Is your husband's "friend" just that, or are they having an affair?
It is perfectly fine for couples to have mutual friends, and it is very normal that your husband may close friends that are women. Just because he has a lot of close friends that are women doesn't mean you have a cheating husband. However if you suspect your husband is cheating on you with a one of those friends and you have noticed some signs of a cheating husband, then you are right in paying more attention and researching more on cheating spouses. Most of the times you can tell if your spose is cheating, but when your instincts go off, it may mean trouble down the road. Is it wrong to suspect your husband is cheting? Is it wrong to check up on your husband's cell phone? If you are doing it because you want to save your relationship and marriage, there is nothing wrong with that at all, and besides that, marriages or serious relationships should have little to no secrets. Especially when it comes to sensitive matters like what your relationship is with the opposite sex, a wife has every right to know these things, and should worry when a husband tries to keep her in the dark.
Affairs usually start out innocent enough, and it is very common to find affairs that started out as friend. In today's world it is not even uncommon for your spouse to be having an affair with the same sex. We'll talk about some signs you should pay close attention to when trying to find out if your husband's friend is not just a friend. Sometimes when people think they are very good at hiding something, they really aren't, and are quite obvious.
Here are a few signs of a cheating husband
These can apply to both sexes, and also if you suspect your husband is secretly gay.
1. Your husband or wife will prefer him or her over you. This is just too obvious, if your husband or wife would put off your plans in place for his or her plan with this "friend", this is a very obvious sign they are more than friends. Of course there are special occasions, like a business deal that needs to be settled right away, or one of his favorite bands suddenly came to town(and you know it for a fact). If this keeps happening more and more, you need to confront him or her about this and tell them you are not getting enough of his time, or you would like to tag along, especially if time spent is with the opposite sex.
2. Intimate conversations. This is one of the harder signs to catch, when your spouse is actually having intimate conversations with the opposite sex, it is an almost 100% sign that they are NOT just friends. By intimate conversations I mean conversations he would only speak to you about, such as telling you a personal problem, sharing a secret, talking about how stressed or depressed he or she is feeling. Things that would fall into the category of couple talk. These are often observed when you talk to the friend who he or she is having conversations with. They may let it slip out, or they may not even know that they shouldn't talk about it infront of you. Maybe they even know something your husband has never told you. To take a more active approach, try to "bait" them into talking about a subject you know only you and your husband has talked about.
3. Discreet phone conversations. When you walk in a room and your husband is having a phone conversation with this friend, does he move away, put down the phone, or tell the friend they will call them back? If your spouse does this, you have to wonder why. Why would your husband or wife not want you in the same room when talking with their friend? What is it that they are trying to hide? If this happens a lot of times in your relationship, confront your spouse. If it has only started happening, and there's an upcoming important event, such as your birthday, anniversary or anything that would warrant a party, then you may just have stumbled upon a surprise party and you have nothing to worry about.
4. Flirting. Another obvious signs, when your husband or wife flirts, they may not notice it, but it is very obvious to other people that they are more than friends. Do friends flirt with each other? Sometimes, maybe as a joke, but if it is done more often than not, then it is definitely a sure sign they are going past the normal friend boundaries. Examples of flirting are either telling each other inside jokes, being overly touchy with each other, tickling, talking and laughing a lot with each other, especially when they think they are alone, or whispering to each other when they are in a crowd. Flirting is a sign that they have developed into something more than a friendship, and all emotional affairs are where cheating husbands or cheating wives start out.
5. Complementing the friend too much. Do you notice your husband or wife giving out compliments to this one friend, but less to other friends, or even less to you? Another obvious sign to watch out for. When you ask about this, all your spuse does is shrug it off or tell you they don't notice it and you're making up things. There are situations though that this person deserves the complements, but this doesn't always mean your husband should be throwing complements all year round. More than friends, possibly(coupled with other signs, yes), cheating on you, not a very revealing sign but worth it to pay attention to catch a husband before he gets to the cheating part.
6. The famous calling out of a different name in their sleep. There's really nothing more needed to say about this, it's in a spouse's natural instincts to immediately confront after hearing their spouse call out some other person's name. Now if the name calling out happens when both of you are awake, and in the middle of..intimate relationships..you definitely NEED to confront him, because that is as obvious as a sign of a cheating husband can get!
7. You catch your husband or wife having a secret date with this friend. You confront them, and they both are stunned and act like they are hiding something. Of course they will act like that, they're DATING behind your back! At this point, you will need to tell him to stop being friends with this person, or whatever compromise you can think of. If you're a guy, and you catch your wife dating another man, please try to be civil. I know some men cannot control themselves and will immediately resort to violence, but when you do that you risk getting thrown in jail instead of getting back at her by divorcing her, and leaving her sorry that she ever betrayed you by suing her pants off. The feeling you get when you win a divorce case is great, even when you feel down knowing you won and won most of your assets in a divorce just makes it all that better. I still remember the look on my cheating husband's face when I left him after I won, priceless :)
8. Pay attention whenever you confront your husband or wife. When they keep defending or taking the side of the "friend" after you tell them not to see or talk to them anymore, your spouse may be having an emotional affair with them. Close to half of all emotional affairs turn into full time affairs which involve not only emotional intimacy, but also physical intimacy.
9. The "friend" of your wife or husband starts talking about his or her new girl/boyfriend, who remains unnamed. They may talk about the date they have had in a classy place, or the new flowers that were sent to them, or new jewelry, clothes, and maybe even about the wonderful sex they are having together. Watch closely and check your credit card bills, bank account, your spouse's clothes for any crumpled up or balled up receipts.
10. Your husband has become such a "helpful neighbor". He volunteers to help do this and do that, he helps teach her how to use tools, fix her garage, lift heavy equipment, etc. They may all be excuses to hang out with each other. This is not always a sign that they are having sex and your husband is cheating, but it may just mean your husband would want some time to talk or actually hang out. This, like all affairs, can start out innocent at first, but once two people get too close to each other attraction starts to build up. They may find the other helpful, funny, or whatever they find attractive, and they will want more of it. When the emotional affair begins, they will also find that they are getting attracted to each other physically, and will eventually want to have physical relationships. So if you can, whenever your spouse offers to help this "friend", try to accompany them to make sure no boundaries are crossed.
In order for you to have a happy marriage or relationship, you have to have the proper marriage principles. Just by having proper marriage principles, you can avoid or prevent infidelity altogether. The boundaries of your marriage will be kept intact and neither of you will break it, both of you will be satisfied and avoid neglecting each other, you'll end up spending more time together and making more mutual decision on things or activities you do not normally do. The benefits of knowing and abiding by proper marriage principles are just too important to overlook.
It is always better to prevent adultery/infidelity by building a solid foundation in your marriage than dealing with the after effects and coping with your cheating spouse.
It is perfectly fine for couples to have mutual friends, and it is very normal that your husband may close friends that are women. Just because he has a lot of close friends that are women doesn't mean you have a cheating husband. However if you suspect your husband is cheating on you with a one of those friends and you have noticed some signs of a cheating husband, then you are right in paying more attention and researching more on cheating spouses. Most of the times you can tell if your spose is cheating, but when your instincts go off, it may mean trouble down the road. Is it wrong to suspect your husband is cheting? Is it wrong to check up on your husband's cell phone? If you are doing it because you want to save your relationship and marriage, there is nothing wrong with that at all, and besides that, marriages or serious relationships should have little to no secrets. Especially when it comes to sensitive matters like what your relationship is with the opposite sex, a wife has every right to know these things, and should worry when a husband tries to keep her in the dark.
Affairs usually start out innocent enough, and it is very common to find affairs that started out as friend. In today's world it is not even uncommon for your spouse to be having an affair with the same sex. We'll talk about some signs you should pay close attention to when trying to find out if your husband's friend is not just a friend. Sometimes when people think they are very good at hiding something, they really aren't, and are quite obvious.
Here are a few signs of a cheating husband
These can apply to both sexes, and also if you suspect your husband is secretly gay.
1. Your husband or wife will prefer him or her over you. This is just too obvious, if your husband or wife would put off your plans in place for his or her plan with this "friend", this is a very obvious sign they are more than friends. Of course there are special occasions, like a business deal that needs to be settled right away, or one of his favorite bands suddenly came to town(and you know it for a fact). If this keeps happening more and more, you need to confront him or her about this and tell them you are not getting enough of his time, or you would like to tag along, especially if time spent is with the opposite sex.
2. Intimate conversations. This is one of the harder signs to catch, when your spouse is actually having intimate conversations with the opposite sex, it is an almost 100% sign that they are NOT just friends. By intimate conversations I mean conversations he would only speak to you about, such as telling you a personal problem, sharing a secret, talking about how stressed or depressed he or she is feeling. Things that would fall into the category of couple talk. These are often observed when you talk to the friend who he or she is having conversations with. They may let it slip out, or they may not even know that they shouldn't talk about it infront of you. Maybe they even know something your husband has never told you. To take a more active approach, try to "bait" them into talking about a subject you know only you and your husband has talked about.
3. Discreet phone conversations. When you walk in a room and your husband is having a phone conversation with this friend, does he move away, put down the phone, or tell the friend they will call them back? If your spouse does this, you have to wonder why. Why would your husband or wife not want you in the same room when talking with their friend? What is it that they are trying to hide? If this happens a lot of times in your relationship, confront your spouse. If it has only started happening, and there's an upcoming important event, such as your birthday, anniversary or anything that would warrant a party, then you may just have stumbled upon a surprise party and you have nothing to worry about.
4. Flirting. Another obvious signs, when your husband or wife flirts, they may not notice it, but it is very obvious to other people that they are more than friends. Do friends flirt with each other? Sometimes, maybe as a joke, but if it is done more often than not, then it is definitely a sure sign they are going past the normal friend boundaries. Examples of flirting are either telling each other inside jokes, being overly touchy with each other, tickling, talking and laughing a lot with each other, especially when they think they are alone, or whispering to each other when they are in a crowd. Flirting is a sign that they have developed into something more than a friendship, and all emotional affairs are where cheating husbands or cheating wives start out.
5. Complementing the friend too much. Do you notice your husband or wife giving out compliments to this one friend, but less to other friends, or even less to you? Another obvious sign to watch out for. When you ask about this, all your spuse does is shrug it off or tell you they don't notice it and you're making up things. There are situations though that this person deserves the complements, but this doesn't always mean your husband should be throwing complements all year round. More than friends, possibly(coupled with other signs, yes), cheating on you, not a very revealing sign but worth it to pay attention to catch a husband before he gets to the cheating part.
6. The famous calling out of a different name in their sleep. There's really nothing more needed to say about this, it's in a spouse's natural instincts to immediately confront after hearing their spouse call out some other person's name. Now if the name calling out happens when both of you are awake, and in the middle of..intimate relationships..you definitely NEED to confront him, because that is as obvious as a sign of a cheating husband can get!
7. You catch your husband or wife having a secret date with this friend. You confront them, and they both are stunned and act like they are hiding something. Of course they will act like that, they're DATING behind your back! At this point, you will need to tell him to stop being friends with this person, or whatever compromise you can think of. If you're a guy, and you catch your wife dating another man, please try to be civil. I know some men cannot control themselves and will immediately resort to violence, but when you do that you risk getting thrown in jail instead of getting back at her by divorcing her, and leaving her sorry that she ever betrayed you by suing her pants off. The feeling you get when you win a divorce case is great, even when you feel down knowing you won and won most of your assets in a divorce just makes it all that better. I still remember the look on my cheating husband's face when I left him after I won, priceless :)
8. Pay attention whenever you confront your husband or wife. When they keep defending or taking the side of the "friend" after you tell them not to see or talk to them anymore, your spouse may be having an emotional affair with them. Close to half of all emotional affairs turn into full time affairs which involve not only emotional intimacy, but also physical intimacy.
9. The "friend" of your wife or husband starts talking about his or her new girl/boyfriend, who remains unnamed. They may talk about the date they have had in a classy place, or the new flowers that were sent to them, or new jewelry, clothes, and maybe even about the wonderful sex they are having together. Watch closely and check your credit card bills, bank account, your spouse's clothes for any crumpled up or balled up receipts.
10. Your husband has become such a "helpful neighbor". He volunteers to help do this and do that, he helps teach her how to use tools, fix her garage, lift heavy equipment, etc. They may all be excuses to hang out with each other. This is not always a sign that they are having sex and your husband is cheating, but it may just mean your husband would want some time to talk or actually hang out. This, like all affairs, can start out innocent at first, but once two people get too close to each other attraction starts to build up. They may find the other helpful, funny, or whatever they find attractive, and they will want more of it. When the emotional affair begins, they will also find that they are getting attracted to each other physically, and will eventually want to have physical relationships. So if you can, whenever your spouse offers to help this "friend", try to accompany them to make sure no boundaries are crossed.
In order for you to have a happy marriage or relationship, you have to have the proper marriage principles. Just by having proper marriage principles, you can avoid or prevent infidelity altogether. The boundaries of your marriage will be kept intact and neither of you will break it, both of you will be satisfied and avoid neglecting each other, you'll end up spending more time together and making more mutual decision on things or activities you do not normally do. The benefits of knowing and abiding by proper marriage principles are just too important to overlook.
It is always better to prevent adultery/infidelity by building a solid foundation in your marriage than dealing with the after effects and coping with your cheating spouse.
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