Since this blog started, there have been around 300 comments, and most of these comments have been people stating that they are "so miserable", but still "want to make it work".This is NOT how a relationship should be, and maybe you should consider getting a divorce. You might be thinking "what?? a divorce? It's not serious, I can deal with it." right? My question to you is why do you think divorce is a bad thing for you? Divorce is almost always a good thing for you, maybe a good thing for your children as well in the long run
Why is divorce a good thing?
1. There has been zero happy relationships that have been ended because of a divorce.That's the truth. I don't think there are any truly happy relationships that have been ended by a divorce. A divorce is a good thing because if you are thinking of one, you are most probably in an awful relationship with a partner who refuses to change.
2. Raising children in an unhappy marriage will affect them negatively a lot more than raising children as a single parent. I know alot of single moms and single dads whose children grow up happy and live "normal" lives. I don't know a single child who grew up happy living under a roof where their parents are constantly fighting and yelling at each other. It's abusive to you and your children if you keep living a miserable life. The key to being happy in a relationship, or life even, is not being miserable and having to live with something you don't have to.
3. It is very liberating. Especially if you had to sacrifice to keep a relationship going, while your spouse never reciprocated. After a divorce you can just focus on you, or you and your kids if you have any. It's not the end of the world, it's just the end of a bad relationship. No more having to blame yourself, no more having to put up with things you were forced to put up with. It's just you focusing on you and how to improve the quality of your life.
Here's a few scenarios where you SHOULD consider ending your relationship with a nice quick divorce.
1. You caught your spouse cheating. They promised to do this and that, but when it comes time do what they said, you get little to no action. If your spouse has even the tiniest bit of respect for you and values your relationship, they'd at least bother to go to marriage counseling with you at least ONCE.
2. Your spouse is overly flirts and you confronted them about it. They repeatedly shrug it off and say "it's nothing", even though it is against marriage and a disrespect to you as a person when they flirt with someone else. If your spouse refuses to even consider talking about this, then you can be sure if an opportunity to have an emotional affair rears itself, your spouse will most likely take it. Overly flirting and undermining YOUR needs and the boundaries of your marriage is a sign that your relationship maybe on the rocks. Especially if this is the first time you've had your relationship "tested" and a compromise needed to be made.
3. You are sick of being lied to. Getting lied to a couple of times, maybe you could look passed that. Getting lied to for years, I say divorce your spouse. To quote possibly the most intelligent man who has ever lived on the planet Earth, "Insanity : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."- Albert Einstein
Just remember that if it feels like you're forcing it to work, you probably are. It won't last if you're the only one trying to save your marriage.
Why is divorce a good thing?
1. There has been zero happy relationships that have been ended because of a divorce.That's the truth. I don't think there are any truly happy relationships that have been ended by a divorce. A divorce is a good thing because if you are thinking of one, you are most probably in an awful relationship with a partner who refuses to change.
2. Raising children in an unhappy marriage will affect them negatively a lot more than raising children as a single parent. I know alot of single moms and single dads whose children grow up happy and live "normal" lives. I don't know a single child who grew up happy living under a roof where their parents are constantly fighting and yelling at each other. It's abusive to you and your children if you keep living a miserable life. The key to being happy in a relationship, or life even, is not being miserable and having to live with something you don't have to.
3. It is very liberating. Especially if you had to sacrifice to keep a relationship going, while your spouse never reciprocated. After a divorce you can just focus on you, or you and your kids if you have any. It's not the end of the world, it's just the end of a bad relationship. No more having to blame yourself, no more having to put up with things you were forced to put up with. It's just you focusing on you and how to improve the quality of your life.
Here's a few scenarios where you SHOULD consider ending your relationship with a nice quick divorce.
1. You caught your spouse cheating. They promised to do this and that, but when it comes time do what they said, you get little to no action. If your spouse has even the tiniest bit of respect for you and values your relationship, they'd at least bother to go to marriage counseling with you at least ONCE.
2. Your spouse is overly flirts and you confronted them about it. They repeatedly shrug it off and say "it's nothing", even though it is against marriage and a disrespect to you as a person when they flirt with someone else. If your spouse refuses to even consider talking about this, then you can be sure if an opportunity to have an emotional affair rears itself, your spouse will most likely take it. Overly flirting and undermining YOUR needs and the boundaries of your marriage is a sign that your relationship maybe on the rocks. Especially if this is the first time you've had your relationship "tested" and a compromise needed to be made.
3. You are sick of being lied to. Getting lied to a couple of times, maybe you could look passed that. Getting lied to for years, I say divorce your spouse. To quote possibly the most intelligent man who has ever lived on the planet Earth, "Insanity : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."- Albert Einstein
Just remember that if it feels like you're forcing it to work, you probably are. It won't last if you're the only one trying to save your marriage.
2 comments:
Is divorce ever a good thing? I'm on the verge of forcing myself to leave my wife because of the extremely flirtatious behavior she displays right in front of me. I can only guess what she does behind my back. It feels so emasculating having to see my wife laughing with another guy while he is obviously physically enjoying her company. What do I tel my kids? Kids are the last string that is tying me down to my wife.
I say yes, do it. It takes a real man to admit when he's in a losing battle. I have to concede as well. Even though I thought I loved this woman with all my heart almost a decade ago..now it just tears me to pieces seeing her.
Even before she cheated I was having doubts. The affair was the wake up call. I spent a decade of my life being loyal for nothing.
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