How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Semen Testing Kits - Detect Sperm Stain On Articles of Clothing

2011-06-13T05:23:00.000-07:00

Sperm detection kits - useful or waste of money?

What used to be only available to CSI/detectives, can now be bought online for a cheap $30-50 per "kit". But are semen test kits really worth $30 to $50?

In my opinion, any type of disposable semen detector is a waste of money. For $50, you could buy a cell phone spy, GPS car tracker, or a software based keylogger. A typical semen detection kit costs anywhere between $30 (for a five strip kit), to $50 (for a 25 strip kit), and once you use up those strips, you've used up your money.

In order for this kit to be even slightly useful, you'd have to apply them to all articles of clothing your spouse has used during the day/week/month or however long your investigation lasts. That means potentially hundreds of dollars will be used just to keep buying these sperm detectors until you are satisfied that no cheating is going on, not very efficient.

If you've read the signs of a cheating spouse article, in it I mention one of the common signs a cheater displays : heading immediately to the bathroom when they get home. They do that to double check their clothing, and clean up their bodies. Another sign is packing a change of clothes with them, real common for cheaters who use the "gym" excuse to leave the house. Your kits will be useless against a smart cheater, and although semen stains can last for a few months when left alone, if the stain is properly cleaned, it won't be detected by the kits nor any type of UV black light.

Reasons you SHOUDN'T buy a semen testing kit :

These test kits are mainly designed for men to catch their wives or girlfriends cheating. If you're a woman, you wouldn't need to detect for semen unless you suspect the affair happening at home, or in the car. Even then it's still unreliable because there's always going to be an excuse for it : "I masturbated"; the results of your test won't count for anything because of that excuse, and what I always recommend is NEVER confront unless you can 100% prove your accusations.

It's EXPENSIVE. $30 to $50 is not, but the amount of strips you are going to need will not be as little as you think. You'll use up the 5 or 25 strips you buy, then you'll start thinking "what if I just missed it? I should get more". A box of testing strips (25 stirps) will cost you $50, how many articles of clothing, bedsheets, or car seat covers are you going to check for semen stains? This could last as little as a week or a month, especially if you're at that stage where you just recently discovered possible signs of an affair and are extremely paranoid.

For men : you could mistakenly detect your own semen. Semen, when not properly washed out of clothing, will stain it; semen stains can last for several months unless cleaned properly. While you may feel like some kind of CSI or private eye doing your own sperm test at home, you will need to make sure there was absolutely none of YOUR own semen on the clothing, bedsheets, or car covers you are testing. This is not a DNA test, it's a simple semen detector, so you won't be able to tell if it's yours or someone elses. You might even need to test everything twice, once where you normally go about your life, and again after you withhold any type of sexual encounter with your spouse to eliminate the chance of you detecting your own sperm.

For those who still want to buy a semen detection kit

Make sure you buy a cheap UV blacklight along with your semen detection kit, it will save you a lot of money on wasted strips.

A UV blacklight will illuminate any dried semen, along with any other types of bodily fluid stains on your clothing, bedspreads, or car seats. From there, you can smartly use your test strips to determine whether or not it's semen.

There's so much more cost effective options available to you than doing your own semen test at home, which I still don't believe contributes anything for catching a cheating husband because of the above excuse I mentioned.

Maybe if the kits only cost $5 per 25 strips, I would happily recommend using it, but $30 for 5? or even $50 for 25 strips? Not worth it to use for women, and expensive to use for men; not a recommended way to catch a cheating spouse.

Note : I just saw the top semen spy kit being talked about on Jay Leno the other day! Someone was selling it on ebay for $80!

Software Keyloggers For Macs And Windows

2011-05-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

In the original keylogger article, we only talked about hardware keyloggers for the PC, I've done some updating on the old article to keep the information fresh, bought a new keylogger and did some research on mac compatible keyloggers. If you haven't already done so, check out the first article catch a cheating spouse with keyloggers.

Like the cell phone spies comparison, I've chosen a cheap simple keylogger VS a complex pc/mac monitoring software, so you can decide which one you want.

The reasons I chose the first one is because of the price (one time fee = unbeatable price in my opinion), and it has everything you need to catch a cheater on the computer.

I chose the second keylogger to give you more options; I honestly find the "live monitoring" of a mac or pc to be too much and detrimental to your goal of catching a cheating spouse. It will drive you insane and may cause you to spend all your time watching the laptop live. The added features also drive the price up, and I dislike subscription based products.

I only bought the first keylogger, because it was cheap and I can use it on my kid's laptops. I did buy the second one after demo testing it but returned it after (the demo is very limited). Keylogger 2 had too many features I did not need plus it's subscription based. You can find the demos for keylogger 1 and 2 below (windows only).

Keylogger 1 "Perfect Keylogger" (for Macs and PCs)

Perfect Keylogger by Blazing Tools costs $34.95 for the basic keylogger, $44.95 for the basic keylogger with added password recording.

Links :
Product Page (mac)
Product Page (windows)
Purchase (mac)
Purchase (windows)
Trial Version (windows direct download link). Unfortunately they don't offer trials for macs.
Contact their support for inquiries, there's a link on every page to send them an email.

The filename of the keylogger trial download for windows should be i_bpk2007.exe. Here's a screenshot of the virus scan I did on the trial version for windows :

And here's a link to a list of multiple virus scans on the same file, it's clean except for one scanner that detected the file to be "damaged".

Features of the "Perfect Keylogger"

CHEAP - The best feature, it's a one time payment fee software. Although they charge extra for password recording, it's still worth it considering it's competition is charging you $10 or so per month. When I buy something, I want to own it, not rent it; I dislike any subscription based gadgets.

Records Keystrokes - Records all keystrokes, even on websites that are password protected (email contents, hidden facebook or myspace pages, or personal chat rooms).

Undetectable - Typical virus scanners and anti spamware won't detect "Perfect keylogger" once you've installed it on your mac or pc.

Keyword Email Alerts - One of the advantages software keyloggers have over the hardware based ones are features like this. In the settings page, you can input several keywords to monitor. When the spy software detects anything on your list, it sends you an email. Perfect if you know or suspect your spouse is cheating with someone named "Jenny", you can have an email sent to you when that name is typed. Take a look at the example screenshot.

Simple To Use - No tech skills required to use or install. They do offer a "quick install builder" for an additional $10, but don't fall for it. Save your $10, instead spend an extra ten minutes to read through the settings, it's quite intuitive and easy to setup. You could also spend the extra $10 on the password recording feature.

Lifetime Support - If for some reason it doesn't work for you, you can email or call tech support for free help, or you could refund if it's within their 100% money back guarantee period (60 days).

Lifetime Updates - This is another reason why you should buy the "Perfect Keylogger", for a one time fee you get unlimited updates. That means if an anti virus or anti spyware software installed on the computer patches their software to detect this keylogger, Blazing Tools will eventually release a patch of their own to keep the keylogger undetected and fully functioning.

Task Manager Invisible (windows) - When you press CTRL + ALT + Delete on your windows pc, it brings up a menu which lets you access the task manager. The task manager displays all the programs currently running on your computer (explorer.exe, YahooMessenger.exe, Firefox.exe, etc). The perfect keylogger is not detected and remains invisible.

Password Capture - Optional (an added $10) password recording for all applications. This is the only downside of the product for me. They should have just changed the price to $44.95, cause this is a feature most people need. For the windows version, this comes in with the standard $34.95 version.

Chat Logging - Log all chat sessions on iChat, Adium, Skype, Yahoo, MSN, AIM, Facebook, Adium, and other popular messengers or websites. Keylogging of chat sessions are for both people in the conversation, not just what is being typed on your computer like most hardware keyloggers do.

Web Logging - Logs all websites visited on mac browsers (Safari, Opera, and Firefox)

Screen Capture - Ability to set the keylogger to take screenshots using the target feature.

Snapshot Capture - Like the screen capture, you can set your iSight camera to take snapshots of YOUR ROOM (and the person using the mac) while you aren't there.

Remote Monitoring - Let the software email you the reports, screenshots/websites included. You can check the results from anywhere you can access an email (iPhone/Windows PC). Another added bonus is compatibility with iDisk and FTP (for website owners).

Multiple installs - You can install the keylogger on each account on your mac.
Multiple Language Support - English, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, Thai, Etc.

Perfect Keylogger System Requirements :

Mac OS X 10.4.x, 10.5.x or 10.6.x (10.5.x or later recommended)

Works on any Mac (iMac, Mac Book, Mac Book Pro, Mac Book Air, Mac Pro, Mac mini) produced since Jan 2006. Also compatible with older Power PC Macs with Mac OS X 10.4.x and 10.5.x.

Windows 2000 or later, Internet Explorer 5.0 or later.

Internet connection is required for both Macs and PCs if you are going to use the email alert or online storage features.

Keylogger 2 "Sniper Spy" (for Macs and PCs)

SniperSpy costs $39.97 quarterly, $59.97 semi-anually, and $79.97 anually.

Why does it cost a subscription? Because unlike perfect keylogger which stores your files locally or emails your reports, sniper spy stores all the data on their servers, and it gives you more complex features like remotely controlling the computer or laptop your installed the software on.

Links:
Product Page (mac)
Product Page (windows)
Purchase quarterly (mac)
Purchase quarterly (windows)
The demo is available online, just view the windows product page and click on "Online Demo". This will take you to the backend of the software. They are similar for both windows and macs.

Features of "Sniper Spy"

Basically, this is "Perfect Keylogger" on steroids. Most of the added features are remote monitoring features, and remote access capabilities.

Backend View of Sniper Spy

Location Tracking - This feature is like having a GPS device installed in your computer. It records the IP address of the Mac or PC that is being tracked to determine it's location and shows you the coordinates on Google Maps.

Click to enlarge

Live Screen View - Provided the target mac or pc is actively being used on the internet, you can view their screen just how they are seeing it. This include live keystroke tracking, live chat tracking, and viewing access to what programs they are currently running. This is the only feature that justifies the subscription fee they offer. If you don't need live monitoring of your spouse's computer or laptop, skip this and get the first keylogger.

Browse and Download Files Remotely - Like the live screen view, you can access the computer's folders and view the files from anywhere. This is another overkill feature in my opinion. If you feel that you need to stealthily access their hard drive and download files from their laptop to your computer, this should help. But you wouldn't really need this when catching a cheating spouse, all you need is to find out if they are having an affair online so you can confront them about it.

Remote Control, Literally - This is not something you want to do. Like I've said repeatedly on this site, you want your spouse to not know you are on to the affair so they won't get better at keeping secrets.

The "remote control" features of this keylogger are more suited if you are monitoring a child surfing the internet, and employee, or a relative surfing things you do not approve of on your mac/computer. Another reason that justifies the subscription cost, SniperSpy gives you the capability to :

Start applications, undetected.
Forcibly log a user out and take them back to the login screen.
Shut down or restart your mac or pc.
And my favorite, for monitoring kids, the ability to send them a warning (see pic below)

Click to Enlarge

Those are the only differences between keylogger 1 and keylogger 2. Another pro for Sniper Spy is that they have a customer support hotline you can call : 1-888-475-5345. You most likely won't need it though since the instructions and on site guides, for both keyloggers 1 and 2, are easy to follow.

Sniper Spy Keylogger System Requirements :

Mac OS X v10.6 Snow Leopard or Mac OS X v10.5 Leopard
Windows 2000/XP/Vista/7
An internet connection of at least 56k speed.

What keylogger should you buy?

For windows desktop users, get the hardware keylogger found on the original article. Why? It's a cheap piece of equipment that does everything we want, help us find out if our spouses are having an affair. A cheap keylogger is anywhere between $10-50 depending on the memory size.

For windows and mac laptop users, I recommend the first keylogger, perfect keylogger, because it's cheap, and does the job well. No need to go James Bond with Keylogger 2, remember the goal is just to find out about the affair so we can prevent it from getting worse. Not be obsessed and monitor our spouse's live 24/7.

More ways to catch a cheating spouse can be found at the guide. If you are planning on just downloading some random software you found while searching for "free keyloggers", you might want to read this article first : "Free" Keyloggers and Cell phone Spies

Freeware Keyloggers And Cellphone Spies - Stay Far Far Away

2011-04-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

Why you should never use free keyloggers and free cell phone spies

If you've read the catch a cheating spouse guide, you'll know that we promote the cheaper alternatives over the professional private investigators, and even list possible free alternatives to the paid methods of catching a cheater. I'm all for saving money but -and this is a very important but- not when you are risking your private personal information.

Did you know most of these so called "free keyloggers" are actually trojans/viruses designed to steal your private information and passwords? Same for mobile phone "free software". Everything nowadays is digital, so it's not uncommon for people to do their banking online. Which makes them targets for unethical hackers (yes, there are ethical hackers). Any software that promises you something that seems too good to be true, and it costs NOTHING, is more often than not a scam.

Sure you can get it for free and test it, then remove it when it doesn't work, but is it really off of your system for good or do you now have a virus installed? This is what happens to hundreds of thousands of people who rely on dodgy freeware instead of paying for their softwares. Instead of being able to monitor your own computer at home and protecting your kids / catching a cheater, you get your computer infected by a trojan virus and risk losing thousands of dollars because you wanted to save on spending $30-60 for a reliable software backed by an actual business.

Here's an example where a free software steals your private information and emails it to the creator of the malware you just installed :

" I noticed that every time a user adds their account to the program to back up their data, it sends and email with their username and password to his(malware creator's) personal email box! Having just entered my own information I became concerned." View the whole post

In the above example, the software being downloaded was not even a keylogger or cellphone spy, it was a program that helped you create local offline gmail archives. The person downloading it was a CODER, and even he didn't know that it was malware until it was too late.

Now think about what you are doing, you want to save a couple of bucks and get a free mobile spy or keylogger. If you take a look at the above, a program that has nothing to do with keyloggers, stole this person's usernames and passwords, how much worse could this be if you downloaded an actual keylogger that was designed to record your computer's activity? Not only will your usernames and passwords be recorded, but everything you type on the computer will be recorded and sent. The worst part is, you will be ignoring the alerts of any type of anti virus programs you have on because you'll be thinking "hey, this is a program that I installed, so this must be a fake signal".

I am not bashing on freeware at all, I'm just saying that when it comes to things that are as important as monitoring your computer's activity, I would rather buy from a reputable site. If I get infected, I have an email or contact number to use. If my personal information gets stolen, there's an actual company that you can contact (or sue). If you use freeware from one of the anonymous people who submit them, you may end up losing your bank account password or paypal information.

It's like picking a voodoo witch doctor, over an actual doctor who graduated from medical school. Yes, it's that severe if you do any type of online shopping or banking.

Still looking for a freeware keylogger? You know the risks. I would only ever download freeware on a computer that is totally empty, and never gets used for online banking, shopping, paypal, ebay or anything connected to my hard earned real life cash. $30-60 vs your personal information being stolen. It's your choice, I'm just trying to persuade you that the risk is far greater than the reward.

If you've already made up your mind and I can't convince you to NOT download free software spies, then why not try this mobile phone spy, which has a 2 month trial (with a 100% money back guarantee). Even if you have no reason to spend money on it, you will have the full product for free for the next 59 days until you decide to cancel and return it. (I will update this post when I find a similar keylogger software that has a fully functional free trial)

Products that are sold are far safer because you are dealing with an actual merchant. A merchant who has to register a business, get a merchant account at paypal or other payment processors, and verify their existence. Online merchants have to jump through a lot of hoops just to get to sell their products, and if they sell you viruses, they get sued and lose millions. Wouldn't you rather try their fully functional demo than download a "free" software spy from an anonymous/faceless coder that could potentially get your PC or Mac hacked?

If you want to save money, keyloggers, celphone spies, gps devices, and other types of software spies are NOT the place to skimp on. The best place you can save cash on is information, such as the information we provide here, for free. Compare the cheating spouse guide linked above to any kind of ebook you can get, and you'll see we have better information(that constantly changes) than any ebook, and our price is unbeatable :-)

Just out of curiosity though, I bought a "catch a cheating spouse guide! guaranteed" ebook for $50 dollars, and another ebook "Learn the truth! Find out whether or not your spouse is cheating on you!" for $30. What did I find in it? The same things we teach you here, but they don't talk about nearly as much about the things we teach here, and we do it for FREE, not for $50 a book. Why do we have more info? Because after 3 years of being online, dozens of readers have shared their own methods and opinions on everything, causing our content to evolve every few months. We are very grateful to those that email us their stories and how they've dealt with their problems.

How did we find out about these ebooks? Because they regularly add spam to our comments, and hey, if they work that hard, might as well give them a shot right? Not really, I just wanted to see if I should approve their comments or not. If the books they sold actually offered value to readers here, I wouldn't keep them locked up in the spam prison blogger.com has banished them too.

If you want to save money, this is the place to do it. You don't need an ebook that costs $50 to catch a cheating spouse, you can just use our free cheating spouse guide. If there are things we missed on how to catch someone cheating, guess what, when a reader emails or comments about it, we add the new methods (or try the product ourselves before considering it). The only time I consider getting an ebook is when it's written by an actual known person in the fields I'm interested in, or something I know there won't be any other places to get it from (recipe ebooks, I always buy those without question).

Another thing an ebook will never give you is the ability to vent your frustrations to like minded people who understand you. I know, we take a while to answer emails, but we've recently started a Surviving Infidelity Forums so people can give each other advice.There's still also the cheating spouse stories page for those that want to leave their experiences for others to learn from.

So if you want to save, save on informational products like guides to catch your spouse cheating. Do not try and save a few bucks on keyloggers or anything that could potentially be dangerous. Please think very long and hard before you buy any software designed to monitor your computer or cell phone, and be very skeptical when the software is "free".

Best Way To Hurt Cheating Spouse

2011-04-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

The majority of the emails, and comments that I do not publish share this theme, "What is the best way to hurt a cheating spouse?". My answer is simple, and it will always be my answer so do not email or ask in the comments again, please. Not trying to be a snob, I explain why I don't want to answer it again below.

Best Way To Hurt A Cheating Spouse

The best way to hurt a cheating spouse is by moving on and completely forgetting about them. Why? Because you are showing them that they aren't worth your time and you can forget about it and move on, easily. I know it's not easy, but that's what you want them to think. That's as much effort as you should exert to "hurt your spouse". Leave them, and leave them quick. Act like you aren't affected.

If you decide to stay with your spouse after an affair, then you need to stop this line of thinking because hurting your spouse back will not contribute to anything but the destruction of your relationship. If you want to have an affair yourself because your spouse had an affair, you may as well just end your relationship today and save both of you the time it would take to pretend you're in a relationship. Once you start thinking like this, your relationship is officially over.

Here are some WRONG reasons to stay in a relationship :

Fear of being alone
Probably one of the most common reasons why you would make your cheating husband stay with you. This is less seen in men because when women hit a certain age, it gets harder for them to find mates, while men just go for the younger women most of the time. Think about it, how often have you seen an older woman with a younger man? That's what I thought.

This is the way most of society think, and it's also the cause of so many bad relationships in my opinion. You should change the way you think about it to "Why would I stay with my cheating spouse and be miserable, when I can just be single". There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, it's a lot better to be single than to be in a miserable relationship.

For the children
I completely disagree with forcing yourself to stay in a relationship just "for the sake of the children". Sometimes I don't even believe it when people say that they stuck with their bad relationships for the children's sake.

Why? Because why would you want your child to grow up seeing you miserable? Do you think your kid will not notice? You can still give your child the best life you can give without degrading your own life by maintaining a relationship with someone that has abused your trust. More importantly, you do not want your child to grow up with a cheater as a role model, so it would actually make things worse if you stick to your relationship just for the sake of your child growing up in a "functional" / traditional family. You're lying to yourself if you think that.

Financial Support
Sometimes a spouse that is being cheated on will stay in their relationship simply because they have no other choice. I don't agree with this as well because you can always get a job. Sure your life won't be as easy as it was when you were being financially supported, but you won't have to be a slave.

You won't need to depend on someone for money, and you'll stop taking abusive actions such as your spouse cheating on you. Can't find a job yet? Go ask help from your family. It's never right to stay in a relationship just for the sake of money.

"True Love"
"True Love" is just another lie you tell yourself to stick to your relationship. True love to me is when your spouse is completely honest, and loyal to you, and you reciprocate. You get what you give, you can't just keep on giving and one day expect them to change because it's "true love".

That only happens in the movies. If your spouse cheated on you, they will continue to cheat on you until you catch them cheating or the person they are cheating on you with dumps them. Then they'll probably continue cheating, with someone else. No amount of "true love" can fix a relationship where only one person contributes.

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Yes, I'm blunt, I know. This isn't how I talk in regular conversation nor am I trying to be rude; this is how I talk to people that need to hear the truth, not hear what they want to hear. If you are currently suspecting your spouse of cheating on you, you need to snap out of that delusional phase and act. Here are some common problems with solutions linked.

Suspect husband is cheating, but can't prove it?
Everything you need to know to catch a cheating spouse is provided in the guide found on this site, for free. You have no excuse for not trying to catch your spouse cheating because we literally list down dozens of ways to catch a cheating spouse, and most of the paid ways to catch them cheating are supported by free alternatives. We will never recommend freeware to you, I'll post why when I have more time. Short answer is personal details and identity theft.

Do you already know that your husband or wife is cheating?
Then go to marriage counseling and begin working to repair the damage infidelity has done. Find a couples retreat that focuses on infidelity. Go google "marriage counseling *yourlocatiohere*" to find a local marriage counselor.

Don't have marriage counseling nearby, don't have enough money to pay for marriage counseling?
Take an online eCourse and stop making excuses or wonder how to save your marriage (online eCourse link) when all the answers are already given to you. STILL don't want to do that? Go to the forum linked below and talk to people in similar situations and ask for advice, or post on the cheating spouse stories page. You already took the first step by being on this website, now go start a plan on how to save your marriage, and follow through.

Don't look for reasons to delay the process, things like wanting to hurt your husband or wife back are not productive and will cause you more stress than help save your marriage. You might even begin to hate yourself because infidelity has changed you and your life so much. I know it's tough but you need to force yourself to deal with the problem.

Feel free to send us an email (found at the contact page), or join the surviving infidelity forums. It's free, anonymous, helps you vent and eases the pain of dealing with infidelity alone. Reading experiences from other individuals going through exactly the same troubles as you are is a great resource you should take advantage of.

Forgive the delays in moderation of comments here, and posts on the forum. If you would like to help out in the forum, I could request moderator status so you can help with the screening and approval of forum posts. Life is tough right now for my husband and I, we just moved and are still trying to settle in.

Good luck and I truly wish you the best, remember to seek support from the forum or contact us directly. Doing it alone is a lot tougher that you think.

Wife : Emotional Affairs

2011-04-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

Reader submission. Edited out abit of the dirty language used, personal details and linked some of your words to related posts.

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In a post done by Kris, we can see that wives are more prone to emotional affairs than husbands, because women are more emotional than men. It's how they're built, I'm not making it up, i read the article and the article links, and searched wikipedia. Chances are if your wife is going to be having an affair it will first start out as an emotional affair, not as outright physical like what most men experience, or seek. I learned this the hardway, and I came across this blog while doing some research. You can add me on ****** and I can show you my ex-wife's profile.(no personal details, that includes facebook)

Let me share my story about how I ended up divorcing my wife who had an emotional affair.

It started with my wife (newly wed, we weren't even 5 months in) spending enormous amounts of time online. It's crazy, she can spend the whole day in front of the computer. At first I thought it was fine since she lost her job after we got married, I thought it would be a good idea for her to find something that will keep her busy. First she was just looking at designer clothes, and following random people's blogs, then I noticed that she was starting to join forums. All of that was normal so I didn't really pay attention, since everything was mostly clothing related forums, or other fashion related sites that I was not really interested in. A few months later, I start noticing that her facebook account was starting to get new friends. We both have facebook, and her account was starting to get new friends, guy friends. Being a guy, that made me jealous so I started snooping. She was getting inappropriate comments on her pictures and seemed like she was enjoying all the attention. I butted in and made it known that I was her husband. In a not so direct confrontational way, just to make a point. She got mad at me, like she was embarrassed that I made it known she wasn't single or something.

Here's where I got really suspicious. She STOPPED being active on her facebook page. I snooped even more, and like a good detective, I investigated the profiles of all the previous commenters on her pictures. I found her new secret facebook account that way and started viewing it everyday. She posted new pictures that she took at home, some of them inappropriate, using the new clothes she's bought that were quite revealing. I asked her about what she does online, and she told me just surfing. I specifically asked her about facebook, and she said she hasn't used her account for weeks. Notice how good of a liar my ex-wife is? Everything she told me was true, she was surfing, and she has not used her facebook. Because she created a secret facebook account, that's why.

What did I do? Researched on keyloggers because even though I could track her internet browsing history, I couldn't read the chats she had with this guy, the same guy who left inappropriate comments on her pictures. I did not install anything yet because I did not imagine my wife could lie to me that much, I held off until after I questioned her about her facebook friends.

I needed to know, so I asked her if she was still talking to that guy, and that I know she has a secret facebook account. I also know that she's chatting with him, I just wanted her to come clean so we could talk about it. She denied it and told me I was too jealous and paranoid. That's when I installed a keylogger. What I discovered was that not only is he her "online boyfriend" but also they were going to meet "soon". I glued my eyes to the recorded chats everyday, pretending I knew nothing about what was going on. She started being nice to me after I stopped confronting her, we were even more active in the bedroom department. I guess I was her "practice" til she met that guy.

Their chats not only became dirtier and dirtier, she also started telling him how she felt that our marriage was a mistake, and she lost her job because of me. That hurt reading, because I remember quite clearly that she said it would be okay for us to move to MY home because I made almost 3x more money than what she was making. Now it's my fault she's jobless? He (the facebookguy) told her that I needed to feel masculine and didn't want her to have a job because it would hurt my ego. What a bunch of BS, he was clearly manipulating her feelings and making her feel like he's all good and I'm the evil womanizer who wanted her to be subservient.

I waited patiently until I found out the date and time of the meet up, and confronted both of them at a hotel room. I brought a long a guy friend of mine who really wanted to kick his ass. We didn't do anything physical to him, but I did tell my now ex-wife I have everything recorded as well as an attorney to get us divorced. I showed her the chatlogs and told her to stop trying to lie her way out of the hole she dug. I don't care if it was a one time thing. I will never be with a woman who would say such things about me behind my back. In one of the conversations she brought my mom into it and said she was a lying controlling *. I hope she gets cheated on by that grease ball she had an emotional affair with.

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Post by YouCantHurt.(you didn't leave a name so I used part of your email) If you would like to share something to us, use the contact page. We will not spam you or reveal your identity. You can also use the Cheating Spouse Stories page if you would rather not send us an email, or post it yourself on the surviving infidelity forum.

I would recommend anyone to not confront their spouses like this until after they've gathered enough evidence.

What you did could have backfired because you confronted her first before you actually started gathering proof.

Things you should consider before doing anything like this :

Did you research state laws? Installing a keylogger without reading the site's disclaimer or your local state laws could land you into jail.
Did you consult with your lawyer before installing a keylogger? Your lawyer will know best what evidence can and can not be counted in a court of law.
If you're going to bring someone, be 100% sure that they won't cause any problems. Like getting into a physical fight. Your spouse or the person they are cheating on you with could be the one suing you.
Avoid confronting your spouse when you are in a place that could call security or police to throw you out of the establishment.

Surviving Infidelity

2011-04-16T05:08:00.000-07:00

One of the toughest things you will ever do in your life is to forgive someone who has cheated on you. Surviving an affair, whether or not you choose to forgive your spouse is difficult; trying to cope with a cheating spouse alone without support of your family and friends makes it even harder. What I would suggest is that you take a break from your daily life, and start the necessary mourning process, but do it with people who know how you feel and will understand and support you.

What happened with me is something I would not want anyone to go through, and I hope if you are in the same position as I am right now you would take a while and read my story and do the opposite of what I did.

How I dealt with infidelity

I dealt with infidelity by holing up in my room and ignoring everyone who tried to contact me. After I told my (then) husband that it was over and we were getting a divorce, I dropped the kids off on my parent's house and told them I would be leaving for a month. In that month I isolated myself and mostly just cried my eyes out. I was unhealthy, some days I did not eat anything at all, one meal a day was mostly what I had before going back to my bed and sleeping it off.

I ignored my family, friends, and children completely, my kids did not know what was wrong with me and my parents had to lie to them. My parents knew my husband cheated on me, but I refused to accept help or support. My friends knew about the affair, but I was too embarrassed to tell them my husband cheated on me, and has been for the past few months. I was delusional, depressed, unhealthy, hateful, and embarrassed of what my relationship had become.Sometimes my crying turned into screaming, yelling, and cursing. I broke a lot of our things, threw plates against the wall, banged on the TV. I was out of control at times letting my emotions get the best of me.

If you have never been the victim of infidelity or have ever tried surviving an affair, you have NO IDEA what it feels like. It's like someone took part of your life away, and told you that you can never have it back. It's like being able to walk, and then suddenly getting hit by a car and needing to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. That's how bad it felt for me while I locked myself up. I contemplated suicide too, I was weak and naive.

Even though I knew there was no way of undoing anything my spouse had done to our relationship, I still continued to hope that it would magically fix itself and we'd be a happy family again. I spent some nights even praying to god that he'd make my husband realize what he is doing to me and our family.

It took me nearly half a year to finally divorce him, I was not able to make up my mind because just maybe he would have wanted to save our marriage. I was wrong and he stuck with his younger mistress. The man I thought he was when I met him was all a facade, and I guess my father was right for not liking him from the very beginning.

It took me almost 2 years before I started dating again. I found Michael, who like me, was cheated on by his spouse. After my delusional state when I still thought my husband was gong to change, I started participating on surviving infidelity forums all over the internet. A lot of them were helpful in my recovery, and some of them simply made me break down and cry because I knew exactly what they were talking about. Although I cried, it was still very much needed in feeling "normal" again. The way people looked at me after my husband had an affair was the look you'd give a homeless person who was dying. I felt so pathetic, if only they knew how hard it is to deal with infidelity.

How YOU should deal with infidelity

The stages of infidelity are :

1. Disbelief - Infidelity? No way! I know my spouse, they'd never cheat on me. Yes, that's how everyone reacts at first. That's what I thought of as well until the isolated events started becoming more and more common.

How to deal with disbelief and delusion?
Read the the common signs of a cheating spouse, and see if you observe any from your own spouse. Do NOT take action once you find out that they are displaying signs of a cheating spouse. List down all cheating signs you find and prove them as fact. Your goal now is to just that, prove or disprove the signs you find and "play dumb" and pretend you know nothing about their affairs.

2. Grief and Hatred - Once you've finally realized that there is a chance your spouse is cheating, you actively search for evidence and FIND it. You start being hateful and angry, you want nothing more than to tear your spouse's head off with your bare hands when you see them, then when you are alone you start mourning. This is the most difficult phase of infidelity because you're emotions may take control.

How to deal with grief and hatred?
You should NEVER react violently, it will cause you more problems, especially if you are a betrayed husband. Do not let your wife's betrayal turn you into someone you're not. Learn how to catch a cheating spouse, collect as much evidence as you can, then confront your spouse with the proof you have compiled.

Don't beat your spouse up physically, beat them in court. Collect evidence and make sure to GAIN CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILDREN. If you have children I recommend seeking out a lawyer's help once you have gathered evidence, and let him tell you what you can and can not use legally in court. Your number one goal right now, that you've proven your spouse is cheating on you, is gaining full custody of your children. If you can't afford a lawyer, private detectives are cheaper and usually know what to do, since lawyers hire them to collect evidence on several types of civil cases.

I know, this is the most difficult part of surviving an affair, the moment you confirm it. Things that can help you out, running. Put all your energy into running or doing something physical that will not hurt you, but tire you out. Do the opposite of what I did, which was to confront my spouse with basless accusations and hole up after he rejected everything I said. Gather evidence, consult with lawyer, and deal with the stress, hatred, and anger that you are experiencing by burning out your energy doing some exercises.

3. Recovering from Infidelity
Depending on what you choose to do, whether you forgive your cheating spouse or divorce them, these tips will help you recover from the affair

Family and friends - You need their love and support now more than ever. Do not feel embarrassed, none of this is your fault. You had no control over your spouse's actions and have nothing to be embarrassed about. Do not think you can survive this easily without your group of friends or family members.

Exercise and eat healthy - When you start feeling resentful, go for a run. Do something physically that will tire you out.Eat properly and exercise regularly. It will help take your mind off past mistakes of your spouse, and you will physically and emotionally feel better. Do it with your wife or husband, involve them in your exercises.

Your favorite activities - Try and remember the moment you and your spouse had that made you both the happiest you've ever been. Recreate that moment. If it was traveling to a different country and enjoying tropical beaches, go ahead and take a break from work and do that. You have to find something fun that you both enjoy doing or you will risk never becoming that close again because you'd be both too full of hate or guilt to enjoy each other.

The future- Stop thinking about what life will be like in the future without your spouse. It's over and you should accept it. Dwelling on the past will not bring it back. If on the other hand your spouse chose to stay with you, and you allowed and are trying to forgive them, then seek help from a marriage counselor. Marriage counseling will help get rid of your hate, it's difficult surviving adultery but a professional will be able to quicken the time it takes for you to regain your trust back in your spouse. A couples retreat would also help, as well as just a vacation and alone time together so you can really start talking and looking for the root cause of the problem.

Compromises - Did you take your spouse back or divorced them? If you took them back, you NEED to make them compromise, and if you are the cheater you NEED to compromise or you will never get back to where you were. If your spouse wants alone time everyday so you can talk, agree to it. If your spouse wants to go to marriage counseling, agree to it. If your spouse wants you to maintain a "no touching" rule with people of the opposite sex, agree to it; you shouldn't even need to tell this to someone who's married, boundaries need to be respected.

Don't feel forced to forgive - Don't feel like you need to forgive your spouse quickly or they'll cheat again. Take your time, let the your feelings out and let them know what you think about what they did and how it hurt you so much. You don't need to forgive them right away, even if they're living with you again. Doing that causes you to not want to let your true feelings out, and you'll bottle up all those emotions that slowly build up into a huge fight. It's better to slowly let things out rather than bottling up emotions and taking it out on everyone, even your kids. I've experienced this with my mom, who was also cheated on in her late 40s. She was miserable for months and yelled at us for the littlest things. Always vent it out than keep it to yourself.

I have started a surviving infidelity resource: The first one is found here, where you can read the cheating spouse stories of other people. And the other is a surviving infidelity forum, a more interactive way of asking for, and giving help to the same people in similar shoes (shoes we never wanted to be in). Venting is one of the ways you can lessen the stress infidelity causes, having people read your experiences and react, relate, and give their advice is very much overlooked as a tool of recovering from an affair.

The cheating spouse stories page has a lot more posts because it's been around longer so you may want to read that first. The surviving infidelity forums is new, I just requested it be added to a similar site Mike and I contribute to because blogger.com doesn't allow us to add forums here. Another reason for starting that forum is because over the years this site has grown from 1 comment a month, to 1 comment ever few days. I'm finding it difficult to maintain even with the help of my husband and Hanna, so we thought we'd make a forum so people like us can help each other.

Bait Your Cheating Spouse

2011-04-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

Another way to catch your spouse cheating is by baiting them into an affair. How does this work? We will do this on the internet, because a lot of cheaters start their affairs on the internet before actually meeting up, it's the world we live in now; even affairs are digital.

First you have to know which social site your spouse spends their time in, a social site is something like facebook, myspace, orkut, etc. Another way is by finding out which chatrooms they go to, or webcam chats, such as stickam, omegle, or chat roulette. The last 2, omegle or chat roulette, are more difficult to work with because it is random, so you can't bait your spouse unless you happen to meet each other, which is highly unlikely.

Once you know which social site they frequent, join that site and create a fake profile to bait your spouse with. Who better than you to create someone your spouse will be attracted to. Make sure not to overdo it though, don't use celebrity pictures, or pictures of famous people as your profile pic. Set your status as single, looking for *sex of your spouse*, then find them on their social site.

When you find them, send them a personal message, throw them a compliment (feed their ego) and tell them you are looking to make new friends and magically you are in a nearby area. If they are on chatrooms, join that chat room and start a conversation, ask to trade pictures then throw them a compliment or two and say you want to trade emails. This is one of the reasons this method works best, you can uncover their secret emails.

If your spouse is cheating on you, then you can expect a positive response to this. Start talking to them on a regular basis, ask them about their life and what they enjoy doing. Notice if they mention anything related to their family or spouse; if they do mention their family or spouse, ask them about their spouse (you). Try to start an emotional affair with your spouse and take it as far as you can go until they are actually willing to meetup with you.

Keep prodding about their spouse(you) and ask them if it's okay that you are talking with them, say things like "won't your spouse get mad that we talk alot?", "will your spouse get jealous if you tell him/her about me?", see how they react. A cheater will always keep it secret and respond with "she doesn't need to know" or "it's okay, no one's going to tell". you should take that as a hint to move on and slowly steer the conversations into something a little more sexual. This is when you will know that your spouse is a cheater.

Try and bait them into telling you about their cheating stories by making up your own story. If they are really cheating on you, they will have a lot to share, just make sure you don't make it sound like you regret it; make it seem like you loved cheating on your wife or husband, and imply that you are looking to do it again. This will cause the cheater to be interested in you even more.

Here's the turning point, you can either continue on with baiting stories out of them to collect evidence of infidelity, OR you can take it a step further by involving a friend. If you have a willing friend, it's best to start this whole baiting process with them, so they know the whole story of your fake persona. When it gets far enough that you are in an emotional affair with your spouse, ask them if they would be willing to have a phone conversation with you.

Now this is why we love this method best, it's a FREE way to catch your spouse cheating, you get your spouse to confess their cheating stories to you, AND if you're really lucky, like the secret emails you will have found out about their secret cell phones. A lot of people discover secret cell phones of their spouses this way.

Make your friend talk to them on the phone or cell phone a few times until they get comfortable enough that they initiate the sexual talk. If this is not proof enough that your husband or wife is cheating, ask your friend to request a meet up in a nearby hotel.

If they agree, go to that hotel yourself and do your confrontation there. This is also helpful if you have kids at home, they shouldn't be seeing their parents fight about an affair.

Spy Tools As A Gift?

2011-04-06T23:44:00.000-07:00


Innocent gift, or hidden camera?

Several emails have asked if they can give their boyfriends or girlfriends spy tools, that don't look like spy tools, as a gift so they can secretly monitor their activities. Although this would work, especially for long distance relationships, this is illegal. You will need to research your state, and their state laws to find out exactly what it says about monitoring private conversations and activities.

If your spouse has been looking for a reason to divorce you, or you are in the middle of a divorce already, this will give them an advantage in court. You CAN get sued by anyone you monitor without their consent. You can even get sued by employees that you monitor, even if you give them the cell phones, but don't tell them you are monitoring it.

Like I have posted all over the site (read the above header reminder), you should do your own research on your state laws, we will not give you legal advice. Also read the disclaimers on sites you buy your spy devices / spyware from.

How To Protect Yourself From Being Spied On :

There are several disguised objects that function as spy cams, or GPS trackers, if you suspect your boyfriend or girlfriend gave you one of these, just google the product name. In most cases, this will be completely obvious because the spy cam "gift" they will give you won't be wrapped in it's original packaging.

If you suspect your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or just someone you know is giving you spy cams or gps trackers as gifts, inspect the object they give you and look for either an SD card slot (the SD card should be in there), or a hidden USB port (used to attach to the laptop/pc for data retrieval).

General guideline you should follow when accepting suspicious gifts is that you should always ask the gift giver what the model is, and where's the original packaging. Ask for a manual or any documentation that came with the gadget. If they can't provide you with the packaging, or the model name, that should raise a red flag. If you google the model name and it looks nothing like your model, it might be a spy tool.

You can be sure it's a spy tool if the gift giver often checks back on the device, daily, weekly or monthly depending on the type of spy camera or GPS device. All they need to do is simply retrieve the SD card and they'll be able to view the hidden videos they caught through they spy tool. For GPS and Cell Phone spies, they don't even need to revisit the device to access the data. Most of the more advanced GPS and cell phone spies can access it remotely.

I've attached links at the bottom of this post for the most common items people could "gift" you to spy on your activities.

Common things that are used as spy tools and disguised as everyday objects :

See the post hidden spy cameras to catch cheating spouse, I will update it with relevant links to related products described below.

Clocks, both non-digital and digital, are used as hidden spy cameras. Some are even functional radio clocks that you would never suspect to be hidden cams.

Wrist watches are used as GPS trackers. Not much to worry about from the cheap made in china digital wrist watches, they are very obvious because of it's bulk. Good gift to monitor your child though. The slimmer ones are less obvious, but cost several hundreds of dollars. Most of them won't be used to spy on you, because they require activation, but there are some motion activated spy cams. They'll still have to retrieve it from you if they ever want to view the captured data. Not much of a threat.

Pens are used as GPS trackers. Slightly bulky, but still effective at location tracking. May not be obvious to some people who don't know GPS pens exist. Other pens are disguised as hidden cams, this isn't much of a threat as a gift because these usually require activation before any pictures are taken.

Fake TV or Computer Speakers can be hidden surveillance equipment. These are either used for capturing sound, video, or both. Most effective method of "gifting" you these speakers for your TV or Computer is by buying a real speaker system and adding this in the package. They may even offer to set it up for you. This is an obvious spy tool when inspected up close because most of the cheaper models do NOT EVEN FUNCTION as a speaker. Great as a means to protect and monitor on your home, very obvious when using it as a gift to spy on someone else.

Stuffed toys, the classic nanny cam approach, may also be used on toys or model figures. These "nanny cams" are usually motion activated, or heat sensing; meaning they only record video/audio when they detect movement or heat.

Collectible Soda Cans, most people enjoy collecting soda cans, and yes, these are used as hidden spy cameras as well. Unlikely to be given as a gift, but they might slip it in with your decorations/collections and it may go unnoticed.

Bird Feeders are used as spy cameras. Yup, even this sweet gift idea is being used to spy on people nowadays.

Crucifixes are used as hidden spy cams too. The non stationary / worn crucifixes are a form of active camera (needs activation before recording or taking snapshots).

Cell Phones, now these are tricky. They can come in the original packaging, but your spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend could have installed a mobile phone spy. If they installed spyware on the cell phone and it is similar to the spyware I linked, they will be undetected. The only way to completely avoid this is by having a technician reformat your software. (completely erase and reinstall).

Digital Picture Frames are commonly used as hidden cameras, expect this "gift" to not be in their original packaging.

Boombox spy cams, another spy tool that perfectly blends in any location of your home; these are not just spy cams in disguise, these could trick you into believing that it is the real thing, because most of the quality made boom box cams actually function as radios, mp3 players, and CD players. To know whether or not this is a spy tool, check for any hidden CD card slots, or USB ports.

Thermostats, these are amazingly clever covert spy cams, you would never suspect it! Think about it, what gadget in your room do you rarely pay much attention to? The thermostat! Would this be something a person would gift you to spy on you? I don't think so, because most of these spy cams are non functioning. It's a good way to install on your own home or apartment though.

Sprinkler spy cams, another great disguised hidden cam. These are just there, but you would never suspect it. Even though this is non-functional, no one would know that because who would actually test a sprinkler. Perfect nanny cam, and home protection. Would somebody gift this spy tool to you? Highly unlikely.

Fan cameras. These are like the boombox camera, the high quality models are fully functional, and perfectly disguised. Also like the boombox you will need to check it for USB ports and hidden SD card slots. May also come in forms of air filters or mini desk fans.

Plant Cameras. Another classic, I'm sure you've seen how these work on movies or TV shows. Wireless and wired are both available, but these aren't much of a threat because these cams are just fake plants. I think it's very suspicious when someone gives you a fake plant, and it's easy to spot too, just ruffle through the leaves and look for the lens.

Emergency Light and Desk Lamp Spy Cams. These table lamps and emergency lights are another type of fully functional device. Something to note about the emergency lights are that most emergency lights have rechargeable batteries, you should be suspicious if an emergency light requires a wall socket. You sould also inspect for USB ports and SD card slots.

Mirror spy cameras. Possibly the most ingenious spy tool invented that I know of, a mirror or vanity mirror designed to capture videos. Whoever thought of it is a real James Bond type person. You would never expect that a mirror would be recording your activities! The genius part would have to be that because it's a mirror, you know you'll always catch something on video. Definitely inspect any mirrors you are gifted and look for the common spy tool signs.

Custom Hidden Cameras allow you to fit the camera into whatever you choose. Items like stuffed toys, tissue boxes, cigar boxes, empty cereal boxes, etc. These are usually more expensive and can fit in the palm of your hand. Not much of a threat as a gift, but definitely watch for tiny holes (pinhole size) from the suspected spy tool gift. The camera lenses are that tiny.

Catch Cheating Spouse With Voice Recorder

2011-04-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ever wanted to spy on your spouse's secret phone conversations? Buying a cheap (less than $80) digital voice recorder will solve your problems. These recorders are typically used by students to record their classes, or by journalists when conducting interviews. It's also similar to what private investigators install in your homes or cars, like what you see in the TV show cheaters.

Please remember before you start spying on your spouse with any type of tool, read the disclaimers on the websites that sell you the tools and follow that up with researching your local state laws regarding monitoring or recording conversations.

When looking for a voice recorder, make sure to find one with either an AVR(voice activated recording) function, or overly long recording time; the more expensive voice recorders, $100+, allow up to 500+ hours of recoding time. If you are on a budget, you definitely want the voice activated recorder.

Rather than just using a large storage voice recorder, you can use the voice activated recorder to record phone conversations that your spouse typically hides from you. There are of course large storage digital recorders that also have the AVR feature, and there are also voice activated phone recorders, designed specifically for phones. I have not found a voice activated phone recorder yet that was made to spy on phones, so I can't recommend anything; most of the dedicated phone recorders I've found require the user to either activate the record function, or alert them after a recording has been made.

Basically any phone with AVR feature should be your priority, I attached a link to a cheap voice recorder with AVR that only costs $30 and has 200 hours worth of recording time, and another voice recorder with double the amount of storage (also with AVR) for double the price just to give you some choices. I would go get the cheaper one unless your spouse goes away for more than a few days and you want to keep the spy tool in the car.

Important : If you choose to look for your own spy tools to record conversations, remember that there is a huge difference between digital voice recorders and digital voice PHONE recorders.

Why use a voice recorder over a voice PHONE recorder?

Because the voice PHONE recorders (as far as my research and amazon tells me), alert the phone user to the recordings, and require manual action before the device records anything.

While the voice recorder with AVR automatically records anything as long as it detects sound.

Think of it like hidden cameras that record everything(a normal voice recorder), VS hidden cameras that only record when it detects movement (a voice recorder with AVR) VS cameras that require the user to press the red record button (voice PHONE recorders).

Just to stress it even more, digital voice recorders are NOT the same as digital voice PHONE recorders.

Where Should I Hide My Voice Recorders?

Does your spouse work out of the house? The best place to hide it is under their car seat, or if you have one of those seat covers with pockets at the back, tape it there just a little bit under the pocket. make sure to hide it before they use the car for work, if you have a recorder with AVR then you have no worries about it running out of space.

According to private investigators, cheaters usually have their conversations while driving to work, and heading back home, if they aren't going to meet up with their spouses that day. If you can't hide this in their cars everyday, try to do so during the middle of the week, when they are less likely to cheat. If you bought something expensive, like a micro voice recorder, you could try and hide it in their briefcases or purses, but that's too risky in my opinion.

Does your spouse stay at home? Best places to catch a cheating housewife or husband at home is right beside the phone, computer (skype or other voip applications), or bed (if they choose mobile phones). Consider getting two cheap recorders instead of one expensive one so you can divide it and monitor the whole house.

If you have an extra car at home you should consider bugging that with your spy devices as well, you never know if your husband or wife really stays at home when you leave for work.

Do you suspect your spouse is having midnight phone calls? Best place to keep your spy tool is inside the bathroom. If you know where they are, maybe they lock up in the guest rooms, you could try hiding it there; but most signs of cheating point to the bathroom, because it's less suspicious to see a spouse coming out of the bathroom in the midnight over seeing them enter the room.

I don't think you need to worry about if your voice recorder is too far or not, because I read almost all the reviews before I buy anything online, as long as it's in the same room it will pickup the sound (I bought the cheaper one btw). Our rooms here are typically 20x15 feet, tested in the bedroom, works great, tested in the bathroom, works even better.

One of the reviewers(for the cheaper product), said that while recording a class in college the voice recorder even picked up the sound of the janitor's mop machine outside. Read more reviews here ($30 one) or here ($60 one). My one gripe about this is that the pop out USB button on mine after I dropped it stopped working, it became permanently exposed, which is a slight annoyance because I don't hide this device, I actually use it a lot to tape books for my kids to play when I'm not at home.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, take a look at the catch a cheating spouse guide we compiled. Click this link for a mobile phone spy guide

How To Cheat On Your Wife

2011-04-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

No, this is not an April fools joke. This article will be about how to cheat on your wife. I'm writing this so wives can see the common ways a husband can cheat on their wives, and be able to catch them doing it. I don't promote cheating on your wife, this is purely to educate people on ways their husbands can cheat on them and how they cover their tracks! If you are easily offended, please don't read this guide.

My own husband helped me write this, his ex-wife used something similar to method 1.

How To Cheat On Your Wife

Cheat Method 1 : Dating sites

Join a dating site specifically for married people look to have an affair. Such sites are ashley madison dot com, or married secrets dot com. I won't be linking to them, so manually type it in your browser if you want to see. After joining, simply start looking for people you are interested in having an affair with; most of the members in these dating sites are other disloyal people such as yourself, or swingers.

How to avoid getting caught cheating : Keyloggers are your downfall.

Unless your spouse is tech savvy, they most probably have the internet browsing history turned off. If so, no problem; they won't be able to see you are visiting sites that promote cheating. If your wife is tech savvy, you'll have to clear the internet browsing history by going to your browser settings. Here's how to do that :

Firefox and internet explorer browsers will have their internet browsing history saved at the history page, accessible by pressing CTRL + SHIFT + H.

For Google Chrome browsers it's just CTRL + H.

Check the back of your computer, take a look at the socket where your keyboard is connected to. Is there anything suspicious looking? If there is, it is most probably a hardware based keylogger that your wife has installed because she's observed the typical signs of a cheating spouse from you.

If you are on a laptop, I can't give you an exact way to detect a keylogger because not all anti virus and malware detectors will pickup on custom made software keyloggers. You WILL get caught cheating if your spouse has installed one of these. To prevent any software based keyloggers from recording your conversations and logging your keystrokes, set up your computer or laptop to make sure that your account is the only administrator account. Meaning you need your account to be the only one that can directly install softwares. If your spouse wants to install anything, tell them you'll do it for them.

Solution : Anti spyware software, check the back of your computer for hardware keyloggers, delete internet browsing history, and make your account on the computer the only one able to install any type of software.

Ugh, just typing that out made me shiver. But we move on to the next method these slimy cheaters use.

Cheat Method 2 : Facebook and other social sites

Create a new profile on facebook/myspace or any other social site that you prefer. List yourself as single and start looking for women to talk to. This is very common, and most older women have no problems chatting with guys online, or even meeting them. Make sure to keep your status as single. Any decent woman will not tolerate you hitting on them, or any kind of sexual talk if they know you are married.

How To Avoid Getting Caught : Don't Get Baited

Cheating on facebook isn't something your spouse will expect. Most wives won't find anything wrong with you browsing facebook, unless you are spending an exceptionally long time on there and they catch you PMing or chatting with women. Just avoid letting them see your facebook screen when they are in the room and everything should be fine, but if you suspect a keylogger than apply method 1's way to not get caught.

If you are sure that your wife is on to your affairs or disloyal behaviors on facebook, do NOT fall for the old baiting trick. If a somewhat attractive person sends you a personal message on facebook saying they are interested in you, ignore them. That is most likely your wife with her bait profile. Another thing to watch out for is if your wife asked one of her friend's to bait you for her, this can lead as far as phone conversations and actual meetups. Except you won't see them in the hotel room, you'll see an angry wife.

Additional precautions should be taken if your wife knows your email and social site passwords. Create a new email account to use with the same facebook profile.

Solution : Always start the conversation unless you know the person you are talking to is a real person, and not a fake persona created by your wife or one of her friends. And use method 1's solution if you suspect keyloggers.

Cheat Method 3 : An Interested Co-worker Or Cheat Partner

If you already have a willing cheat partner in your office or someone you met online, you should only meet up with them during the middle of the week; save your sick days for this reason alone and be home ON TIME. Doing it on a typical weekend will give your spouse reason to worry, because the overtime excuse is lame and verifiable.

You could of course use the overtime excuse if you are getting a bonus for that month and your wife will never find out how you got that bonus. The paycheck never lies, so use this to your advantage.

How To Not Get Caught Cheating : GPS data, it never lies.

Come home on time! If your spouse already thinks you are cheating, coming home late will only make her more paranoid. Once your spouse suspects you enough that they are in the phase of just gathering proof to catch you cheating, they will start installing keyloggers on your computers, or GPS car trackers.

You will get caught if your spouse checks your car's mileage daily. To avoid getting caught if they record your mileage, leave your car parked at the office area. Find somewhere near that you can safely leave your car and then go on and commute or ask your new partner to pick you up.

Unfortunately for husbands who think they are being tracked with GPS, you will need to spend money on having a mechanic scan your car for the GPS device. You could also try yourself, but without their tools you won't find it easily. Places to check are inside the glovebox, somewhere taped underneath the dashboard, inside your car door, in the trunk, underneath the car itself or somewhere stuck in the aphulstery.

Solution : Get a mechanic to scan your car for GPS trackers, save your sick days for the middle of the week, park near your office and have your cheat partner pick you up, and don't use the overtime excuse without it reflecting on your paycheck.

Infidelity, What Does It Mean To You?

2011-03-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Merriam-Webster.com defines infidelity as :

a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty
b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it

Now, from the recent flames we've received in the comments section (not posted of course), people keep trying to justify their actions as "just for fun" and call us "you're a ****** psychotic paranoid ****".

The classic definition of infidelity is when a man or woman cheats on their spouse, and has a physical affair with them. To most of these flamers commenting, the infidelity meaning they are trying to project is just this "if I didn't touch another person, it's not cheating" well, in my opinion, and the majority of loyal spouses' opinions, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

If there were any sort of reliable infidelity statistic, I would bet you everything I owned that most people would declare emotional affairs as infidelity. Internet affairs, sexting affairs, and other non-physical affairs as infidelity as well. A maritalaffair need not require physical intimacy. Just as merriam-webster dictionary defines it, "unfaithfulness to a moral obligation : disloyalty" or "marital unfaithfulness", in no part was there any mention of physical intimacy.

My definition of infidelity is when a married person betrays the trust given to them by their spouse, or has deep emotional intimacy with someone else surpassing the level of intimacy they have with their spouse. It's simple, if you are hiding an intimate relationship with someone else from your spouse, whatever that reason may be, it's infidelity.

"Intimate relationship" means something you wouldn't do or talk about with someone who is "just a friend". You know you are having an affair with someone emotionally if you are telling them things you would normally only tell your spouse. When you start seeing this new person as your "problem solver" or "go to guy", or whenever you think about them all you can think is how much better they are than your spouse. If they reciprocate your intimacy, you are having an affair. It does not matter if this person is your neighbor, or some girl you met online from halfway around the world, it's still an emotional affair.

When you try and pass of sexting as "just for fun", it is a huge slap in the face to your spouse and your marriage. Sexting IS cheating no matter what angle you look at it from. As long as it's an intimate connection to another human being that is not your spouse, it's cheating. Same goes for webcam chats, "cheat forums" or other groups that promote adultery.

This may come as a shock to most people, but the people who are consistently posting rude comments based on our articles pertaining to emotional affairs and "non physical cheating" are mostly female. How do I know they're females? Because they keep complaining about their husbands who have physically cheated on them. Surviving infidelity is tough, I know I lost my first husband too (highschool sweetheart), but the way you should react is to move on with your life and GET A DIVORCE. Do you really think staying with your husband and CHEATING on them to even the score will make any significance in your relationship? The childish notion of "he did it first" will just be a huge time waster for both of you. Instead of moving forward and building new, meaningful relationships, you choose to skew the definition of infidelity and "give them a taste of their own medicine".

In the article "Do Men Cheat More Than Women" we discussed the issue of female affairs being equal to their male counterparts. And I guess most people who read this blog are women (because of the URL and our earlier articles I'm assuming), and think that we are completely biased towards them. Guess what ladies, I actually met my husband through an infedelity support group, and yes his ex-wife had an emotional affair that turned physical and eventually ruined their marriage. I really wish there was a reliable infidelity statistic so all these women who have been cheated on and decide to "cheat back" would stop playing the victim role all the time.

The truth is most female affairs are the ones that are "non physical". Female affairs are very emotional, and usually start from texting, and internet chat rooms. Just google "infidelity statistics" or "female emotional affair statistics" and do your own research, although there aren't much statistics available you will see a lot of the same things but from the men's point of view. Women ARE better at having affairs because most female affairs are purely emotional (more talking over the phone, or internet etc) vs men, who are more on the physical affairs.

What is worse, physical or emotional affairs? That is subjective, but to me they are the same thing, infidelity. What is the meaning of infidelity to you?

Cellphone Spy Emails

2011-03-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

Here's an email from Lia G. I decided to post it because of the similar question asked repeatedly. I also edited the original article.

in the article how to catch a cheating husband, you refer to 3 different spy programs but you dont list the names of them, or where i can find them. i am interested in using the 2nd or 3rd program and would like to know what it is and where to get it.
appreciate the info.
thank you

Here's the link to the new mobile phone spy, with an actual recommendation. The purpose of the first article "cell phone spy overview" was to give you just that, an overview of the types of cellphone spies out there. So for a product recommendation, check the newer post.

Any future emails asking this question or similar question will be answered with just a link to this pots. Not trying to be cold or anything, just trying to save time cause things are getting a bit hectic in real life.

Update May 2011:
Okay, this is crazy, seems no one wants to actually read things through haha. After posting this, I got even more questions about email on cell phone spies. If the title was misleading, I'm sorry. This post was meant to answer the cell phone spy email questions I get sent.

Since this created new questions, I'll update it with this :
Yes, the cell phones spies that are both featured in the "mobile phone spy" article are both capable of reading emails that you send through your cell phones. Basically anything that is accessed on the internet through those phones are saved at the webservers of the respective cell phone spy services you are paying for. You can also make your cell phone spy "send to email", a function that updates you via email in case the phone you are monitoring has changed location, sent a new text, etc.

And no, there will never be a recommended free cell phone spy or keylogger. Read the article to find out why I won't ever post one here, and why you should never risk downloading "free" software that serves an important function.

Should You Spy On A Cheating Spouse?

2011-03-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

Should you spy on your spouse if you suspect cheating?

Some people have a difficult time even thinking of spying on their husband or wife. Is it wrong to spy or attempt to spy on them? I think it's subjective. If you have noticed your spouse is showing the common cheating signs, then yes, go right ahead. Your spouse being secretive and acting like they are hiding something important from you definitely gives you right to snoop on them. If they aren't displaying cheating signs, then there would be no point in spying on them, is there? Also I am a strong believer in no secrets between married couples. If you and your spouse agree with that, then it's very obvious something is wrong when they start keeping information from you.

People keep emailing the same things, "I want to spy on my boyfriend, how do I do X". I hope you fully explore the blog before heading straight to the contact page or comment form. I listed all the relevant information on the sidebar. Please also do your own research on state laws regarding spying on cheating husbands/wives and cheating spouse spyware(that is listed here). I will not give you legal advice, I am not a lawyer. All I know is if you own something, you can freely attach a GPS car tracker to it, or a cell phone spy. I don't think there's a law against protecting your own property. I do not wish to be responsible for people installing spyware on their neighbors cars, or co-workers' cellphones so please do your own research or look at the privacy policies at the corresponding sites that I link out to before buying any type of device or software that monitors anything.

If you just need reassurance that you're not an evil person for trying to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it to make sure your relationship is not in danger, or is it for selfish, baseless jealousy?

Besides the ways to spy on a spouse already described in this blog (check the sidebar), here are a few more ways to "spy" on a spouse that does not involve gadgets or private eyes. It's not really spying in the sense that we are monitoring their conversations, spying in the sense that we are keeping ourselves informed.

Free Ways To Spy On A Spouse

1. If you and your spouse leave the house together for work, be the one to fix the bed. Fold your sheets in a different way that you're used to, so if they come back home and mess around in the bed, you'll know it. Not necessarily going to tell you that they were with someone, but it will be an effective way of "spying", because you can bait them to check if they were home. You can also leave small things on the bed, couches or tables that you can look for when you get back home.

2. Get a friend your spouse has never seen, or does not know they are your friend, and ask them to hit on or flirt with your spouse. This is extremely effective if you have a willing friend. Ask them to take it as far as your spouse seems willing to go. Basically, ask them to try and have an affair with your spouse. You can then bait your spouse with questions like "Where were you?" "Who were you with?" "Did you talk to anyone?", and you can be guaranteed that they won't be able to lie their way out of this one. Related article for you is "Bait Your Cheating Spouse"

3.The passenger car seat is another effective tool we can use. If you want to spy on your husband, set the passenger car seat all the way to the back, so if a woman rides in the passenger side they will have to adjust it a little. Do the opposite if you want to spy on your wife. Simple, not very effective since it's so easy to make an excuse for it, but if the car seat keeps adjusting, they won't be able to keep using the same excuse. Won't be effective at all if your spouse car pools with other people.

4. Like what I recommend on the cheating spouse guide, start a blog (it's free) and keep daily, weekly, and monthly records of your spouse's mileage. If you don't have spare cash for a GPS car tracker, this should be good enough. Of course they can make excuses, but if the amount of miles spikes up real high, you will be informed. Not a very good replacement to using a GPS car tracker, but better than baseless accusations.

5. Do the exact same thing for their monthly spending. Record the data and try and ask your spouse what they spent their money on. Most likely gas and food, so you can compute the costs and eventually notice anomalies in their monthly budget. Look for the typical gifts you buy for someone when dating, flowers, chocolates, or clothing (that's for the opposite sex of your spouse).

6. Email your spouse using an anonymous email address and try and bait them into an intimate conversation. Try and see how they react to your flirting. If your spouse spend a lot of time in forums or chatrooms, chances are they will reply to your anonymous emails.

7. Similar to the above, but use this against spouse's that spend most of their free time on facebook, social sites, or even worse dating sites. I don't know why you need to spy on your spouse if they are spending time on DATING sites. Immediately confront them about it. Dating sites are not something you should spend time on if you are married or are in a serious relationship. What better person than you to create a fake profile to flirt with your spouse, you will know all their weaknesses.

Note : Most paid dating or adult sites will try to mask their websites, to protect your spouse's privacy, but you can google the names or sites that you have never seen before and check what they really are. There's no hiding from google.

Remember, before confronting your spouse make sure you have undeniable evidence of what you are accusing. Excuse proof evidence, or don't confront. If they lie their way out of your questions, they will just think harder next time they cheat and leave no clues.

Take a Cheap Lie Detector Test? Think again.

2011-03-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Something to consider when you have run out of options on proving the innocence of your spouse. If you spouse WILLINGLY subjects themselves to a polygraph test, that should make you confident. Although I do not recommend this method, it's still an option for you if there are -cheap- lie detector test services around your area. When I say cheap lie detector, I do not mean the portable types that they sell as gimmicks. I do not believe in the accuracy of the cheap lie detectors nor would I put the fate of your relationship on it.

On that note I also don't believe in regular lie detectors, there are so many ways to beat a lie detector, one could research before taking a lie detector and study up on beating it. There's an old saying, which I have not verified if it's true or not, that taking an aspirin before the test will allow you to beat it. ~~I will have to post a follow up article to this after I have done some research on ways your spouse could beat a lie detector test.~~ I found an amazing site that is completely anti lie detectors. They sound like they are taking it a bit personal, but it's a good read and I suggest browsing their sites completely before you take any tests. Let me save you some time and tell you NOT to take the polygraph test.

Taking a polygraph test costs anywhere between $50-$400. When you find a local service, you better google them and do your due diligence. Check for their records at the bbb as well. I would not trust the cheaper ones(or the regulars ones), unless that is all you have as your option. Ask about the background of the lie detector operator, and what is his actual job. Interview them and ask multiple services and examples of their work. Check if they have any case studies or methods that they can prove their accuracy with. Ask them if it's scientifically proven (and since you did or will do your research before going to one, you'll know whether or not the lie detector operators are LYING to you).

Some reasons you should not trust lie detector tests

"Rule 707 serves the legitimate interest of ensuring that only reliable evidence is introduced. There is simply no consensus that polygraph evidence is reliable: The scientific community and the state and federal courts are extremely polarized on the matter." -http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/96-1133.ZS.html

"When a well-trained examiner uses a polygraph, he or she can detect lying with high accuracy. However, because the examiner's interpretation is subjective and because different people react differently to lying, a polygraph test is not perfect and can be fooled."-http://science.howstuffworks.com/question123.htm

"Polygraph is more art than science, and unless an admission is obtained, the final determination is frequently what we refer to as a scientific wild-ass guess (SWAG)" -CIA polygrapher -John F. Sullivan

"...the theory and methods of polygraphic lie detection are not rocket science, indeed, they are not science at all." -Emeritus Professor, David T. Lykken (1928-2006)

"The so-called 'control' question 'test' polygraph is a technological flight of fancy. It is often used as a psychological rubber hose to induce confessions. Founded on lies, it spreads distrust while posing as the path to truth." -Emeritus Professor, John J. Furedy

If you really can't trust your spouse anymore because they cheated on you, seek marriage counseling or take a couples retreat. A lie detector won't gain that trust back for you. Worse, it may dig you an even deeper hole. See this girl's story attached below about how her spouse got her to confess she cheated on him with a common friend, and could not trust her again. Then they took a lie detector test in an attempt to mend that trust. She volunteered to take it because she said she was so confident she would make him eat the report! She failed the cheap($50 indicated on the post) lie detector test and they got divorced.

I took a lie detector test.My domestic partner and I have had some
issues and it came out that I lied about a sexual encounter that I had
with a common friend a couple of months into our relationship. I kept
this info from him and it took 18 months for him to finally get it out
of me and I confessed. Since then nothing I do or say has been
trustworthy to him and he does not know if he can ever establish trust
in me again. I suggested I take a polygraph test. I thought this
would be the best way for me to vindicate myself and show him once and
for all that I was telling the truth. I took the polygraph test and
felt totally at ease. We had to wait 5 days for the results. I was
so sure and righteous that I was going to make my boyfriend eat the
results.

3 questions were asked:

1) During my entire life did I ever have sexual contact with "A"

2) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with anyone besides
your current partner?

3) Since (month/year) did you have sexual contact with "B"?

The resultant answers were:

1 - Deceptive Response
2 - Truthful Response
3 - Inconclusive Result

I was totally blown away by the results. I have been totally truthful
and honest with my domestic partner since I confessed to him about the
meeting I had over 2 years ago. Since then it has been above board.

We both divorced for one another and it has taken it's toll on both of
us, clearly. Yes, we have seen counsellors and they have suggested
that we are both too filled with guilt to truly enjoy one another.

Read the whole thread here. If you still want to take your spouse to a lie detector test after everything I put together here, you should know the consequences can be severe. Lie detectors are handled by humans. Humans make mistakes. This is not like hiring a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating. With a private eye, they will actually give you VERIFIABLE proof that your spouse either cheated on you, or not. This lie detector test isn't even supported by the scientific community, so in essence you are just putting your relationship on the line based on what the person behind the lie detector is saying.

If you STILL insist on taking a lie detector test, here are some tips :

Do NOT tell the lie detector operator anything about yourselves so it won't let it affect his judgment on the current situation and questions.Both of you should take the test and get asked similar questions. Try to not let the operator pick up hints on why you are having the test, like who cheated on who. Don't mention anything, just hand over the questions you want asked.
Do NOT use a cheap portable lie detector, or online lie detector test. Voice lie detector tests, like the ones you see on TV, are also another gimmick with no science backing it up.
Do NOT take the results seriously.
Take multiple lie detector tests and compare results. Not saying this will make it more accurate, at least with multiple results you KNOW for a fact they are inconsistent.
Both of you should take the test twice, with different lie detector examiners each time you take it to compare the results.

The cost and value of this test is not worth the time nor money you will have to invest. If you want professional help in catching a cheating spouse, go for the PI. If you want professional help getting over your frustrations and guilt, take a couples retreat or go to a marriage counselor.

How to use this site

2011-03-15T02:27:00.000-07:00

Since people are posting the same things over and over on the comments section, here's some of the more important pages that will help you in catching your spouse cheating. If you have a question, consider reading the comments section of the page you are on. Specifically the one on cellphone spies page.

You don't know whether or not you have a cheating spouse, but have a feeling you do. Pages that may help you are :
Signs of a cheating spouse- 60 signs that can help you determine whether or not your spouse is cheating.
Do men cheat more than women? - Men and women are equal, and it's truly difficult to determine who is a bigger and better cheater. Recent studies have show that women are better at keeping affairs secret.

You DO know you have a cheating spouse, and want to get proof. Pages that may help you are :
Guide to hiring a private investigator - Private eyes are only recommended for people who have the cash to burn. At least $1000
Guide to using hardware keyloggers on your computer
Overview of Cellphone spies - This should be your priority, easiest way to catch a spouse cheating
Mobile/Cellphone spy - Before asking questions, please read the overview and this post fully. This is an actual product recommendation that covers what is discussed in both articles.
Video Surveillance Equipment - Another method to catch your spouse cheating. Perfect for indoor use.
GPS Car trackers - A lesser version of the cell phone spy in the sense that it only tracks car location. GPS Cellphone spy tracking is more effective because you'll actually see where your spouse goes (when they bring their phones)
Reverse Phone Lookup - Use the form to the right to perform a reverse phone lookup or read the article for more details.
Reverse Image Lookup - Track pictures of your cheating spouse on the internet and see if they have any of it on public websites.
Tracking Your Spouse's Internet Activities - Free alternative to keyloggers, not as effective and totally won't work if your spouse knows how to delete their internet history.

Got cheated on? Read these support pages.
Save your marriage or ditch it - Your spouse should not argue with you when you want to take them to marriage counseling. There are so many options now, you can even take an online counseling course.
When to think of divorcing your spouse -Divorce is a good thing. A very good thing if you are in a miserable relationship. Don't let what other people think about you and your relationship affect how you feel. If you are MISERABLE in it, get OUT of it. This article is for those who can't decide whether or not they want to stick with their disloyal spouses or not.
Cheating spouse stories - The most important resource for you. You are not alone, infidelity happens all the time. Read about other peoples experiences and share your own for others to read. It's such a huge weight lifted off our backs when we know that others have gone through it and have come out stronger. Please contribute your own story of how you dealt with infidelity.

Update April 2011 : We've added a new resource, which we hope will grow more in the future. The Surviving Infidelity Forum will be a great help to anyone needing to vent and have other people hear them out. If you would like to vent, or help other people by giving your 2 cents, feel free to join the forum.

OFFTOPIC. Please consider donating to the Japan Relief Effort

2011-03-13T01:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry to be off topic, but please consider donating some money to help with the recent crisis over at Japan. Here is a link to the Redcross.org Japan Relief Effort.

If you don't know what happened, here are some video clips :

How do I confront my spouse about internet cheating?

2011-03-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

Another reader asks about internet affairs/internet cheating. As previously mentioned, internet cheating could be two things, an emotional affair, or another form of pornography when webcams are involved. Either case, they are both wrong, with emotional affairs being more dangerous than the actual "camming".

You confront a spouse having an emotional affair the same way you would a spouse that's having a regular "real" physical affair. You tell your spouse that he or she is cheating on you, and they have to stop their emotional affair. Are you sure they are in an emotional affair or are they just talking a lot? See the linked article on the difference between friendship and emotional affairs.

About the webcam cheating, most spouses justify this as just another type of porn, but really it can turn into relationship breakers when people start wanting to meet each other once they are comfortable online. The key to stopping this is finding a compromise. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them stop their internet affair/inappropriate activities online, and follow through. If both of you find a compromise, problem solved. If your spouse continues to cheat on you online, you may need to have more talks about your relationship and it's future.

Internet cheating or internet affairs usually start from three things. An online chatroom, a cheating spouse forum (yes, there are forums dedicated for just that, cheating on your spouse), and anonymous cam sites. A lot of people actually make their living helping unsatisfied husbands/houswives by giving them ways to start an affair, if you see this website in your internet browsing history, immediately confront your husband. This is the website that caters to spouse's wanting to start an affair (ashley madison dot com). I'm not going to link to that trash site, so manually type it in your browser.

Don't be afraid to put your foot down and tell them that you will end your relationship if they don't stop their emotional/internet affairs. And you really should not put up with being emotionally abused by a cheating spouse. If they don't want to compromise, set an appointment for marriage counseling and get a professional to help you. If your spouse still won't take marriage counseling seriously, they aren't taking you and your relationship seriously. Getting a divorce isn't always something negative, and you may want to consider it if you are living your life in a miserable relationship.

How To Spot An Internet Affair

Here are some signs of a cheating spouse on the internet :

When your spouse is using the computer or laptop, and you come in the room, they either stop using it, hide their screen, or minimize whatever they were doing.
After using the computer, your spouse clears the internet browsing history. This should making you wonder why they are hiding what they were doing. I'll post something about how you can check your internet browsing history in another article in case you don't know how. *Update* it's linked below.
Most people in a long term relationship, or who have been married for a long time, know each other's password. If you've known your spouse's password ever since, but it stopped working when you tried to access their email, or social sites, they may be hiding something.
You discovered a new email that they never told you about, or a new social site such as a facebook page, even if they already have one.A worse thing, that should probably be met with confrontation, is discovering your spouse joined a dating site.
Unknown credit card charges start appearing in your bills. Dating sites, or adult sites commonly mask their site names when charging a credit card. They do this to protect the privacy of their members. Ask your spouse about it, then google the exact name you found on the bill to confirm whether or not your spouse is lying.
Very experienced, and tech savvy cheaters will create a new user account on your computer. They will mostly make their accounts the administrator of the computer, so guest accounts can't check up on their sites or install software keyloggers or any type of spyware to monitor their internet activities. There's usually no solution to this unless you too have access to the administrator account.

Is your husband or wife hiding their internet browsing history? Read this article to learn how to Track your Spouse's Internet Browsing History

If you are miserable in your relationship, I suggest thinking about getting a divorce.

Catching a Cheating Wife Vs Husband

2011-03-01T21:08:00.001-08:00

Why would there be a difference between catching a husband cheating, and catching a wife cheating? Mainly because it is more common for the wife to stay at home, and for the husband to work. All methods listed in this site can be used to catch a cheating spouse, or detect an affair, but some methods may be more effective for husbands, and some for wives. You can ignore this article if your wife is not a housewife, and just use the catch a cheating spouse guide.

If you haven't already, you may want to read the page on "signs of a cheating spouse" before continuing. Knowing the signs, and then gathering evidence is what we recommend. Blind accusations will just cause relationship stress (plus make your spouse a better cheater).

Here's a breakdown on the current methods we talk about.

Cellphone Spies - This is equally useful for catching both a wife or a husband. Even if in most relationships the husband is the one who goes out to work, everyone in this day and age has a cellphone. Even my mom, who is in her 60s, has a cellphone. So this method is on the top of the list because it works well for both husbands and wives, is cheap, and available world wide. The only downside to this is if your spouse is not using a personal cellphone, and is provided one by the company they work for. This takes the top spot for catching a cheating spouse, it's like a keylogger for your cellphone bundled up with GPS cellphone tracking.

Keyloggers - This method won't work as much for people who use computers/laptops that are not their own. Work computers for example, are protected by the companies who own them. You most likely are not allowed to install anything, and if you are, it is recorded. Installing any monitoring device on anything you do not own is illegal. So if your husband rarely uses the computer/laptop at home, this won't be as effective as the cellphone spy. If you suspect your wife of cheating on you, and she just stays at home, then this would be a good option to catch her cheating because it is more likely that she uses the computer to talk to other people. This is also as cheap as the cellphone spy, depending on whether or not you opt for the hardware or software version keylogger. Software, be it cellphone spies, or keyloggers, are always cheaper than their hardware counterparts.

Hidden Cameras - Perfect to catch a cheating wife that stays at home and doesn't work out of the house. If you want to know if your spouse gets visits from people while you aren't home, consider using a motion activated hidden camera, so you can set it and forget it for a few days. It only activates when it detects movement, so that saves you a lot of hard drive space. Not as effective for cheating husbands unless he uses your car, and you can find a portable camera to install there. Portable surveillance equipment costs more than regular "plug in" camera equipment. I wouldn't spend more money to get a camera with better resolution. I would recommend the cheapest hidden camera or portable hidden camera you can get, the lower the resolution the better (cause it's cheaper). We aren't looking to make a home movie, we're trying to find out what is happening behind the scenes. Buying multiple lower resolution cameras is better than buying some HD super camera that can zoom in etc.

GPS Car trackers - A lot more useful for cheating spouses that work, or leave the house regularly. These are cheap, you can find some ranging from $30+-$40+, some of the more expensive ones require a monthly subscription though. Not as effective for cheating spouses who do not leave the house. May work for a wife that takes those 5 hour "shopping trips". GPS trackers can be replaced by simply remembering how many miles your spouse drives when they go to work/shop, and checking your mileage. Knowing your spouse's daily routine will save you some cash, but the downside to that is you can't PROVE they are lying. With a GPS tracker, you have solid data to backup your claims. This is also the method which my mother used when my father cheated on her, but it was a cellphone GPS tracker that a service provider had built in. It's original purpose was to help you locate your phone if you lost it, or it got stolen. But I guess it also helped her know that she was being cheated on.

Digital Voice Recorders - Another way that works best against cheating housewives vs spouses that work out of the house. Read the article for some suggested placements of your voice recorders, as well as two product recommendations. I bought two models of the cheaper one so I can monitor more areas vs the other model with more storage. Be sure to get a voice recorder that has voice activated recording features to save on storage and time sifting through hours of silence. One of the better methods, but you'd have to spend a minimum of $30.

Baiting Your Cheating Spouse - The best FREE method of catching your spouse cheating. Is this the same as impersonation? No, not really. Impersonation is when you call up credit card companies, or phone providers and fish for private details such as who owns what phone or what credit card charges were made while pretending to be the person, or their spouse. With this method, you are just going to fish for your spouse's cheating stories by pretending to be someone that is willing to cheat with them. I consider this the best free method of catching a cheating husband or wife because it has a chance of you finding out their secret email addresses or phone numbers. If you are low on cash and can't afford any of the tools mentioned here, there is cost in trying to bait a cheater into confessing to an affair.

Tracking Your Spouse's Internet Activities - This works well with the above method, and it's free as well. Not too effective if your spouse knows how to clear their internet browsing history. But if they don't, you will know what sites they visit, what they search on Google, and if they view porn sites secretly while you're away.

Private Investigators - Hired professionals. No question about it, this is THE best way to know whether or not your spouse is cheating. These guys are professionals, they make their living out of finding out the truth and providing information. Private Eyes will always get the job done, they employ all the methods found on this site, and some of their own. The only reason I recommend them last is because they are EXTREMELY costly compared to keyloggers, cellphone spies, and hidden cameras. If you plan on hiring a private eye, don't be surprised if the bill reaches the 4 digit range.

When I say I think it's the best way to know if she's cheating, I mean that for private investigators who have a good record. Be sure to check out the guide linked above to help you in selecting a private investigator. Don't just hire someone because they are your only option in your area. If they have a horrible record, you'd best do it yourself. And if you've had some experience with private investigators, please consider sharing it on the Private Investigator Reviews page, for the benefit of those people who in the future need help selecting a good P.I. company.

View things from the other side, learn how your husband will cheat on you by reading the "How To Cheat On Your Wife" article. Just to be clear, I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE. This is just to show you some ways that your husband can cheat on you, and how they may avoid detection. It's a spin from the regular article where we talk about how to catch a cheater, it may be more eye opening when "reverse engineered".

Find Phone Number On Map For Free

2011-02-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

We added a form ~~to the right~~ at the bottom of this page that accesses a database of phone numbers. You can use this to check if you suspect your spouse is cheating, and calling other men/women. The downside is that it does not work for people outside of the USA. I'll try to link a database for an international reverse phone lookup when I find one.

If you want to track someone's location on google maps, you just simply enter their 10 digit phone number on the form to the right, and it will search the database for that phone number. It's completely free to check the location of a phone number on google maps, but it costs a subscription or a one time fee for 1 search if you request for complete details. Complete details include phone owners full name, address, previous address, and what type of phone it is and who is their service provider. The unnecessary features include background checks and criminal records, which I think is overkill.

These types of databases are sometimes being used by professional private investigators. It helps private investigators in locating addresses to help track your spouse or the people your spouse associates with. So if you are hiring a private investigator, you may want to ask them to do some reverse phone lookups for you, I doubt that would cost extra because private investigator fees are already extremely high. Some even charge $120+ per hour!

Basic overview of Reverse Phone Lookups

1. First thing you should do is check your spouse's phone and your home caller ID for unknown numbers.
2. Input each of those numbers on the form found to the right side of this page.
3. Wait for it to be processed on their database, and you will be served up the map location of the unknown number on your home landline or cell phone.
4. (optional), if you want to view the phone owners full name, exact address, and phone type and service provider, opt for a single search ($15) or if you have a lot of unknown numbers, opt for the 1 year registration ($40). This is just optional, just finding out the phone's location on the map can help clue us in deciding on whether or not our spouses are cheating.

Example of Reverse Phone Lookups

We'll use Google's phone number as an example. I'm sure they won't mind :)
Google's phone number is 650 253 0000 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 650 253 0000 end_of_the_skype_highlighting. Lets pretend Google is some random person that your spouse may be cheating with.

So you found that number in your cellphone or home phone, and you have no idea who it is. You just enter that number on the form to the right of this post and it will search for the number in the reverse phone lookup database. You can try it yourself, but in case you were wondering, the results look like this (click to enlarge). You can try it also using your own phone number, and see how accurately you are placed on google maps.

If the number is too far away, that it would take a plane ride to get there, then we can rule out physical affairs, but they could be having an emotional affair if their phone conversations happen regularly. If the number is close to your location, then it's a higher chance of a physical affair happening. The reverse phone lookup database contains business phone lines as well, so you can check whether or not it's a work related call.

What you can do is ask your husband or wife who this phone number belongs to, and why is it in our phone bill/their cellphone bill. They can't say they don't know because it's in the bill and it shows how long they have talked, and if they say it's a friend's phone number then you can ask WHO it is.

Most likely if they are cheating on you with that person, they won't give their real names or location. That's when you should consider paying for a full report and matching the name that your husband or wife gives you, to that listed on the reverse phone lookup database. If they don't match, then you know your spouse is lying.

If this isn't enough to give you peace of mind, you may consider reading the cellphone spy overview, to help you pick out a cellphone spy yourself, or this mobile spy guide, if you want an exact recommendation and not a generic overview on types of cellphone spies.

Type A US BASED Phone number to find it on the map

Type a 10 digit phone number and press enter, or click Submit Query to get your results on Google Maps.

Please feel free to share your experiences with infidelity on our cheating spouse stories page.

Can a Private Eye monitor your home without you knowing?

2011-02-23T04:03:00.000-08:00

Reader asks if a private eye can legally install spy cameras in your house without your knowledge to monitor you/your spouse. The answer is yes, if your spouse, or the owner of the house hired them. But you still have to do your own research for state laws because some states will require you to notify your spouse and inform them that the house is being monitored by a private investigator. We won't give you legal advice, and this is the last email question I'm going to reply to regarding this matter. Sorry folks.

If you hire a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating, and you don't own the house/condo/apartment that you are living in, and that P.I. installs spy cameras, microphone/"bugs" (the ones that record audio), your spouse can sue you and the private eye you hired.

Same goes for cellphone spies installed on cellphones you do not own, GPS trackers installed on phones/cars that you do not own, keyloggers on computers you do not own, etc.

Just remember when you want to install something that monitors activity, you MUST OWN whatever object you want monitored.

Now hiring a private eye to monitor your spouse in a PUBLIC place, that will cause you no legal problems since the place is public. You'll see alot of examples of that in the show cheaters in case you are in doubt.

Begging Forgiveness - Don't Do It

2011-02-21T01:04:00.000-08:00

Don't be pathetic. Begging for forgiveness is the same as begging for money. Why would you be given something more valuable than money, people's trust, when you don't deserve it?

If you want to be forgiven for something stupid you've done to your relationship, (cheating, emotional affairs) you should EARN it. Here are some ways to earn back your partners trust.

1. Accept that you made a mistake, and listen to your spouse's demands. Do it even if it doesn't seem reasonable (within limits).

2. VOLUNTEER to go to marriage conseling. This will save up so much trouble and drama. You don't want drama.

3. Never be a know-it-all in this type of situation. Don't pretend you know why this happened and how to avoid it. You don't. You got caught cheating and now you must face the music.

4. "I did it because you didn't do X for me. I had to get X from somewhere else. It's not my fault I" anything that sounds remotely like this is the most pathetic thing a cheating spouse who got caught can do. I'm guessing you've all seen this on an episode or two of Cheaters (the show with Joey Greco).

5. When participating in one of the activities your husband or wife has planned, don't "drag your feet" or be constantly letting her know how horrible the experience is and it's not affecting anything. That won't help and build up even more negativity between both of you.

6. Remember anytime that you both were enjoying your time together, and recreate that moment. Enjoyed a trip together? Go on a trip together. You may even consider booking a couples retreat, specifically ones to help couples suffering from midlife crisis.

7. Don't assume your spouse will forgive you. Some husbands and wives stick to bad relationships for the sheer love of their children.

When to think about divorcing your spouse?

2011-02-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

Since this blog started, there have been around 300 comments, and most of these comments have been people stating that they are "so miserable", but still "want to make it work".This is NOT how a relationship should be, and maybe you should consider getting a divorce. You might be thinking "what?? a divorce? It's not serious, I can deal with it." right? My question to you is why do you think divorce is a bad thing for you? Divorce is almost always a good thing for you, maybe a good thing for your children as well in the long run

Why is divorce a good thing?

1. There has been zero happy relationships that have been ended because of a divorce.That's the truth. I don't think there are any truly happy relationships that have been ended by a divorce. A divorce is a good thing because if you are thinking of one, you are most probably in an awful relationship with a partner who refuses to change.

2. Raising children in an unhappy marriage will affect them negatively a lot more than raising children as a single parent. I know alot of single moms and single dads whose children grow up happy and live "normal" lives. I don't know a single child who grew up happy living under a roof where their parents are constantly fighting and yelling at each other. It's abusive to you and your children if you keep living a miserable life. The key to being happy in a relationship, or life even, is not being miserable and having to live with something you don't have to.

3. It is very liberating. Especially if you had to sacrifice to keep a relationship going, while your spouse never reciprocated. After a divorce you can just focus on you, or you and your kids if you have any. It's not the end of the world, it's just the end of a bad relationship. No more having to blame yourself, no more having to put up with things you were forced to put up with. It's just you focusing on you and how to improve the quality of your life.

Here's a few scenarios where you SHOULD consider ending your relationship with a nice quick divorce.

1. You caught your spouse cheating. They promised to do this and that, but when it comes time do what they said, you get little to no action. If your spouse has even the tiniest bit of respect for you and values your relationship, they'd at least bother to go to marriage counseling with you at least ONCE.

2. Your spouse is overly flirts and you confronted them about it. They repeatedly shrug it off and say "it's nothing", even though it is against marriage and a disrespect to you as a person when they flirt with someone else. If your spouse refuses to even consider talking about this, then you can be sure if an opportunity to have an emotional affair rears itself, your spouse will most likely take it. Overly flirting and undermining YOUR needs and the boundaries of your marriage is a sign that your relationship maybe on the rocks. Especially if this is the first time you've had your relationship "tested" and a compromise needed to be made.

3. You are sick of being lied to. Getting lied to a couple of times, maybe you could look passed that. Getting lied to for years, I say divorce your spouse. To quote possibly the most intelligent man who has ever lived on the planet Earth, "Insanity : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."- Albert Einstein

Just remember that if it feels like you're forcing it to work, you probably are. It won't last if you're the only one trying to save your marriage.

Keep Cellphone From Being Spied On

2011-02-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

We talk alot about mobile spies and cellphone software that can let people read texts messages remotely in this blog. But how do we prevent malicious people from doing it to our mobilephones?

With a cellphone spy that reads simcards, your only option of preventing people from spying on it is not to let them get their hands on your cellphone. Sim card readers basically extract data from simcards, meaning they need to physically insert your simcard into the simcard reader. You can't do anything about it if they get your simcard, they could simply insert it in the card reader and plug it in a PC and they can get your data.

With a cellphone spy SOFTWARE, those that remotely view your inbox/pictures/videos, you will have to password protect your cellphone so no one but you can open your phone. If they do not know your password, they can't install the cellphone spies. You have to make sure your password is difficult to crack, because once someone can access your cellphone, they can spy on it by installing the software. Since these softwares are undetectable, there's not much you can do.

You can also just disable the internet on your cellphone, that way the mobie spies (if there are any) can't connect to the webserver and transmit your data for others to view.

Things that may mean your cellphone is being spied on/tapped :

The battery, even when unused, gets hot/warm.
Unexpected blinking LEDs
Unexpected internet activity (although some are undetectable)
Random noise/beeping when you are in a phone conversation.
LED/Phone light button stays lit or lightly lit even after turning off the phone.

Mobile Phone Spy FAQs

My spouse installed a Mobile Phone Spy on my phone, but I changed phones but still have the same number, can I still get spied on?
No. These mobile phone spies are software based spy tools, meaning if you change your phone, that means you have a brand new system, with nothing installed on it.

Can I install anti spyware to prevent my phone from being spied on?
You could, if they were made to detect these custom mobile phone spies. The custom made cell phone spies (the ones on the sidebar) are currently undetectable. They come with a subscription fee because the software continually evolves to patch over any anti spyware software you install. So you will be part of a continuous cycle of anti spyware patching over cell phone spies, and cell phone spies patching anti spyware. Patching refers to the software updating itself; cell phone spies patch to be undetected, anti spyware patches to detect.

What's the best way to prevent someone from spying on my phone?
Do the methods described above. For sim card readers, keep your cell phone away from people who might spy on them. For software based spies, keep your phone passworded and watch anyone who uses your phone to prevent them from installing anything. Don't let your cell phone out of your sight. Also disable blue tooth so people can't send you anything with viruses (these are different from cell phone spy programs). Anything that requires a download, such as multimedia files, images videos etc can contain malicious files. Don't know the sender? Don't accept the attachments.

What's the best way to avoid viruses?
Besides installing anti virus / anti spyware software, the old saying holds a lot of water. "If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't". Don't fall for freeware on the internet. Free ring tones, free images, free anything.

I'm not saying buy everything, just don't blindly accept or download things from the internet. Google the website you want to receive free stuff for before you download anything from them. Most browsers also have a malicious site detector that will warn you before you enter a website. Firefox has it, so you might want to download the free browser.

Disclaimer :

Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Private Investigators during Valentine's Day

2011-02-09T01:22:00.000-08:00

Different security businesses and private investigators say that cheating rate goes up during Valentine's Day. Some even go as far as to thank the cheaters for their increase in sales during valentine's day, because for them, when your spouse cheats on you they make a lot of money from selling their services to help you catch your spouse red handed. Knowing the fact that there are more instances of cheating during valentine's day, you should plan ahead to prevent cheating.

Some things you could do, if you don't know whether or not you have a cheating spouse is look for cheating signs. If you know you have a cheating spouse, set a plan for valentine's day and make sure your spouse will have no excuse to leave or not be with you on that day. If they have already preemptively said that they will be out of town for work, or have other things to do and can't be home, you could take a look at GPS car trackers, or cellphone GPS software to track your car or your cellphone.

Watch what this private investigator has to say about cheaters and private investigators.

A day in the life of a private eye

If you are looking to hire a private eye, please read this guide to help you select a private investigator. Be sure to do your research, if you hire an amateur PI, he or she may get you into legal trouble if they do anything illegal.

If you have had any experience with a private investigator, please use the "private investigator reviews" page and post about it to help others who are looking for a good reliable PI company.

On a lighter note, watch jimmy kimmel make fun of cheaters in this video :

Save Your Marriage or Ditch it?

2011-01-28T22:12:00.000-08:00

When should you consider ending or saving your marriage?

Let's face it, even if you love your spouse with all your heart, you should accept the possibility that you have fallen for the wrong person. It's pointless thinking "how can I save my marriage" over and over and over if your spouse is unwilling. Even if you unconditionally love your husband or wife, if they don't want to be with you there is no way to keep them, and you'll have to accept that. That's as blunt as I can put it, a partnership is only a partnership if both people want it to be a partnership. All the love in the world won't save your marriage if it's coming from only one person in the relationship.

Don't even read any further if you feel that your spouse is not cooperative, has no will to save your marriage, or you simply feel they do not care one iota about what is happening to you and your family. Just look for a divorce lawyer and save yourself a lot of wasted time and energy crying over nothing. I say nothing because there really is nothing about it that you can do. Don't want to snap out of your delusional bubble just because I said so? Go and take a look at the country's(for America at least) divorce rate. If your spouse doesn't want you, go right ahead and leave him/her. They probably never deserved you in the first place anyway. Save your unconditional love for someone worth it.

According to an article in Time Magazine, Jennifer Baker, director of the marriage- and family-therapy programs at Forest Institute, says that the divorce rate is a tricky statistic, and said that the 50% of all marriages statistic is not accurate at all.

Here's some interesting statistics taken from divorce experts on the Time article :

"23% of college graduates who married in the '70s split within 10 years."

"49% of those who married young and did so without a degree lasted 20 years."

I'm sure those statistics did not care to include how many spouses were in "forced relationships", or who just didn't want to end the relationship no matter how unhappy they were. I'm not trying to be mean, but think about how much happier you would be in a relationship where both of you love each other. If you're the only one giving love that is not a real marriage and you should stop trying to save your marriage, and just end it.

"My spouse cheated on me, can we still save our marriage?"
That would depend on your husband or wife, are they willing to work on saving your marriage? Do they accept what YOU want to do to save your marriage? Are they compromising, accepting, or making excuses for cheating on you?

A sign that you can still save your marriage is that your spouse is agreeing with you when you say you want to go to marriage counseling. Your husband or wife should agree to anything you say to help steer the direction of your marriage towards repairing trust. Marriage counseling is what you need, aside from being honest with each other. For some people who can't afford to pay for marriage counseling, I suggest saving up for it. Even just a few sessions of marriage counseling. I can't give you a price because it differs from area to area, but if you are seriously wanting to save your relationship and avoid divorce, go to Google.com and search "Marriage counseling *your city*".

Alternatives to Marriage counseling
We live in the age of the internet, so you probably have thought of looking up online marriage counseling. If you haven't yet, those do exist. Some call it "telecounseling", it's usually for people who do not want to be seen at a "shrink", or just people who are strapped for cash. It's a cheaper, private alternative for marriage counseling. What I can recommend is you try out this eCourse on saving your marriage, by Dr Gunzburz. It's alot cheaper than going to an actual marriage counseling course in real life.

If you are not going to take this ecourse seriously, don't bother signing up. Just drag your spouse to a marriage counselor when you can afford to (which you also need to treat seriously). It's still worth taking a look at the testimonials from couples they have helped. The course is called "Save My Marriage Today" by Amy Waterman, and the link above is the "Blue Print For Saving Your Marriage" by Dr. Gunzburg.

I recommend Dr. Gunzburg because they also offer one on one online coaching sessions, and both their courses, save your marriage and how to survive an affair, are focused on the individual and then the couple; so each of you will get your own assignments and workbook that you will need to complete.

On the other hand, if you chose to ditch your marriage instead of save it, stay tuned for the divorce article with tips on how to do your own divorce and how not to lose your possessions in a bad divorce.

How to save your marriage

1. Marriage counseling - You need to drop your pre-defined notion of what people do in marriage counseling and just go. These are professionals who will help save your marriage. There are also other courses, for divorced people who want to make sure their kids get the best support before, during and after a divorce. For alternatives to this method, see the above links for the online marriage counseling courses.

2. Couples retreat - Same as marriage counseling but you dedicate a whole week, or more sometimes, to get away from it all and go to a place that will destress you both. I'd recommend this much more than just finding a local marriage counselor because in normal marriage counseling, you just head on over to your local marriage counselor, finish your session, or group session if you opted for that, then head on back home. In a regular troubled marriage, it is very stressful in the house and there is lots of tension, especially after a bout with infidelity. In a couples retreat, it's a long period of time where you get to spend AND enjoy time with your loved one. The benefits far outweigh the price couples retreats have over regular counseling. It also makes for a good "surprise gift" if your relationship is in the dumps, but not yet to the point you both are thinking of ending it.

3. Compromise and Planning - Set aside a day for the sole purpose of compromise and planning. Take a day off from work if you have to. This is important and you should treat it as important. This is something you can do as a couple with no help from a professional marriage counselor. List down the things that are causing problems in your relationship and thoroughly discuss it. You should each give a reason why it is causing problems, and what you are willing to do. When my husband and I were having problems, we did this right before going to a couples retreat, which we also again did there.

What I wanted a compromise for was his boundaries with the opposite sex, because he had one workmate who was flirting with him and was getting touchy. I told him that he should not allow other women to be touchy with him, same thing I do and not allow any other man but him to be touchy with me. I told him it makes me feel jealous and he should only allow that with me, his wife. He said he didn't even consider it hurtful and he didn't know I got jealous, and he agreed. It was that simple to get rid of flirting. They're still friends up to now, but there's just no more flirty-touching going on. The reason we went to couples retreat was because we wanted to strengthen our relationship, not exactly save it because we are doing fine. In the retreat we learned to appreciate one another more and made a plan on how to deal with little insecurities that usually end up in small fights.

Unfortunately for my first marriage, my then husband was unwilling to change ANYTHING, and I was unwilling to accept being a doormat and changing everything for him. I divorced my first husband, and my husband now (Mike), understands how I feel more than anyone else because he too was a victim of infidelity. Although we from time to time have problems, it's nothing we can't fix, and ultimately we are both very happy together.

4. Honesty - It's as simple as that. Just be honest with each other. If you have trust issues because you have been cheated on, you will HAVE to open up again and trust your spouse. Slowly, but surely trust in your spouse. A marriage counselor will help quicken this development, but it will still be up to you whether you believe your spouse can be trusted again or not.

No amount of counseling or retreats will convince someone who doesn't want to believe their spouse is capable of change. For those people, you should think about getting a divorce. Don't look at divorce as something negative. If you are MISERABLE in your relationship, divorce is a GOOD thing.

Friendship vs Emotional Affairs

2011-01-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

What's the difference between friendship and emotional affairs? Some of you may be a little bit over protective over your spouse's relationship. Having a friend of the opposite sex will not destroy your marriage. How do you know if your wife's friend is actually trying to steal her away? How do you know if your husband's secretary is only working on company matters, and not your husband?

Watch for signs of an emotional affair! You don't need to outright BAN them from having friends of the opposite sex, you just need to watch how your spouse interacts with them. Being jealous without anything that backs up your suspicion is just being irrational and paranoid. Try to think of it rationally, ask yourself if you would do the same to a friend of the opposite sex.

Some of the things that should be considered as "red flags" of an emotional affair are :

1. Your spouse continues conversation with the person even after work. Unneeded interaction may not always be considered a sign of an emotional affair, but it should be monitored especially if your spouse is the one initiating it. If for example your wife is always being texted or called after work times by a workmate, then there are a few options for her. 1 would be to entertain the phone call if it is work related, and then end it when they are done with work. 2. Tell the workmate they can talk about it at work, if it isn't urgent. 3. Reply to text message that are only work related.

This can change if your spouse is friends with this person. It isn't normal for a few minutes of socialization, but if they talk for an hour or so after work, regarding things that are not work related, then this could be a sign of an emotional affair building up.

2. Webcam chats with your spouse. I don't think this is even necessary for work chats online. Unless there's a special case that absolutely needs a webcam, this is definitely a sign of an emotional affair. You can tell whether or not your spouse is hiding something if he/she minimizes the webcam videos when you enter the room.

Chatting from time to time is okay, but do you really need to use the webcam? Take note of what your spouse is wearing too. They may be having more than a chat. If you suspect that they are having some inappropriate chats through cams, you may want to get a simple keylogger that takes screenshots of your computers activity before you confront them. When you confront a spouse they may try to be more secretive and might not even use the computer anymore when you are around.

3. Hiding emails and text messages. Another sign of emotional affairs, or even cheating. When someone texts or emails you and your spouse sees you texting/typing, if she asks what are you doing what do you respond? You're open and honest about it right? That's because it's the normal way of answering someone when you have nothing to hide.

Now if your spouse's reaction to you asking about his or her texts/emails is something defensive and secretive, you may be dealing with an emotional affair or actual infidelity. A spouse with nothing to hide would even allow you to look at their emails or cellphone. It's pretty common that spouse's know each others passwords or allow you to use their cellphones.

4. You catch your spouse confiding in a person of the opposite sex. This is a sensitive subject and would depend on what your husband or wife is confiding. If it's something serious like how your marriage is on the rocks and needs to be saved, is definitely not something you talk about with just a normal friend. Especially not something you would talk about with a friend of the opposite sex. I would consider that they are either in an emotional affair already, or this could be the start of an emotional affair.

Now what would you normally talk about with a friend? Financial problems would be acceptable, Car problems, shopping help (usually husbands ask their wife's friends for help), anything generic that does not involve your spouse's relationship with you. You can be sure they are in an emotional affair if they straight out go to the other person even before you. This can be done over the email, sms, or chatting online.

5. Spending time with someone after work. Another sensitive subject, it's who your wife or husband goes out with after work and what they do. It's an emotional affair if your wife goes out with another man (from work) and they eat dinner together. Once in a while, it may be acceptable and considered friendship, but if it's a regular thing that they eat out together every friday or everyday I would consider that an emotional affair.

I would consider it friendship, and not an emotional affair, IF they eat together with a group of other workmates. That's normal, and friends do that all the time. But if they are just together alone with each other, that's different. Try to get a GPS tracker to monitor your car or cellphone if you can't be sure of this. Even better, if they go out in a group with other workmates, get to know the workmates and befriend someone. You can then find out from that person how they interact with each other within the group.

Some things that is considered leaving the world of emotional affairs and heading straight to real, physical affairs that ruin marriages are :

1. Hand holding. This is what lovers do. Subtle way of letting the people around know you are connected. An emotional affair is usually just sharing intimate details with someone who is not your spouse and confiding in them. Hand holding is physical and should only ever be done with your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

2. Different types of flirting. This is what you first do when you started dating your spouse. Flirting lets the other person know you are very much interested or attracted to them. It's what let you know that your spouse was interested in your, and it's what led to your marriage. If your spouse is now flirting with someone else, then that's a sign of an affair beginning, not just an emotional affair anymore.

3. Favors. A touchy topic, but favors someone would do for your spouse that they wouldn't do to anyone else is a sign that they are beginning a relationship. Things like driving them somewhere. Taking them home. Picking them up. Buying them things. Being extra nice. All make it look like they are dating or she is being courted.

4. Throwing them a party for a special occation. If your spouse has a birthday coming up, and some girl/guy is the one who throws them a party instead of you, WITHOUT trying to contact you so you can arrange the party together, that's them making a move on your spouse. Not only are they wanting to build a relationship with your spouse, they're also undermining you by not including you in the preparation so they can take full credit.

5. Buying them inappropriate clothing. This is self explanatory. No regular "friend" would buy your wife lingerie and ask them to wear it. Some people do this and even ask your spouse if they are wearing it. If your spouse entertains this, there is something going on. If your spouse kept this secret from you and you found out on your own, you can be sure something is going on.

More info on what is an emotional affair.

Differences between emotional affairs and friendship

Here are some examples of situations on how your spouse would act if they were in a normal situation vs if they were in an emotional affair.

After work, a workmate of the opposite sex asks your spouse to go out for drinks.

In a normal relationship your spouse would call or text you that they will be drinking with that person, and tell you they'll be late. No secrecy, no reason to be afraid to tell you the truth, because it's all innocent. This could happen often, or once in awhile, it doesn't matter because you always know and their story always fits the timeline.

If they are having an emotional affair, your spouse won't tell you they're going out to drink, but probably give you the tired old excuse of "going to work overtime". If you install some sort of spy tool to track your spouse and try to "fish" for information, they will almost always react negatively and feel "insulted" (good liars do this to divert the topic of the conversation).

Your wife, who is a housewife, starts chatting with people online while you are at work.
In a normal relationship, the housewife will tell you about their day, including the chats they've had (with or without men). They won't have any specific guy they talk to, they just happen to talk to guys online. If anything crosses the "friend line" they permanently stop talking to them, and tell you about what happened.

If they are having an emotional affair, you won't even know that your wife chats online while you are gone. Period. Women are better at keeping secrets than men. I'm not saying men don't keep secrets too, but women are just better at it. If you do by chance smell something fishy going on and install a keylogger on your computer, you will notice that all her time chatting is spent with mostly one other guy, and the details of what they are talking about are something that only a wife's husband should know.

Your husband has a friend who is "touchy feely".
In a normal relationship, your husband would immediately put distance between themselves. If his girl friend continues doing so, he may remind her that he is married or set her straight by telling her to watch her boundaries.

If they are having an emotional affair, they won't react and would let his girl friend do as they please. This is a sign that their emotional affair is slowly breaking into the physical barrier. Once they are comfortable emotionally, it only takes a little more time before they start to becoming physically intimate.

Your spouse gets a phone call after work, from a workmate.
In a normal relationship, your spouse would either dismiss the call if it was unimportant or take a few minutes to work on it.

In an emotional affair, your spouse will use this as an excuse to leave the room to get some privacy for their "work" related call. If they've already got a full blown affair going your spouse might even use this as an "emergency" call that warrants a trip back to the office.

Detect a Tracking Device in your car

2011-01-18T18:22:00.000-08:00

Recent emails said that my first post, is your car being tracked by gps, was not clear, so I'll post about it again and attempt to clarify.

First of all, I'm not writing this because I support the cheating spouses and don't want them to get caught, I'm writing this just to help educate those who don't know. You might even be the one getting tracked by a cheating spouse so they know where you are at all times! Before you continue, I would just like to remind everyone, that tracking and REMOVING a spy device/GPS device in your car placed there by the government to monitor you IS ILLEGAL. If you have a GPS device that was attached somewhere in your car by the government DO NOT REMOVE IT. Just wanted to make that clear.

Okay, so moving back to topic, how do we detect a tracking device in our car? You have two options.

First is to look for local directory, list down all the mechanics that are near your area and ask them if they provide an RF scanner service/GPS detection service. If they do, problem solved. Just take your car down to the mechanics and have them do a "sweep" on your car.

Second option to detect a tracking device, if you don't want to take your car to a mechanic, you can order an RF detector and do it yourself (click picture to see an RF detector). What is an RF detector? It's simply a device that monitors the signals GPS devices/cellphones send out. Sort of like this :

GPS sends out signal -> Satellite receives signal and sends it back to receiver --> Person spying on you gets your exact location on the map

An RF detector will beep/flash when it detects the signal being sent from the GPS (if your car has one attached) to the satelliate, and that's when you'll know you are being spied on. Makes it seem like we're in some kind of spy movie, right? This is one of the problems technology has brought with it, people can actually use satellites to spy on you.

This does not just mean your cheating spouse could be spying on you, it could mean anyone who can buy a GPS tracker can spy on you or your kids. Which is why I wrote this article, to help give you more knowledge to protect your family.

Even though I find it perfectly acceptable for a spouse to attach a GPS in a car they both own (it's LEGAL to attach GPS to a car you own BTW), I still want to provide this info for those who don't know how to detect a GPS device in their cars. Never attach a GPS device on someone's car if they are not your spouse/kids/family. It's illegal. Only reason I find it acceptable to attach it to your family member's cars is for protection, and of course if you suspect your spouse is cheating on you.

Reverse Image Tracking

2011-01-18T12:54:00.000-08:00

So you opened your spouse's email, and found several pictures of an unknown girl/guy. You want to know who this person is and is this person cheating with your spouse. You don't have the cash to spare for a private investigator, cellphone spies, or keyloggers, so you try to look up pictures of the same person on your spouse's facebook/myspace but can't find any. In this article I'll teach you how to use Reverse Image tracking to find out the origins or other copies of that same picture you just found on your spouse's email.

This is useful for those of you who have access to your spouse's facebook/myspace/emails where they keeps pictures in. It's not uncommon for cheating spouses to keep pictures of the women or men they cheat with. So to save money and not have to hire a private investigator to track the picture's origin, you can try and do a little detective work of your own.

This method will only work for people who actually find pictures that their cheating spouses' hide. Whether this will help you decide that you have a cheating spouse or not is up to you, what I'm going to show you now is just how to find the source of that picture.

Steps to Reverse Image Tracking :

Step 1 Download that picture to your desktop.

Step 2 Upload that picture to this website.

Step 3 Select "Best Match" under Sort Order.

That's all you need to do and you'll be able to see all pictures that are either similar, or identical to your spouse's pic you uploaded. You can also try and upload a picture of your spouse to check what other websites are hosting it. Your husband or wife may have another social site/website/secret blog that they are not telling you about. Great way to find out for free if your spouse has any signs that they are cheating.

Here's an example of the above steps. We'll use a picture of someone famous, like Marilyn Monroe.

First we upload the picture. You can also just link to it directly. To link to a picture directly, select the picture of your spouse, or the suspected person they are cheating with and do one of the following :

FireFox browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Copy Image location"
Paste that copied link on the link option to the right of the upload option.

For Google Chrome browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Copy Image URL"
Paste that copied link on the link option to the right of the upload option.

For Internet Explorer browsers
Right click on the picture and click on "Properties"
Highlight and copy the URL found on "Adress (URL)" line and paste it on the link option to the right of the upload option.It should look like this if you choose to upload. If you chose to directly link (won't work if your spouse's picture is set to private or is at their email), link should be filled up instead of the upload option.

The results will then be displayed after the website searches for the pictures inside their database. It should look like this when you're done. The red area is where your results will be displayed, with the most relevant starting at the top.

This will hopefully help you find out if your spouse could potentially be cheating on you, or show you the origins of the pictures they secretly keep. If you get lucky and find someone's facebook/myspace or website with their name on it, and you think that person could be cheating on your with your spouse, you can try and take this step a little further by looking for a phonenumber on their social sites and the running a background check on that phone. There's a link on the sidebar for reverse phone tracking which is private and discreet. You could also use that reverse phone tracking tool on unknown or unsaved phone numbers on your spouse's cellphone or your home phone's caller ID.

If you're gutsy enough that you don't care if they find out about you (with their caller ID or *69) you can just call them and fish for information, like their name and if they know who your spouse is.

Some tips on where to find pictures to reverse image track

1. If you have access to your spouse's phone, upload the pictures to your computer and then use reverse image tracking to find out who those people are or where their sites/facebok/myspace is located at.

2. Use a cellphone spy program that lets you download images and videos from your spouse's phone if you don't have access to it.

3. Check the company website your husband/wife works for and look at the employees section. Try and remember someone of the opposite sex that your spouse has either talked about little too much, or never mentioned them at all and run their pictures on the reverse tracking site.

4. Do a search on your computer for hidden files/images.

5. You can also try and googling your spouse's name, and see who posts his/her pictures, or talks about him/her.

Got caught cheating on your spouse, now what?

2011-01-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

So you got caught(serves you right), and now you're thinking s/he is always going to think I'm a cheating husband/wife, what can I do to gain their trust back? Here are some things you should know if you want to genuinely save your marriage and repair the broken trust. And of course never cheat again.

Common things cheating spouses say or do after they get caught :

I love you. Sure it's sweet when you say it when YOU DON'T CHEAT, but it's just not going to cut it after you cheat on your spouse. You might even incite a meltdown or get your spouse to yell at you for saying that after you did the opposite of what a lover does. Don't do this.

It's not that I X it's because you think Y. NEVER EVER try to convince, argue or talk your way out of an affair. Your husband or wife will never change their feelings on what happened, especially if they caught you with evidence from a cellphone spy, or video cam. You'd have to be extremely dense to even attempt to do this after you got caught cheating.

Be over the top. Try to imply your spouse is exaggerating what happened, it was just sex I don't love her, or it was nothing you're being too sensitive about this, I didn't cheat on you, we just used the phone. Do this and you will most likely never get his or her trust back.

Overly Pessimistic. If you get caught cheating and you act overly pessimistic and think you will never gain her trust back and save your marriage, you will never gain your trust back and save your marriage. You are at fault, and you have to earn her trust back. Don't act like this, and you will eventually gain it back.

Blaming your spouse. Probably the most common of all the after affair responses, the blame game. Hasn't work, will never work, don't even try it.

Acting depressed and threatening suicide. May work for a short period of time, but not because you fixed the consequences of your affair, but because you guilted him/her into staying with you. What are you going to do when your spouse stay with you until you are better, then leaves you after that, threaten to suicide again? That won't work, don't be pathetic and do this. Suicide is cowards.

Involving relatives to help persuade your spouse. No. Just don't do this. You shouldn't try to persuade your spouse that everything is okay even if you cheated, which makes involving relatives to help persuade them even more a wrong move. You may even get your spouse to leave the house. You are just asking for a divorce.

Lies. "I really won't cheat on you anymore" "This is the last time I do X and I won't even talk to Y anymore". This is just wrong, do not do this. Anyone who has been cheated on knows that your words won't mean anything until you gain trust back. How do you gain trust back? Actions, not words. You can sweet talk your husband or wife all you want, if you don't show improvements in action you aren't going to see improvements in trust.

Believing everything will be okay. You go to church, confess your sins, and then think everything will magically be alright when you get home. Sorry, god won't do anything for you. It's like people praying for a car, or a new house, or more money. Just won't work.

Bribing your spouse. You start buying your spouse things, you start doing things for your spouse you don't normally do, you say you'll do anything to make it up. Not going to work. If your spouse tells you to go to marriage counseling with her, you better go. That's a positive step, but just buying your wife/husband new things won't do anything.

Those are the things to avoid doing after you've cheated on your loved one, now here are some things that will actually help :

Accept that YOU were wrong. If you've been cheated on by your husband or wife, you know how painful it feels. Blaming them will cause them even more pain. When your spouse is so depressed and they feel like there's nothing else BUT depression, they will do what any human would do, cut you out of their lives. So don't blame them.

Accept what they want to do. If your spouse loves you enough to stay with you after you have betrayed their trust, accept what they want you to do. You shouldn't haggle or beg, accept. They want you to come home at 7PM, accept that and do it. They want you to attend marriage counselling with them once a week? Accept that. They want you to send them a text message once in a while whenever you have free time? Do it, I don't see why you wouldn't want to talk to your spouse, you did marry that person.

Tell your wife or husband what caused the affair. Sometimes this can be something as simple as that. You were not getting X so you went to Y to get X. After telling your spouse this, DO NOT FORCE YOUR SPOUSE to do it, find a compromise. If you can't find a compromise, wait it out and try again. You should know that someone who has been cheated feels very vulnerable, depressed, and USED. So let him or her come to terms with the affair you had, and s/he'll most likely want to find even ground.

Act happy. Yes, even if you aren't. When s/he makes you do something, do it and act happy. Don't feel like you are forced to do any of it, and do it like it was your idea and you want to do it. If you accept everything she wants to do, but do it in a manner that implies you hate doing it, you may as well get a divorce and save both of you the time.

Are you willing to do all of these? Or do you want to get a divorce? You should think about that because cheating on someone twice, or staying with them til you can find someone better is just cruel and a waste of time for your spouse.

If you are serious about wanting to save your marriage, you might want to read this book or even enroll at an online course. You could also contact a local marriage counselor by googling "marriage counseling *your location*". Nothing says you are serious about saving your marriage more than actions. Reading a book on how to save your marriage, enrolling in a course, or telling your spouse you were wrong and want to take her to a local marriage counselor is one of the best ways to make up for having an affair.

Catch Cheating Spouse Cell Phone / Mobile Phone Affairs

2011-01-08T23:36:00.001-08:00

Overview on the similarities of both cellp hone spies :

Both of these work internationally, as long as the phone can connect to the internet.
Both can read sent, stored, and deleted text messages.
Both have GPS tracking that make use of Google Maps.
Both have a phonebook viewer.
Both have a call details log.
Both can be installed in multiple phones that you own.

Scroll to the very bottom of this page for the exact phones they work on, or click on relevant links to see the manufacturer's page. Please READ the disclaimers of the manufacturers before buying, and read up on your local state laws regarding the monitoring of your spouse's cellphone.

I posted an article "Cell phone spy overview" almost 2 years ago, and people ask the same question over and over. I posted that article in hopes of providing something to help GUIDE you into picking your own cellphone spy software to catch a cheating spouse. I've been answering your individual comments when I have time, but I know I'm not always quick in getting it done (I have a life too you know) so I decided to do a follow up to it that will hopefully answer your more specific question "What do I use to spy on my spouse's *insert phone here*"

If you stumbled onto this page first and want a general overview on the different types of cell phone spies available, check the first post. It briefly describes the usual cellphonespy softwares you are likely to find, there are more but those 3 are the most common ranging from cheapest($30-40) to most expensive ($100+).

The most commonly asked question is "What can I use to spy on my spouse's iPhone/blackberry/Android/Symbian ?". Since most of the comments don't like the generic cellphone spy software descriptions, I'll get into specifics on this one.

I picked a cellphone spy that is useable in almost any smart phone (iPhone/blackberry/android/symbian), is moderately priced ($60), has a 60 day money back guarantee, and comes with all the features most of us want in a cellphone spy. I consider this a steal because of all the features available and of course the 60day guarantee.

Cellphone Spy 1 overview - Click here for the actual softwareCurrently on discount.~~$60~~ $49 marked down from $150 (As of May 2011)
One time fee, no subscriptions.

If you have an old phone, you are stuck to using hardware based simcard readers, this is software that is designed for smartphones (iphone/blackberry/etc)

Cellphone Spy 1 Works with the following phones :

Android phones 1.0 or higher
BlackBerry phones OS 4.2.1 or higher
iPhone OS 2.x, 3.x and 4.x
Symbian S60 3rd Edition, 3rd Edition Feature Pack 1, 3rd Edition Feature Pack 2 and 5th Edition Phones
Windows Mobile 5.x and 6.x

SMS/text message viewer - The core feature that we want. SMS Tracking allows us to view text messages on your spouse's cellphone remotely, no hardware necessary. Hardware SMS tracking requires you to remove your spouse's simcard and insert it into the card reader to extract data. You won't need that with this software. It not only lets you read it remotely through the website you register on, it will also show you EVERY text message, whether it's still in the inbox or not. Yes, DELETED text messages are shown to you.

Call tracking - An additional bonus, you get to see call specific details. Such as the NAME of the caller, or who your spouse called (if it is a registered number), the cellphone number, the exact time the call was made or received and how long the conversation lasted. I think this is sufficient enough, the cellphone spies that actually record calls or allows you to listen in costs around $500+, which is a bit too much an unnecessary in most cases.

Phone Book spying - You can get to spy on your wife/husband's phonebook on their cellphone. It lists every number on the website so you can do it remotely.

GPS tracking - This cellphone spy also gives you the ability to track the exact location of the cellphone ANYWHERE in the world. It also has a function that lets you see exactly where they are on Google Maps. Another core feature that is a necessity in my opinion. If you're looking for GPS tracking this is actually cheaper then getting the stand alone GPS trackers found on amazon ($50-100+ depending on models).

Ease of use - This software spy is a "set and forget" type of thing. Once you install it (takes around a minute), it is undetectable and you don't even need access again to your husband or wife's phone. Just install it, log on to the website and remotely monitor your spouse's phone activities or track their location via Google Maps/GPS tracking.

Multiple phones - You can use this to track not only your spouse's phone but also your kids. For $60 you can monitor unlimited phones, which is why I called it a steal, because if we rely on hardware we are limited to just 1 phone / cellphone spy.

Security - Did I mention that it is undetectable? Well it is. It's invisible once you're done installing. Never touch your spouse's phone after you install, all you need to do is log in to the software's website and you can remotely monitor all phones you installed the software on. They GUARANTEE it cannot be detected. If it does get detected, you'll get 100% of your money back. It's not difficult recommending something that has a 60 day 100% money back guarantee.

Support staff - This mobile spy software comes with support on their website, it also has an added optional fee($10) if you want premium support. Not sure why anyone would need that though because it's simple to install and track the cellphone's activities. As long as you read the phones they work with you'll be okay and not need to use the support. (I listed above the phones the software works with)

Will my phone work with this software?
This cellphone spy software requires an internet connection, the complete list of phones(exact names) that work with this phone is attached at the bottom of the page.

How does this spy software work?

Step 1. After you buy the software, it will allow you to download it.

Step 2. Install on a mobile phone that you own. ( Please do your own research on your own state laws regarding spy devices that monitor cell phones or other types of conversations. Read the official site's disclaimers before you buy anything)

Step 3. Log in to the website and monitor the phone you installed it on.

How this particular cell spy software works is once installed, it can then communicate with the server and feed it all the details. It is undetected by the phone user, but still transmits data from the phone to the server, and all you do is log into the website and access the data there.

I numbered it Cellphone spy 1 because I'm researching more alternatives and decided to start on the one time payment software spies. This by far is the best for it's price, features, and money back guarantee, I don't really want to recommend something that will cost several hundred dollars or is just plain bad and does not work (no guarantee). For hundreds of dollar you could just hire a private investigator. I'll update when something better comes along.

Update January 2011: Added a more complex mobile spy, with image, video, website and more features.

CellphoneSpy 2 overview - Click here for the actual softwareUnlike the first cell phone spy, this has an $80 per year subscription.

Cellphone Spy 2's difference from cellphone spy 1 is that it is far more complex, with video, image and web usage tracking. If you only want to view your spouse's text messages/call times and duration/GPS location, get cellphone spy 1. Why I recommend cellphone spy 1 over this is because it's a one time fee of $49. Cellphone spy 2 is a YEARLY subscription.

Why is there a subscription? Simple because you use up more storage than you would with cellphone spy 1. With this mobile spy, you get everything you get from Cellphone spy 1 with some additional features. See pictures and descriptions below :

SMS tracking - Same as the first mobile spy discussed here, you get to view all texts that were made by the phone, deleted or not.

Call logs - Again, same as cellphone spy 1, you get to view the call details such as who called who, what numbers were in the call, what time did the call happen, and how long the call lasted.

GPS logs - Still the same as above, you will get the location of the phone and a link to where it is positioned on the map (via google maps).

Website logs - pretty self explanatory, all websites visited on that phone will be logged in your online account.

Photo logs - This will store all photos AND videos taken with the phone, and display them in your online account at full size/resolution. Think about this feature before you subscribe to this software, do you REALLY need to see your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend send dirty pictures? For some I think this is a bit too much, and would rather just see the texts and GPS locations.

Contact logs - Same as the above, your spouse's phonebook will be saved and will be viewable in your online account.

Email logs - This feature saves emails sent/received from your spouse's phone.

All the other features are pretty much self explanatory.

This cellphone spy is the EXACT, and I mean carbon copy, of this mobile spy but guess what, this only costs $80 per year, while the other mobile spy costs $50 every 4 months, or $100 per year. So if you buy cellspy 2, you'll save $70 vs their 4 month plan, or $20 vs their 1 year plan. I have no idea why they charge more if they have the exact same software. I guess some people feel safer buying from a website that says "USA based company". Whichever you choose, both cell phone spying software are identical, so if you want the cheaper version, get cellphone spy 2, if you want to pay $70/$20 more for the same thing, go with this mobile spy.

If you don't care about video, image, website, email tracking that cellphone spy 2 has, then go with cellphone spy 1 for it's basic 1 time payment cell spying features. It's what I recommend and I do not think it is necessary at all to try and catch you spouse sending or receiving nude photos or videos. That's a bit too much information and if they are doing that then you can definitely be sure they are "sexting" anyway. That's just my opinion, I do not need to see my spouse sending pictures of that sort because it will be too painful to handle and may impair reason.

Will my phone work with this software?
This cellphone spy software requires an internet connection, the complete list of phones(exact names) that work with this phone is attached at the bottom of the page.

What does the cellphone GPS tracking look like?

This is for both cellphone spy 1 and cellphone spy 2, although the graphical interface for both are different, the results are similar.

Step 1
Go to the main menu and look for the GPS logs section or GPS tracking section.

Step 2
Select a time and click "View Map". You can also adjust the frequency at which these locations are taken and saved. Don't be too aggressive and set it to scan their location every 10 minutes or something. Every hour (default) should be a good setting.

If you've been together with your partner for a long time, you'll know exactly where they go (work, bar, etc) so you can easily tell if they are lying when they are no at the place they claim to be.

Step 3
You'll then be taken to Google Maps with a green marker pointing to where exactly the cellphone currently is at that time you specified. From the Google Maps page you now have even MORE options. One is getting directions to that location and two is viewing the location via webcam (if it's available), using Google Earth, for a 3D image of the place, and viewing actual pictures of the place from a specific point of view. Here are a few pictures of what I found using both cellphone spies.

To get the exact address, either look at the picture to the top left and copy that address (landmark should be labeled using the Red A marker). You can get the directions from that landmark, or you can ask google (by clicking "get directions") to give you the exact directions to get to the actual green marker marked by your cellphone spy. The current location of the red landmark is seen on the picture to the right.

If you would like to view webcams on that area, you can check the left side or directly on the map if it is available.

You will also be able to view pictures of the actual area from different point of views. Just drag the little yellow person icon and drop it on one of the blue marker dots. Those blue marker dots are where people took pictures, so you can view those and see the area from the exact coordinates of the blue marker on the map. To do this, follow the example picture below.

I think these two are the only cellphone spy programs I'll recommend, since the others cost hundreds of dollars and have features I consider over kill ("silent calling" a phone to spy on immediate surrounding). If you would like to read the guide on how to pick your own cellphone spy, check out the sidebar link to that article. Be sure to read the comment section of that post as well.

After reading both articles, I'm sure you'll agree cell phone trackers are the cheapest tracking devices to use against cheating spouses when you factor in all the features. If you were planning to get a private eye, GPS device or, keylogger, I hope this has changed your mind. This is basically an all in one spy gadget, the most you will ever need.

Some FAQs :
Do I need to jailbreak my iPhone?
Yes.

Is jailbreaking legal?
Yes, the US Government says it's legal to jailbreak an iphone.

How do I jailbreak my phone?
Both sites have that included in their installation guide.

If my husband installed a spy software like this on my phone, and I change my number, will I still get spied on?
Yes, if you leave the phone's software untouched. You have to reformat your mobile before you can get rid of the spy program.

Will this work for x phone?
Scroll down to the list of cell phones below this section, I've listed pretty much all the phones they work with. You could also click on the cell phone spy you are interested in and check their list, or send an email to their support team.

How do I know the software is doing it's job?
After you've follow the manufacturer's installation guide, send a text message from your phone to the phone you installed the spyware on. Wait a few minutes, make sure the target's phone has internet access, then log on to their website. Your text message should appear in your online account's SMS log.

How do I spy on a non-smartphone cell phone? (old phones)
You won't be able to use ANY of these softwares listed for older cell phones, your choices are down to simcard readers. Simcard readers can read text messages on a simcard, that you physically insert into the card reader. If you have no access to your simcard, you will not be able to read the data in it.

List of Phones that work with Cellphone Spy 1 :

Blackberry phones :
Pearl 8100, Pearl 8120, Pearl 8130,Pearl Flip 8220, Pearl Flip 8230, Curve 8300, Curve 8310, Curve 8320, Curve 8330, iDEN 8350, BlackBerry 8703e, BlackBerry 8800, BlackBerry 8820, BlackBerry 8830, Curve 8900, 9500 Strom, 9530 Strom, 9550 Strom 2, Bold 9000

Android phones :
LG Eve, LG Amundsen, Sony-Ericsson Xperia X3, T-Mobile G2 Touch, T-Mobile G1, T-Mobile MyTouch 3G, T-Mobile Pulse, HTC Click, HTC Droid Incredible, HTC Lancaster, HTC Hero, HTC Nexus, HTC Dragon, HTC HTC EVO, HTC Eris, HTC Tattoo, HTC Dream, HTC Magic
Motorola Calgary, Motorola Heron, Motorola Droid, Motorola Motori,Motorola Devour, Motorola Milestone, Motorola MB200 Cliq, Samsung Behold 2, Samsung InstinctQ m900, Samsung GT i7500 Galaxy, Samsung Spica, Samsung Bigfoot, Samsung SHW-M100S, Samsung SPH M900 Moment,Google G2 myTouch, Google Nexus One, Google G1, Acer Liquid A1
Archos Phone Tablet, Dell Mini 3ix, Dell Streak, Docomo HT03A, Geeksphone One, Huawei U8230, Lenovo O1, Philips V808

Symbian OS:
LG KT615, LG KS10, LG KT610, Nokia 5320 XpressMusic, Nokia 6720 Classic, Nokia N96, Nokia 6760 Slide, Nokia N95, Nokia E61i, Nokia N85, Nokia N93i,Nokia N81 8GB, Nokia E61, Nokia N78, Nokia N93, Nokia N76, Nokia E60, Nokia E72, Nokia N91 8GB, Nokia 5500 Sport, Nokia E71, Nokia E55, Nokia N80, Nokia 3250, Nokia X6, Nokia E63, Nokia C5, Nokia N75, Nokia N97, Nokia 6290, Nokia 6210 Navigator, Nokia N71, Nokia 5530 XpressMusic,Nokia 6121 Classic, Nokia 5630 XpressMusic, Nokia E65, Nokia 5800 XpressMusic, Nokia 6110 Navigator, Nokia N95 8GB, Nokia E62, Nokia N86 8MP, Nokia 5700 XpressMusic, Nokia N82, Nokia 6710 Navigator, Nokia N79, Nokia 6730 Classic, Nokia N81, Nokia 6650 fold, Nokia E75, Nokia N92, Nokia E90 Communicator, Nokia E50, Nokia E71x, Nokia N91, Nokia 6220 Classic, Nokia E66, Nokia E52, Nokia N77, Nokia N97 mini, Nokia E51, Nokia 6790 Surge, Nokia N73, Nokia 5230, Nokia 6124 classic, Nokia 5730 XpressMusic, Nokia E70, Nokia 5800 Navigation Edition, Nokia 6120 Classic, Sony-Ericsson Vivaz, Sony-Ericsson Vivaz Pro, Sony-Ericsson Satio, Sony-Ericsson Satio, Samsung SGH-i560, Samsung SGH-i550, Samsung SGH-i458, Samsung SGH-i408, Samsung SGH-G810, Samsung SGH-i568, Samsung SGH-i550w, Samsung SGH-i520, Samsung SGH-i450, Samsung SGH-i400, Samsung SGH-i570, Samsung i8910 Omnia HD[7]

Iphone
2G, 3G, 3GS and 4G with operating systems 2.x, 3.x and 4.x

Windows OS phones
All Windows(OS 5 and OS 6) based phones.

List of Phones that work with Cellphone Spy 2 :

Blackberry Phones :
8800, 8820, 8830, Bold 9000, Bold 9700, Curve 8300, Curve 8310, Curve 8320, Curve 8330, Curve 8350i, Curve 8520, Curve 8530, Curve 8900, Electron 8700c, Electron 8700f, Electron 8700g, Electron 8700r, Electron 8703e, Electron 8705g, Electron 8707g, Electron 8707h, Electron 8707v, Pearl 8100, Pearl 8110, Pearl 8120, Pearl 8130, Pearl Flip 8220, Pearl Flip 8230, Tour 9630

Android Phones :
Acer Liquid A1, Acer Stream, ARCHOS Phone Tablet, Dell Aero, Dell Mini 3ix, Dell Streak, Docomo HT03A, Geeksphone one, Highscreen p5420, HKC Imobile v413, HTC Aria, HTC Click, HTC Desire, HTC Dragon, HTC Dream, HTC Droid Incredible, HTC Eris, HTC Evo 4G, HTC Hero, HTC Lancaster, HTC Legend, HTC Magic, HTC Tattoo, HTC Wildfire, Huawei u8230, Lenovo O1, LG Amundsen, LG Eve, LG Optimus, LG Snapdragon, Motorola Backflip, Motorola Calgary, Motorola Cliq, Motorola Cliq XT, Motorola Devour, Motorola Droid, Motorola Heron, Motorola Milestone, Motorola Motori, Motorola Quench, Nexus One, Pantech Sirius Sky, Philips V808, Samsung Beam, Samsung Behold 2, Samsung Bigfoot, Samsung Galaxy, Samsung Galaxy S, Samsung InstinctQ m900, Samsung m100s, Samsung Moment, Samsung SHW-M100S, Samsung Spica, Sciphone N19, Sciphone N21, Sony Ericsson Xperia X3, Sony Ericsson Xperia X10, T-Mobile Pulse, T-Mobile G1, T-Mobile G2 Touch, T-Mobile MyTouch 3G, Tiger G3
Vodafone 845

iPhones
4GB, 8GB, 16GB, 3G 8GB, 3G 16GB, 3GS 16GB, 3GS 32GB, iPhone 4 16GB, iPhone 4 32GB
Or any Apple iPhone firmware versions up to 4.1.0 for the 3G, 3GS or iPhone 4

Other than catching your spouse cheating, a cellphone tracker can be used for :
1. Know exactly where the phone is in case you lose it. Makes reporting it to the police much easier.

2. Make sure your teenagers are safe when they take trips out of town, and know exactly where they are when they have sleepovers.

3. If you provide cellphones to your employees, make sure they are using it properly and know where the location of the phone is at all times.

4. A replacement for a standalone GPS tracker. This is a pretty brilliant idea, especially if you want a GPS tracker that works internationally. Just buy the cheapest cellphone you can find that fits the requirements and install the phone there. It would also be a good idea to get not just the cheapest, but the smallest phone, so you can keep it hidden in a car. That's a lifetime one payment(lifetime subscription) GPS tracker that will last you as long as the cellphone would last(for cellphone spy 1 only). We're starting to think like professional spies :)

If cell phone trackers are not something you would want to use, or because your state laws prohibit you from using them, you might want to consider just settling for using hardware keyloggers for your home computer, maybe hidden cameras to monitor your home when you are not there.

Reminder :
Before you buy please double check the compatibility on the official sites for any changes that I may have missed. If your phone does not work with either of the two cellphone spy softwares you can request a 100% refund (within their 60 day guarantee). Don't forget to use the help sections or ask for tech support if you are lost. Both sites offer tech support and a user help section with guides.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Do men cheat more than women?

2011-01-06T01:22:00.002-08:00

We've been getting alot of comments recently from some of the male viewers of this site saying we are biased and only talk about men cheating. While it's true that the name of the site (how to catch a cheating husband) targets cheating men, we also talk about cheating women. I suppose it would be less offensive to men if we named the site how to catch cheating spouses instead. But back when this site started, it was just me writing about my experiences with infidelity, now some readers send their own thoughts and some friends contribute too. My husband now who was also once cheated on(when he still wasn't married) also contributes.

I do believe that times have changed and men and women both equally cheat now. In my personal opinion, the only reason men cheated more than women before is because women did not have as much opportunities to cheat than men did. In today's world women and men both work and women are not just house wives anymore (not saying being a housewife is easy, it's a full time job that requires alot of patience). I also believe that women nowadays have the advantage and can cheat easier than men can. If both a man and woman work outside their homes, the woman can easily cheat compared to a man simply because they call the shots when and if they would want to start an affair or sexual relationship.

Another factor I believe in why statistics show men cheat5-10% more than women is because some experts say women are better liars than men. "The biggest difference is that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret"- Dr David Holmes

Dr Holmes also states that "If you look at the studies into paternity, even conservative figures show that between 8 and 15% of children haven't been fathered by the man who thinks he's the biological parent." That's quite a number of cheating wives, and there are probably a lot more who have kept their secret better. Don't underestimate a cheating housewife just because they stay at home, they could cheat when they are on shopping trips, or have other people over when you are out of town.

Dr Holmes then goes on to say that "Women are better liars because they're more psychologically sophisticated", "You can argue about whether it's nature or nurture, but women are programmed to be much more relationship and people orientated than men." "Emotionally, they make plans and have strategies, while men are more impulsive." Dr Holmes also talks about how as children, young girls will often day dream about the life that they'd want to have, down to the details of it such as how many kids, what kind of house, etc. Holmes goes on and adds that "Most men don't really develop that facility until they're much older. They live, psychologically, in the moment, while women think around corners and two steps ahead." which makes them better at cheating on their spouses and keeping it secret.

Men on the other hand have affairs and feel really big about themselves that they want to tell one of their buddies about it. Which is why when questioned about it, they will usually admit and sometimes even be proud of it. Women "collect and select", they are programmed to collect males and stick to the quality male to start a family/relationship with. It's programmed in our minds just like how men are programmed to have intercourse with as much women as they can to spread their genes.

It isn't as surprising that statistics show men 5-10% ahead of women when it comes to cheating, women keep secrets better than men do!

Gay Couple : Cheating Spouse

2010-06-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Reader Email :
-----
Kris,
I have read your site about cheating husbands, and I think I may have
a problem with my own husband. We are in a same sex marriage,
and I think that my husband is secretly straight, or at least is turning
straight again. The other day he and his best friend (a girl) went out
shopping, how stereotypical right? I know. They cam back almost
midnight and I asked him why he was not responding to my text msgs.

He got angry and told me I was too possessive of him, and I did not
own him. I told him we are married and he said : "so what? I was
with M****". I aksed him what he was doing and he said they went
shopping, then went out to see her new apartment.

Normally this would not make me jealous, because he IS afterall gay.
But I've noticed them growing closer and closer together. M****
always looks at him like she wants to rip his shirt off. I've known for
yeaaaars that this ***** has a crush on my husband, but I tolerate
her presence because they've known each other since grade school
and he came out the closet and she stood by him. I think they may
have gone to prom night together.

What do you suggest I do? I've been noticing them more and more
together and suspect my gay husband is no longer gay.

B
-----

B, I do not really know what the difference is when trying to catch a cheating spouse, gay or straight. Our catch a cheating spouse guide should help you no matter if you are gay or straight.

Here's a simple solution (based on the info you gave), why not volunteer to accompany BOTH of them while they go out for shopping trips? If they are that close together, you will eventually want to become her friend anyway.

This is like a straight guy going out with his wife, and a girlfriend of his wife. There's nothing wrong with that and you should never feel like you are the third wheel, since you are his spouse.

If you suspect lying, then I would consider installing a GPS car tracker on a car you own that he uses, so at least you know whether or not they are really going shopping, if for some reason you can't accompany them.

I'm also wondering, have you tried talking to the girl? It seems like you are bitter/don't like her. Why do you call her a b****? There's too many unknowns for me to give anything else other than point you to the cheating spouse guide.

Track Spouse's Internet Browsing History

2010-04-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

This is a free alternative to catching your spouse using keyloggers, this method is not effective against tech savvy spouses who know how to cover their tracks online.

Steps to tracking your spouse's internet browsing history :

Since there are so many browsers, we will only work with the most popular browser, firefox. This can work for either Windows or Macintosh, and can be freely downloaded.

Step 1 : Check Your Browser

Browser history disabled.

Check whether or not your internet browser allows storing browser history. You can do this by pressing CTRL + H on firefox. This is why it is not very effective against tech savvy cheating spouses because anyone can just go into the settings and disable the internet browsing function. An even sneakier way to avoid detection is by just selecting the sites your spouse doesn't want you to see and manually right clicking and deleting them from the history.

A blank screen (shown in the picture) means that your internet browser currently clears the history, or your spouse deleted it. Note: I forgot to add "and urls" in the picture text, it should be "it means your browser does not store pictures or URLS"

Step 2 : Enabling Internet History Logging

To enable history logging, select the "Tools ---> Options ---> Privacy". See the screenshot for more details.

The first blue box is what you want to check, and the bottom second blue box is what you want to uncheck. Doing this will allow you to check your spouse's internet activities. Cheating spouses usually go to facebook, or access their secret email accounts to talk to the people they are cheating with. You might want to watch out for secret facebook pages as well.

Step 3 : Confirm that your browser is logging the sites you visit

The screenshot below is with my firefox browser recording my internet browsing history. I have blacked out my personal email (you can contact me through catch a cheater admin at gmail if you need to).

As a sample, I typed in "random porn site" just to demonstrate that the browser records EVERYTHING. From searches done on google, to the email addresses used by your spouse that you may not know of. You can confirm that your browser is tracking your internet history by pressing CTRL+H again, or looking at the links you've visited. If you've followed the steps properly, all links you've visited will be a different color (like on our site, unvisited links are blue, visited links turn black).

Red boxes are my email, and a random search I did on google

Blue boxes are the settings that you want to have enabled on your own firefox browser to have it record your spouse on the internet. Great alternative to hardware or software keyloggers if you were thinking of getting one.

I'd like to caution you against downloading any of the "free keyloggers" because of the high risk it poses to your computer, and your bank account. Identity and password theft is common amongst people who download malicious software disguised as free keyloggers.

How To Use This To Catch A Cheating Spouse?

1. You can use this trick to know if your husband or wife has any hidden yahoo, gmail, or hotmail email accounts they are keeping from you. If you know your husband or wife's passwords, then it could probably work on their secret hidden email accounts as well.

2. Find sites in your internet browser history that support cheaters, or promotes cheating on your spouse. These sites are REAL, I am not kidding one bit. If you would like to see a site that makes a living off of spouse's cheating on their spouses, manually type "ashleymadison.com" on your browser. It is very disgusting and disturbing that people actually join that site.

3. Find out if your husband or wife is secretly visiting adult video sites. Not that it's wrong for them to be viewing any adult videos, but if they are hiding it from you this may be a problem. Watching adult videos can and does turn into seeking out "live" versions, and in this day and age there are adult cam sites that they can visit.

4. Look for Omegle, Chatroulette, or Stickam type of sites.These aren't necessarily signs of a cheating spouse, but if they are hiding this from you, you should worry. If you don't know why, these typical random anonymous webcam sites (omegle and chatroulette) are often used for cyber sex, while stickam is not really as bad as the former, it also has a lot of cyber sex in the private rooms.
5. Look for facebook profiles that aren't of your spouse. They could be creating alternate profiles that they use on facebook, myspace, or other social sites to find people to cheat with.

What if my spouse has a secret email or facebook account?

If you luck out and catch your spouse's secret email or social networking site, I suggest you NOT confront them about it. Play dumb, act like everything is fine, and you are clueless. This is the perfect time for you to Bait Your Cheating Spouse

See more ways to track a cheating spouse, read our catch a cheating spouse guide linked on the sidebar.

Emotional Affair : Hugging Someone Else

2010-02-16T08:33:00.000-08:00

Reader email :
-----
My husband lets his girl workmate hug him real tight and kiss him on the cheek. He has never told me about it but I found out one time when I had to pick him up after work because his car was at the shop. I confronted him about it and he said that it was nothing and she always hugs and kisses him on the cheek whenever they were about to leave. *He* said that she does it with all her close friends, but I don't believe him because there was more than just him standing with her and he was the only one that got "special treatment". Could this be a sign that he is having sex with this woman and what should I do? I will confront him after I am done thinking this through. Any advice would be appreciated, please.

PS the girl is almost half his age, we are in our late forties.

Gina
-----
Gina, thank you for your email and sorry it took me so long to post. If you haven't noticed any of the signs of a cheating spouse, then it may not be a physical affair yet. Maybe your spouse is having an emotional affair.

I would suggest you talk to him about keeping your boundaries in check and remembering that he is married. It's prefectly reasonable to ask a spouse to maintain a certain "touch barrier" when dealing with the opposite sex.

I would take some time and read our guide on how to catch a cheating spouse, and then try out some of those methods. If you think that he isn't having an affair, physical or emotional, then you should start confronting him about how he interacts with his workmates, if you do think he is having an affair, because you've found evidence to back up some of the common signs of cheating, then I would hold on longer to be able to gather more evidence before starting the confrontation.

I bolded some phrases in your email, and here's what I think about it :

First, you should never let anyone other than your spouse KISS or HUG you; and if someone of the opposite sex DOES kiss or hug you, you should immediately tell your spouse about it, and tell that person to stop doing that. Hiding this from you, by saying "it was nothing she does it to everyone" when you said she didn't do it and only he got the "special treatment" also makes me think something is going on.

I can't be sure if it's a physical or emotional affair because you didn't really give me enough details, but an example of an emotional affair is if you caught your spouse telling someone else "I love you" or responding to someone else with "I love you too". Although kissing is a sign of intimacy, we just don't know how intimate they've already been.

My final thought is that you should keep an eye on him, without letting him know you are mad/angry. Let him think everything is back to normal, while you secretly monitor his actions for any signs of cheating.

Video Surveillance Equipment

2010-02-10T02:21:00.000-08:00

The last post was about different types of Hidden spy cameras, in this post we will look at some examples of other types of surveillance equipment.

This tiny spy cam (click picture for more pics/details) is prolly the best you will get for 60 bucks. It has it all. It's a miniature colored nanny cam WITH a microphone. The details on the site say it works well up to 200 feet, but you won't be needing it to work far beyond 20+ feet, unless you live in a mansion or something. This is great for keeping in flower pots, bookshelves or anywhere small enough that your cheating spouse will not suspect him or her being recorded by your hidden spy cams. This miniature surveillance unit can be powered direct or by battery. It's best to spend a little more buying extra or rechargeable 9 volt batteries instead of opting to use a powersupply so you can really get it in those tiny areas. Almost forgot, choose the battery because this whole unit is wireless, unless you opt to use power supply. Pretty impressive for just 60 bucks. For a size comparison with a dime, click here.

The next Surveillance equipment we'll talk about is the type you usually see on spy films like James Bond or Mission impossible. It's a video spy pen. Sure it sounds silly, but it works, and it's cheap. You can lay it around the computer/desk that your cheating spouse uses, and just check out what's in it after he/she is done. I wouldn't give it to them as a gift though, cause they might lose your spy equipment or drop it.

For 40 bucks, you will get this spy pen(click picture for more details). The video recording on this is surprisingly clear, 640x480 with a 30 frames per second. Can also use it to take pictures. The low memory though (4 gigabytes) makes it not very suitable to leave on overnight. If you want something you can leave on overnight to spy on your cheating husband or wife, the first hidden spy cam would be a much better option.

If you are interested in only knowing what your cheating spouse is doing online (chat/email) then take a look at the keylogger page, if you want to just spy on cellphones, take a look at the cellphone spy page. I will try to post more for each example when I have time, right now work is killing me. Good luck.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Hidden spy cameras to catch cheating spouse

2010-01-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

In the past articles we have discussed about using keyloggers, cellphone spies, and hiring a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating. Now we'll take a look at what hidden spy cameras can do to help us. For a compilation of ways to catch a cheater, click on the catch a cheating spouse guide.

There are different types of hidden spy cameras available. Some record 24/7 into a hard drive, so you don't miss anything. Some only record when it detects movement. Most of these can and should, if you suspect your husband or wife is cheating on you, be installed by yourself. A hidden spy camera is small, and most of them can easily fit unnoticed in your bookshelf, or plants. I believe you've seen some hidden spy camera videos from "nanny cams" in movies where they hide them in stuffed bears.

Before you buy a hidden spy cam, you should make sure you know what you are getting. There are some surveillance camera equipment that can cost upwards of a thousand dollars, which have more features than you would ever need. Some features that are not really necessary in detecting a cheating partner are things like audio recording, night vision, or such things like heat sensors. Way too overkill, we are looking for something that would confirm or deny our beliefs that we have cheating spouses, not be a voyeur and watch the actual physical cheating.

Lets face it, if your wife takes a guy home without your knowledge of it, and she goes into a room with the guy where you have installed a hidden camera and turns off the light, you don't really need any heat sensors or night vision in your camera to tell that they are cheating. So unless you WANT to see your spouse actually CHEATING on you, I'd get the cheapest hidden spy camera available to you at any of your local electronics shop. If you'd rather not be seen buying things like that, look for a cheap one on amazon.

Be sure to read the requirements, you may try to save money by getting the cheapest one, but you may fail to read the requirements. Some people accidentally buy just the lense of the hidden camera, but not the actual camera or database to store the footage. Most digital cameras can be directly wired to a computer hard drive.

Things we should look for in purchasing security camera equipment are just the basics. Small, easily concealable, and preferably(might cost more depending where you are) one with motion detection. You can choose to get audio recorders with your security equipment, but do you really want to know what your spouse and the person he/she is cheating on you with are saying? If you do, then the motion sensor cameras should be what you should aim for as the hard drive your hidden cam will need will be a lot bigger if you want to record both video and audio.

Places to install your hidden spy cameras would be near a couch, any room that has a bed, the kitchen, and possibly the bathrooms. This is why it's important to get the cheapest hidden spy equipment you can get your hands on, because it would be unfortunate to catch them entering the door, but then having only one unit, you will not see what they do when they get passed your one camera.

What we need is proof that your spouse had an affair, if they can lie their way out of vague footage, it's best not to show them or tell them we caught them with someone because you can be sure they will never get caught again. And continue to deny any signs of cheating.

Also, if you don't want to buy your own video cameras to place around your house, most private investigators (in the US) can install their cameras for you. Be sure to compute the rates before deciding which one is better suited for you, because private investigators can be pricey, especially if you are hiring them to do home surveillance AND tail your cheating wife/husband.

On the other hand, if you are on a tight budget, you could also just "bug" your house with some audio surveillance/spy equipment. These are much cheaper, and I'm sure you'll know if your spouse is cheating on you or not by listening to their conversations, or whatever else they may do behind your back. The downside is, unless you know the person's voice your spouse is cheating on you with, you won't get an idea who they are or where they met unless your mate comes clean with you.

For those who can only spare a few bucks, the best option I can recommend is getting a cellphone spy that has GPS tracking.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Cheating spouse on the internet

2009-08-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

Here's an email I received from someone who found this site and thinks she has a cheating husband. Cheating often starts from the interenet, and it is not uncommon that a cheating spouse on the internet is using online chatrooms to meet other people.(And I am terribly sorry for almost a month in delay for replying to this, I have been busy in real life.)

Hello,
My husband clears the history after being on the computer and I confronted him in the past about searching adult porn sites. My question is, would that be considered a form of cheating? I feel as though it is because it is in his heart maybe not outward cheating but his eyes are on other woman. I'm just confused and torn over it.

Any advise would help from you.

Thanks,
A

For men, and even some women, watching porn is just a normal thing and I would not consider it cheating at all, so I don't think you have any problems A. You could even support him and watch it together. Let your spouse tell you his or her fantasies, and then do it with them or at least try and show your spouse you care about it. It's one of the topics that are discussed in marriage counseling. Not only will you prevent a cheating spouse, you will also strengthen your emotional, and sexual bonds together.

Now what I DO consider cheating is when your spouse goes on the internet to find other women/men to talk to behind your back. This online form of cheating is usually done in Yahoo chat rooms/MSN/ or any other chatrooms online, especially ones that allow webcams or "cam2cam". If you find out that your spouse is doing this, then you better be worried and start confronting him/her. A keylogger or spy program would allow you to view/read the chat transcripts of cheating spouses, or just find out if your spouse is indeed cheating on you on the internet. It is much more difficult to find out if they are having an online affair in chatrooms simply because there is no history or log files, or they could easily just delete those logs or are protected by YMessenger/MSN, which is why a keylogger is necessary to catch cheating spouses.

Some husbands/wives who are still young, early to late twenties, are into this thing called "MMORPGs". It stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. There are alot of older men using this platform to find younger women too. An example of an MMORPG would be the popular game by Blizzard called "World of Warcraft", if your husband or wife plays this, you should know what it is. It is like a 3D chatroom where people can play together and meet other people. A few commenters on this blog have also pointed out that their husbands use this game to meet younger girls, and then get their MSN/YM IDs and chat with them there, bringing the relationship outside the game.

Playing games and chatting online with the opposite sex is fine and all, but watch out for any signs of an emotional affair. It is very easy to get emotionally attached to someone when you play games or chat with them for several hours each day, and you don't want an emotional affair to develop any further and have your spouse cheat on you (physically).

Remember A, men just like watching adult videos, it doesn't always mean that they want to cheat. It will make them happy if you show them that you are interested and share their fantasies with them. Restricting him from watching it is what might even make him turn into a cheating husband, since you're taking away a form of entertainment from him.

Good luck, A.

Is your car being tracked by GPS?

2009-07-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

In the previous article, GPS car tracking, I listed all the benefits of having GPS car tracking on your suspected cheating husband or wife's car. This article will teach you how to detect if you are the one being tracked by GPS. This article is especially useful if your cheating spouse is tech savy and may somehow be on to you and your detective work.

Some cheating husbands or cheating wives might actually put a GPS tracking device on your car, cellphone, or bag to know where you are so he or she can freely go with their new partners without being detected. Some cars may already have GPS installed for security reasons, such as car theft, so it will be useful to know how to detect and disable someone from tracking where you are.

How do I detect GPS tracking devices?

Take it to a mechanic for a full inspection. Allow the mechanic to check inside the car also, common places a GPS tracker is hidden at is under the dashboard of the car, somewhere inside the glove compartment, and under the chairs.

Another method, if taking the car to a mechanic is not an option and if you are trying to detect a portable GPS device, is to purchase an RF detector. An RF detector is used to detect the GPS devices when they are transmitting the location to the tracker. So your only problem is that you will have to check/scan for the GPS tracker for long periods of time, sometimes multiple checking is required because it may not be always transmitting. But it's a sure way of detecting a GPS car tracker if your car has one.

There are also ways that involve signal jamming, but we won't get into that as it is illegal, especially if being misused. (Tracking your own car with GPS trackers is perfectly legal.)

Reminder :GPS devices that are LEGALLY placed on your transportation by the government should never be removed. If you are being tracked by the government either through your vehicle or a GPS attached to your body, you should never attempt to remove or jam the signal of that GPS device because it is ILLEGAL.

Catch a Cheating Spouse With GPS Car Tracking

2009-04-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

What is GPS car tracking?

GPS Car tracking is when you attach a GPS device (hidden from plain view) and monitor the car's location via a tracker unit which you hold safe. A GPS (Global Positioning System) car tracker will help you in determining exactly where your spouse, or at least his or her car is at.

Obviously an important tool in determining whether you have infidelity problems in your marriage or relationship. This option is best suited for those who do not have that much cash to spend for hiring private investigators.

A GPS car tracking unit will help you know the truth, if your husband or wife is lying to you. A cheating spouse will most likely take a day off from work, and not tell you, then head off to meet the person they are cheating on you with. This is where a GPS car tracker, or other such GPS devices which you can attach secretly to his or her things (briefcase etc) comes in handy.

And no, you do not need to be technically savy to operate any of the GPS devices to catch you cheating husband or wife. It's a simple process which involves attaching the tiny GPS tracker to their car, or any other place that won't be easily found, and then monitoring it with the GPS device which shows you on a map where the exact location of the tracker is. Most recommendable products come with a handy step by step instruction, and tech support if you do have any problems.

There are various choices for GPS tracking, not just attachments to your car. There are GPS tracking for cell phones too, which costs a monthly subscription (ask about this from your supplies, as prices vary from more or less than $10 a month), and several other types of GPS handheld devices. Cellphone GPS trackers are an alternative, if your spouse does not use a car to get around.

GPS Tracking Units

How would GPS car tracking help me with my cheating spouse?

The most important thing to remember is to avoid infidelity, is you need to know the truth. With some men or women, all it takes is a simple conversation, setting of boundaries, and respecting each others needs or desires. Other people just cannot help it and will lie to you, some studies show that there is an innate need for men and some cannot control their physical urges. GPS car tracking or having cellphone spies will help get you out of the dark, what you do about it when you know he or she is lying to you is all up to you, but of course if you really love your spouse you will do everything you can to save your relationship/marriage. GPS tracking devices for cars will give you undeniable proof that you can use when you confront your spouse.

Confrontation is ALWAYS better than remaining idle and waiting for your cheating spouse to correct themselves, they may even be brainwashed by the other person to leave you. Remaining idle will not do anything good for you, when you decide to confront them you will more than likely end up having better self esteem. There are various articles on this site about dealing with infidelity, and marriage counseling.

Confronting a cheating spouse after you know that he or she has been lying about their whereabouts may just save your relationship/marriage, or give you an advantage in court if you plan on going with this option. I recommend any sort of GPS cartracking/Cellphone spies to help put your mind at rest and finally know the truth about what is really happening when he or she is away from the house.

If you are still unsure if you need or want a GPS Car tracker, check out this list of cheating spouse signs. For those of you who do not want to actively look for evidence against your cheating spouse, I have also written a basic guide on how to hire a private investigator, and how to monitor your computer using a keylogger. Be warned though, a GPS car tracker is loads cheaper (and only you get to know the details of the affair) than hiring a private investigator. See more ways to catch your cheating spouse, follow the link to our guide.Please fully read the guide before asking questions on the comments section. Also read the comments on every post you view, there are loads of helpful tidbits in there posted by other readers.

January 2011 Update : You might be interested in a cheaper alternative than installing a GPS car tracker, it's a GPS cellphone tracker, discussed in the cellphone spy article.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Prevent a cheating spouse, save your marriage.

2009-03-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

Most people often think they know who their spouse is, because of the many years they have been together. Then after a few years of actually being married to them, they notice that their spouse will seem "different" or even the opposite of who they married. People change, and no matter what you think, big events such as getting married will change someone. For men, this can be because they will be "tied down" to you, and just you, for the rest of their life. Some men and women love this and some, after a few years, will eventually feel pressured and this could be one of the reasons for becoming a cheating husband or cheating wife.

To have a successful marriage, it isn't necessary to take pre wedding counseling, but it will greatly insure that you end up with a what you want, a lifetime in a happy marriage. Although there is no guarantee you will end up with a happy marriage, having a pre wedding counseling reduces the chance of you ending up with a man or woman that will cheat on you, and end up leaving you.

Preparation is the key to success in a marriage, the more equipped you are to deal with marriage problems, the less the chance that something will go wrong. Infidelity, adultery, or just plain "falling out of love" can greatly be reduced by spending a few hours taking marriage or couples counseling. A pre-wedding counselling will help reveal if you will end up with the perfect spouse, or it may show you that your wife or husband is not that serious about the marriage, you, and may turn out to be a cheating spouse.

If you seach the net about pre wedding counseling, you will learn that counseling and couples workshops are proven methods in building a lasting happy marriage with your spouse. Relationship workshops will improve the traits that are beneficial to both couples, and reduce the traits that cause problems and lead to divorce.

Some of you may or may not know that you will be getting involved with abusive men, or a women that could cheat on you, and this is just some of the ways marriage/couples counselling can help you. It is better to spend time on this before you begin a marriage, instead of waiting for that time in the future when things go bad and you have to ask yourself that famous questions, "How do I save my marriage?".

If you are already married and did not take any prewedding counciling, the option of taking marriage counciling is still there. If you think you're marriage is deteriorating or is in a rut, this is the perfect time to seek marraige councilling. Although you cannot force your spose to go with you, you can go yourself and learn what it takes to prevent infidelity, or other marriage problems. Going alone, though not as effective, will still lead to a positive change in your relationship

There's no use in forcing your spouse to go seek marriage help, it would less than likely work if you force them to be there because they are not truly interested in changing if you have to force them. If you go yourself, you will learn ways to improve your marriage, such as how to prevent a cheaing spouse, how to spice up your marriage, ways to improve decission making and other useful topics. This is what happens at marriage counseling, and each session covers a different topic that will be focused on helping your marriage. There are also some marriage counseling session which are all about how to deal with a spouse that cheated on you, which is what I would recommend to anyone dealing with infidelity. It is difficult to forgive a cheater, but in time you will eventually learn to forget.

Preventing cheating spouses, divorce, or fixing up a troubled marriage is always better than jumping ship and heading to the divorce option right away. Try your best to save your marriage, your spouse deserves that from you, even though s/he has changed.

Read this for other ways to save your marriage, and the related article on when you should consider getting a divorce.

Is your husband cheating on you with a mutual friend?

2009-03-15T01:42:00.000-07:00

Is your husband's "friend" just that, or are they having an affair?

It is perfectly fine for couples to have mutual friends, and it is very normal that your husband may close friends that are women. Just because he has a lot of close friends that are women doesn't mean you have a cheating husband. However if you suspect your husband is cheating on you with a one of those friends and you have noticed some signs of a cheating husband, then you are right in paying more attention and researching more on cheating spouses. Most of the times you can tell if your spose is cheating, but when your instincts go off, it may mean trouble down the road. Is it wrong to suspect your husband is cheting? Is it wrong to check up on your husband's cell phone? If you are doing it because you want to save your relationship and marriage, there is nothing wrong with that at all, and besides that, marriages or serious relationships should have little to no secrets. Especially when it comes to sensitive matters like what your relationship is with the opposite sex, a wife has every right to know these things, and should worry when a husband tries to keep her in the dark.

Affairs usually start out innocent enough, and it is very common to find affairs that started out as friend. In today's world it is not even uncommon for your spouse to be having an affair with the same sex. We'll talk about some signs you should pay close attention to when trying to find out if your husband's friend is not just a friend. Sometimes when people think they are very good at hiding something, they really aren't, and are quite obvious.

Here are a few signs of a cheating husband
These can apply to both sexes, and also if you suspect your husband is secretly gay.

1. Your husband or wife will prefer him or her over you. This is just too obvious, if your husband or wife would put off your plans in place for his or her plan with this "friend", this is a very obvious sign they are more than friends. Of course there are special occasions, like a business deal that needs to be settled right away, or one of his favorite bands suddenly came to town(and you know it for a fact). If this keeps happening more and more, you need to confront him or her about this and tell them you are not getting enough of his time, or you would like to tag along, especially if time spent is with the opposite sex.

2. Intimate conversations. This is one of the harder signs to catch, when your spouse is actually having intimate conversations with the opposite sex, it is an almost 100% sign that they are NOT just friends. By intimate conversations I mean conversations he would only speak to you about, such as telling you a personal problem, sharing a secret, talking about how stressed or depressed he or she is feeling. Things that would fall into the category of couple talk. These are often observed when you talk to the friend who he or she is having conversations with. They may let it slip out, or they may not even know that they shouldn't talk about it infront of you. Maybe they even know something your husband has never told you. To take a more active approach, try to "bait" them into talking about a subject you know only you and your husband has talked about.

3. Discreet phone conversations. When you walk in a room and your husband is having a phone conversation with this friend, does he move away, put down the phone, or tell the friend they will call them back? If your spouse does this, you have to wonder why. Why would your husband or wife not want you in the same room when talking with their friend? What is it that they are trying to hide? If this happens a lot of times in your relationship, confront your spouse. If it has only started happening, and there's an upcoming important event, such as your birthday, anniversary or anything that would warrant a party, then you may just have stumbled upon a surprise party and you have nothing to worry about.

4. Flirting. Another obvious signs, when your husband or wife flirts, they may not notice it, but it is very obvious to other people that they are more than friends. Do friends flirt with each other? Sometimes, maybe as a joke, but if it is done more often than not, then it is definitely a sure sign they are going past the normal friend boundaries. Examples of flirting are either telling each other inside jokes, being overly touchy with each other, tickling, talking and laughing a lot with each other, especially when they think they are alone, or whispering to each other when they are in a crowd. Flirting is a sign that they have developed into something more than a friendship, and all emotional affairs are where cheating husbands or cheating wives start out.

5. Complementing the friend too much. Do you notice your husband or wife giving out compliments to this one friend, but less to other friends, or even less to you? Another obvious sign to watch out for. When you ask about this, all your spuse does is shrug it off or tell you they don't notice it and you're making up things. There are situations though that this person deserves the complements, but this doesn't always mean your husband should be throwing complements all year round. More than friends, possibly(coupled with other signs, yes), cheating on you, not a very revealing sign but worth it to pay attention to catch a husband before he gets to the cheating part.

6. The famous calling out of a different name in their sleep. There's really nothing more needed to say about this, it's in a spouse's natural instincts to immediately confront after hearing their spouse call out some other person's name. Now if the name calling out happens when both of you are awake, and in the middle of..intimate relationships..you definitely NEED to confront him, because that is as obvious as a sign of a cheating husband can get!

7. You catch your husband or wife having a secret date with this friend. You confront them, and they both are stunned and act like they are hiding something. Of course they will act like that, they're DATING behind your back! At this point, you will need to tell him to stop being friends with this person, or whatever compromise you can think of. If you're a guy, and you catch your wife dating another man, please try to be civil. I know some men cannot control themselves and will immediately resort to violence, but when you do that you risk getting thrown in jail instead of getting back at her by divorcing her, and leaving her sorry that she ever betrayed you by suing her pants off. The feeling you get when you win a divorce case is great, even when you feel down knowing you won and won most of your assets in a divorce just makes it all that better. I still remember the look on my cheating husband's face when I left him after I won, priceless :)

8. Pay attention whenever you confront your husband or wife. When they keep defending or taking the side of the "friend" after you tell them not to see or talk to them anymore, your spouse may be having an emotional affair with them. Close to half of all emotional affairs turn into full time affairs which involve not only emotional intimacy, but also physical intimacy.

9. The "friend" of your wife or husband starts talking about his or her new girl/boyfriend, who remains unnamed. They may talk about the date they have had in a classy place, or the new flowers that were sent to them, or new jewelry, clothes, and maybe even about the wonderful sex they are having together. Watch closely and check your credit card bills, bank account, your spouse's clothes for any crumpled up or balled up receipts.

10. Your husband has become such a "helpful neighbor". He volunteers to help do this and do that, he helps teach her how to use tools, fix her garage, lift heavy equipment, etc. They may all be excuses to hang out with each other. This is not always a sign that they are having sex and your husband is cheating, but it may just mean your husband would want some time to talk or actually hang out. This, like all affairs, can start out innocent at first, but once two people get too close to each other attraction starts to build up. They may find the other helpful, funny, or whatever they find attractive, and they will want more of it. When the emotional affair begins, they will also find that they are getting attracted to each other physically, and will eventually want to have physical relationships. So if you can, whenever your spouse offers to help this "friend", try to accompany them to make sure no boundaries are crossed.

In order for you to have a happy marriage or relationship, you have to have the proper marriage principles. Just by having proper marriage principles, you can avoid or prevent infidelity altogether. The boundaries of your marriage will be kept intact and neither of you will break it, both of you will be satisfied and avoid neglecting each other, you'll end up spending more time together and making more mutual decision on things or activities you do not normally do. The benefits of knowing and abiding by proper marriage principles are just too important to overlook.

It is always better to prevent adultery/infidelity by building a solid foundation in your marriage than dealing with the after effects and coping with your cheating spouse.

Catch cheating husband on valentine's day

2009-02-09T23:45:00.001-08:00

Valentine's day is the time most cheating husbands get caught

According to most Private Investigators, it is the month of valentine's day that they have the most business. They say that catching a cheating husband is easier during valentine's day because most of these cheating husbands, even cheating wives, go out with their other lovers.

A cheating husband is forced to meet up with their mistresses, especially if their mistresses do NOT know that they are married. It is common for cheating husbands to keep their marriage secret, this is why you should keep a very close eye on his ring. If he ever comes home without his ring on his ring finger, you should be worried that something is wrong. They have no reason to remove their wedding rings, so why bother, unless they are trying to start another relationship and want to keep their past in the dark.

If your husband is having a secret affair, (online affair or emotional affair) he is going to have to meet up eventually if things develop. And as stated by the private investigators, Valentine's day is when they make the big money. Why? Because assuming the affair, and your husband's marriage is kept secret from both you and the new person he is involved with, they WILL have to go out on valentine's day because their lovers will obviously want to. Maybe they might want to go out with them too, if they are already in love with each other.

This will cause a lot of things to go wrong for you cheating husband, especially if you and him have plans on that same day. Things you should look out for are credit card bills, his pocket money, his bank account, his clothes, where he is, and if you have read on about ways to catch your cheating husband from this site, now is the perfect time to put your keyloggers, cellphone spies, and GPS trackers to good work. If you've taken the extra step to hire your own private investigator, that is awesome. You will have things covered and all you need to do is wait.

Two things can happen, you will either find your husband cheating on you during valentine's day, or finally be able to lift that weight off your shoulders and be secure in knowing you do not have a cheating husband.

If worse comes to worst, you are armed with all the knowledge you can after researching on how to catch a cheating husband that you will come out of this stronger, and win most of your assets in court. Remember, full custody of children is the best thing you can hope for if you ever want to divorce your cheating husband.

You should probably set something up if you haven't already done so, and ask him to go out on a date with you on Valentine's day. You have the right to be paranoid if he does not want to and says he has to work "overtime".

Remember, if you still haven't checked it out, there are tons of information and links on this website to things that will help you catch a cheating husband, such as those cellphone spy programs that will let you read all his text messages, deleted or not, listen in on all his calls, and keyloggers to help you get your husband's computer password and show you his online conversations and emails.

Good luck, and I wish you a happy valentine's day.

Cellphone spy overview

2009-02-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

Overview of cellphone spy programs

If you've never heard of cellphone spy programs, it is basically software that allows a parent to monitor their kid's cellphone calls or text messages. The same programs are being marketed to husbands and wives to check if their spouse is being unfaithful and they have cheating husbands or wives.. These spy programs can be the answer to your questions, "Do I have a cheating husband?", "Who does he always talk to on his cellphone?", "Is he cheating on me?" etc.

Let's start with the most basic type of program, since there are several brands, we'll just call it "cellphone spy 1". Now Cellphone spy 1's capabilities are limited, and usually cost less than $100. Cellphone spy 1 is the usual software program that allows you to read text messages from your cheating spouse's phone by taking his sim card, and attaching it to the device which will send it to your PC. This will not only let you read text messages in his/her inbox, but also text messages that he/she has already deleted. Yes, you read that right, text messages that they've DELETED already. Since most spouses that cheat delete their messages, this tool will show you EVERYTHING.

"Cellphone spy 2", this is just like the first type of software, but the difference is the cost and functions. It is similar because it will let you read the text messages, but it adds the ability to also listen in on the calls.

"Cellphone spy 3", these things are what you want if you're looking for total control over your cheating husband's cellphone. This software type of spy is usually (depends on the software you pick) undetectable. A cheating spouse , who is smart enough to know about cellphone spies, will NOT use their cellphone for talking with the person they are cheating on you with and when they do talk to this person, it will be in code. They could change the name of the girl to "Jack" or "John" to disguise it from you even if you have a cellphone spy to read his/her text messages.

What cellphone spy 3 does different, or more than the other 2, is that this type of cellphone spy will not only allow you to read text message, listen to voice calls, but also control your cheating spouse's cellphone. You can silently "call" their cellphone using this cellphone spy program, and listen to what is happening around your cheating spouse (as long as the cellphone is with them). If they turn off the cellphone, it will NOT actually be turned off, and you will still be able to listen in on whatever activities might be going on in the immediate area of the cellphone.

You can also get your cheating spouse's message/call archive, turn off his phone, have his phone call a specific number, play a ringtone, etc. You can literally control your cheating spouse's phone directly from you own phone. These types of cellphone spies are usually subscriptions based and cost $100+ PER month. I'd say you never really need all the features that a cell phone spy 3 type offers. It's just too much features. I would get the cheapest cellphone spy (type 1) that can read texts, which in my opinion would be more than suitable in helping you know whether or not your spouse is cheating, or having an emotional affair.

On the other hand, if you're here and want to know how you can STOP your cheating spouse from spying on your cellphone, simply remove the battery from the phone. Just turning it off will not work if you are being spied on with a program such as "Cellphone spy 3". As for the other cellphone spy programs (1 and 2), the cheap ones aren't much of a threat, just keep your cellphone with you all the time and don't let anyone touch it (so they can get the simcard) and they can't spy on you. Unless you fall asleep and they get to tamper with your phone, your private details are safe. Setting a password on your phone will also help prevent people from installing software to monitor your cellphone activities.

Cheating spouses who use different phones or hides cellphones you are unaware existed in the first place are difficult to catch. If you think your cheating husband or wife has a secret cellphone they use to keep things from you, try a different method to catch your cheating spouse. See the link on the sidebar for a guide to catch a cheating spouse.

Please read the comment section below before you ask your own question, the comment section in this post is very very helpful, and someone even posted their own guide below.

UPDATE January 2011
Because of all the comments asking somewhat similar questions, I have made mobile / cell phone spy follow up post with an actual recommendation, not just a guide to help you search for a cellphone spy. I discuss a cellphone spy software that works with most of the popular smartphones (iPhone/blackberry/android/symbian/etc), has SMS, GPS, and call tracking, the ability to look at your spouse's phonebook, all done remotely.

In that article I recommend software that are a combination of cellphone spy 1 and 3. It's like cellphone spy 1 in the fact that it is cheap and allows you to read text messages (remotely) and it's like cellphone spy 3 because it has GPS Tracking, is undetectable and lets you view everything on the phone. I didn't bother looking for cellphone spy software that actually lets you "silent call" the phone to spy on the surrounding area, because I think that is way too overkill and do not intend on recommending something above $100. It's just too much, you don't need that IMO, if you do want one feel free to do your own research and share with us what you are using through the comment section below.

Click here to see the software spy for smartphones

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).

Spying on your cheating husband may get you trouble

2009-02-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

Am I breaking the law when I spy on my cheating husband?

A lot of you who discovered or suspect that you have a cheating husband may end up the one being sued or in trouble for your actions. As I have said before, when trying to catch a cheating spouse, make sure you spend a good amount of time researching the tools necessary and the methods on how to catch your cheating spouse safely. If you are planning to just buy keyloggers, cellphone spies, hidden cameras, or hiring a private investigator without thorough research, you might just be setting yourself up for failure.

Some of the tools you can use to catch your cheating spouse :

1. Keyloggers - simple tools that you attach at the back of your PC, on the keyboard socket to be more specific. For more info on keyloggers, check the links found on this website, or click on this for help on setting up your own keylogger if you already purchased one. Link :How to catch your cheating husband - Keyloggers.

2. Cellphone Spies - One of the best tools in catching a cheating husband, these programs allow you to read text messages that are stored, or even those that were just deleted. The more expensive methods that allow you to spy on a cellphone are those that let you listen in on calls, and turn your husband's cellphone into a "bug" like you see in the movies. By turning it into a "bug" you can call the cellphone of your husband and it will allow you to hear whatever is in the immediate area of the phone. Totally undetectable if you have purchased a good product. For more info on cellphone spies, check the links found on this website.

If you've thought about purchasing, or have purchased any of these already, be warned. These gadgets, if not used properly, may get you sued. Contacting divorce lawyers before actually telling your cheating husband that you know about his affairs is the smartest thing you could do. Especially if you live in the US.

Purchasing these types of gadgets are not illegal at all, but how you use them might cause you trouble in court. In your defense, I know that it takes a lot to go thourgh something like this in a relationship and that your depression, anxiety, anger, or desperation may have caused you to buy these equipments to get the evidence you need to teach your cheating husband a lesson. All these negative feelings you have may have caused you to be ignorant to the laws governing the use of spy gear, surveillance gadgets, and the likes, so please research about that or consult divorce lawyers. In the US, there are laws governing the use of such equipment to intercept or electronically listen in to conversations or activities of individuals without their consent.

Even hiring private investigators may cause you trouble, this is why I highly recommend researching as much details as you can about the private investigator that you will hire. In most states in the US you, your private investigator, or even a friend of yours if you persuaded them to follow your cheating husband, could be held liable. The evidence you find on your husband by your own means should only be for you. An advantage in catching him red handed, because evidence gathered ilegally is useless in a court of law. Remember that when you pick a private investigator to hire, those who use illegal means to aquire evidence can be sued by your cheating husband, and you along with them.

Impersonation
This is another method most victims of cheating do that WILL backfire on you if you get caught. Pretending to be someone else inorder to get information from banks, phone companies, etc will get you in a lot of trouble in court. Your cheating mate could potentially sue you, or win over your case because of illegally aquired evidence.

What can I do legally to catch my cheating husband or wife?

It looks as if the cheaters always have the better of the deal, and it feels like you actually are in a losing battle, but really you don't need anything other than your knowledge of him, and the list found here on signs of a cheating spouse. This isn't enough for some, and I understand the need to validate your suspicions, but be very careful when using cellphone spy programs in catching a cheating spouse.

What can I legally do to monitor my spouse's activity?

1. Attach a GPS tracker on a car that you own. It is not illegal to do this, as long as you own the car.

2. If you own a cellphone and your husband or wife uses it, you can attach GPS tracking to your cellphone. It IS LEGAL to monitor that cellphone if YOU OWN IT.

Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

2009-02-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

Cheating Signs

Since I've been getting emails not only from wives, but also husbands, I've decided to take the time and list not only signs of a cheating husband, but signs of a cheating wife as well.

First of, for those people that have been emailing me about gay marriage and gay relationships, I am sorry but I can see no differences on what signs you need to watch out for, if you have a cheating husband or cheating wife as a gay couple, then look at the appropriate signs listed here for a cheating husband or cheating wife. If you would like to write something that you think will help same sex marriages, feel free to email(catchacheateradmin at gmail) me and I will put it up as a guest post. Be sure to include your contact details (just a first name or pen name) if you would like them to be put up and linked to your website.

If you were looking for ways to catch a cheating spouse, see the how to catch a cheating spouse guide, it's free and updated fairly often. You may also contribute to it by sending us an email.

Please remember to do your own research on state laws regarding cellphone spies, keyloggers, or any other type of monitoring device that you wish to use to catch a cheating partner.

Signs of a cheating spouse

Some of these signs are common for most cheating spouses, but some of these (which I will explain) are only things that expert liars do. Some cheating spouses are so good at lying and manipulating their partners that you actually will end up feeling horrible for even thinking that they are cheating, when in fact they really are but have successfully manipulated you into thinking they aren't, and you're insulting them. Hard to understand? Please take a moment to read on if you're in a position like this while looking for signs of a cheating spouse, I know it is difficult, but you're doing the right thing. Being delusional leads to nowhere.

Please understand I will only "tell it like it is" and give every type of cheating husband or wife sign you should watch out for. I'm not talking about YOUR husband or wife directly, please do not be offended because all of the signs here are from personal experience, books, and other people's experiences. Just because you don't see them it doesn't mean you are safe, it's always best to have a backup plan such as a keylogger, or a cellphone spy, especially if you have kids (I use mine now to monitor my kids).

It's best you try and gather actual proof that they are cheating instead of just saying you read a list of cheating signs and they are doing exactly what you read. It will just end up as a he said she said argument that will lead to a stressful relationship, and possibly a wiser cheater who will know what to avoid next time they cheat on you.

Moving on, these are the cheating signs:

1. You notice the condoms you keep are slowly decreasing even if you do not have intercourse more than a few times a month. An obvious sign you may have a cheating husband.

2. Your wife buys contraceptives, even though you have had a vasectomy or are/will be away from home for a long time. Immediate confrontation should happen, don't wait for the condoms to start disappearing, ask about why is she buying them. This is a sure sign that you have a cheating wife. By confrontation, I don't mean accuse them immediately they are cheating. Simply fish and ask why they need contraceptives for.

3. Your partner is more loving and caring than they usually are. This happens early on, when the affair is only starting out and developing. A cheating husband or wife will do this because of guilt, but you will notice swings in their mood and the overly caring or loving attitude will soon fade once the affair has been going on for longer than expected and it all seems natural to the cheater.

4. Your friends will start talking behind your back. Possibly because of them knowing about it, or hearing rumor about it from other friends. Maybe even seeing your husband or wife flirting with other people. A true friend will tell this to you face to face, and you should not be offended if they ever do, you should calmly ask them why they think so, then start your own detective work. Since you're here, you possibly suspect or have observed signs of cheating."You can't see the forest for the trees"

5. Your spouse, while being overly nice, starts buying you presents or little gifts almost every other day, after work or "overtime". This goes hand in hand with being overly nice, loving, or caring because of the guilt they experience when starting an affair. Showering you with love, attention or material things helps them feel less guilty for lying, deceiving and betraying you, and serve as a distraction and excuse for the missing time they can't explain otherwise.

6. A cheater stops being intimate and does not spend quality time with their partner as their affair goes on. You won't get the usual asking for your opinions, or confiding in you when they have problems. Two things you might get are overly nice attitude, or the exact opposite, cold and distant.

7. Your cheating husband or wife's new routine, mannerisms or behavior towards you or how he or she goes about his day gives you this gut feeling that there is something wrong. When this happens your instincts alert you to possible problems, often you start trying to find something wrong that YOU did. No one knows your partner more than you, so you are right to be suspicious when you get gut feelings like this.

8. Your cheating husband or wife creates new email accounts or starts joining dating websites, chatrooms but does not inform you about them or denies it's theirs if you found out about their secret emails. To find out about this, which would be his or her secret, read my post on how to catch a cheating spouse using keyloggers or cellphone spies.

9. The opposite of being overly nice, your cheating spouse will start to have fights with you, usually on the day they want to meet the person they are cheating on you with. Fighting with you is one reason for them to be able to leave the house without giving you a reason to suspect them of infidelity, and usually this happens because they want to meet up.

10. When your partner leaves the house, he or she smells like whatever soap you use at home, or whatever perfume/cologne they use. When your partner returns, they have no scent, or a different perfume/cologne. Sometimes a cheating spouse may even come home freshly showered.

11. Your cheating husband or wife suddenly brings up the idea of your marriage or serious relationship coming to an end when you fight. Whenever you argue about something so little, it usually becomes a full blown fight and then the topic of splitting up is raised by your partner. They would say such things like "What if I left you?", "If this continues on, I don't think I can take it anymore" or "Do you think we're meant to be together? All we do is fight". Basically all that comes out of your partner is negativity towards your marriage or serious relationship. This usually happens after a lot of time is spent in the affair and the cheating spouse is confident enough that if this marriage or relationship ends, he or she will be safe and have someone after you. A very serious sign, confrontation may be right at this point, depending on your motives.If you think your marriage is at serious risk of ending, seek marriage counseling.

12. A common thing with cheaters is they suddenly want to look better physically. One of the things they do to look more attractive is joining a gym. If you've been together for a long time and never once has the topic of going to a gym, or even taking a simple diet come up, you are right about suspecting something is going on. This is especially true for men who go out alot and work "overtime". Not only is your cheating husband or wife trying to look more attractive, but they also will get a free excuse to leave home. Joining a gym might just be an excuse altogether to leave your house. Good way to know for sure is purchasing a GPS tracker or cellphone spy to ease your worries. Another way is to just offer to go with them, either just for company or joining the same gym.

13. Your spouse may be very tense and have mood swings. A cheating wife or husband may show visible signs of excitement or happiness when about to leave the house, but seems bored and not themselves when at home or spending time with you. On the other hand if the affair has been going on for a long time already, he may try to hide it by faking his feelings when with you to make both of his relationships work, before finally picking one he wants to be in for the rest of his life. The mood swings you see maybe caused by his other relationship. When everything is perfectly normal with your marriage or relationship, then he comes home angry and seemed like he was in a fight (with the other person), he may take it out on you or even blame you for little things and say that is what is causing him to be mad and anxious. Cheating causes anxiety for both parties, especially if he really loves you but can't decide if he wants to be with you and you alone.Recent studies have shown this behavior is more common among cheating housewives than husbands, because a woman will want to pick someone who she can be secure with. "Collect and select". Read more about female affairs.

14. You find out your husband or wife has a new cellphone. You ask them about it but they just either sound like they are lying, or dismisses it like it was nothing important. A cell phone tracker may help you with determining if he is using that phone for cheating. Please do your local state laws research before you use cell phone trackers.

15. After awhile, you've experienced them being overly nice and gift buying, your wife or husband almost never starts a conversation, unless important. You're living in the same house but quality time is out of the question. You wife never cooks you your favorite meal, or your husband never is sweet or takes you out to movies. Your cheating partner is totally inconsiderate to your needs and ignores you or doesn't give you as much attention when you confide in him. You start to think he has fallen out of love with you, or worse, he has fallen in love with someone else.

16. Your partner's other cellphone is not billed in their name. He or she may have a friend's name listed, and tell you that it is a company phone. Luckily that doesn't matter if you have purchased a cellphone spy, you will be able to spy on your husband or spy on your wife's cellphone as long as it has access to an internet connection (which most phones today have).

17. Little things like taste in music gives us hints that we might have a cheating spouse. Someone who listens to classical music suddenly likes to listen to rock and roll, this is a huge change in genre and might make you wonder where or whom she/he learned this from. This is most surprising for wives that are at home most of the time, with no one to influence their taste in music. This is when you should consider installing hidden cameras at home. When your wife or husband spends most of their time at home, nothing will beat a hidden camera at monitoring their activities.

18. For women, when a cheating husband has condoms in his wallet or starts buying condoms but knows that you are on the pill, or godforbid, one of you can not have children, then this is almost a give away that he is cheating.

19. Your husband or wife might be insecure. When a person is insecure, especially true for young women, they are easily persuaded into doing things to gain positive feedback and a sense of "fitting in" or being secure. They may not be having an affair to hurt you or because they are tired of you, they may be having an affair to help themselves feel better because you have been ignoring their emotional needs.

20. A cheater keeps the computer clean, deletes the archives of your internet browser, and changes their password for emails or your computer. May also delete all text messages, calls, etc when he or she never used to do this. They might have another girlfriend or boyfriend that they are trying to keep a secret, spying on them becomes necessary if they do not open up and give you a reason as to why everything is so clean all of a sudden and they are acting different.To check whether or not your spouse is cleaning up, check your browser and look at the internet history files. If they are empty, you know they are hiding something. To prove it, you may need a keylogger, or catch them in the act while they are chatting or emailing their new partners.

21. Sometimes, out of pure guilt, an unfaithful spouse will ask questions like "Have you ever thought of someone other than me as more than a friend?" or "Have you had feelings for someone else since we got together?". Hypothetical questions like these can mean they are having an affair and would like to know how you feel about that, or they are thinking about having an affair. They can also be flirting with other people.

22. Your cheating husband or wife will give their opinions on a friend of yours, sometimes this may even be the friend they are having an affair with, and say NEGATIVE things about this person in an attempt to make you think they are not attracted to them, or even feel disgusted by this type of person. A common thing cheating wives say to their husband's when asked is that they are disgusted by their husband's friend because he is a "pig" or "has no manners". But secretly she could be attracted or maybe even having an affair already with him. For husband's, what they usually say when you ask them is things like "she looks like a slut!", "I think she looks dumb", or "she's too talkative and bitchy". Watch out for little things like these when you fish for answers, they might try to distract you with comments similar to those mentioned above.

23. Cheating spouses become easily annoyed or offended, even if they used to shrug it off or comment back, at little harmless comments you give them. This could be because they are feeling guilty, or mad that you asked them to do something or made them go with you to someplace, unknowingly ruining their plans to meet up behind your back. They could also be going through conflict with their other relationships and are getting very stressed trying to juggle things around.

24. Your cheating husband or wife stops caring about your children, you, and what used to be his or her daily family routine. He or she may stop playing with the kids, asking you for sex, or go out on dates with you. They may even get irritated when your children ask for some time to go out or play with them. There is little to none quality time with you and your kids. This is sometimes the worst sign, especially if it is your kid that notices he/she is different. Most partners don't want to even think about their significant other having an affair, so they become delusional/naive.

25. Your partner, especially if a woman, will suddenly buy new underwear or clothing. Your cheating wife suddenly buys sexy lingerie, when she never used to or has never talked about it with you, she might be having an affair. Especially if you found it by accident and she hasn't even told you about it. For the husband, he may or may not buy new underwear, but he could do other things like suddenly starts shaving, or gets a new haircut. An almost guaranteed sign to catch a cheating housewife is if you catch them packing sexy underwear when they are off to a trip without you, say their parents home or a company outing. They would never need lingerie

26. Locking doors, closing doors, and distancing themselves from you when at home. In long term relationships couples usually do not hide behind doors while shaving, taking a bath or even peeing, but all of a sudden you can't see your wife's or husband's body anymore, in or out of bed. This happens mostly in the bathroom, when they will secretly check if their other lover has left any marks that you might catch. So they distance themself from you by locking doors to check, and if they do spot something out of the ordinary they may suddenly want to go straight to bed. Leaving hickeys on a husband or wife could be a little game your spouse is playing with their new lover, and it could be another way that excites both of them.

27. Your husband or wife stops giving you complements and you feel like you are not attractive anymore. Even when you do try, you usually get nothing. Even the things he or she used to love about you and find attractive are now just being ignored. This may not mean you have a cheating wife or husband, but it is still here in the signs of cheating because it could lead to him flirting with someone else he or she finds attractive. And flirting usually leads to cheating. Even online affairs/emotional affairs lead to real life cheating, sex and everything that goes with a "real" affair.

28. "I love you" becomes routine, no feeling, and s/he doesn't even say it sometimes if you don't say it first. This is the most painful thing to anyone, when your lover stops saying he or she loves you. If there is no more love between the two of you, divorce might happen. Which is why I strongly recommend not to confront a cheating husband or wife before gathering enough evidence for you to win full custody of your children or other assets. The most important is the children, who you would like to raise yourself since I'm sure you wouldn't want them to grow up with a lying, cheating person. When to think about getting a divorce.

29. Doing something nice for your spouse makes him or her emotional, or you notice him or her being depressed or seem like they are thinking of alot of things. Doing nice things for your cheating spouse, be it cooking his favorite meal, or buying her flowers unexpectedly, will make them so full of guilt that it will hurt. Tell them things like "I'm the luckiest person to have found you" will stick in their minds for a long time, and they may even confess and beg for forgiveness if they truly love you.

30. Cheaters will not wear their wedding ring. The things that were usually okay to leave in the car, are now removed whenever he/she has to use it. (kid's toys, child safety seat, rattles, kid's DVDs etc) Maybe even buying a totally new car just for him/her to use is not unheard of. If your spouse looks like they are single when they leaves the car, that's exactly what they look like to other people. Single people, especially if you're a woman, get hit on by the opposite sex. Your spouse looking like they are single is an invitation to other single people.

31. Your husband or wife would rather be among friends and work "overtime" than spend quality time at home with you and the kids. When you ask for a phone number, he gives excuses like "We won't stay there for long" or "Jack got a new place, he doesn't have a phone yet" or when you call his cellphone, it's almost always turned off or he rushes talking to you because he is at "work".

32. You notice your spouse is starting to act like they do not care about the future of your marriage or relationship. They make little to no effort to move forward in your relationship. This is common in new relationships when the other person finds someone else they would like to be with. In marriages, this could possibly mean divorce, especially if it is a new marriage where the husband or wife doesn't seem serious.

33. A cheating wife or husband would rather do something else like read a magazine, book, website than actually be intimate with you in bed or do anything with you other than the necessary things they have to do. Cheating wives also refuse to have sex because she is more interested in her new lover. She may even lie and say she has her period, so it would be wise for you to take note of her period, women that have irregular periods will be harder to track, but you will be able to tell if you know where she keeps her feminine products. A very easy way for you to know if she is lying.

34. This is more of a tip for women. When your cheating husband suddenly WANTS to do the laundry, something is wrong. When was the last time your husband ever wanted to do the laundry? Yes, never. At least for me this was true. This could mean he is trying to hide something, or he wants to make sure there are no lipstick marks or anything you can find on his clothes.

35. Your cheating husband or wife tries to divert your attention to the problems of other people, such as your relatives, neighbors, his or her coworkers, friends, anyone you know, to keep the topic off him or herself to cover up his secret affairs and unanswered questions.

36. Your cheating spouse has some "injuries" on their back, neck, thighs, etc. When you ask what happened, your cheating spouse will be unable to answer, shrug it off, or give some absurd excuse like being caught on wire or something like that. But if you check their clothes, you see nothing that would lead you to believe they got caught on wire or whatever excuse they give you.

37. Like the sudden new taste in music, your cheating spouse might also get new lingo or starts talking in a different manner than he or she used to. Especially if they have been having an affair for quite some time now, mannerisms of couples can't be helped, they rub off on each other.

38. A cheating spouse will be emotionally unavailable to you and when you try to confide in him or her, he or she does not open up like they used to, instead they get defensive and secretive, like they are keeping something from you and want their privacy.

39. When your spouse actually wants to have sex with you, it's usually because they want to try something different. Perhaps a different sexual position you have never tried, or maybe even fantasizing about something you have never done. Sometimes, they may even openly tell you that they want to fantasize about cheating. They tell you it's nothing, just something different, but they would probably be thinking of their other lover and it might excite them that they are telling you directly while having intercourse. It is some type of psychological disorder that make people want to do this.

40. The opposite of not wanting to have sex with you. When a cheating spouse cannot be with their other lover, maybe because the other person has to leave for awhile, they may actually "practice" some of the things they do with you.

41. All of his/her "overtime" does not show up on your spouse's paycheck. Confrontation makes them angry and actually turns the tables and asks you why you keep thinking of cheating, maybe you're the one having an affair. Facts are facts, you don't need any special type of spy software for this. If the paycheck does not reflect the overtime they've spent, there was no overtime or your spouse did it for free. What do you think is the more likely answer?

42. You asked around and found out from his or her office that he took a sick day, more than once, in the past few months. If your spouse doesn't have an answer for this, it's most likely infidelity you have on your hands.

43. Your spouse accidentally says a name while sleeping, and it has happened on several occasions. After confronting them, they tell you that you are crazy or imagining things, then shrug it off.

44. Sometimes relatives or other close friends are the first to notice something is wrong. They might be able to tell before you that you might have a cheating spouse because you are in denial or they notice that your relationship with your husband or wife has changed within the last few months.

45. A cheating spouse, especially those that are having an online or emotional affair, will spend hours on end chatting or emailing on the computer. They will usually say they are working, and close the laptop or computer when you come to see what exactly they are working on.

46. Sneaking out of the house. Usually happens at night when you are a sleep. Installing hidden camers will help pick out these late night meetings, or help assure you that you know what is happening when you are out of the house.This isn't very common, unless you suspect your neighbor as the cheating partner.

47. Your spouse is offended that you check up on them, and asks you why you need to know every single detail about his or her day, even if you used to do this and he or she actually welcomed your concern for how their day went.

48. A cheating husband or wife will usually go out for groceries or shopping and come home hours later than he or she normally would. This becomes easy to track when you are in a long time relationship or marriage because you would know how long the other takes to do things like this, and can easily tell if something is out of the ordinary. If you ask what took him or her so long, they give out the same excuses everytime. Like traffic, or a long line in the mall. Great way to check on this is by monitoring your car's mileage, or use a GPS tracker.

49. You get more "wrong numbers" or people that hang up on you at home than you used to. If you get them more than once a month, and this usually never happens, your spouse may be cheating on you.In 2010 I don't think I've gotten a single wrong number caller.

50. You find sexy lingerie or other intimate objects at home even if you know you did not buy them, and your spouse gives you an unlikely excuse such as "It's a surprise for you" or "I wanted to try something different". If this is seen along with other signs, you may have a cheating spouse that has visitors whenever you are out of the house.

51. Lipstick on clothing, perfume which neither of you own, or after shave on your spouse are some things that you should search for if they let you get close enough to them right when they arrive home.

52. You notice your partner makes significantly less money, or that your spouse doesn't even show you how much money he has in the bank or credit card bills. Usually, for men, they buy their mistresses something everytime they meet up, or pay for hotel rooms or expensive dinners.

53. Your spouse takes vacations or work outings more often. Your wife may say she is visiting her mother, but when you check up, they have no idea where she is.

54. Your wife or husband that is cheating may start eating less at home, or not at all because he/she has been eating out with with the new lover she is having an affair with.

55. A cheating spouse will be less comfy and secretive around you, worried that you might see something out of the ordinary. Will choose to sleep, shower, and do other things you usally do together, alone.

56. Change of tone when speaking on the phone. It may mean your spouse is talking with the person they are cheating with. Stressing a guy name, (for husbands) and a girl name (for wives) to disguise who they are talking to on the other end of the phone is also a common cheating tactic. Cheaters even go so far as to pretend to get mad so that they can "be right there" to fix a problem.

57. Your partner hides or puts their cellphone under their pillow when they go to sleep. Secrecy is always a cause for concern, especially if there is a chance you might be dealing with infidelity / adultery. It's completely obvious to anyone who has been married for some time, because there are no secrets between lovers. There shouldn't be.

58. You might think you heard your cheating spouse having phone sex, but are unsure if it was real, or you are being overly paranoid. This happens all the time when cheating is involved. The cheaters start looking for more thrills and they cheat on you(using the phone) while you are at home, but unaware. They may use their other cellphone to avoid you finding out the number, luckily we have cellphone spies to help us. If they are foolish enough to use the home phone, try a reverse phone lookup to find out where that number is located in.

59. Sleeping patern is different even if he or she wasn't out of town or up all night working at home (where you can see him or her). This could be caused by their living a double life. Having a secret life will cause stress, anxiety and lack of sleep. Your spouse may lash out on you and blame you for not getting enough rest because you keep on "nagging" him or her, when all you want is some quality time.

60. Trust your instincts. If you think your spouse is cheating on you, there is a high chance that they are. The most vital sign that your husband or wife is cheating is you being here. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think he or she was cheating on you.

I hope these signs help you find out if you have a cheating husband or a cheating wife. If you would like to contribute anything, please get my contact details from the contact page. ~~For help on how to catch a cheating spouse, see the sidebar for links to my article with details on how to catch a cheating husband using a keylogger and cellphone spies. (applies to both sexes).~~ I've updated the blog and the sidebar now has links to the cheating spouse guide, a compilation of all the ways you can use to catch them cheating.

Please be reminded that these signs are here to help you in figuring out if you have a cheating spouse, not a guide to confronting a cheating spouse. Before you confront them make sure to have undeniable facts backing you up.

If you're still living in denial, or refuse to accept the fact that you MAY have a cheating husband or a cheating wife, I'd like to leave you with a quote taken from a very reliable source, Oprah.

"In a new study conducted by marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, it's estimated that one in 2.7 men will cheat—and most of their wives will never know about it. "

This quote was taken from an article in Oprah's website "Why Men Cheat", it's a very good read, enjoy and good luck with your relationship.

Husband is cheating but shows no signs

2009-01-24T02:27:00.000-08:00

You can feel he is cheating, but he doesn't show signs of cheating.

Do you have a feeling that your husband is cheating on you? You've read signs of a cheating husband but he shows little to none of them. But you still have a feeling that your husband is cheating on you, read on and hopefully this will help you catch a cheating husband.

Sometimes it is very difficult to tell whether a husband is cheating on you. There are some husbands or boyfriends that are very good liars, they may actually become more loving and caring when they are cheating/having an affair to help cover up the fact they ARE cheating. They make sure you have no doubt on whether or not they are faithful.

Some signs that can help clue you in on whether or not your husband is cheating on you:

1. Suddenly your husband is more loving or caring than he usually is. This happens every time he has to go out, or will tell you that he is going out, and when your husband gets back home. When you ask about the details, you husband is usually always giving you vague details.

2. You catch your husband off guard. You call his workplace to check if he is doing overtime, but he isn't. You call his friend's place to check if they are hanging out, but his friend has no idea where hs is. You try calling his cellphone but it is turned off. Then you tell him about it when he gets home, he makes something up and gets testy about it and ask you if you're trying to call him a cheater. A cheating husband will often try to justify his actions by being defensive or even aggressive when he finds out you're getting to the part where you'll ask him if he is cheating.

3. He actually jokes about cheating. My longtime boyfriend, and now ex husband, used to do this when he was cheating on me. I would ask him where he was going, he would say "I have to go see my hot little mistress now..hahaha just kidding honey, I'm going to hang out with the guys, beers, sports, the usual." I don't know what kind of sick person does this, but it does happen. I think this is a psychological thing that they actually enjoy it more if they lie to your face before they cheat on you. I actually believed him during the early stage, but then it started happening all too often. If it wasn't the "guys" it was work, which always happened after dinner. I caught my husband cheating by using cellphone spy tools. (check around this website for some spy tools) Some cellphone spies will allow you to listen in on calls and read text messages. Check them out, they will be worth your time.

4. The really good liars are the cheating husbands that actually get mad at you and pick fights. They will pick fights right before they leave, so he would have a reason to turn off his cellphone or ignore you and not tell you where he is going. If you husband is picking fights with you when you ask him where he is going, or where he has been, you shoul be suspicious that your husband is hiding something.

If you haven't already done so, check out some of the ways found on this website on how to catch a cheating husband. Cellphone spies are cheap and effective, another substitute for private investigators.

Cheating spouse is having an emotional affair

2009-01-21T02:03:00.000-08:00

Is your spouse having an emotional affair?

What is an emotional affair?

A relationship that usually starts from friendship that develops into something more. When your spouse actually exerts more effort and time into that "friendship" than he does with his normal friends, that is called an emotional affair.

Emotional affairs usually start from friendship, but it isn't unheard of that it starts because one of them initiated it. A cheating spouse could meet someone online, from dating sites that you are unaware of, or more commonly in chat rooms. Their intentions may not be bad or to find someone to cheat on you with, but you have to understand that their relationship may just develop into something more than friendship, especially if they are mutually attracted to each other.

When your husband/wife invests their time outside your relationship and into his new relationship with this other person, they may bond emotionally with each other. They may start keeping secrets from you, your husband or wife may start flirting with them besides confiding intimate details. Or it may be the other way around and the other person may flirt or even seduce your husband or wife. If their friendship begins developing and they both gain stronger emotional bonds with each other, your own relationship with your partner may weaken, you might experience lack of intimacy in your marriage because your spouse is getting their emotional needs fulfilled by someone else.

Some may think emotional affairs are nothing harmful to a relationship, and is not considered cheating, but I tend to disagree. Emotional affairs are like smoking marijuana. Some people argue that it is harmless, but the real harm in smoking weed is it may lead some people into trying out some other types of drugs. It is a gateway drug, just like an emotional affair may lead into something worse, like a husband cheating on you in real life, or your girlfriend developing another relationship behind your back. It is important if you suspect your husband is having an emotional affair that you confront him about it or spy on his computer before you confront him (to make sure you aren't just paranoid), because about half of all emotional affairs turn into real life adultery, cheating, or may even lead to divorce.

Like most people, I find the hardest and most painful part is when you first find out that you are being deceived and betrayed by someone you love and trust. It felt like a whale was dropped on me when I first read one of his conversations with another girl through my keylogger. It caused me lots of pain and anxiety and I could not concentrate on my life, work, or friends. Basically, I holed up in my room crying, and pretended I was fine infront of everyone else. Especially our kids, which was wrong.

An emotional affair does not only happen with your spouse's friends at work, or neighbors, it is also very possible that he has an emotional affair with an online friend (who he may then meet in real life). Be worried if your spouse suddenly stops confiding and getting emotional support from you. Your husband or wife might be having an emotional affair, you should do your best to find out while their relationship isn't strong enough to warrant a meet up in real life.

Once they get bonded and their relationship has developed past the friend level, your significant other is now having an emotional affair. When in an emotional affair, your partner will feel comfortable in sharing his secrets with the other girl, some secrets even you may not know about. Your partner might feel close enough to the other person, and them to your partner, that they both will eventually experience increasing sexual tension, or the desire to take things "serious"; by meeting each other in person.

If you know for a fact that your partner does not openly share their feelings, except to you, and recently they've stopped or you found out they are sharing their feelings, secretly, with someone else, you should be worried. Most cheating spouses don't even know they are cheating because they view emotional affairs as nothing, because there was no physical contact. But most women, myself included, feel differently. It hurts just as much as having cheated on me physically, some cases may hurt more especially if he tells her something he doesn't want to tell me. I'm all for keeping no secrets between couples, and by doing this to me I feel betrayed and deceived.

One of the major factors of a normal friendship developing into an emotional affair is when your husband or boyfriend starts sharing intimate details of his life that goes beyond what he tells anyone else but you.

These are some signs you should look out for if you suspect your husband or wife of having an emotional affair.

Signs of an emotional affair:

Your spouse no longer confides in you. And vice versa, you get no emotional support form your husband. This may mean that you have a cheating spouse.
Your spouse may keep secrets from you and you start noticing they suddenly put down the phone or someone calls and when you answer they hang up.
A common friend (opposite sex usually) seems to know more and understand them better than yourself recently.
Your spouse no longer is interested in being intimate, they stopped being sweet, and feels like a completely different person. The need you once fulfilled is now gone, and you almost feel like you are useless to your spouse.
The amount of time your husband spends with you seems a lot less compared to the time he spends with his friend. Or if your husband didn't tell you about her, he spends most of his time at the office or away from home.
When you are out with your partner, they often flirt with a common friend, or their friend from the office. Sometimes it might not even seem like your spouse notices that they are flirting because they're already so comfortable with the person.
You notice your spouse acting like they used to act when you first started dating, or seems like your spouse is attracted to another person, like a schoolboy/schoolgirl crush. If you are unsure whether your spouse is attracted or not, just watch if your spouse is flirting or is acting all giddy around that person you suspect them to be having an emotional affair with.
Your spouse may ask you or other mutual friends about the girl or guy he is having an emotional affair with, when are they free, what's their schedule like, etc. Or if they are co-workers, he may spend more time with her than anyone else at work.
You discover things about them on your own. They are hiding dates, meet ups, or even work related things. Your partner doesn't want you to know they're working together.
When you ask something about their relationship, your husband/wife (applicable to serious boyfriends/girlfriends as well) gets defensive and may even act insulted. Some really good liars are going to do this, act insulted and turn the tables on you and act like YOU are the one who is having a secret internet affair/etc.
Your partner actually gets jealous when the other person goes on dates, or spends time with other people.
"Oh nothing". When you asked them what they are doing online. Internet affairs are usually the start of emotional affairs because it's just so easy to strike up a conversation with someone online. Once you've gotten used to chatting online with someone, it can become addictive and you will keep looking for that person over and over again.

Some of these are the same as "Signs of a cheating husband", "Signs of a cheating wife", and the long list I have compiled of "60 signs of a cheating spouse", which won't remain 60 forever, as I and readers add more signs to them. Another related reading would be the article linked to the side bar of this blog, "Catch a cheating spouse guide"

Confrontation regarding emotional affairs are always best if done as soon as possible; this is the opposite of what I recommend when it comes to physical affairs. It's easy to prove someone is in an emotional affair, when they both keep talking to each other for several hours a day there's a high chance they are developing one, but it's not so easy to prove someone is in a physical affair because that is usually more secretive and you need solid proof. Bottom line is if you can't prove they are in either a physical or emotional affair, do not confront until you can.

How do you prevent emotional affairs from happening?

Think of how it started first of all. Your spouse may be flirting with other people because they does not get satisfied in bed, or you never are intimate with each other anymore. The best thing you can do about flirting spouses is to confront them right away while it's early on. Don't wait for an affair to happen. Tell your spouse that you don't appreciate it that s/he is flirting with other people, ask them how he would feel if you started flirting with other men/women.

Come to an understanding that you don't want him/her to flirt with other women/men, and ask them what you can do to get rid of the urges. Sometimes it is as easy as that, and your spouse will apologize and tell you they did not know what they were doing was wrong or makes you feel bad. Sometimes it will be more difficult because they will try to reason it out that nothing sexual is happening. Even if nothing sexual is happening, tell your partner that it hurts you to see them, your spouse, flirting with some other person who is not you.

It is up to you as a couple to come to an understanding, if needed you should see a marriage councilor. The point you must get across clearly is that for your relationship to continue to work properly none of this should continue.

To prevent emotional affairs you must always keep no secrets from each other. Your spouse should feel like he can tell you anything, no matter how bad it is. Sometimes emotional affairs begin when your spouse is simply looking for someone to vent out their frustrations on, or they are feeling like no one, including you, is listening to their problems or needs.

Both of you should let each other know what the boundaries are. If you don't want your husband to be touchy with a girl, tell him that. If you don't like him to hang out with a girl when they are alone, tell him. If your wife lets other guys flirt and talk her up, tell her not to allow it to happen. Same goes for you, it should be equal or it won't ever work. When one of you gets fed up, infidelity starts looking more like an escape to something better rather than something that will hurt the person you love. And if you are always getting cheated on and feel miserable, maybe you should consider ending it if you see no chance of him/her ever changing.

Do things as a couple and keep no secrets from each other. That is the best thing you can do to strengthen you relationship and avoid cheating, or emotional/online affairs. If you think your relationship is seriously in danger, consider going to a couples retreat to prevent emotional affairs turning intimate.

Some of the methods here, such as keyloggers, can help you determine if your spouse is having an emotional affair. Especially if it is done through a computer, online. Read up on the way to spy on a cellphone found here in this site for more info.

Click this to see methods on how to catch a cheating spouse. If you would like to learn how to read text messages and track your spouse's cellphone location please read my mobile/cellphone spy article.

If you have had an emotional affair, you're having an emotional affair, or you've dealt with an emotional affair, please feel free to share your story with us. You can rest assured that everything here is anonymous and no one is going to track you. You can share via comments below, the cheating spouse stories page, or joining the surviving infidelity forums.

Good luck and I hope you work everything out before an emotional affair develops.

Catch a Cheating Spouse with Keyloggers

2009-01-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

Catch Your Spouse Cheating Online With Keyloggers

My previous post how to catch a cheating spouse was a basic guide on how to hire a private investigator. This is a more active method, which will involve using keyloggers.

Most of you, myself included, would rather do all the spying and evidence collecting themselves for various reasons. Mine would be that I was a bit ashamed of sharing such private details about my cheating husband, even with a professional private investigator, I would prefer to catch my cheating husband on my own. I would rather gather everything myself and then hire an attorney. This is another method on how to catch a cheating spouse.

In this method we will use keyloggers, and other various programs. This will be a work in progress, so if you have any programs that you would like to share and think it will help out someone that is doubtful of their spouse's loyalty, please contact me at my email (catchacheateradmin @ gmail dot com). If you haven't already read the "How to catch a cheating husband - private investigator" page, I recommend you do, if you don't want to take part on gathering evidence yourself and would prefer a different method to catch your cheating spouse.

Here is one method that I have mentioned in several posts, such as "Signs of a cheating spouse". This method is the one I used first, even before spying on cellphones.

Please read the reminder above (on every page on this site). Before spying on your spouse, research your local state laws regarding the legality of monitoring an individual's conversations. Also read the disclaimers of the websites you buy from.

Tools to help catch a cheating spouse

Keyloggers
First gadget we have to help catch a cheating spouse, which requires absolutely no computer know-how, is a keylogger. For those of you who are as technically illiterate as I am, this is THE perfect tool to help you spy on and catch your spouse cheating on the computer.

Basically it is a small piece of hardware that you attach to your computer, and it records all the keystrokes on its memory. It is undetectable. You just have to make sure that you attach the keylogger when no one is around the house.

The bigger the memory you buy, the more it will store, allowing you to leave it in for weeks on end. This will only work for desktop computers, as you need to attach this to where the keyboard attaches, and then attach the keyboard to your keylogger which will then spy on your cheating spouse's internet activity. You will be able to see not only where they go online, but you will also get your cheating spouse's passwords to all their websites, messengers, (secret) emails, etc. An essential when wanting to catch them in an affair.

Benefit of having this hardware keylogger is that it is undetectable even if you have virus scanners. To find it, your cheating spouse would have to look at the back of the computer, and then check the keyboard socket. Now, when have they, or anyone else in the house, ever done that?

This has worked for me, and even after divorcing my husband, it has proven to be useful in other things such as monitoring my kids' internet activities. They KNOW I know what they are doing, but they don't understand how their technically inept mom does it (cause they are lazy and would never clean their computers, which has the keylogger attached behind :) ). Every week or so, when I come to check on their rooms, I check the keylogger out and see their activities online.

Here is the Hardware Keylogger (USB version, if you don't know what USB means, read on) that I used which has a whopping 1 gigabyte storage, I also got it from the same site I buy books, Amazon, which is a well known site so you're sure that you won't get scammed either. An essential when it comes to gathering evidence while trying to prove or disprove an affair.

This type of keylogger is best used because of it's size and it's stealth. It's an inch and a half long, placed behind your computer AND can store 1 GIGABYTE (this is huge in case you did not know) worth of keystrokes. Which is plenty to get your cheating spouse's password, conversations, and anything else they hide from you. You can read their plans even before they go through with them AND you will have their passwords, that's the best part. Just avoid confronting the other person before sufficient evidence is acquired or you are ready to sue your cheating spouse and divorce them because s/he will most probably tell your spouse about it. But you won't really need to talk to the other person, you'll be able to see all their conversations through the key logs. Without them suspecting anything.

There is also a smaller sized cheaper keylogger, this will work just the same way as the 1 gigabyte one with the only difference being you will need to check up on it everyday or so and clear memory. Downside is you might go over the limit of the keylogger, and miss some of the details your cheating husband or wife is hiding. Anyway, the price goes down whenever the memory size goes down. The available sizes other than the 1 gigabyte one that I would recommend is the ~~4MB one (USB).~~

Update December 2010: They discontinued the 4MB model. Check the other models recommended below, and sift through the related products for smaller versions (cause they're cheaper).

Be sure to pick the right one depending on what computer you have. I researched and it turns out my new PC (which my gamer son built for me) has a USB socket for the keyboard, so I got the 1 gigabyte one for this machine. For older PCs you will need a ps/2 socket. Don't buy the 2 gigabyte one, as that is a bit of an overkill. My ex cheating husband would fill up a 1 gigabyte one in about a week, which was more time than I could wait. I check on the keylogger every week, and 1 gig will definitely be perfect for that. 4MB one is good for a day or two at MAX. Also depends on how often your spouse uses the computer, it's up to you to decide.

Here are some quick links so you don't need to have trouble searching the site:

USB sockets:

1 gig keylogger USB socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

~~4MB keylogger~~ ~~USB Socket~~ discountinued keylogger model.

Older keyboards, PS/2:

2MB keylogger PS/2 socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

1 gig keylogger

Again if you are unsure of what these do, they record EVERY keystroke made on your keyboard, and saves it on it's memory for you to view later on. Every single detail your cheating spouse tries to hide from you will be exposed. This is a sure fire way of catching a cheater, you will have all the evidence you need; this will either help you confirm your beliefs that your spouse is cheating on you, or will help you realize if you are just being paranoid for no reason at all.

In any case, you can also use it later on for other things such as to protect your kids by monitoring their internet activities, leaving someone in charge of your house while the computer is accessible, etc.

Please READ THIS before purchasing any of those keyloggers.

This hardware keylogger is not compatible with laptops. Your only choice for a laptop keylogger is a software based keylogger. Hardware based keyloggers do however work for any type of operating system (Windows, linux, etc), and has no need for software installations; some do have software installations, but it's usually for the device you are going to read the captured logs from.

Do you know what a USB or PS/2 socket is? I did not because as I said I am technically challenged, and had to research for a few hours before I understood. All you actually need to do, without all the computer talk, is turn your computer around and look at what the keyboard plugs into.

If it is round like this, you have a PS/2 socket.

If it is rectangular, you have a USB socket.

Just remember to check which one you need before buying, I don't want you to be wasting your money or spending hours of research. But you probably are not as technically inept as I am. :)

To recap, the benefits of these hardware keyloggers are :

No installation needed for simple keystroke logging. (other than plugging in the back of the computer)
Can be used to find out every and all keystrokes done on the computer.
Can be used to get spouse's secret accounts.
Can be used to get passwords for those accounts.
Can be used to get your spouse's password on protected files or computer accounts.
Basically anything typed, you will see.
The more complex keyloggers allow taking of screenshots and "live viewing" from a remote computer.(see the updated software based keyloggers).
Hardware keyloggers are undetectable unless physically found

This will be updated as much as I can to help you find more ways and gadgets you can use to catch a cheating spouse.

I hope this has helped you, and please feel free to email me if you need additional help. You can contact Kris, Mike or Hana at catchacheateradmin at gmail.

-
Update 2010 : How to catch a cheating spouse using cellphone spies
Added a new article discussing cell phone spies, which is like a combination of GPS and keylogger that works on a cell phone. This article will help you pick a cell phone spy, and described the 3 basic types available to you.

Update January 2011 : Because of all the similar questions regarding cellphone spies and GPS trackers, I have made a follow up post to my guide on how to select a GPS/cellphone spy and actually recommend one product. Click on my mobile phone / Cellphone Spy article for the update.

Update May 2011 : If you are currently looking for a free keylogger, read that post. I discuss why this is NOT the proper place to try and save money. Most so called free keyloggers or cell phone spies are designed to do nothing but spy on YOU, not the phone or computer you intend on monitoring. Don't get suckered into downloading any type of free software unless they are really popular (like mozilla.org's firefox browser, or google chrome).

I wrote that article because it's one of the most common questions I get "where can I download a free keylogger?", and the reply I always give, and will always give, is "I'm sorry I don't want to be responsible for you downloading a virus that steals your personal information". I'm not exaggerating, please read that article about software that claims to be "free".

Update Jun 2011
Added a new software keylogger for macs article. Also contains an alternative software keylogger for windows.

Off topic Update 2011: After 3 years of maintaining this blog and testing products, I can safely say I, and my husband Mike, have become experts at spy tools. My hobby has become my passion, I love helping people with relationship problems because I can relate to them so much. Sorry for going off topic, but if you need someone to listen to or just read about your situation, you can email us or post on the cheat spouse stories page.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the

Cheating stories - cheating husband

2009-01-08T02:56:00.000-08:00

Confession of a cheating husband

This was very unexpected and I did not know how to respond. So its post date is a bit delayed. A cheating husband who actually emailed me.

Very unexpected.

Update 2011: Please use the cheating spouse stories page to share your experience instead of emailing me directly. I will still reply to emails, but it takes a lot longer than if you leave a comment.

from Andrew ***** <*****@yahoo.com>
reply-to *****@yahoo.com
to catchacheateradmin at g mail dotcom
date Thu, Jan 5, 2009 at 9:52 PM
subject My confession
mailed-by yahoo.com
signed-by yahoo.com

I'm a compulsive liar.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too far in to just openly confess to my wife that I have been cheating on her. I'm afraid it is too late to come clean and she will leave me. We don't have kids yet. I still love my wife. We've been married for 3 years. I wasn't always like this. The thought of another woman just drives me crazy now. I don't know when it started, it just is like this right now, and has been for the past year or so. I finally gave in to my urges. My wife is still very attractive, she gets hit on by guys younger than her sometimes. I don't know why I started cheating. I started cheating on her by first joining adult websites and started flirting with other single women, sometimes I pretended to be single, sometimes I openly admitted I was married. I found it more of a turn on when I openly admitted my wife was not home and I have been married for 3 years. The affair has been going on for 2 months, we have had intercourse several times. It's getting worse as the girl I met from *******.com seems to have the same fetish/problem I have, she wants me to take her to our house and have intercourse in our bed. We have only been to motels together.

I am almost certain that my wife knows about this or suspects something is wrong as I have been cold for the past couple of months, I don't know what to do. I tried different things in the bedroom and spending more time with her, but I just don't feel anything for her anymore. I'm ashamed to admit that I even read your signs to find out if your husband is cheating just so I could do the opposite and AVOID her finding out. I just wanted to share this with you even if you classify people like me as "cheating bastards", any advice you can give me I will try to put in action. Found you through the chat cheaters forum and your posts made me feel terribly guilty, as if I wasn't already.

Andrew

It's simple, STOP cheating on your wife, tell her openly if you want to continue with your relationship. If you don't want to continue your relationship, tell her that too. Be civil about it and don't wait for her to catch you cheating.

Cheating husbands, no matter why or how they started cheating, need to tell their wives. Judging from your email, you don't want to continue your relationship with her anymore. Stop wasting her time and tell her that you're cheating on her. At least let her get on with her life and find a relationship that she can be happy in.

I'm not sure if this email is to provoke me or annoy me but I decided to post it anyway. Sorry if you are being sincere but I just hate cheating spouses.

If you love your wife, and you want to stop being a cheat, tell her openly and ask her to forgive you. See a marriage councilor. You may have some sort of fetish that makes you lose control and cheat on your wife.

Because of this, I'm actually going to research on marriage councilors, so whether or not this email was just to annoy me, it also gave me some ideas.

Go tell her everything. Right now. Skip work tomorrow if you have to. Go tell your wife everything right now before she actually starts thinking of ways to catch a cheating spouse. If she loves you, she will always forgive you, although the trust won't come back instantly, it will in time.

I don't consider EVERY husband that cheats a cheating bastard. Some cheating spouses actually want to change, and cheat because of some sort of psychological disorder they have.

Read Cheating Husband - Hope to cope so you know what to expect once you tell your wife that you WERE a cheating husband.

Good luck and TELL YOUR WIFE,
-Kris

How to catch a cheating husband with Private Eyes

2009-01-07T05:13:00.000-08:00

Guide on how to hire a private investigator

You've been married for a fair amount of time, you notice that your spouse is now less involved, more distant, or is starting to keep secrets. You have seen some of the signs of a cheating husband. You're unsure on what to do but you really want to catch your cheating spouse. If you haven't tried keyloggers or spy programs, that is also a viable alternative to hiring a private investigator to do your spying for you. I recommend private eyes as a last resort, unless you are rich, then I recommend them over everything else. Only real downside to P.I's is they cost a LOT of money.

Hiring a private investigator to catch a cheating spouse for you is the right thing to do if you're busy with your own work, or taking care of your kids. You could most certainly do it all by yourself, using keyloggers and spy programs. It all really depends on you, and if you are comfortable with strangers handling such delicate matters. The benefit of hiring yourself a private investigator is you will get as much evidence as possible, video, audio, and anything from your computer(this you can do by yourself using keyloggers).

Don't forget that when you catch a cheating spouse, the topic of divorce comes up more often than not. I don't mean to sound negative but divorce often involves child custody, and division of assets. I'm sure you would not want your children ending up with someone that lied, betrayed, and cheated on their mother or father. Remember this when thinking about hiring a private investigator to catch your cheating husband or wife. If you are content with what your key loggers and spy programs have found and think a private investigator is unnecessary, then you can skip on and read other parts of this site, specifically "how to catch a cheating spouse using keyloggers". If you do however want to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating spouse for you, read on, and I hope I can help you with my advice.

When hiring a private investigator to carch your cheatin spouse, you'll obviously want someone proven. A private investigator with years of experience. You wouldn't want to hire someone that will just get caught and eventually alert your spouse to what is happening (you collecting evidence for divorce, if that is your plan). If until now you do not know if your spouse cheated, a private investigator will be able to confirm that for you, or dismiss the idea of infidelity by confirming every one of your spouse's excuses (working late, going out with friends, joined a gym, etc)

If you have enough evidence to prove in a court of law that you have a cheating spouse, then you would have the upper hand in gaining full custody of the children, your house, your possessions, alimony, etc. The custody over the children alone is enough reason for you to consider having a private investigator cover everything you haven't. Like videos of him from when he leaves the house up until he goes home. A mountain of evidence can be found from those, see an example of a group of private investigators hired to follow a suspected cheating husband. Check out this post and find out what happened to Sharon Bolton, a wife who suspected that her husband was cheating on her. Private investigators tracked down her husband, and found that he was cheating on her with the neighbor. Watch the video of a cheating husband caught found in this website.

How to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating spouse

Finding a private investigator where you live can easily be done by looking them up on the yellow pages or by googling "Private investigator (insert your location here)". Once you have found a website, you should now google "websitename reviews" or something similar for feedback.

You wouldn't want to waste your time and money on a private investigator that has no experience, or worse, has a lot of unresolved cases or complaints from previous employers. You want this whole thing to go smoothly, and you don't want your spouse finding out that they are being tailed.

Let's say I'm from Florida and I have decided that I need a private investigator to catch a cheating husband, I will now google "Private investigator florida".

Google now gives me a list of pages, with the top being most relevant and accurate. In this example, when you google "private investigator florida", the top of the search results page is fali.com

Now that you know there are private investigators at your area, you should now review their site by searching for terms like "fali.com review" or "fali.com cases" "fali.com scam". You want to find as much information on them as possible, good or bad. Here is an example of what I found from searching "fali.com review" :

Web safety ratings

Another thing to help you decide if it is a legit site or not is by getting their whois page. You can do this searching "fali.com whois", which brings us to the domain tools whois page. Click here to see the details.

You will see the contact details, the registrant, the administrative contact, etc. A fake site will have all this hidden, and the date the site was created will most likely be not more than a few months, or weeks even. In this case, fali.com looks as legit as can be, with a beginning date of 1998.

Another way, although not always available for all businesses, is to seach bbb.org. In this example, fali.com, is not registered with bbb.org. Not that big of a deal, since fali.com has been around for more than a decade. No spam/scam sites last more than a few months, so I can be sure that fali.com can be trusted and it is safe to hire a private investigator from them to help me catch my cheating spouse (or soon to be proven cheating spouse).

So once you are done reading their whole site, looking for reviews, checking their reputation, decide now whether or not to go ahead and hire a private investigator. If you have enough spare cash, I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is about to or is thinking about getting a divorce.

You might also find it easier to ask people who have gone through all of this before to help you with details on where/who they hired to catch their cheating spouse. If you don't know anyone who can help you, try the above method in hiring someone to help you gather evidence and catch you cheating spouse.

What you are looking for is someone who is PROFESSIONAL. Not just some guy who bought a video cam and is willing to tail and stalk your spouse. You want a professional licensed private investigator, not a vigilante type person who wants to stalk your cheating spouse for you. This individual should provide you with a guarantee of secrecy, and daily reports of everything that he has found/heard/recorded. You should discuss how far you would like things to go, and you should ultimately have full control on what will happen.

If you yourself have gathered enough evidence, already caught your cheating spouse, and can't find any more evidence/a good private investigator, it would do you good to seek advice from an attorney, or ask them for recommendations on private investigators.

The reason why I recommend you to NOT confront your cheating spouse before you have enough evidence is because you might not even have the chance of gathering evidence once you let your husband or wife know that you know what is going on. Having a good long civilized talk with your cheating spouse might reduce your chances of getting evidence for several reasons. They might deny it all in court, and if you have no evidence, you risk losing custody over the children. They might turn it around, and blame you. Anything can change, so why not get the upper hand? Consider everything you wouldn't normally, cause once a cheating spouse gets caught, they become a different person. If they have a history of being violent, try not to confront them alone. Think of a dog that is cornered, it will do anything to protect itself.

If you have had any experiences with private investigators, please share your experience on the comments form or at the private investigator reviews page

Good luck,
Kris

Update 2010: You might also be interested in my post on how to catch a cheating spouse using keyloggers.

Update 2011: I've added a new mobile phone spy software to the methods we can use to catch a cheating spouse.

Disclaimer :
Please remember that monitoring a cellphone YOU DON'T OWN is illegal. So is attaching a GPS device on a car you don't own. Any kind of monitoring you do should be on a piece of equipment or property that YOU DO OWN. You are responsible for your own actions and the actions of the people you hire (private investigators).