Reader email :
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My husband lets his girl workmate hug him real tight and kiss him on the cheek. He has never told me about it but I found out one time when I had to pick him up after work because his car was at the shop. I confronted him about it and he said that it was nothing and she always hugs and kisses him on the cheek whenever they were about to leave. *He* said that she does it with all her close friends, but I don't believe him because there was more than just him standing with her and he was the only one that got "special treatment". Could this be a sign that he is having sex with this woman and what should I do? I will confront him after I am done thinking this through. Any advice would be appreciated, please.
PS the girl is almost half his age, we are in our late forties.
Gina
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Gina, thank you for your email and sorry it took me so long to post. If you haven't noticed any of the signs of a cheating spouse, then it may not be a physical affair yet. Maybe your spouse is having an emotional affair.
I would suggest you talk to him about keeping your boundaries in check and remembering that he is married. It's prefectly reasonable to ask a spouse to maintain a certain "touch barrier" when dealing with the opposite sex.
I would take some time and read our guide on how to catch a cheating spouse, and then try out some of those methods. If you think that he isn't having an affair, physical or emotional, then you should start confronting him about how he interacts with his workmates, if you do think he is having an affair, because you've found evidence to back up some of the common signs of cheating, then I would hold on longer to be able to gather more evidence before starting the confrontation.
I bolded some phrases in your email, and here's what I think about it :
First, you should never let anyone other than your spouse KISS or HUG you; and if someone of the opposite sex DOES kiss or hug you, you should immediately tell your spouse about it, and tell that person to stop doing that. Hiding this from you, by saying "it was nothing she does it to everyone" when you said she didn't do it and only he got the "special treatment" also makes me think something is going on.
I can't be sure if it's a physical or emotional affair because you didn't really give me enough details, but an example of an emotional affair is if you caught your spouse telling someone else "I love you" or responding to someone else with "I love you too". Although kissing is a sign of intimacy, we just don't know how intimate they've already been.
My final thought is that you should keep an eye on him, without letting him know you are mad/angry. Let him think everything is back to normal, while you secretly monitor his actions for any signs of cheating.
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My husband lets his girl workmate hug him real tight and kiss him on the cheek. He has never told me about it but I found out one time when I had to pick him up after work because his car was at the shop. I confronted him about it and he said that it was nothing and she always hugs and kisses him on the cheek whenever they were about to leave. *He* said that she does it with all her close friends, but I don't believe him because there was more than just him standing with her and he was the only one that got "special treatment". Could this be a sign that he is having sex with this woman and what should I do? I will confront him after I am done thinking this through. Any advice would be appreciated, please.
PS the girl is almost half his age, we are in our late forties.
Gina
-----
Gina, thank you for your email and sorry it took me so long to post. If you haven't noticed any of the signs of a cheating spouse, then it may not be a physical affair yet. Maybe your spouse is having an emotional affair.
I would suggest you talk to him about keeping your boundaries in check and remembering that he is married. It's prefectly reasonable to ask a spouse to maintain a certain "touch barrier" when dealing with the opposite sex.
I would take some time and read our guide on how to catch a cheating spouse, and then try out some of those methods. If you think that he isn't having an affair, physical or emotional, then you should start confronting him about how he interacts with his workmates, if you do think he is having an affair, because you've found evidence to back up some of the common signs of cheating, then I would hold on longer to be able to gather more evidence before starting the confrontation.
I bolded some phrases in your email, and here's what I think about it :
First, you should never let anyone other than your spouse KISS or HUG you; and if someone of the opposite sex DOES kiss or hug you, you should immediately tell your spouse about it, and tell that person to stop doing that. Hiding this from you, by saying "it was nothing she does it to everyone" when you said she didn't do it and only he got the "special treatment" also makes me think something is going on.
I can't be sure if it's a physical or emotional affair because you didn't really give me enough details, but an example of an emotional affair is if you caught your spouse telling someone else "I love you" or responding to someone else with "I love you too". Although kissing is a sign of intimacy, we just don't know how intimate they've already been.
My final thought is that you should keep an eye on him, without letting him know you are mad/angry. Let him think everything is back to normal, while you secretly monitor his actions for any signs of cheating.
2 comments:
My fiancé suddenly joins the gym as he did before but went only for 1 week. He has the bag in car trunk with clothes. I believe he uses work as an excuse to go other places or leaving late when he knows I'm at work (nights) when I'm off he comes to see me but I believe he plans his activities around my time working at nights. In the past he'd visited me late nights when he can't sleep. I believe he's doing that again only with someone else. He came to see me two days ago and could not have a hard on. This happened once before when he chested. I asked him if he's cheating again of course he said no. Uh huh. So he wanted to leave I told him to go on. He turned back around (we were to meet somewhere for a cheesesteaks) but he would continue home in his car an I in mine. All of a sudden he said I think I better stay. I said ok. So instead of continuing in two cars we turned around to park his car and to travel in mine it took me two minutes to get back to my place to park and coming from the same spot it took him 10 on a one way street! I sat in my car waiting fit him. I believe he was first rushing to leave because He had planned to meet with someone else so he spent that ten min to call them to cancel. He left the jeans he wore and the was cum stains on the zipper Then on sunday he planned to see me but then called and cancelled said he has to work.
How do I know you are not a robot yourself?
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