Is your husband cheating on you with a mutual friend?

Is your husband's "friend" just that, or are they having an affair?

It is perfectly fine for couples to have mutual friends, and it is very normal that your husband may close friends that are women. Just because he has a lot of close friends that are women doesn't mean you have a cheating husband. However if you suspect your husband is cheating on you with a one of those friends and you have noticed some signs of a cheating husband, then you are right in paying more attention and researching more on cheating spouses. Most of the times you can tell if your spose is cheating, but when your instincts go off, it may mean trouble down the road. Is it wrong to suspect your husband is cheting? Is it wrong to check up on your husband's cell phone? If you are doing it because you want to save your relationship and marriage, there is nothing wrong with that at all, and besides that, marriages or serious relationships should have little to no secrets. Especially when it comes to sensitive matters like what your relationship is with the opposite sex, a wife has every right to know these things, and should worry when a husband tries to keep her in the dark.


Affairs usually start out innocent enough, and it is very common to find affairs that started out as friend. In today's world it is not even uncommon for your spouse to be having an affair with the same sex. We'll talk about some signs you should pay close attention to when trying to find out if your husband's friend is not just a friend. Sometimes when people think they are very good at hiding something, they really aren't, and are quite obvious.


Here are a few signs of a cheating husband
These can apply to both sexes, and also if you suspect your husband is secretly gay.

1. Your husband or wife will prefer him or her over you. This is just too obvious, if your husband or wife would put off your plans in place for his or her plan with this "friend", this is a very obvious sign they are more than friends. Of course there are special occasions, like a business deal that needs to be settled right away, or one of his favorite bands suddenly came to town(and you know it for a fact). If this keeps happening more and more, you need to confront him or her about this and tell them you are not getting enough of his time, or you would like to tag along, especially if time spent is with the opposite sex.

2. Intimate conversations. This is one of the harder signs to catch, when your spouse is actually having intimate conversations with the opposite sex, it is an almost 100% sign that they are NOT just friends. By intimate conversations I mean conversations he would only speak to you about, such as telling you a personal problem, sharing a secret, talking about how stressed or depressed he or she is feeling. Things that would fall into the category of couple talk. These are often observed when you talk to the friend who he or she is having conversations with. They may let it slip out, or they may not even know that they shouldn't talk about it infront of you. Maybe they even know something your husband has never told you. To take a more active approach, try to "bait" them into talking about a subject you know only you and your husband has talked about.

3. Discreet phone conversations. When you walk in a room and your husband is having a phone conversation with this friend, does he move away, put down the phone, or tell the friend they will call them back? If your spouse does this, you have to wonder why. Why would your husband or wife not want you in the same room when talking with their friend? What is it that they are trying to hide? If this happens a lot of times in your relationship, confront your spouse. If it has only started happening, and there's an upcoming important event, such as your birthday, anniversary or anything that would warrant a party, then you may just have stumbled upon a surprise party and you have nothing to worry about.

4. Flirting. Another obvious signs, when your husband or wife flirts, they may not notice it, but it is very obvious to other people that they are more than friends. Do friends flirt with each other? Sometimes, maybe as a joke, but if it is done more often than not, then it is definitely a sure sign they are going past the normal friend boundaries. Examples of flirting are either telling each other inside jokes, being overly touchy with each other, tickling, talking and laughing a lot with each other, especially when they think they are alone, or whispering to each other when they are in a crowd. Flirting is a sign that they have developed into something more than a friendship, and all emotional affairs are where cheating husbands or cheating wives start out.

5. Complementing the friend too much. Do you notice your husband or wife giving out compliments to this one friend, but less to other friends, or even less to you? Another obvious sign to watch out for. When you ask about this, all your spuse does is shrug it off or tell you they don't notice it and you're making up things. There are situations though that this person deserves the complements, but this doesn't always mean your husband should be throwing complements all year round. More than friends, possibly(coupled with other signs, yes), cheating on you, not a very revealing sign but worth it to pay attention to catch a husband before he gets to the cheating part.

6. The famous calling out of a different name in their sleep. There's really nothing more needed to say about this, it's in a spouse's natural instincts to immediately confront after hearing their spouse call out some other person's name. Now if the name calling out happens when both of you are awake, and in the middle of..intimate relationships..you definitely NEED to confront him, because that is as obvious as a sign of a cheating husband can get!

7. You catch your husband or wife having a secret date with this friend. You confront them, and they both are stunned and act like they are hiding something. Of course they will act like that, they're DATING behind your back! At this point, you will need to tell him to stop being friends with this person, or whatever compromise you can think of. If you're a guy, and you catch your wife dating another man, please try to be civil. I know some men cannot control themselves and will immediately resort to violence, but when you do that you risk getting thrown in jail instead of getting back at her by divorcing her, and leaving her sorry that she ever betrayed you by suing her pants off. The feeling you get when you win a divorce case is great, even when you feel down knowing you won and won most of your assets in a divorce just makes it all that better. I still remember the look on my cheating husband's face when I left him after I won, priceless :)

8. Pay attention whenever you confront your husband or wife. When they keep defending or taking the side of the "friend" after you tell them not to see or talk to them anymore, your spouse may be having an emotional affair with them. Close to half of all emotional affairs turn into full time affairs which involve not only emotional intimacy, but also physical intimacy.

9. The "friend" of your wife or husband starts talking about his or her new girl/boyfriend, who remains unnamed. They may talk about the date they have had in a classy place, or the new flowers that were sent to them, or new jewelry, clothes, and maybe even about the wonderful sex they are having together. Watch closely and check your credit card bills, bank account, your spouse's clothes for any crumpled up or balled up receipts.

10. Your husband has become such a "helpful neighbor". He volunteers to help do this and do that, he helps teach her how to use tools, fix her garage, lift heavy equipment, etc. They may all be excuses to hang out with each other. This is not always a sign that they are having sex and your husband is cheating, but it may just mean your husband would want some time to talk or actually hang out. This, like all affairs, can start out innocent at first, but once two people get too close to each other attraction starts to build up. They may find the other helpful, funny, or whatever they find attractive, and they will want more of it. When the emotional affair begins, they will also find that they are getting attracted to each other physically, and will eventually want to have physical relationships. So if you can, whenever your spouse offers to help this "friend", try to accompany them to make sure no boundaries are crossed.

In order for you to have a happy marriage or relationship, you have to have the proper marriage principles. Just by having proper marriage principles, you can avoid or prevent infidelity altogether. The boundaries of your marriage will be kept intact and neither of you will break it, both of you will be satisfied and avoid neglecting each other, you'll end up spending more time together and making more mutual decision on things or activities you do not normally do. The benefits of knowing and abiding by proper marriage principles are just too important to overlook.

It is always better to prevent adultery/infidelity by building a solid foundation in your marriage than dealing with the after effects and coping with your cheating spouse.

Catch cheating husband on valentine's day

Valentine's day is the time most cheating husbands get caught

According to most Private Investigators, it is the month of valentine's day that they have the most business. They say that catching a cheating husband is easier during valentine's day because most of these cheating husbands, even cheating wives, go out with their other lovers.

A cheating husband is forced to meet up with their mistresses, especially if their mistresses do NOT know that they are married. It is common for cheating husbands to keep their marriage secret, this is why you should keep a very close eye on his ring. If he ever comes home without his ring on his ring finger, you should be worried that something is wrong. They have no reason to remove their wedding rings, so why bother, unless they are trying to start another relationship and want to keep their past in the dark.

If your husband is having a secret affair, (online affair or emotional affair) he is going to have to meet up eventually if things develop. And as stated by the private investigators, Valentine's day is when they make the big money. Why? Because assuming the affair, and your husband's marriage is kept secret from both you and the new person he is involved with, they WILL have to go out on valentine's day because their lovers will obviously want to. Maybe they might want to go out with them too, if they are already in love with each other.

This will cause a lot of things to go wrong for you cheating husband, especially if you and him have plans on that same day. Things you should look out for are credit card bills, his pocket money, his bank account, his clothes, where he is, and if you have read on about ways to catch your cheating husband from this site, now is the perfect time to put your keyloggers, cellphone spies, and GPS trackers to good work. If you've taken the extra step to hire your own private investigator, that is awesome. You will have things covered and all you need to do is wait.

Two things can happen, you will either find your husband cheating on you during valentine's day, or finally be able to lift that weight off your shoulders and be secure in knowing you do not have a cheating husband.

If worse comes to worst, you are armed with all the knowledge you can after researching on how to catch a cheating husband that you will come out of this stronger, and win most of your assets in court. Remember, full custody of children is the best thing you can hope for if you ever want to divorce your cheating husband.

You should probably set something up if you haven't already done so, and ask him to go out on a date with you on Valentine's day. You have the right to be paranoid if he does not want to and says he has to work "overtime".

Remember, if you still haven't checked it out, there are tons of information and links on this website to things that will help you catch a cheating husband, such as those cellphone spy programs that will let you read all his text messages, deleted or not, listen in on all his calls, and keyloggers to help you get your husband's computer password and show you his online conversations and emails.

Good luck, and I wish you a happy valentine's day.

Cellphone spy overview

Overview of cellphone spy programs

If you've never heard of cellphone spy programs, it is basically software that allows a parent to monitor their kid's cellphone calls or text messages. The same programs are being marketed to husbands and wives to check if their spouse is being unfaithful and they have cheating husbands or wives.. These spy programs can be the answer to your questions, "Do I have a cheating husband?", "Who does he always talk to on his cellphone?", "Is he cheating on me?" etc.

Let's start with the most basic type of program, since there are several brands, we'll just call it "cellphone spy 1". Now Cellphone spy 1's capabilities are limited, and usually cost less than $100. Cellphone spy 1 is the usual software program that allows you to read text messages from your cheating spouse's phone by taking his sim card, and attaching it to the device which will send it to your PC. This will not only let you read text messages in his/her inbox, but also text messages that he/she has already deleted. Yes, you read that right, text messages that they've DELETED already. Since most spouses that cheat delete their messages, this tool will show you EVERYTHING.

"Cellphone spy 2", this is just like the first type of software, but the difference is the cost and functions. It is similar because it will let you read the text messages, but it adds the ability to also listen in on the calls.

"Cellphone spy 3", these things are what you want if you're looking for total control over your cheating husband's cellphone. This software type of spy is usually (depends on the software you pick) undetectable. A cheating spouse , who is smart enough to know about cellphone spies, will NOT use their cellphone for talking with the person they are cheating on you with and when they do talk to this person, it will be in code. They could change the name of the girl to "Jack" or "John" to disguise it from you even if you have a cellphone spy to read his/her text messages.

What cellphone spy 3 does different, or more than the other 2, is that this type of cellphone spy will not only allow you to read text message, listen to voice calls, but also control your cheating spouse's cellphone. You can silently "call" their cellphone using this cellphone spy program, and listen to what is happening around your cheating spouse (as long as the cellphone is with them). If they turn off the cellphone, it will NOT actually be turned off, and you will still be able to listen in on whatever activities might be going on in the immediate area of the cellphone.

You can also get your cheating spouse's message/call archive, turn off his phone, have his phone call a specific number, play a ringtone, etc. You can literally control your cheating spouse's phone directly from you own phone. These types of cellphone spies are usually subscriptions based and cost $100+ PER month. I'd say you never really need all the features that a cell phone spy 3 type offers. It's just too much features. I would get the cheapest cellphone spy (type 1) that can read texts, which in my opinion would be more than suitable in helping you know whether or not your spouse is cheating, or having an emotional affair.

On the other hand, if you're here and want to know how you can STOP your cheating spouse from spying on your cellphone, simply remove the battery from the phone. Just turning it off will not work if you are being spied on with a program such as "Cellphone spy 3". As for the other cellphone spy programs (1 and 2), the cheap ones aren't much of a threat, just keep your cellphone with you all the time and don't let anyone touch it (so they can get the simcard) and they can't spy on you. Unless you fall asleep and they get to tamper with your phone, your private details are safe. Setting a password on your phone will also help prevent people from installing software to monitor your cellphone activities.

Cheating spouses who use different phones or hides cellphones you are unaware existed in the first place are difficult to catch. If you think your cheating husband or wife has a secret cellphone they use to keep things from you, try a different method to catch your cheating spouse. See the link on the sidebar for a guide to catch a cheating spouse.


Please read the comment section below before you ask your own question, the comment section in this post is very very helpful, and someone even posted their own guide below.


UPDATE January 2011
Because of all the comments asking somewhat similar questions, I have made mobile / cell phone spy follow up post with an actual recommendation, not just a guide to help you search for a cellphone spy. I discuss a cellphone spy software that works with most of the popular smartphones (iPhone/blackberry/android/symbian/etc), has SMS, GPS, and call tracking, the ability to look at your spouse's phonebook, all done remotely.

In that article I recommend software that are a combination of cellphone spy 1 and 3. It's like cellphone spy 1 in the fact that it is cheap and allows you to read text messages (remotely) and it's like cellphone spy 3 because it has GPS Tracking, is undetectable and lets you view everything on the phone. I didn't bother looking for cellphone spy software that actually lets you "silent call" the phone to spy on the surrounding area, because I think that is way too overkill and do not intend on recommending something above $100. It's just too much, you don't need that IMO, if you do want one feel free to do your own research and share with us what you are using through the comment section below.

Click here to see the software spy for smartphones

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Catch a Cheating Spouse with Keyloggers

Catch Your Spouse Cheating Online  With Keyloggers

My previous post how to catch a cheating spouse was a basic guide on how to hire a private investigator. This is a more active method, which will involve using keyloggers.

Most of you, myself included, would rather do all the spying and evidence collecting themselves for various reasons. Mine would be that I was a bit ashamed of sharing such private details about my cheating husband, even with a professional private investigator, I would prefer to catch my cheating husband on my own. I would rather gather everything myself and then hire an attorney. This is another method on how to catch a cheating spouse.

In this method we will use keyloggers, and other various programs. This will be a work in progress, so if you have any programs that you would like to share and think it will help out someone that is doubtful of their spouse's loyalty, please contact me at my email (catchacheateradmin @ gmail dot com). If you haven't already read the "How to catch a cheating husband - private investigator" page, I recommend you do, if you don't want to take part on gathering evidence yourself and would prefer a different method to catch your cheating spouse.

Here is one method that I have mentioned in several posts, such as "Signs of a cheating spouse". This method is the one I used first, even before spying on cellphones.

Please read the reminder above (on every page on this site). Before spying on your spouse, research your local state laws regarding the legality of monitoring an individual's conversations. Also read the disclaimers of the websites you buy from.

Tools to help catch a cheating spouse

Keyloggers
First gadget we have to help catch a cheating spouse, which requires absolutely no computer know-how, is a keylogger. For those of you who are as technically illiterate as I am, this is THE perfect tool to help you spy on and catch your spouse cheating on the computer.


Basically it is a small piece of hardware that you attach to your computer, and it records all the keystrokes on its memory. It is undetectable. You just have to make sure that you attach the keylogger when no one is around the house.

The bigger the memory you buy, the more it will store, allowing you to leave it in for weeks on end. This will only work for desktop computers, as you need to attach this to where the keyboard attaches, and then attach the keyboard to your keylogger which will then spy on your cheating spouse's internet activity. You will be able to see not only where they go online, but you will also get your cheating spouse's passwords to all their websites, messengers, (secret) emails, etc. An essential when wanting to catch them in an affair.

Benefit of having this hardware keylogger is that it is undetectable even if you have virus scanners. To find it, your cheating spouse would have to look at the back of the computer, and then check the keyboard socket. Now, when have they, or anyone else in the house, ever done that?

This has worked for me, and even after divorcing my husband, it has proven to be useful in other things such as monitoring my kids' internet activities. They KNOW I know what they are doing, but they don't understand how their technically inept mom does it (cause they are lazy and would never clean their computers, which has the keylogger attached behind :) ). Every week or so, when I come to check on their rooms, I check the keylogger out and see their activities online.

Here is the Hardware Keylogger (USB version, if you don't know what USB means, read on) that I used which has a whopping 1 gigabyte storage, I also got it from the same site I buy books, Amazon, which is a well known site so you're sure that you won't get scammed either. An essential when it comes to gathering evidence while trying to prove or disprove an affair.

This type of keylogger is best used because of it's size and it's stealth. It's an inch and a half long, placed behind your computer AND can store 1 GIGABYTE (this is huge in case you did not know) worth of keystrokes. Which is plenty to get your cheating spouse's password, conversations, and anything else they hide from you. You can read their plans even before they go through with them AND you will have their passwords, that's the best part. Just avoid confronting the other person before sufficient evidence is acquired or you are ready to sue your cheating spouse and divorce them because s/he will most probably tell your spouse about it. But you won't really need to talk to the other person, you'll be able to see all their conversations through the key logs. Without them suspecting anything.

There is also a smaller sized cheaper keylogger, this will work just the same way as the 1 gigabyte one with the only difference being you will need to check up on it everyday or so and clear memory. Downside is you might go over the limit of the keylogger, and miss some of the details your cheating husband or wife is hiding. Anyway, the price goes down whenever the memory size goes down. The available sizes other than the 1 gigabyte one that I would recommend is the 4MB one (USB).   

Update December 2010: They discontinued the 4MB model. Check the other models recommended below, and sift through the related products for smaller versions (cause they're cheaper).

Be sure to pick the right one depending on what computer you have. I researched and it turns out my new PC (which my gamer son built for me) has a USB socket for the keyboard, so I got the 1 gigabyte one for this machine. For older PCs you will need a ps/2 socket. Don't buy the 2 gigabyte one, as that is a bit of an overkill. My ex cheating husband would fill up a 1 gigabyte one in about a week, which was more time than I could wait. I check on the keylogger every week, and 1 gig will definitely be perfect for that. 4MB one is good for a day or two at MAX. Also depends on how often your spouse uses the computer, it's up to you to decide.

Here are some quick links so you don't need to have trouble searching the site:

USB sockets:

1 gig keylogger USB socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

4MB keylogger USB Socket discountinued keylogger model.

Older keyboards, PS/2:

2MB keylogger PS/2 socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

1 gig keylogger

Again if you are unsure of what these do, they record EVERY keystroke made on your keyboard, and saves it on it's memory for you to view later on. Every single detail your cheating spouse tries to hide from you will be exposed. This is a sure fire way of catching a cheater, you will have all the evidence you need; this will either help you confirm your beliefs that your spouse is cheating on you, or will help you realize if you are just being paranoid for no reason at all.

In any case, you can also use it later on for other things such as to protect your kids by monitoring their internet activities, leaving someone in charge of your house while the computer is accessible, etc.

Please READ THIS before purchasing any of those keyloggers.

This hardware keylogger is not compatible with laptops. Your only choice for a laptop keylogger is a software based keylogger. Hardware based keyloggers do however work for any type of operating system (Windows, linux, etc), and has no need for software installations; some do have software installations, but it's usually for the device you are going to read the captured logs from.

Do you know what a USB or PS/2 socket is? I did not because as I said I am technically challenged, and had to research for a few hours before I understood. All you actually need to do, without all the computer talk, is turn your computer around and look at what the keyboard plugs into.

If it is round like this, you have a PS/2 socket.



If it is rectangular, you have a USB socket.



Just remember to check which one you need before buying, I don't want you to be wasting your money or spending hours of research. But you probably are not as technically inept as I am. :)

To recap, the benefits of these hardware keyloggers are :

• No installation needed for simple keystroke logging. (other than plugging in the back of the computer)
• Can be used to find out every and all keystrokes done on the computer.
• Can be used to get spouse's secret accounts.
• Can be used to get passwords for those accounts.
• Can be used to get your spouse's password on protected files or computer accounts.
• Basically anything typed, you will see.
• The more complex keyloggers allow taking of screenshots and "live viewing" from a remote computer.(see the updated software based keyloggers).
• Hardware keyloggers are undetectable unless physically found

This will be updated as much as I can to help you find more ways and gadgets you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

I hope this has helped you, and please feel free to email me if you need additional help. You can contact Kris, Mike or Hana at catchacheateradmin at gmail.

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Update 2010 : How to catch a cheating spouse using cellphone spies
Added a new article discussing cell phone spies, which is like a combination of GPS and keylogger that works on a cell phone. This article will help you pick a cell phone spy, and described the 3 basic types available to you.

Update January 2011 : Because of all the similar questions regarding cellphone spies and GPS trackers, I have made a follow up post to my guide on how to select a GPS/cellphone spy and actually recommend one product. Click on my mobile phone / Cellphone Spy article for the update.

Update May 2011 : If you are currently looking for a  free keylogger, read that post. I discuss why this is NOT the proper place to try and save money. Most so called free keyloggers or cell phone spies are designed to do nothing but spy on YOU, not the phone or computer you intend on monitoring. Don't get suckered into downloading any type of free software unless they are really popular (like mozilla.org's firefox browser, or google chrome).

I wrote that article because it's one of the most common questions I get "where can I download a free keylogger?", and the reply I always give, and will always give, is "I'm sorry I don't want to be responsible for you downloading a virus that steals your personal information". I'm not exaggerating, please read that article about software that claims to be "free".

Update Jun 2011
Added a new software keylogger for macs article. Also contains an alternative software keylogger for windows. 

Off topic Update 2011: After 3 years of maintaining this blog and testing products, I can safely say I, and my husband Mike, have become experts at spy tools. My hobby has become my passion, I love helping people with relationship problems because I can relate to them so much. Sorry for going off topic, but if you need someone to listen to or just read about your situation, you can email us or post on the cheat spouse stories page.


Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the 

How to catch a cheating husband with Private Eyes

Guide on how to hire a private investigator

You've been married for a fair amount of time, you notice that your spouse is now less involved, more distant, or is starting to keep secrets. You have seen some of the signs of a cheating husband. You're unsure on what to do but you really want to catch your cheating spouse. If you haven't tried keyloggers or spy programs, that is also a viable alternative to hiring a private investigator to do your spying for you. I recommend private eyes as a last resort, unless you are rich, then I recommend them over everything else. Only real downside to P.I's is they cost a LOT of money.

Hiring a private investigator to catch a cheating spouse for you is the right thing to do if you're busy with your own work, or taking care of your kids. You could most certainly do it all by yourself, using keyloggers and spy programs. It all really depends on you, and if you are comfortable with strangers handling such delicate matters. The benefit of hiring yourself a private investigator is you will get as much evidence as possible, video, audio, and anything from your computer(this you can do by yourself using keyloggers).

Don't forget that when you catch a cheating spouse, the topic of divorce comes up more often than not. I don't mean to sound negative but divorce often involves child custody, and division of assets. I'm sure you would not want your children ending up with someone that lied, betrayed, and cheated on their mother or father. Remember this when thinking about hiring a private investigator to catch your cheating husband or wife. If you are content with what your key loggers and spy programs have found and think a private investigator is unnecessary, then you can skip on and read other parts of this site, specifically "how to catch a cheating spouse using keyloggers". If you do however want to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating spouse for you, read on, and I hope I can help you with my advice.

When hiring a private investigator to carch your cheatin spouse, you'll obviously want someone proven. A private investigator with years of experience. You wouldn't want to hire someone that will just get caught and eventually alert your spouse to what is happening (you collecting evidence for divorce, if that is your plan). If until now you do not know if your spouse cheated, a private investigator will be able to confirm that for you, or dismiss the idea of infidelity by confirming every one of your spouse's excuses (working late, going out with friends, joined a gym, etc)

If you have enough evidence to prove in a court of law that you have a cheating spouse, then you would have the upper hand in gaining full custody of the children, your house, your possessions, alimony, etc. The custody over the children alone is enough reason for you to consider having a private investigator cover everything you haven't. Like videos of him from when he leaves the house up until he goes home. A mountain of evidence can be found from those, see an example of a group of private investigators hired to follow a suspected cheating husband. Check out this post and find out what happened to Sharon Bolton, a wife who suspected that her husband was cheating on her. Private investigators tracked down her husband, and found that he was cheating on her with the neighbor. Watch the video of a cheating husband caught found in this website.


How to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating spouse

Finding a private investigator where you live can easily be done by looking them up on the yellow pages or by googling "Private investigator (insert your location here)". Once you have found a website, you should now google "websitename reviews" or something similar for feedback.

You wouldn't want to waste your time and money on a private investigator that has no experience, or worse, has a lot of unresolved cases or complaints from previous employers. You want this whole thing to go smoothly, and you don't want your spouse finding out that they are being tailed.

Let's say I'm from Florida and I have decided that I need a private investigator to catch a cheating husband, I will now google "Private investigator florida".

Google now gives me a list of pages, with the top being most relevant and accurate. In this example, when you google "private investigator florida", the top of the search results page is fali.com

Now that you know there are private investigators at your area, you should now review their site by searching for terms like "fali.com review" or "fali.com cases" "fali.com scam". You want to find as much information on them as possible, good or bad. Here is an example of what I found from searching "fali.com review" :

Web safety ratings

Another thing to help you decide if it is a legit site or not is by getting their whois page. You can do this searching "fali.com whois", which brings us to the domain tools whois page. Click here to see the details.

You will see the contact details, the registrant, the administrative contact, etc. A fake site will have all this hidden, and the date the site was created will most likely be not more than a few months, or weeks even. In this case, fali.com looks as legit as can be, with a beginning date of 1998.

Another way, although not always available for all businesses, is to seach bbb.org. In this example, fali.com, is not registered with bbb.org. Not that big of a deal, since fali.com has been around for more than a decade. No spam/scam sites last more than a few months, so I can be sure that fali.com can be trusted and it is safe to hire a private investigator from them to help me catch my cheating spouse (or soon to be proven cheating spouse).

So once you are done reading their whole site, looking for reviews, checking their reputation, decide now whether or not to go ahead and hire a private investigator. If you have enough spare cash, I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is about to or is thinking about getting a divorce.

You might also find it easier to ask people who have gone through all of this before to help you with details on where/who they hired to catch their cheating spouse. If you don't know anyone who can help you, try the above method in hiring someone to help you gather evidence and catch you cheating spouse.

What you are looking for is someone who is PROFESSIONAL. Not just some guy who bought a video cam and is willing to tail and stalk your spouse. You want a professional licensed private investigator, not a vigilante type person who wants to stalk your cheating spouse for you. This individual should provide you with a guarantee of secrecy, and daily reports of everything that he has found/heard/recorded. You should discuss how far you would like things to go, and you should ultimately have full control on what will happen.

If you yourself have gathered enough evidence, already caught your cheating spouse, and can't find any more evidence/a good private investigator, it would do you good to seek advice from an attorney, or ask them for recommendations on private investigators.

The reason why I recommend you to NOT confront your cheating spouse before you have enough evidence is because you might not even have the chance of gathering evidence once you let your husband or wife know that you know what is going on. Having a good long civilized talk with your cheating spouse might reduce your chances of getting evidence for several reasons. They might deny it all in court, and if you have no evidence, you risk losing custody over the children. They might turn it around, and blame you. Anything can change, so why not get the upper hand? Consider everything you wouldn't normally, cause once a cheating spouse gets caught, they become a different person. If they have a history of being violent, try not to confront them alone. Think of a dog that is cornered, it will do anything to protect itself.

If you have had any experiences with private investigators, please share your experience on the comments form or at the private investigator reviews page

Good luck,
Kris

Update 2010: You might also be interested in my post on how to catch a cheating spouse using keyloggers.

Update 2011: I've added a new mobile phone spy software to the methods we can use to catch a cheating spouse.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).