "just a friend". You know you are having an affair with someone emotionally if you are telling them things you would normally only tell your spouse. When you start seeing this new person as your "problem solver" or "go to guy", or whenever you think about them all you can think is how much better they are than your spouse. If they reciprocate your intimacy, you are having an affair. It does not matter if this person is your neighbor, or some girl you met online from halfway around the world, it's still an emotional affair.

When you try and pass of sexting as "just for fun", it is a huge slap in the face to your spouse and your marriage. Sexting IS cheating no matter what angle you look at it from. As long as it's an intimate connection to another human being that is not your spouse, it's cheating. Same goes for webcam chats, "cheat forums" or other groups that promote adultery.

This may come as a shock to most people, but the people who are consistently posting rude comments based on our articles pertaining to emotional affairs and "non physical cheating" are mostly female. How do I know they're females? Because they keep complaining about their husbands who have physically cheated on them. Surviving infidelity is tough, I know I lost my first husband too (highschool sweetheart), but the way you should react is to move on with your life and GET A DIVORCE. Do you really think staying with your husband and CHEATING on them to even the score will make any significance in your relationship? The childish notion of "he did it first" will just be a huge time waster for both of you. Instead of moving forward and building new, meaningful relationships, you choose to skew the definition of infidelity and "give them a taste of their own medicine".

In the article "Do Men Cheat More Than Women" we discussed the issue of female affairs being equal to their male counterparts. And I guess most people who read this blog are women (because of the URL and our earlier articles I'm assuming), and think that we are completely biased towards them. Guess what ladies, I actually met my husband through an infedelity support group, and yes his ex-wife had an emotional affair that turned physical and eventually ruined their marriage. I really wish there was a reliable infidelity statistic so all these women who have been cheated on and decide to "cheat back" would stop playing the victim role all the time.

The truth is most female affairs are the ones that are "non physical". Female affairs are very emotional, and usually start from texting, and internet chat rooms. Just google "infidelity statistics" or "female emotional affair statistics" and do your own research, although there aren't much statistics available you will see a lot of the same things but from the men's point of view. Women ARE better at having affairs because most female affairs are purely emotional (more talking over the phone, or internet etc) vs men, who are more on the physical affairs.

What is worse, physical or emotional affairs? That is subjective, but to me they are the same thing, infidelity. What is the meaning of infidelity to you?

Should You Spy On A Cheating Spouse?

Should you spy on your spouse if you suspect cheating?

Some people have a difficult time even thinking of spying on their husband or wife. Is it wrong to spy or attempt to spy on them? I think it's subjective. If you have noticed your spouse is showing the common cheating signs, then yes, go right ahead. Your spouse being secretive and acting like they are hiding something important from you definitely gives you right to snoop on them. If they aren't displaying cheating signs, then there would be no point in spying on them, is there? Also I am a strong believer in no secrets between married couples. If you and your spouse agree with that, then it's very obvious something is wrong when they start keeping information from you.

People keep emailing the same things, "I want to spy on my boyfriend, how do I do X". I hope you fully explore the blog before heading straight to the contact page or comment form. I listed all the relevant information on the sidebar. Please also do your own research on state laws regarding spying on cheating husbands/wives and cheating spouse spyware(that is listed here). I will not give you legal advice, I am not a lawyer. All I know is if you own something, you can freely attach a GPS car tracker to it, or a cell phone spy. I don't think there's a law against protecting your own property. I do not wish to be responsible for people installing spyware on their neighbors cars, or co-workers' cellphones so please do your own research or look at the privacy policies at the corresponding sites that I link out to before buying any type of device or software that monitors anything.

If you just need reassurance that you're not an evil person for trying to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it to make sure your relationship is not in danger, or is it for selfish, baseless jealousy?

Besides the ways to spy on a spouse already described in this blog (check the sidebar), here are a few more ways to "spy" on a spouse that does not involve gadgets or private eyes. It's not really spying in the sense that we are monitoring their conversations, spying in the sense that we are keeping ourselves informed.

Free Ways To Spy On A Spouse

1. If you and your spouse leave the house together for work, be the one to fix the bed. Fold your sheets in a different way that you're used to, so if they come back home and mess around in the bed, you'll know it. Not necessarily going to tell you that they were with someone, but it will be an effective way of "spying", because you can bait them to check if they were home. You can also leave small things on the bed, couches or tables that you can look for when you get back home.

2. Get a friend your spouse has never seen, or does not know they are your friend, and ask them to hit on or flirt with your spouse. This is extremely effective if you have a willing friend. Ask them to take it as far as your spouse seems willing to go. Basically, ask them to try and have an affair with your spouse. You can then bait your spouse with questions like "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "Did you talk to anyone?", and you can be guaranteed that they won't be able to lie their way out of this one. Related article for you is "Bait Your Cheating Spouse"

3.The passenger car seat is another effective tool we can use. If you want to spy on your husband, set the passenger car seat all the way to the back, so if a woman rides in the passenger side they will have to adjust it a little. Do the opposite if you want to spy on your wife. Simple, not very effective since it's so easy to make an excuse for it, but if the car seat keeps adjusting, they won't be able to keep using the same excuse. Won't be effective at all if your spouse car pools with other people.

4. Like what I recommend on the cheating spouse guide, start a blog (it's free) and keep daily, weekly, and monthly records of your spouse's mileage. If you don't have spare cash for a GPS car tracker, this should be good enough. Of course they can make excuses, but if the amount of miles spikes up real high, you will be informed. Not a very good replacement to using a GPS car tracker, but better than baseless accusations.

5. Do the exact same thing for their monthly spending. Record the data and try and ask your spouse what they spent their money on. Most likely gas and food, so you can compute the costs and eventually notice anomalies in their monthly budget. Look for the typical gifts you buy for someone when dating, flowers, chocolates, or clothing (that's for the opposite sex of your spouse).

6. Email your spouse using an anonymous email address and try and bait them into an intimate conversation. Try and see how they react to your flirting. If your spouse spend a lot of time in forums or chatrooms, chances are they will reply to your anonymous emails.

7. Similar to the above, but use this against spouse's that spend most of their free time on facebook, social sites, or even worse dating sites. I don't know why you need to spy on your spouse if they are spending time on DATING sites. Immediately confront them about it. Dating sites are not something you should spend time on if you are married or are in a serious relationship. What better person than you to create a fake profile to flirt with your spouse, you will know all their weaknesses.

Note : Most paid dating or adult sites will try to mask their websites, to protect your spouse's privacy, but you can google the names or sites that you have never seen before and check what they really are. There's no hiding from google.


Remember, before confronting your spouse make sure you have undeniable evidence of what you are accusing. Excuse proof evidence, or don't confront. If they lie their way out of your questions, they will just think harder next time they cheat and leave no clues.

Take a Cheap Lie Detector Test? Think again.

Something to consider when you have run out of options on proving the innocence of your spouse. If you spouse WILLINGLY subjects themselves to a polygraph test, that should make you confident. Although I do not recommend this method, it's still an option for you if there are -cheap- lie detector test services around your area. When I say cheap lie detector, I do not mean the portable types that they sell as gimmicks. I do not believe in the accuracy of the cheap lie detectors nor would I put the fate of your relationship on it.

On that note I also don't believe in regular lie detectors, there are so many ways to beat a lie detector, one could research before taking a lie detector and study up on beating it. There's an old saying, which I have not verified if it's true or not, that taking an aspirin before the test will allow you to beat it. I will have to post a follow up article to this after I have done some research on ways your spouse could beat a lie detector test. I found an amazing site that is completely anti lie detectors. They sound like they are taking it a bit personal, but it's a good read and I suggest browsing their sites completely before you take any tests. Let me save you some time and tell you NOT to take the polygraph test.

Taking a polygraph test costs anywhere between $50-$400. When you find a local service, you better google them and do your due diligence. Check for their records at the bbb as well. I would not trust the cheaper ones(or the regulars ones), unless that is all you have as your option. Ask about the background of the lie detector operator, and what is his actual job. Interview them and ask multiple services and examples of their work. Check if they have any case studies or methods that they can prove their accuracy with. Ask them if it's scientifically proven (and since you did or will do your research before going to one, you'll know whether or not the lie detector operators are LYING to you).

Some reasons you should not trust lie detector tests

"Rule 707 serves the legitimate interest of ensuring that only reliable evidence is introduced. There is simply no consensus that polygraph evidence is reliable: The scientific community and the state and federal courts are extremely polarized on the matter." -http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/96-1133.ZS.html

"When a well-trained examiner uses a polygraph, he or she can detect lying with high accuracy. However, because the examiner's interpretation is subjective and because different people react differently to lying, a polygraph test is not perfect and can be fooled."-http://science.howstuffworks.com/question123.htm

 "Polygraph is more art than science, and unless an admission is obtained, the final determination is frequently what we refer to as a scientific wild-ass guess (SWAG)" -CIA polygrapher -John F. Sullivan

 "...the theory and methods of polygraphic lie detection are not rocket science, indeed, they are not science at all." -Emeritus Professor, David T. Lykken (1928-2006)

 "The so-called 'control' question 'test' polygraph is a technological flight of fancy. It is often used as a psychological rubber hose to induce confessions. Founded on lies, it spreads distrust while posing as the path to truth." -Emeritus Professor, John J. Furedy

If you really can't trust your spouse anymore because they cheated on you, seek marriage counseling or take a couples retreat. A lie detector won't gain that trust back for you. Worse, it may dig you an even deeper hole. See this girl's story attached below about how her spouse got her to confess she cheated on him with a common friend, and could not trust her again. Then they took a lie detector test in an attempt to mend that trust. She volunteered to take it because she said she was so confident she would make him eat the report! She failed the cheap($50 indicated on the post) lie detector test and they got divorced.

I took a lie detector test.My domestic partner and I have had some
issues and it came out that I lied about a sexual encounter that I had
with a common friend a couple of months into our relationship. I kept
this info from him and it took 18 months for him to finally get it out
of me and I confessed. Since then nothing I do or say has been
trustworthy to him and he does not know if he can ever establish trust
in me again. I suggested I take a polygraph test. I thought this
would be the best way for me to vindicate myself and show him once and
for all that I was telling the truth. I took the polygraph test and
felt totally at ease. We had to wait 5 days for the results. I was
so sure and righteous that I was going to make my boyfriend eat the
results.

3 questions were asked:

1) During my entire life did I ever have sexual contact with "A"

2) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with anyone besides
your current partner?

3) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with "B"?

The resultant answers were:

1 - Deceptive Response
2 - Truthful Response
3 - Inconclusive Result

I was totally blown away by the results. I have been totally truthful
and honest with my domestic partner since I confessed to him about the
meeting I had over 2 years ago. Since then it has been above board.

We both divorced for one another and it has taken it's toll on both of
us, clearly. Yes, we have seen counsellors and they have suggested
that we are both too filled with guilt to truly enjoy one another.

Read the whole thread here. If you still want to take your spouse to a lie detector test after everything I put together here, you should know the consequences can be severe. Lie detectors are handled by humans. Humans make mistakes. This is not like hiring a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating. With a private eye, they will actually give you VERIFIABLE proof that your spouse either cheated on you, or not. This lie detector test isn't even supported by the scientific community, so in essence you are just putting your relationship on the line based on what the person behind the lie detector is saying.

If you STILL insist on taking a lie detector test, here are some tips :

1. Do NOT tell the lie detector operator anything about yourselves so it won't let it affect his judgment on the current situation and questions.Both of you should take the test and get asked similar questions. Try to not let the operator pick up hints on why you are having the test, like who cheated on who. Don't mention anything, just hand over the questions you want asked.
2. Do NOT use a cheap portable lie detector, or online lie detector test. Voice lie detector tests, like the ones you see on TV, are also another gimmick with no science backing it up.
3. Do NOT take the results seriously.
4. Take multiple lie detector tests and compare results. Not saying this will make it more accurate, at least with multiple results you KNOW for a fact they are inconsistent.
5. Both of you should take the test twice, with different lie detector examiners each time you take it to compare the results.

The cost and value of this test is not worth the time nor money you will have to invest. If you want professional help in catching a cheating spouse, go for the PI. If you want professional help getting over your frustrations and guilt, take a couples retreat or go to a marriage counselor.

How do I confront my spouse about internet cheating?

Another reader asks about internet affairs/internet cheating. As previously mentioned, internet cheating could be two things, an emotional affair, or another form of pornography when webcams are involved. Either case, they are both wrong, with emotional affairs being more dangerous than the actual "camming".

You confront a spouse having an emotional affair the same way you would a spouse that's having a regular "real" physical affair. You tell your spouse that he or she is cheating on you, and they have to stop their emotional affair. Are you sure they are in an emotional affair or are they just talking a lot? See the linked article on the difference between friendship and emotional affairs.

About the webcam cheating, most spouses justify this as just another type of porn, but really it can turn into relationship breakers when people start wanting to meet each other once they are comfortable online. The key to stopping this is finding a compromise. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them stop their internet affair/inappropriate activities online, and follow through. If both of you find a compromise, problem solved. If your spouse continues to cheat on you online, you may need to have more talks about your relationship and it's future.

Internet cheating or internet affairs usually start from three things. An online chatroom, a cheating spouse forum (yes, there are forums dedicated for just that, cheating on your spouse), and anonymous cam sites (usually ends up in skype exchanges). A lot of people actually make their living helping unsatisfied husbands/houswives by giving them ways to start an affair, specifically sites like ashleymadison.com. Think of plentyoffish.com, but dedicated to men and women who are willing to cheat and are actively seeking cheating partners. If you see this website in your internet browsing history, immediately confront your spouse.

Don't be afraid to put your foot down and tell them that you will end your relationship if they don't stop their emotional/internet affairs. And you really should not put up with being emotionally abused by a cheating spouse. If they don't want to compromise, set an appointment for marriage counseling and get a professional to help you. If your spouse still won't take marriage counseling seriously, they aren't taking you and your relationship seriously. Getting a divorce isn't always something negative, and you may want to consider it if you are living your life in a miserable relationship.

How To Spot An Internet Affair

Here are some signs of a cheating spouse on the internet :

• When your spouse is using the computer or laptop, and you come in the room, they either stop using it, hide their screen, or minimize whatever they were doing.
• After using the computer, your spouse clears the internet browsing history. This should making you wonder why they are hiding what they were doing. I'll post something about how you can check your internet browsing history in another article in case you don't know how. *Update* it's linked below.
• Most people in a long term relationship, or who have been married for a long time, know each other's password. If you've known your spouse's password ever since, but it stopped working when you tried to access their email, or social sites, they may be hiding something.
• You discovered a new email that they never told you about, or a new social site such as a facebook page, even if they already have one.A worse thing, that should probably be met with confrontation, is discovering your spouse joined a dating site.
• Unknown credit card charges start appearing in your bills. Dating sites, or adult sites commonly mask their site names when charging a credit card. They do this to protect the privacy of their members. Ask your spouse about it, then google the exact name you found on the bill to confirm whether or not your spouse is lying.
• Very experienced, and tech savvy cheaters will create a new user account on your computer. They will mostly make their accounts the administrator of the computer, so guest accounts can't check up on their sites or install software keyloggers or any type of spyware to monitor their internet activities. There's usually no solution to this unless you too have access to the administrator account.

Is your husband or wife hiding their internet browsing history? Read this article to learn how to Track your Spouse's Internet Browsing History

If you are miserable in your relationship, I suggest thinking about getting a divorce.

Catching a Cheating Wife Vs Husband

Why would there be a difference between catching a husband cheating, and catching a wife cheating? Mainly because it is more common for the wife to stay at home, and for the husband to work. All methods listed in this site can be used to catch a cheating spouse, or detect an affair, but some methods may be more effective for husbands, and some for wives. You can ignore this article if your wife is not a housewife, and just use the catch a cheating spouse guide.

If you haven't already, you may want to read the page on "signs of a cheating spouse" before continuing. Knowing the signs, and then gathering evidence is what we recommend. Blind accusations will just cause relationship stress (plus make your spouse a better cheater).

Here's a breakdown on the current methods we talk about.

Cellphone Spies - This is equally useful for catching both a wife or a husband. Even if in most relationships the husband is the one who goes out to work, everyone in this day and age has a cellphone. Even my mom, who is in her 60s, has a cellphone. So this method is on the top of the list because it works well for both husbands and wives, is cheap, and available world wide. The only downside to this is if your spouse is not using a personal cellphone, and is provided one by the company they work for. This takes the top spot for catching a cheating spouse, it's like a keylogger for your cellphone bundled up with GPS cellphone tracking.

Keyloggers - This method won't work as much for people who use computers/laptops that are not their own. Work computers for example, are protected by the companies who own them. You most likely are not allowed to install anything, and if you are, it is recorded. Installing any monitoring device on anything you do not own is illegal. So if your husband rarely uses the computer/laptop at home, this won't be as effective as the cellphone spy. If you suspect your wife of cheating on you, and she just stays at home, then this would be a good option to catch her cheating because it is more likely that she uses the computer to talk to other people. This is also as cheap as the cellphone spy, depending on whether or not you opt for the hardware or software version keylogger. Software, be it cellphone spies, or keyloggers, are always cheaper than their hardware counterparts.

Hidden Cameras - Perfect to catch a cheating wife that stays at home and doesn't work out of the house. If you want to know if your spouse gets visits from people while you aren't home, consider using a motion activated hidden camera, so you can set it and forget it for a few days. It only activates when it detects movement, so that saves you a lot of hard drive space. Not as effective for cheating husbands unless he uses your car, and you can find a portable camera to install there. Portable surveillance equipment costs more than regular "plug in" camera equipment. I wouldn't spend more money to get a camera with better resolution. I would recommend the cheapest hidden camera or portable hidden camera you can get, the lower the resolution the better (cause it's cheaper). We aren't looking to make a home movie, we're trying to find out what is happening behind the scenes. Buying multiple lower resolution cameras is better than buying some HD super camera that can zoom in etc.

GPS Car trackers - A lot more useful for cheating spouses that work, or leave the house regularly. These are cheap, you can find some ranging from $30+-$40+, some of the more expensive ones require a monthly subscription though. Not as effective for cheating spouses who do not leave the house. May work for a wife that takes those 5 hour "shopping trips". GPS trackers can be replaced by simply remembering how many miles your spouse drives when they go to work/shop, and checking your mileage. Knowing your spouse's daily routine will save you some cash, but the downside to that is you can't PROVE they are lying. With a GPS tracker, you have solid data to backup your claims. This is also the method which my mother used when my father cheated on her, but it was a cellphone GPS tracker that a service provider had built in. It's original purpose was to help you locate your phone if you lost it, or it got stolen. But I guess it also helped her know that she was being cheated on.

Digital Voice Recorders - Another way that works best against cheating housewives vs spouses that work out of the house. Read the article for some suggested placements of your voice recorders, as well as two product recommendations. I bought two models of the cheaper one so I can monitor more areas vs the other model with more storage. Be sure to get a voice recorder that has voice activated recording features to save on storage and time sifting through hours of silence. One of the better methods, but you'd have to spend a minimum of $30.

Baiting Your Cheating Spouse - The best FREE method of catching your spouse cheating. Is this the same as impersonation? No, not really. Impersonation is when you call up credit card companies, or phone providers and fish for private details such as who owns what phone or what credit card charges were made while pretending to be the person, or their spouse. With this method, you are just going to fish for your spouse's cheating stories by pretending to be someone that is willing to cheat with them. I consider this the best free method of catching a cheating husband or wife because it has a chance of you finding out their secret email addresses or phone numbers. If you are low on cash and can't afford any of the tools mentioned here, there is cost in trying to bait a cheater into confessing to an affair.

Tracking Your Spouse's Internet Activities - This works well with the above method, and it's free as well. Not too effective if your spouse knows how to clear their internet browsing history. But if they don't, you will know what sites they visit, what they search on Google, and if they view porn sites secretly while you're away.

Private Investigators - Hired professionals. No question about it, this is THE best way to know whether or not your spouse is cheating. These guys are professionals, they make their living out of finding out the truth and providing information. Private Eyes will always get the job done, they employ all the methods found on this site, and some of their own. The only reason I recommend them last is because they are EXTREMELY costly compared to keyloggers, cellphone spies, and hidden cameras. If you plan on hiring a private eye, don't be surprised if the bill reaches the 4 digit range.

When I say I think it's the best way to know if she's cheating, I mean that for private investigators who have a good record. Be sure to check out the guide linked above to help you in selecting a private investigator. Don't just hire someone because they are your only option in your area. If they have a horrible record, you'd best do it yourself. And if you've had some experience with private investigators, please consider sharing it on the Private Investigator Reviews page, for the benefit of those people who in the future need help selecting a good P.I. company.

View things from the other side, learn how your husband will cheat on you by reading the "How To Cheat On Your Wife" article. Just to be clear, I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE. This is just to show you some ways that your husband can cheat on you, and how they may avoid detection. It's a spin from the regular article where we talk about how to catch a cheater, it may be more eye opening when "reverse engineered".

Find Phone Number On Map For Free

We added a form to the right at the bottom of this page that accesses a database of phone numbers. You can use this to check if you suspect your spouse is cheating, and calling other men/women. The downside is that it does not work for people outside of the USA. I'll try to link a database for an international reverse phone lookup when I find one.

If you want to track someone's location on google maps, you just simply enter their 10 digit phone number on the form to the right, and it will search the database for that phone number. It's completely free to check the location of a phone number on google maps, but it costs a subscription or a one time fee for 1 search if you request for complete details. Complete details include phone owners full name, address, previous address, and what type of phone it is and who is their service provider. The unnecessary features include background checks and criminal records, which I think is overkill.

These types of databases are sometimes being used by professional private investigators. It helps private investigators in locating addresses to help track your spouse or the people your spouse associates with. So if you are hiring a private investigator, you may want to ask them to do some reverse phone lookups for you, I doubt that would cost extra because private investigator fees are already extremely high. Some even charge $120+ per hour!

Basic overview of Reverse Phone Lookups

1. First thing you should do is check your spouse's phone and your home caller ID for unknown numbers.
2. Input each of those numbers on the form found to the right side of this page.
3. Wait for it to be processed on their database, and you will be served up the map location of the unknown number on your home landline or cell phone.
4. (optional), if you want to view the phone owners full name, exact address, and phone type and service provider, opt for a single search ($15) or if you have a lot of unknown numbers, opt for the 1 year registration ($40). This is just optional, just finding out the phone's location on the map can help clue us in deciding on whether or not our spouses are cheating.

Example of Reverse Phone Lookups

We'll use Google's phone number as an example. I'm sure they won't mind :)
Google's phone number is 650 253 0000. Lets pretend Google is some random person that your spouse may be cheating with.

So you found that number in your cellphone or home phone, and you have no idea who it is. You just enter that number on the form to the right of this post and it will search for the number in the reverse phone lookup database. You can try it yourself, but in case you were wondering, the results look like this (click to enlarge). You can try it also using your own phone number, and see how accurately you are placed on google maps.

If the number is too far away, that it would take a plane ride to get there, then we can rule out physical affairs, but they could be having an emotional affair if their phone conversations happen regularly. If the number is close to your location, then it's a higher chance of a physical affair happening. The reverse phone lookup database contains business phone lines as well, so you can check whether or not it's a work related call.

What you can do is ask your husband or wife who this phone number belongs to, and why is it in our phone bill/their cellphone bill. They can't say they don't know because it's in the bill and it shows how long they have talked, and if they say it's a friend's phone number then you can ask WHO it is.

Most likely if they are cheating on you with that person, they won't give their real names or location. That's when you should consider paying for a full report and matching the name that your husband or wife gives you, to that listed on the reverse phone lookup database. If they don't match, then you know your spouse is lying.

If this isn't enough to give you peace of mind, you may consider reading the cellphone spy overview, to help you pick out a cellphone spy yourself, or this mobile spy guide, if you want an exact recommendation and not a generic overview on types of cellphone spies.

Type A US BASED Phone number to find it on the map

Type a 10 digit phone number and press enter, or click Submit Query to get your results on Google Maps.

Please feel free to share your experiences with infidelity on our cheating spouse stories page.

Begging Forgiveness - Don't Do It

Don't be pathetic. Begging for forgiveness is the same as begging for money. Why would you be given something more valuable than money, people's trust, when you don't deserve it?

If you want to be forgiven for something stupid you've done to your relationship, (cheating, emotional affairs) you should EARN it. Here are some ways to earn back your partners trust.

1. Accept that you made a mistake, and listen to your spouse's demands. Do it even if it doesn't seem reasonable (within limits).

2. VOLUNTEER to go to marriage conseling. This will save up so much trouble and drama. You don't want drama.

3. Never be a know-it-all in this type of situation. Don't pretend you know why this happened and how to avoid it. You don't. You got caught cheating and now you must face the music.

4. "I did it because you didn't do X for me. I had to get X from somewhere else. It's not my fault I" anything that sounds remotely like this is the most pathetic thing a cheating spouse who got caught can do. I'm guessing you've all seen this on an episode or two of Cheaters (the show with Joey Greco).

5. When participating in one of the activities your husband or wife has planned, don't "drag your feet" or be constantly letting her know how horrible the experience is and it's not affecting anything. That won't help and build up even more negativity between both of you.

6. Remember anytime that you both were enjoying your time together, and recreate that moment. Enjoyed a trip together? Go on a trip together. You may even consider booking a couples retreat, specifically ones to help couples suffering from midlife crisis.

7. Don't assume your spouse will forgive you. Some husbands and wives stick to bad relationships for the sheer love of their children.

When to think about divorcing your spouse?

Since this blog started, there have been around 300 comments, and most of these comments have been people stating that they are "so miserable", but still "want to make it work".This is NOT how a relationship should be, and maybe you should consider getting a divorce. You might be thinking "what?? a divorce? It's not serious, I can deal with it." right? My question to you is why do you think divorce is a bad thing for you? Divorce is almost always a good thing for you, maybe a good thing for your children as well in the long run

Why is divorce a good thing?

1. There has been zero happy relationships that have been ended because of a divorce.That's the truth. I don't think there are any truly happy relationships that have been ended by a divorce. A divorce is a good thing because if you are thinking of one, you are most probably in an awful relationship with a partner who refuses to change.

2. Raising children in an unhappy marriage will affect them negatively a lot more than raising children as a single parent. I know alot of single moms and single dads whose children grow up happy and live "normal" lives. I don't know a single child who grew up happy living under a roof where their parents are constantly fighting and yelling at each other. It's abusive to you and your children if you keep living a miserable life. The key to being happy in a relationship, or life even, is not being miserable and having to live with something you don't have to.

3. It is very liberating. Especially if you had to sacrifice to keep a relationship going, while your spouse never reciprocated. After a divorce you can just focus on you, or you and your kids if you have any. It's not the end of the world, it's just the end of a bad relationship. No more having to blame yourself, no more having to put up with things you were forced to put up with. It's just you focusing on you and how to improve the quality of your life.


Here's a few scenarios where you SHOULD consider ending your relationship with a nice quick divorce.

1. You caught your spouse cheating. They promised to do this and that, but when it comes time do what they said, you get little to no action. If your spouse has even the tiniest bit of respect for you and values your relationship, they'd at least bother to go to marriage counseling with you at least ONCE.

2. Your spouse is overly flirts and you confronted them about it. They repeatedly shrug it off and say "it's nothing", even though it is against marriage and a disrespect to you as a person when they flirt with someone else. If your spouse refuses to even consider talking about this, then you can be sure if an opportunity to have an emotional affair rears itself, your spouse will most likely take it. Overly flirting and undermining YOUR needs and the boundaries of your marriage is a sign that your relationship maybe on the rocks. Especially if this is the first time you've had your relationship "tested" and a compromise needed to be made.

3. You are sick of being lied to. Getting lied to a couple of times, maybe you could look passed that. Getting lied to for years, I say divorce your spouse. To quote possibly the most intelligent man who has ever lived on the planet Earth, "Insanity : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."- Albert Einstein


Just remember that if it feels like you're forcing it to work, you probably are. It won't last if you're the only one trying to save your marriage.

Keep Cellphone From Being Spied On

We talk alot about mobile spies and cellphone software that can let people read texts messages remotely in this blog. But how do we prevent malicious people from doing it to our mobilephones?

With a cellphone spy that reads simcards, your only option of preventing people from spying on it is not to let them get their hands on your cellphone. Sim card readers basically extract data from simcards, meaning they need to physically insert your simcard into the simcard reader. You can't do anything about it if they get your simcard, they could simply insert it in the card reader and plug it in a PC and they can get your data.

With a cellphone spy SOFTWARE, those that remotely view your inbox/pictures/videos, you will have to password protect your cellphone so no one but you can open your phone. If they do not know your password, they can't install the cellphone spies. You have to make sure your password is difficult to crack, because once someone can access your cellphone, they can spy on it by installing the software. Since these softwares are undetectable, there's not much you can do.

You can also just disable the internet on your cellphone, that way the mobie spies (if there are any) can't connect to the webserver and transmit your data for others to view.

Things that may mean your cellphone is being spied on/tapped :

The battery, even when unused, gets hot/warm.
Unexpected blinking LEDs
Unexpected internet activity (although some are undetectable)
Random noise/beeping when you are in a phone conversation.
LED/Phone light button stays lit or lightly lit even after turning off the phone.

Mobile Phone Spy FAQs

My spouse installed a Mobile Phone Spy on my phone, but I changed phones but still have the same number, can I still get spied on?
No. These mobile phone spies are software based spy tools, meaning if you change your phone, that means you have a brand new system, with nothing installed on it.

Can I install anti spyware to prevent my phone from being spied on?
You could, if they were made to detect these custom mobile phone spies. The custom made cell phone spies (the ones on the sidebar) are currently undetectable. They come with a subscription fee because the software continually evolves to patch over any anti spyware software you install. So you will be part of a continuous cycle of anti spyware patching over cell phone spies, and cell phone spies patching anti spyware. Patching refers to the software updating itself; cell phone spies patch to be undetected, anti spyware patches to detect.

What's the best way to prevent someone from spying on my phone?
Do the methods described above. For sim card readers, keep your cell phone away from people who might spy on them. For software based spies, keep your phone passworded and watch anyone who uses your phone to prevent them from installing anything. Don't let your cell phone out of your sight. Also disable blue tooth so people can't send you anything with viruses (these are different from cell phone spy programs). Anything that requires a download, such as multimedia files, images videos etc can contain malicious files. Don't know the sender? Don't accept the attachments.

What's the best way to avoid viruses?
Besides installing anti virus / anti spyware software, the old saying holds a lot of water. "If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't". Don't fall for freeware on the internet. Free ring tones, free images, free anything.

I'm not saying buy everything, just don't blindly accept or download things from the internet. Google the website you want to receive free stuff for before you download anything from them. Most browsers also have a malicious site detector that will warn you before you enter a website. Firefox has it, so you might want to download the free browser.

Disclaimer :

Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Private Investigators during Valentine's Day

Different security businesses and private investigators say that cheating rate goes up during Valentine's Day. Some even go as far as to thank the cheaters for their increase in sales during valentine's day, because for them, when your spouse cheats on you they make a lot of money from selling their services to help you catch your spouse red handed. Knowing the fact that there are more instances of cheating during valentine's day, you should plan ahead to prevent cheating.

Some things you could do, if you don't know whether or not you have a cheating spouse is look for cheating signs. If you know you have a cheating spouse, set a plan for valentine's day and make sure your spouse will have no excuse to leave or not be with you on that day. If they have already preemptively said that they will be out of town for work, or have other things to do and can't be home, you could take a look at GPS car trackers, or cellphone GPS software to track your car or your cellphone.


Watch what this private investigator has to say about cheaters and private investigators.



A day in the life of a private eye



If you are looking to hire a private eye, please read this guide to help you select a private investigator. Be sure to do your research, if you hire an amateur PI, he or she may get you into legal trouble if they do anything illegal.

If you have had any experience with a private investigator, please use the "private investigator reviews" page and post about it to help others who are looking for a good reliable PI company.

On a lighter note, watch jimmy kimmel make fun of cheaters in this video :

Save Your Marriage or Ditch it?

When should you consider ending or saving your marriage?

Let's face it, even if you love your spouse with all your heart, you should accept the possibility that you have fallen for the wrong person. It's pointless thinking "how can I save my marriage" over and over and over if your spouse is unwilling. Even if you unconditionally love your husband or wife, if they don't want to be with you there is no way to keep them, and you'll have to accept that. That's as blunt as I can put it, a partnership is only a partnership if both people want it to be a partnership. All the love in the world won't save your marriage if it's coming from only one person in the relationship.

Don't even read any further if you feel that your spouse is not cooperative, has no will to save your marriage, or you simply feel they do not care one iota about what is happening to you and your family. Just look for a divorce lawyer and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy crying over nothing. I say nothing because there really is nothing about it that you can do. Don't want to snap out of your delusional bubble just because I said so? Go and take a look at the country's(for America at least) divorce rate. If your spouse doesn't want you, go right ahead and leave him/her. They probably never deserved you in the first place anyway. Save your unconditional love for someone worth it.

According to an article in Time Magazine, Jennifer Baker, director of the marriage- and family-therapy programs at Forest Institute, says that the divorce rate is a tricky statistic, and said that the 50% of all marriages statistic is not accurate at all.

Here's some interesting statistics taken from divorce experts on the Time article :

"23% of college graduates who married in the '70s split within 10 years."

"49% of those who married young and did so without a degree lasted 20 years."

I'm sure those statistics did not care to include how many spouses were in "forced relationships", or who just didn't want to end the relationship no matter how unhappy they were. I'm not trying to be mean, but think about how much happier you would be in a relationship where both of you love each other. If you're the only one giving love that is not a real marriage and you should stop trying to save your marriage, and just end it.

"My spouse cheated on me, can we still save our marriage?"
That would depend on your husband or wife, are they willing to work on saving your marriage? Do they accept what YOU want to do to save your marriage? Are they compromising, accepting, or making excuses for cheating on you?

A sign that you can still save your marriage is that your spouse is agreeing with you when you say you want to go to marriage counseling. Your husband or wife should agree to anything you say to help steer the direction of your marriage towards repairing trust. Marriage counseling is what you need, aside from being honest with each other. For some people who can't afford to pay for marriage counseling, I suggest saving up for it. Even just a few sessions of marriage counseling. I can't give you a price because it differs from area to area, but if you are seriously wanting to save your relationship and avoid divorce, go to Google.com and search "Marriage counseling *your city*".


Alternatives to Marriage counseling
We live in the age of the internet, so you probably have thought of looking up online marriage counseling. If you haven't yet, those do exist. Some call it "telecounseling", it's usually for people who do not want to be seen at a "shrink", or just people who are strapped for cash. It's a cheaper, private alternative for marriage counseling. What I can recommend is you try out this eCourse on saving your marriage, by Dr Gunzburz. It's alot cheaper than going to an actual marriage counseling course in real life.

If you are not going to take this ecourse seriously, don't bother signing up. Just drag your spouse to a marriage counselor when you can afford to (which you also need to treat seriously). It's still worth taking a look at the testimonials from couples they have helped. The course is called "Save My Marriage Today" by Amy Waterman, and the link above is the "Blue Print For Saving Your Marriage" by Dr. Gunzburg.

I recommend Dr. Gunzburg because they also offer one on one online coaching sessions, and both their courses, save your marriage and how to survive an affair, are focused on the individual and then the couple; so each of you will get your own assignments and workbook that you will need to complete.

On the other hand, if you chose to ditch your marriage instead of save it, stay tuned for the divorce article with tips on how to do your own divorce and how not to lose your possessions in a bad divorce.

How to save your marriage

1. Marriage counseling - You need to drop your pre-defined notion of what people do in marriage counseling and just go. These are professionals who will help save your marriage. There are also other courses, for divorced people who want to make sure their kids get the best support before, during and after a divorce. For alternatives to this method, see the above links for the online marriage counseling courses.

2. Couples retreat - Same as marriage counseling but you dedicate a whole week, or more sometimes, to get away from it all and go to a place that will destress you both. I'd recommend this much more than just finding a local marriage counselor because in normal marriage counseling, you just head on over to your local marriage counselor, finish your session, or group session if you opted for that, then head on back home. In a regular troubled marriage, it is very stressful in the house and there is lots of tension, especially after a bout with infidelity. In a couples retreat, it's a long period of time where you get to spend AND enjoy time with your loved one. The benefits far outweigh the price couples retreats have over regular counseling. It also makes for a good "surprise gift" if your relationship is in the dumps, but not yet to the point you both are thinking of ending it.

3. Compromise and Planning - Set aside a day for the sole purpose of compromise and planning. Take a day off from work if you have to. This is important and you should treat it as important. This is something you can do as a couple with no help from a professional marriage counselor. List down the things that are causing problems in your relationship and thoroughly discuss it. You should each give a reason why it is causing problems, and what you are willing to do. When my husband and I were having problems, we did this right before going to a couples retreat, which we also again did there.

What I wanted a compromise for was his boundaries with the opposite sex, because he had one workmate who was flirting with him and was getting touchy. I told him that he should not allow other women to be touchy with him, same thing I do and not allow any other man but him to be touchy with me. I told him it makes me feel jealous and he should only allow that with me, his wife. He said he didn't even consider it hurtful and he didn't know I got jealous, and he agreed. It was that simple to get rid of flirting. They're still friends up to now, but there's just no more flirty-touching going on. The reason we went to couples retreat was because we wanted to strengthen our relationship, not exactly save it because we are doing fine. In the retreat we learned to appreciate one another more and made a plan on how to deal with little insecurities that usually end up in small fights.

Unfortunately for my first marriage, my then husband was unwilling to change ANYTHING, and I was unwilling to accept being a doormat and changing everything for him. I divorced my first husband, and my husband now (Mike), understands how I feel more than anyone else because he too was a victim of infidelity. Although we from time to time have problems, it's nothing we can't fix, and ultimately we are both very happy together.

4. Honesty - It's as simple as that. Just be honest with each other. If you have trust issues because you have been cheated on, you will HAVE to open up again and trust your spouse. Slowly, but surely trust in your spouse. A marriage counselor will help quicken this development, but it will still be up to you whether you believe your spouse can be trusted again or not.

No amount of counseling or retreats will convince someone who doesn't want to believe their spouse is capable of change. For those people, you should think about getting a divorce. Don't look at divorce as something negative. If you are MISERABLE in your relationship, divorce is a GOOD thing.

Friendship vs Emotional Affairs

What's the difference between friendship and emotional affairs? Some of you may be a little bit over protective over your spouse's relationship. Having a friend of the opposite sex will not destroy your marriage. How do you know if your wife's friend is actually trying to steal her away? How do you know if your husband's secretary is only working on company matters, and not your husband?

Watch for signs of an emotional affair! You don't need to outright BAN them from having friends of the opposite sex, you just need to watch how your spouse interacts with them. Being jealous without anything that backs up your suspicion is just being irrational and paranoid. Try to think of it rationally, ask yourself if you would do the same to a friend of the opposite sex.

Some of the things that should be considered as "red flags" of an emotional affair are :

1. Your spouse continues conversation with the person even after work. Unneeded interaction may not always be considered a sign of an emotional affair, but it should be monitored especially if your spouse is the one initiating it. If for example your wife is always being texted or called after work times by a workmate, then there are a few options for her. 1 would be to entertain the phone call if it is work related, and then end it when they are done with work. 2. Tell the workmate they can talk about it at work, if it isn't urgent. 3. Reply to text message that are only work related.

This can change if your spouse is friends with this person. It isn't normal for a few minutes of socialization, but if they talk for an hour or so after work, regarding things that are not work related, then this could be a sign of an emotional affair building up.

2. Webcam chats with your spouse. I don't think this is even necessary for work chats online. Unless there's a special case that absolutely needs a webcam, this is definitely a sign of an emotional affair. You can tell whether or not your spouse is hiding something if he/she minimizes the webcam videos when you enter the room.

Chatting from time to time is okay, but do you really need to use the webcam? Take note of what your spouse is wearing too. They may be having more than a chat. If you suspect that they are having some inappropriate chats through cams, you may want to get a simple keylogger that takes screenshots of your computers activity before you confront them. When you confront a spouse they may try to be more secretive and might not even use the computer anymore when you are around.

3. Hiding emails and text messages. Another sign of emotional affairs, or even cheating. When someone texts or emails you and your spouse sees you texting/typing, if she asks what are you doing what do you respond? You're open and honest about it right? That's because it's the normal way of answering someone when you have nothing to hide.

Now if your spouse's reaction to you asking about his or her texts/emails is something defensive and secretive, you may be dealing with an emotional affair or actual infidelity. A spouse with nothing to hide would even allow you to look at their emails or cellphone. It's pretty common that spouse's know each others passwords or allow you to use their cellphones.

4. You catch your spouse confiding in a person of the opposite sex. This is a sensitive subject and would depend on what your husband or wife is confiding. If it's something serious like how your marriage is on the rocks and needs to be saved, is definitely not something you talk about with just a normal friend. Especially not something you would talk about with a friend of the opposite sex. I would consider that they are either in an emotional affair already, or this could be the start of an emotional affair.

Now what would you normally talk about with a friend? Financial problems would be acceptable, Car problems, shopping help (usually husbands ask their wife's friends for help), anything generic that does not involve your spouse's relationship with you. You can be sure they are in an emotional affair if they straight out go to the other person even before you. This can be done over the email, sms, or chatting online.

5. Spending time with someone after work. Another sensitive subject, it's who your wife or husband goes out with after work and what they do. It's an emotional affair if your wife goes out with another man (from work) and they eat dinner together. Once in a while, it may be acceptable and considered friendship, but if it's a regular thing that they eat out together every friday or everyday I would consider that an emotional affair.

I would consider it friendship, and not an emotional affair, IF they eat together with a group of other workmates. That's normal, and friends do that all the time. But if they are just together alone with each other, that's different. Try to get a GPS tracker to monitor your car or cellphone if you can't be sure of this. Even better, if they go out in a group with other workmates, get to know the workmates and befriend someone. You can then find out from that person how they interact with each other within the group.


Some things that is considered leaving the world of emotional affairs and heading straight to real, physical affairs that ruin marriages are :

1. Hand holding. This is what lovers do. Subtle way of letting the people around know you are connected. An emotional affair is usually just sharing intimate details with someone who is not your spouse and confiding in them. Hand holding is physical and should only ever be done with your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

2. Different types of flirting. This is what you first do when you started dating your spouse. Flirting lets the other person know you are very much interested or attracted to them. It's what let you know that your spouse was interested in your, and it's what led to your marriage. If your spouse is now flirting with someone else, then that's a sign of an affair beginning, not just an emotional affair anymore.

3. Favors. A touchy topic, but favors someone would do for your spouse that they wouldn't do to anyone else is a sign that they are beginning a relationship. Things like driving them somewhere. Taking them home. Picking them up. Buying them things. Being extra nice. All make it look like they are dating or she is being courted.

4. Throwing them a party for a special occation. If your spouse has a birthday coming up, and some girl/guy is the one who throws them a party instead of you, WITHOUT trying to contact you so you can arrange the party together, that's them making a move on your spouse. Not only are they wanting to build a relationship with your spouse, they're also undermining you by not including you in the preparation so they can take full credit.

5. Buying them inappropriate clothing. This is self explanatory. No regular "friend" would buy your wife lingerie and ask them to wear it. Some people do this and even ask your spouse if they are wearing it. If your spouse entertains this, there is something going on. If your spouse kept this secret from you and you found out on your own, you can be sure something is going on.

More info on what is an emotional affair. 

Differences between emotional affairs and friendship

Here are some examples of situations on how your spouse would act if they were in a normal situation vs if they were in an emotional affair.

After work, a workmate of the opposite sex asks your spouse to go out for drinks.

In a normal relationship your spouse would call or text you that they will be drinking with that person, and tell you they'll be late. No secrecy, no reason to be afraid to tell you the truth, because it's all innocent. This could happen often, or once in awhile, it doesn't matter because you always know and their story always fits the timeline.

If they are having an emotional affair, your spouse won't tell you they're going out to drink, but probably give you the tired old excuse of "going to work overtime". If you install some sort of spy tool to track your spouse and try to "fish" for information, they will almost always react negatively and feel "insulted" (good liars do this to divert the topic of the conversation).

Your wife, who is a housewife, starts chatting with people online while you are at work.
In a normal relationship, the housewife will tell you about their day, including the chats they've had (with or without men). They won't have any specific guy they talk to, they just happen to talk to guys online. If anything crosses the "friend line" they permanently stop talking to them, and tell you about what happened.

If they are having an emotional affair, you won't even know that your wife chats online while you are gone. Period. Women are better at keeping secrets than men. I'm not saying men don't keep secrets too, but women are just better at it. If you do by chance smell something fishy going on and install a keylogger on your computer, you will notice that all her time chatting is spent with mostly one other guy, and the details of what they are talking about are something that only a wife's husband should know.

Your husband has a friend who is "touchy feely".
In a normal relationship, your husband would immediately put distance between themselves. If his girl friend continues doing so, he may remind her that he is married or set her straight by telling her to watch her boundaries.

If they are having an emotional affair, they won't react and would let his girl friend do as they please. This is a sign that their emotional affair is slowly breaking into the physical barrier. Once they are comfortable emotionally, it only takes a little more time before they start to becoming physically intimate.

Your spouse gets a phone call after work, from a workmate.
In a normal relationship, your spouse would either dismiss the call if it was unimportant or take a few minutes to work on it.

In an emotional affair, your spouse will use this as an excuse to leave the room to get some privacy for their "work" related call. If they've already got a full blown affair going your spouse might even use this as an "emergency" call that warrants a trip back to the office.

Reverse Image Tracking

So you opened your spouse's email, and found several pictures of an unknown girl/guy. You want to know who this person is and is this person cheating with your spouse. You don't have the cash to spare for a private investigator, cellphone spies, or keyloggers, so you try to look up pictures of the same person on your spouse's facebook/myspace but can't find any. In this article I'll teach you how to use Reverse Image tracking to find out the origins or other copies of that same picture you just found on your spouse's email.

This is useful for those of you who have access to your spouse's facebook/myspace/emails where they keeps pictures in. It's not uncommon for cheating spouses to keep pictures of the women or men they cheat with. So to save money and not have to hire a private investigator to track the picture's origin, you can try and do a little detective work of your own.

This method will only work for people who actually find pictures that their cheating spouses' hide. Whether this will help you decide that you have a cheating spouse or not is up to you, what I'm going to show you now is just how to find the source of that picture.


Steps to Reverse Image Tracking :

Step 1 Download that picture to your desktop.

Step 2 Upload that picture to this website.

Step 3 Select "Best Match" under Sort Order.

That's all you need to do and you'll be able to see all pictures that are either similar, or identical to your spouse's pic you uploaded. You can also try and upload a picture of your spouse to check what other websites are hosting it. Your husband or wife may have another social site/website/secret blog that they are not telling you about. Great way to find out for free if your spouse has any signs that they are cheating.

Here's an example of the above steps. We'll use a picture of someone famous, like Marilyn Monroe.


First we upload the picture. You can also just link to it directly. To link to a picture directly, select the picture of your spouse, or the suspected person they are cheating with and do one of the following :

FireFox browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Copy Image location"
Paste that copied link on the link option to the right of the upload option.

For Google Chrome browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Copy Image URL"
Paste that copied link on the link option to the right of the upload option.

For Internet Explorer browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Properties"
Highlight and copy the URL found on "Adress (URL)" line and paste it on the link option to the right of the upload option.It should look like this if you choose to upload. If you chose to directly link (won't work if your spouse's picture is set to private or is at their email), link should be filled up instead of the upload option.

The results will then be displayed after the website searches for the pictures inside their database. It should look like this when you're done. The red area is where your results will be displayed, with the most relevant starting at the top.


This will hopefully help you find out if your spouse could potentially be cheating on you, or show you the origins of the pictures they secretly keep. If you get lucky and find someone's facebook/myspace or website with their name on it, and you think that person could be cheating on your with your spouse, you can try and take this step a little further by looking for a phonenumber on their social sites and the running a background check on that phone. There's a link on the sidebar for reverse phone tracking which is private and discreet. You could also use that reverse phone tracking tool on unknown or unsaved phone numbers on your spouse's cellphone or your home phone's caller ID.

If you're gutsy enough that you don't care if they find out about you (with their caller ID or *69) you can just call them and fish for information, like their name and if they know who your spouse is.


Some tips on where to find pictures to reverse image track

1. If you have access to your spouse's phone, upload the pictures to your computer and then use reverse image tracking to find out who those people are or where their sites/facebok/myspace is located at.

2. Use a cellphone spy program that lets you download images and videos from your spouse's phone if you don't have access to it.

3. Check the company website your husband/wife works for and look at the employees section. Try and remember someone of the opposite sex that your spouse has either talked about little too much, or never mentioned them at all and run their pictures on the reverse tracking site.

4. Do a search on your computer for hidden files/images.

5. You can also try and googling your spouse's name, and see who posts his/her pictures, or talks about him/her.

Got caught cheating on your spouse, now what?

So you got caught(serves you right), and now you're thinking s/he is always going to think I'm a cheating husband/wife, what can I do to gain their trust back? Here are some things you should know if you want to genuinely save your marriage and repair the broken trust. And of course never cheat again.

Common things cheating spouses say or do after they get caught :

I love you. Sure it's sweet when you say it when YOU DON'T CHEAT, but it's just not going to cut it after you cheat on your spouse. You might even incite a meltdown or get your spouse to yell at you for saying that after you did the opposite of what a lover does. Don't do this.

It's not that I X it's because you think Y. NEVER EVER try to convince, argue or talk your way out of an affair. Your husband or wife will never change their feelings on what happened, especially if they caught you with evidence from a cellphone spy, or video cam. You'd have to be extremely dense to even attempt to do this after you got caught cheating.

Be over the top. Try to imply your spouse is exaggerating what happened, it was just sex I don't love her, or it was nothing you're being too sensitive about this, I didn't cheat on you, we just used the phone. Do this and you will most likely never get his or her trust back.

Overly Pessimistic. If you get caught cheating and you act overly pessimistic and think you will never gain her trust back and save your marriage, you will never gain your trust back and save your marriage. You are at fault, and you have to earn her trust back. Don't act like this, and you will eventually gain it back.

Blaming your spouse. Probably the most common of all the after affair responses, the blame game. Hasn't work, will never work, don't even try it.

Acting depressed and threatening suicide. May work for a short period of time, but not because you fixed the consequences of your affair, but because you guilted him/her into staying with you. What are you going to do when your spouse stay with you until you are better, then leaves you after that, threaten to suicide again? That won't work, don't be pathetic and do this. Suicide is cowards.

Involving relatives to help persuade your spouse. No. Just don't do this. You shouldn't try to persuade your spouse that everything is okay even if you cheated, which makes involving relatives to help persuade them even more a wrong move. You may even get your spouse to leave the house. You are just asking for a divorce.


Lies. "I really won't cheat on you anymore" "This is the last time I do X and I won't even talk to Y anymore". This is just wrong, do not do this. Anyone who has been cheated on knows that your words won't mean anything until you gain trust back. How do you gain trust back? Actions, not words. You can sweet talk your husband or wife all you want, if you don't show improvements in action you aren't going to see improvements in trust.

Believing everything will be okay. You go to church, confess your sins, and then think everything will magically be alright when you get home. Sorry, god won't do anything for you. It's like people praying for a car, or a new house, or more money. Just won't work.

Bribing your spouse. You start buying your spouse things, you start doing things for your spouse you don't normally do, you say you'll do anything to make it up. Not going to work. If your spouse tells you to go to marriage counseling with her, you better go. That's a positive step, but just buying your wife/husband new things won't do anything.


Those are the things to avoid doing after you've cheated on your loved one, now here are some things that will actually help :


Accept that YOU were wrong. If you've been cheated on by your husband or wife, you know how painful it feels. Blaming them will cause them even more pain. When your spouse is so depressed and they feel like there's nothing else BUT depression, they will do what any human would do, cut you out of their lives. So don't blame them.

Accept what they want to do. If your spouse loves you enough to stay with you after you have betrayed their trust, accept what they want you to do. You shouldn't haggle or beg, accept. They want you to come home at 7PM, accept that and do it. They want you to attend marriage counselling with them once a week? Accept that. They want you to send them a text message once in a while whenever you have free time? Do it, I don't see why you wouldn't want to talk to your spouse, you did marry that person.

Tell your wife or husband what caused the affair. Sometimes this can be something as simple as that. You were not getting X so you went to Y to get X. After telling your spouse this, DO NOT FORCE YOUR SPOUSE to do it, find a compromise. If you can't find a compromise, wait it out and try again. You should know that someone who has been cheated feels very vulnerable, depressed, and USED. So let him or her come to terms with the affair you had, and s/he'll most likely want to find even ground.

Act happy. Yes, even if you aren't. When s/he makes you do something, do it and act happy. Don't feel like you are forced to do any of it, and do it like it was your idea and you want to do it. If you accept everything she wants to do, but do it in a manner that implies you hate doing it, you may as well get a divorce and save both of you the time.


Are you willing to do all of these? Or do you want to get a divorce? You should think about that because cheating on someone twice, or staying with them til you can find someone better is just cruel and a waste of time for your spouse.

If you are serious about wanting to save your marriage, you might want to read this book or even enroll at an online course. You could also contact a local marriage counselor by googling "marriage counseling *your location*". Nothing says you are serious about saving your marriage more than actions. Reading a book on how to save your marriage, enrolling in a course, or telling your spouse you were wrong and want to take her to a local marriage counselor is one of the best ways to make up for having an affair.