Reader submission. Edited out abit of the dirty language used, personal details and linked some of your words to related posts.
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In a post done by Kris, we can see that wives are more prone to emotional affairs than husbands, because women are more emotional than men. It's how they're built, I'm not making it up, i read the article and the article links, and searched wikipedia. Chances are if your wife is going to be having an affair it will first start out as an emotional affair, not as outright physical like what most men experience, or seek. I learned this the hardway, and I came across this blog while doing some research. You can add me on ****** and I can show you my ex-wife's profile.(no personal details, that includes facebook)
Let me share my story about how I ended up divorcing my wife who had an emotional affair.
It started with my wife (newly wed, we weren't even 5 months in) spending enormous amounts of time online. It's crazy, she can spend the whole day in front of the computer. At first I thought it was fine since she lost her job after we got married, I thought it would be a good idea for her to find something that will keep her busy. First she was just looking at designer clothes, and following random people's blogs, then I noticed that she was starting to join forums. All of that was normal so I didn't really pay attention, since everything was mostly clothing related forums, or other fashion related sites that I was not really interested in. A few months later, I start noticing that her facebook account was starting to get new friends. We both have facebook, and her account was starting to get new friends, guy friends. Being a guy, that made me jealous so I started snooping. She was getting inappropriate comments on her pictures and seemed like she was enjoying all the attention. I butted in and made it known that I was her husband. In a not so direct confrontational way, just to make a point. She got mad at me, like she was embarrassed that I made it known she wasn't single or something.
Here's where I got really suspicious. She STOPPED being active on her facebook page. I snooped even more, and like a good detective, I investigated the profiles of all the previous commenters on her pictures. I found her new secret facebook account that way and started viewing it everyday. She posted new pictures that she took at home, some of them inappropriate, using the new clothes she's bought that were quite revealing. I asked her about what she does online, and she told me just surfing. I specifically asked her about facebook, and she said she hasn't used her account for weeks. Notice how good of a liar my ex-wife is? Everything she told me was true, she was surfing, and she has not used her facebook. Because she created a secret facebook account, that's why.
What did I do? Researched on keyloggers because even though I could track her internet browsing history, I couldn't read the chats she had with this guy, the same guy who left inappropriate comments on her pictures. I did not install anything yet because I did not imagine my wife could lie to me that much, I held off until after I questioned her about her facebook friends.
I needed to know, so I asked her if she was still talking to that guy, and that I know she has a secret facebook account. I also know that she's chatting with him, I just wanted her to come clean so we could talk about it. She denied it and told me I was too jealous and paranoid. That's when I installed a keylogger. What I discovered was that not only is he her "online boyfriend" but also they were going to meet "soon". I glued my eyes to the recorded chats everyday, pretending I knew nothing about what was going on. She started being nice to me after I stopped confronting her, we were even more active in the bedroom department. I guess I was her "practice" til she met that guy.
Their chats not only became dirtier and dirtier, she also started telling him how she felt that our marriage was a mistake, and she lost her job because of me. That hurt reading, because I remember quite clearly that she said it would be okay for us to move to MY home because I made almost 3x more money than what she was making. Now it's my fault she's jobless? He (the facebookguy) told her that I needed to feel masculine and didn't want her to have a job because it would hurt my ego. What a bunch of BS, he was clearly manipulating her feelings and making her feel like he's all good and I'm the evil womanizer who wanted her to be subservient.
I waited patiently until I found out the date and time of the meet up, and confronted both of them at a hotel room. I brought a long a guy friend of mine who really wanted to kick his ass. We didn't do anything physical to him, but I did tell my now ex-wife I have everything recorded as well as an attorney to get us divorced. I showed her the chatlogs and told her to stop trying to lie her way out of the hole she dug. I don't care if it was a one time thing. I will never be with a woman who would say such things about me behind my back. In one of the conversations she brought my mom into it and said she was a lying controlling *. I hope she gets cheated on by that grease ball she had an emotional affair with.
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Post by YouCantHurt.(you didn't leave a name so I used part of your email) If you would like to share something to us, use the contact page. We will not spam you or reveal your identity. You can also use the Cheating Spouse Stories page if you would rather not send us an email, or post it yourself on the surviving infidelity forum.
I would recommend anyone to not confront their spouses like this until after they've gathered enough evidence.
What you did could have backfired because you confronted her first before you actually started gathering proof.
Things you should consider before doing anything like this :
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In a post done by Kris, we can see that wives are more prone to emotional affairs than husbands, because women are more emotional than men. It's how they're built, I'm not making it up, i read the article and the article links, and searched wikipedia. Chances are if your wife is going to be having an affair it will first start out as an emotional affair, not as outright physical like what most men experience, or seek. I learned this the hardway, and I came across this blog while doing some research. You can add me on ****** and I can show you my ex-wife's profile.(no personal details, that includes facebook)
Let me share my story about how I ended up divorcing my wife who had an emotional affair.
It started with my wife (newly wed, we weren't even 5 months in) spending enormous amounts of time online. It's crazy, she can spend the whole day in front of the computer. At first I thought it was fine since she lost her job after we got married, I thought it would be a good idea for her to find something that will keep her busy. First she was just looking at designer clothes, and following random people's blogs, then I noticed that she was starting to join forums. All of that was normal so I didn't really pay attention, since everything was mostly clothing related forums, or other fashion related sites that I was not really interested in. A few months later, I start noticing that her facebook account was starting to get new friends. We both have facebook, and her account was starting to get new friends, guy friends. Being a guy, that made me jealous so I started snooping. She was getting inappropriate comments on her pictures and seemed like she was enjoying all the attention. I butted in and made it known that I was her husband. In a not so direct confrontational way, just to make a point. She got mad at me, like she was embarrassed that I made it known she wasn't single or something.
Here's where I got really suspicious. She STOPPED being active on her facebook page. I snooped even more, and like a good detective, I investigated the profiles of all the previous commenters on her pictures. I found her new secret facebook account that way and started viewing it everyday. She posted new pictures that she took at home, some of them inappropriate, using the new clothes she's bought that were quite revealing. I asked her about what she does online, and she told me just surfing. I specifically asked her about facebook, and she said she hasn't used her account for weeks. Notice how good of a liar my ex-wife is? Everything she told me was true, she was surfing, and she has not used her facebook. Because she created a secret facebook account, that's why.
What did I do? Researched on keyloggers because even though I could track her internet browsing history, I couldn't read the chats she had with this guy, the same guy who left inappropriate comments on her pictures. I did not install anything yet because I did not imagine my wife could lie to me that much, I held off until after I questioned her about her facebook friends.
I needed to know, so I asked her if she was still talking to that guy, and that I know she has a secret facebook account. I also know that she's chatting with him, I just wanted her to come clean so we could talk about it. She denied it and told me I was too jealous and paranoid. That's when I installed a keylogger. What I discovered was that not only is he her "online boyfriend" but also they were going to meet "soon". I glued my eyes to the recorded chats everyday, pretending I knew nothing about what was going on. She started being nice to me after I stopped confronting her, we were even more active in the bedroom department. I guess I was her "practice" til she met that guy.
Their chats not only became dirtier and dirtier, she also started telling him how she felt that our marriage was a mistake, and she lost her job because of me. That hurt reading, because I remember quite clearly that she said it would be okay for us to move to MY home because I made almost 3x more money than what she was making. Now it's my fault she's jobless? He (the facebookguy) told her that I needed to feel masculine and didn't want her to have a job because it would hurt my ego. What a bunch of BS, he was clearly manipulating her feelings and making her feel like he's all good and I'm the evil womanizer who wanted her to be subservient.
I waited patiently until I found out the date and time of the meet up, and confronted both of them at a hotel room. I brought a long a guy friend of mine who really wanted to kick his ass. We didn't do anything physical to him, but I did tell my now ex-wife I have everything recorded as well as an attorney to get us divorced. I showed her the chatlogs and told her to stop trying to lie her way out of the hole she dug. I don't care if it was a one time thing. I will never be with a woman who would say such things about me behind my back. In one of the conversations she brought my mom into it and said she was a lying controlling *. I hope she gets cheated on by that grease ball she had an emotional affair with.
-
Post by YouCantHurt.(you didn't leave a name so I used part of your email) If you would like to share something to us, use the contact page. We will not spam you or reveal your identity. You can also use the Cheating Spouse Stories page if you would rather not send us an email, or post it yourself on the surviving infidelity forum.
I would recommend anyone to not confront their spouses like this until after they've gathered enough evidence.
What you did could have backfired because you confronted her first before you actually started gathering proof.
Things you should consider before doing anything like this :
- Did you research state laws? Installing a keylogger without reading the site's disclaimer or your local state laws could land you into jail.
- Did you consult with your lawyer before installing a keylogger? Your lawyer will know best what evidence can and can not be counted in a court of law.
- If you're going to bring someone, be 100% sure that they won't cause any problems. Like getting into a physical fight. Your spouse or the person they are cheating on you with could be the one suing you.
- Avoid confronting your spouse when you are in a place that could call security or police to throw you out of the establishment.
2 comments:
My husband of 48 years has had a number of emotional affairs. He is narcissistic, has low self esteem, and unable to accept responsibility. He continually refused counselling and blamed me. I first became suspicious 25 years ago and sought counselling for myself. Counsellor told me he had the 'itch to ditch' me and 4 little kids by treating us badly. So I stuck around so he was forced to support his family. I learned how to make myself happy and live without him. Sex meant nothing to me as he was probably 'banging' his fantasy girlfriend. So sex was scarce for that reason. No romance with me, no sex with me. I don't care anymore if he had sex with his girlfriends. Now we are 60, no intimacy and he wants to make a fresh start with me as he does not want to share his superannuation or his trophy house. So the shoe is on the other foot. What will I do? Beats me! He is making more effort with his children and they now like him. BTW he is no oil painting and his girlfriends showed no interest in him apart from getting him to build for them. So they used him. Sad.
Poster@2:18
Sounds like my dad. Narcissistic and irresponsible.
My mom was in a similar situation, she chose to forgive him and live on from there. That's a very tough decision to make, I myself couldn't bare it and got divorced to my first husband.
Both my parents are in theirs late 60s, they're happy, but I couldn't forgive my father so we kind of have a non-existent relationship.
I think it's great that your children like him, and I know I would have probably had an easier life with my father in it, but I'm just not as forgiving as my mother. It's a long story, but like yours, my father blamed my mother. He even gave a pathetic reason : "You were my first and only, I wanted to experience other women". Yes, that's so pathetic my mood gets ruined every time I remember it. The most pathetic thing about it was he pretended he was rich and had to pawn off (secretly) some of my mother's jewelry to buy the young gold diggers gifts. Ugh.
I would suggest you do what makes you feel happy. My mother is genuinely happy, and I am happy for her. I just can't stand being around my father anymore.
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