How to catch a cheating husband

Husband is cheating but shows no signs

Do you have a feeling that your husband is cheating on you? You've read signs of a cheating husband but he shows little to none of them. But you still have a feeling that your husband is cheating on you, read on and hopefully this will help you catch a cheating husband.

Sometimes it is very difficult to tell whether a husband is cheating on you. There are some husbands or boyfriends that are very good liars, they may actually become more loving and caring when they are cheating/having an affair to help cover up the fact they ARE cheating. They make sure you have no doubt on whether or not they are faithful.

Some signs that can help clue you in on whether or not your husband is cheating on you:

1. Suddenly your husband is more loving or caring than he usually is. This happens every time he has to go out, or will tell you that he is going out, and when your husband gets back home. When you ask about the details, you husband is usually always giving you vague details.

2. You catch your husband off guard. You call his workplace to check if he is doing overtime, but he isn't. You call his friend's place to check if they are hanging out, but his friend has no idea where hs is. You try calling his cellphone but it is turned off. Then you tell him about it when he gets home, he makes something up and gets testy about it and ask you if you're trying to call him a cheater. A cheating husband will often try to justify his actions by being defensive or even aggressive when he finds out you're getting to the part where you'll ask him if he is cheating.

3. He actually jokes about cheating. My longtime boyfriend, and now ex husband, used to do this when he was cheating on me. I would ask him where he was going, he would say "I have to go see my hot little mistress now..hahaha just kidding honey, I'm going to hang out with the guys, beers, sports, the usual." I don't know what kind of sick person does this, but it does happen. I think this is a psychological thing that they actually enjoy it more if they lie to your face before they cheat on you. I actually believed him during the early stage, but then it started happening all too often. If it wasn't the "guys" it was work, which always happened after dinner. I caught my husband cheating by using cellphone spy tools. (check around this website for some spy tools) Some cellphone spies will allow you to listen in on calls and read text messages. Check them out, they will be worth your time.

4. The really good liars are the cheating husbands that actually get mad at you and pick fights. They will pick fights right before they leave, so he would have a reason to turn off his cellphone or ignore you and not tell you where he is going. If you husband is picking fights with you when you ask him where he is going, or where he has been, you shoul be suspicious that your husband is hiding something.

If you haven't already done so, check out some of the ways found on this website on how to catch a cheating husband. Cellphone spies are cheap and effective, another substitute for private investigators.

Cheating Husband is having an emotional affair

Is your husband having an emotional affair?

What is an emotional affair?

A relationship that usually starts from friendship that develops into something more that your husband actually exerts more effort and time into that "friendship" than he does with his normal friends is called an emotional affair.

Emotional affairs usually start from friendship, but it isn't unheard of that it starts because one of them initiated it. A cheating husband could meet someone online, from dating sites that you are unaware of, or more commonly in chat rooms. His intentions may not be bad or to find someone to cheat on you with, but you have to understand that their relationship may just develop into something more than friendship, especially if they are mutually attracted to each other.

When your husband invests his time outside your relationship and into his new relationship with this other girl, they may bond emotionally with each other. They may start keeping secrets from you, your husband may start flirting with her besides confiding in her. Or it may be the other way around and she may flirt or even seduce your husband. If their friendship begins developing and they both gain stronger emotional bonds with each other, your own relationship with your husband or boyfriend may weaken, you might experience lack of intimacy in your marriage.

Some may think emotional affairs are nothing harmful to a relationship, and is not considered cheating, but I tend to disagree. Emotional affairs are like smoking weed. Some people argue that it is harmless, but the real harm in smoking weed is it may lead some people into trying out some other types of drugs. It is a gateway drug, just like an emotional affair may lead into something worse, like a husband cheating on you in real life. It is important if you suspect your husband is having an emotional affair is you confront him about it or spy on his computer before you confront him, because about half of all emotional affairs turn into real life adultery, cheating, or may even lead to divorce. There are several ways to spy on his cellphone, too (look around this blog to see ways to spy on his cellphone).

Like most people, I find the hardest and most painful part is when you first find out that you are being deceived and betrayed by someone you love and trust. For me it felt like a whale got dropped on me when I first read one of his conversations with another girl through my keylogger. It caused me lots of pain and anxiety and I could not concentrate on my life, work, or friends.

An emotional affair does not only happen with your husband's friends at work, or neighbors, it is also very possible that he has an emotional affair with an online friend (who he may then meet in real life). Be worried if your husband suddenly stops confiding and getting emotional support from you. Your husband might be having an emotional affair, you should do your best to find out while their relationship isn't strong enough to warrant a meet up in real life.

Once they get bonded and their relationship has developed past the friend level, your husband is now having an emotional affair. When in an emotional affair, your husband will feel comfortable in sharing his secrets with the other girl, some secrets even you may not know about. Your husband or bf might feel close enough to the other woman, and her to him, that they both will eventually experience increasing sexual tension.

If you know for a fact that your husband or boyfriend does not openly share his feeling, except to you, and recently he has stopped or you found out he is sharing it with someone else, you should be worried that he is having an emotional affair. Most cheating husbands don't even know they are cheating because they view emotional affairs as nothing, because there was no physical contact. But most women, myself included, feel differently. It hurts just as much as having cheated on me physically, some cases may hurt more especially if he tells her something he doesn't want to tell me. I'm all for keeping no secrets between couples, and by doing this to me I feel betrayed and deceived.

One of the major factors of a normal friendship developing into an emotional affair is when your husband or boyfriend starts sharing intimate details of his life that goes beyond what he tells anyone else but you.

These are some signs you should look out for if you suspect your husband of having an emotional affair.

Signs of an emotional affair:

• Your husband no longer confides in you. And vice versa, you get no emotional support form your husband. This may mean that you have a cheating husband.
  
• He may keep secrets from you and you start noticing he suddenly puts down the phone or someone calls and when you answer it hangs up.
• A common friend (girl usually) seems to know more and understand him better than yourself.
• Your husband no longer is interested in being intimate, he stopped being sweet, and feels like a completely different person.
• The amount of time your husband spends with you seems a lot less compared to the time he spends with his friend. Or if your husband didn't tell you about her, he spends most of his time at the office or away from home.
• When you are out with him, he often flirts with a common friend, or his friend from the office. Sometimes it might not even seem like your husband notices that he is flirting because he is so comfortable with the person.
• You notice your husband or boyfriend acting like he used to act when you first started dating, he seems like he is attracted to her. If you are unsure whether he is attracted or not, just watch if your husband is flirting.
• He may ask you or other mutual friends about the girl he is having an emotional affair with, when is she free, what's her schedule like, etc. Or if they are co-workers, he may spend more time with her than anyone else.
• You discover things about them on your own. He is hiding dates, meet ups, or even work related things. Your husband doesn't want you to know they're working together.
• When you ask something about their relationship, your husband or boyfriend gets defensive and may even act insulted.
  
• Your husband actually gets jealous when the other girl goes on dates, or spends time with other guys.

Some of these are the same as "Signs of a cheating husband"

How do you prevent emotional affairs from happening?

Think of how it started first of all. Your husband may be flirting with other women because he does not get satisfied in bed, or you never are intimate with each other anymore. The best thing you can do about flirting husbands is to confront them right away while it's early on. Don't wait for an affair to happen. Tell your husband that you don't appreciate it that he is flirting with other women, ask him how he would feel if you started flirting with other men.

Confrontation is always best if done as soon as possible. Come to an understanding that you don't want him to flirt with other women, and ask him what you can do to get rid of the urges. Sometimes it is as easy as that, and your husband will apologize and tell you they did not know what they were doing was wrong or makes you feel bad. Sometimes it will be more difficult because they will try to reason it out that nothing sexual is happening. Even if nothing sexual is happening, tell him it hurts you to see him, you husband, flirting with some girl.

It is up to you as a couple to come to an understanding, if needed you should see a marriage councilor. The point you must get across clearly is that for your relationship to continue to work properly none of this should continue.

To prevent emotional affairs you must always keep no secrets from each other. Your husband should feel like he can tell you anything, no matter how bad it is. Sometimes emotional affairs begin when your husband is simply looking for someone to vent out his frustrations on, or he is feeling like no one, including you, is listening to him.

Both of you should let each other know what the boundaries are. If you don't want him to be touchy with a girl, tell him that. If you don't like him to hang out with a girl when they are alone, tell him. Same goes for you, it should be equal or it won't ever work. When one of you gets fed up, infidelity starts looking more like an escape to something better rather than something that will hurt the person you love.

Do things as a couple and keep no secrets from each other. That is the best thing you can do to strengthen you relationship and avoid cheating, or emotional/online affairs.


Some of the methods here, such as keyloggers, can help you determine if your husband is having an emotional affair. Especially if it is done through a computer, online. Read up on the way to spy on a cellphone found here in this site for more info.

Click this to see methods on how to catch a cheating husband.

Good luck and I hope you work everything out before an emotional affair develops.

How to catch a cheating husband part 2

Catch a cheating husband - Keyloggers / spy tools

My previous post on how to catch a cheating husband was a basic guide on how to hire a private investigator. This is a more active method, which will involve using keyloggers.

Most of you, myself included, would rather do all the spying and evidence collecting themselves for various reasons. Mine would be that I was a bit ashamed of sharing such private details about my cheating husband, even with a professional private investigator, I would prefer to catch my cheating husband on my own. I would rather gather everything myself and then hire an attorney. This is another method on how to catch a cheating husband.

In this method we will use keyloggers, and other various programs. This will be a work in progress, so if you have any programs that you would like to share and think it will help out someone that is currently doubtful of their husband's loyalty, please contact me at my email (catchacheateradmin @ gmail dot com). If you haven't already read the "How to catch a cheating husband - private investigator" page, I recommend you do, if you don't want to take part on gathering evidence yourself and would prefer a different method to catch your cheating husband.

Here is one method that I have mentioned in several posts, such as "Signs of a cheating husband" this is the one I used first, even before spying on cellphones. I like this method because it is easy, no software or installations are needed. etc.


Tools to help catch a cheating husband

Keyloggers
First gadget we have to help catch a cheating husband, which requires absolutely no computer know-how, is a keylogger. For those of you who are as technically illiterate as I am, this is THE perfect tool to help you spy on and catch a cheating husband.

Basically it is a small piece of hardware that you attach to your computer, and it records all the keystrokes on its memory. It is undetectable. You just have to make sure that you attach the keylogger when no one is around the house.

The bigger the memory you buy, the more it will store, allowing you to leave it in for weeks on end. This will only work for desktop computers, as you need to attach this to where the keyboard attaches, and then attach the keyboard to your keylogger which will then spy on your cheating husband's internet activity. You will be able to see not only where he goes, but you will also get your cheating husband's passwords to all his websites, messengers, (secret) emails, etc. An essential when wanting to catch a cheating husband.

This is what you want if your husband you currently suspect is cheating and using your home computer.

Benefit of having this hardware keylogger is that it is undetectable even if you have virus scanners. To find it, your cheating husband would have to look at the back of the computer, and then check the keyboard socket. Now, when has he, or anyone else in the house, ever done that?

This has worked for me, and even after divorcing my husband, it has proven to be useful in other things such as monitoring my kids' internet activities. They KNOW I know what they are doing, but they don't understand how their technically inept mom does it (cause they are lazy and would never clean their computers, which has the keylogger attached behind :) ). Every week or so, when I come to check on their rooms, I check the keylogger out and see their activities online.

Here is the Hardware Keylogger (USB version, if you don't know what USB means, read on) that I used which has a whopping 1 gigabyte storage, I also got it from the same site I buy books, Amazon, which is a well known site so you're sure that you won't get scammed either. An essential when it comes to gathering evidence while trying to catch a cheating husband online.

This type of keylogger is best used when trying to catch a cheating husband because of it's size and it's stealth. It's an inch and a half long, placed behind your computer AND can store 1 GIGABYTE (this is huge in case you did not know) worth of keystrokes. Which is plenty to get your cheating husband's password, conversations, and anything else he hides from you. You can read your cheating husband's plans even before he goes through with them AND you will have his passwords, that's the best part. Just avoid confronting the other girl before sufficient evidence is acquired or you are ready to sue your cheating husband because she will most probably tell your husband about it. You won't need to talk to her, you'll be able to see all their conversations through keylogger. Without them suspecting anything. A valuable tool in teaching your cheating husband a lesson he will never forget.

There is also a smaller sized cheaper keylogger, this will work just the same way as the 1 gigabyte one with the only difference being you will need to check up on it everyday or so and clear memory. Downside is you might go over the limit of the keylogger, and miss some of the details your cheating husband is hiding. Anyway, the price goes down whenever the memory size goes down. The available sizes other than the 1 gigabyte one that I would recommend is the 4MB one (USB).

Be sure to pick the right one depending on what computer you have. I researched and it turns out my new PC (which my gamer son built for me) has a USB socket for the keyboard, so I got the 1 gigabyte one for this machine. For older PCs you will need a ps/2 socket. Don't buy the 2 gigabyte one, as that is a bit of an overkill. My ex cheating husband would fill up a 1 gigabyte one in about a week, which was more time than I could wait. I check on the keylogger every week, and 1 gig will definitely be perfect for that. 4MB one is good for a day or two at MAX. Also depends on how often your cheating husban uses the computer, it's up to you to decide.

Here are some quick links so you don't need to have trouble searching the site:

USB sockets:

1 gig keylogger USB socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

4MB keylogger USB Socket

Older keyboards, PS/2:

2MB keylogger PS/2 socket - Click here to view image of how it should look like.

1 gig keylogger

Again if you are unsure of what these do, they record EVERY keystroke made on your keyboard, and saves it on it's memory for you to view later on. Every single detail your cheating husband tries to hide from you will be exposed. This is a sure fire way of catching a cheating husband. Anything your cheating husband tries to keep secret from you on that computer will fail. You will have all the evidence you need. This will either help you confirm your beliefs that your husband is cheating on you, or will help you realize if you are just being paranoid for no reason at all. In any case, you can also use it later on for other things such as to protect your kids by monitoring their internet activities, leaving someone in charge of your house while the computer is accessible, etc.

Please READ THIS before purchasing any of those keyloggers.

This hardware keylogger is not compatible with laptops. Your only choice for a laptop keylogger is software. These do however work for any type of operating system (Windows, linux, etc), and has no need for software installations.

Do you know what a USB or PS/2 socket is? I did not because as I said I am technically challenged, and had to research for a few hours before I understood. All you actually need to do, without all the computer talk, is turn your computer around and look at what the keyboard plugs into.

If it is round like this, you have a PS/2 socket.



If it is rectangular, you have a USB socket.



All that fancy names and computer talk like ps/2 socket or USB aside, all you really have to do is turn your computer around and look for either a circle or a square socket. Just remember to check which one you need before buying, I don't want you to be wasting your money or spending hours of research. But you probably are not as technically inept as I am. :)

To recap, the benefits of this keylogger are :
No installation needed. (other than plugging in the back of the computer)
Can be used to find out every and all keystrokes done on the computer.
Can be used to get husband's secret accounts that you don't know about.
Can be used to get passwords for those accounts.
Can be used to get your husband's password on protected files or computer accounts.
Basically anything typed, you will see.

This will be updated as much as I can to help you find more ways and gadgets you can use to catch a cheating husband.

I hope this has helped you, and please feel free to email me if you need any help.
This will be updated every time I find more ways on how to catch a cheating husband.

Update : How to catch a cheating husband using cellphone spies

Cheating stories - cheating husband

Confession of a cheating husband

This was very unexpected and I did not know how to respond. So its post date is a bit delayed. A cheating husband who actually emailed me.

Very unexpected.

from Andrew ***** <*****@yahoo.com>
reply-to *****@yahoo.com
to catchacheateradmin at g mail dotcom
date Thu, Jan 5, 2009 at 9:52 PM
subject My confession
mailed-by yahoo.com
signed-by yahoo.com

I'm a compulsive liar.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too far in to just openly confess to my wife that I have been cheating on her. I'm afraid it is too late to come clean and she will leave me. We don't have kids yet. I still love my wife. We've been married for 3 years. I wasn't always like this. The thought of another woman just drives me crazy now. I don't know when it started, it just is like this right now, and has been for the past year or so. I finally gave in to my urges. My wife is still very attractive, she gets hit on by guys younger than her sometimes. I don't know why. I started cheating on her by first joining adult websites and started flirting with other single women, sometimes I pretended to be single, sometimes I openly admitted I was married. I found it more of a turn on when I openly admitted my wife was not home and I have been married for 3 years. The affair has been going on for 2 months, we have had intercourse several times. It's getting worse as the girl I met the girl from *******.com seems to have the same fetish/problem I have, she wants me to take her to our house and have intercourse in our bed. We have only been to motels together.

I am almost certain that my wife knows about this or suspects something is wrong as I have been cold for the past couple of months, I don't know what to do. I tried different things in the bedroom and spending more time with her, but I just don't feel anything for her anymore. I'm ashamed to admit that I even read your signs to find out if your husband is cheating just so I could do the opposite and AVOID her finding out. I just wanted to share this with you even if you classify people like me as "cheating bastards", any advice you can give me I will try to put in action. Found you through the chat cheaters forum and your posts made me feel terribly guilty, as if I wasn't already.

Andrew

It's simple, STOP cheating on your wife, tell her openly if you want to continue with your relationship. If you don't want to continue your relationship, tell her that too. Be civil about it and don't wait for her to catch you cheating.

Cheating husbands, no matter why or how they started cheating, need to tell their wives. Judging from your email, you don't want to continue your relationship with her anymore. Stop wasting her time and tell her that you're cheating on her. At least let her get on with her life and find a relationship that she can be happy in.

I'm not sure if this email is to provoke me or annoy me but I decided to post it anyway. Sorry if you are being sincere but I just hate cheating husbands.

If you love your wife, and you want to stop being a cheating husband, tell her openly and ask her to forgive you. See a marriage councilor. You may have some sort of fetish that makes you lose control and cheat on your wife.

Because of this, I'm actually going to research on marriage councilors, so whether or not this email was just to annoy me, it also gave me some ideas.

Go tell her everything. Right now. Skip work tomorrow if you have to. Go tell your wife everything right now before she actually starts thinking of ways to catch a cheating husband. If she loves you, she will always forgive you.

I don't consider EVERY husband that cheats a cheating bastard. Some cheating husbands actually want to change, and cheat because of some sort of psychological disorder they have.

Read Cheating Husband - Hope to cope so you know what to expect once you tell your wife that you WERE a cheating husband.

Good luck and TELL YOUR WIFE,
-Kris

How to catch a cheating husband part 1

Guide on how to hire a private investigator

You've been married for a fair amount of time, you notice that your husband is now less involved, more distant, is starting to keep secrets. You have seen some of the signs of a cheating husband. You're unsure on what to do but you really want to catch your cheating husband. If you haven't tried keyloggers or spy programs, that is also a viable alternative to hiring a private investigator to do your spying for you.

Hiring a private investigator to catch a cheating husband for you is the right thing to do if you're busy with your own work, or taking care of your kids. You could most certainly do it all by yourself, using keyloggers and spy programs. It all really depends on you, and if you are comfortable with strangers handling such delicate matters. The benefit of hiring yourself a private investigator is you will get as much evidence as possible, video, audio, and anything from your computer(this you can do by yourself using keyloggers). Don't forget that when you catch a cheating husband, the topic of divorce comes up more often than not. I don't mean to sound negative but.. divorce often involves child custody, and division of assets. I'm sure you would not want your children ending up with someone that lied, betrayed, and cheated on you. Remember this when thinking about hiring a private investigator to catch your cheating husband. If you are content with what your key loggers and spy programs have found and think a private investigator is unnecessary, then you can skip on and read other parts of this site, specifically "how to catch a cheating husband using keyloggers". If you do however want to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating husband for you, read on, and I hope I can help you with my advice.

When hiring a private investigator to carch your cheatin husband, you'll obviously want someone proven. A private investigator with years of experience. You wouldn't want to hire someone that will just get caught and eventually alert your husband to what is happening (you collecting evidence for divorce, if that is your plan). If until now you do not know if your husband cheated, a private investigator will be able to confirm that for you, or dismiss the idea of infidelity by confirming every one of your husband's excuses (working late, going out with friends, joined a gym, etc)

If you have enough evidence to prove in a court of law that you have a cheating husband, then you would have the upper hand in gaining full custody of the children, your house, your possessions, alimony, etc. The custody over the children alone is enough reason for you to consider having a private investigator cover everything you haven't. Like videos of him from when he leaves the house up until he goes home. A mountain of evidence can be found from those, see an example of a group of private investigators hired to follow a suspected cheating husband. Check out this post and find out what happened to Sharon Bolton, a wife who suspected that her husband was cheating on her. Private investigators tracked down her husband, and found that he was cheating on her with the neighbor. Watch the video of a cheating husband caught found in this website.


How to hire a private investigator to catch your cheating husband

Finding a private investigator where you live can easily be done by looking them up on the yellow pages or by googling "Private investigator (insert your location here)". Once you have found a website, you should now google "websitename reviews" or something similar for feedback.

You wouldn't want to waste your time and money on a private investigator that has no experience, or worse, has a lot of unresolved cases or complaints from previous employers. You want this whole thing to go smoothly, and you don't want your husband finding out that he is being tailed.

Let's say I'm from Florida and I have decided that I need a private investigator to catch a cheating husband, I will now google "Private investigator florida".

Google now gives me a list of pages, with the top being most relevant and accurate. In this example, when you google "private investigator florida", the top of the search results page is fali.com

Now that you know there are private investigators at your area, you should now review their site by searching for terms like "fali.com review" or "fali.com cases" "fali.com scam". You want to find as much information on them as possible, good or bad. Here is an example of what I found from searching "fali.com review" :

Web safety ratings

Another thing to help you decide if it is a legit site or not is by getting their whois page. You can do this searching "fali.com whois", which brings us to the domain tools whois page. Click here to see the details.

You will see the contact details, the registrant, the administrative contact, etc. A fake site will have all this hidden, and the date the site was created will most likely be not more than a few months, or weeks even. In this case, fali.com looks as legit as can be, with a beginning date of 1998.

Another way, although not always available for all businesses, is to seach bbb.org. In this example, fali.com, is not registered with bbb.org. Not that big of a deal, since fali.com has been around for more than a decade. No spam/scam sites last more than a few months, so I can be sure that fali.com can be trusted and it is safe to hire a private investigator from them to help me catch my cheating husband (or soon to be proven cheating husband).

So once you are done reading their whole site, looking for reviews, checking their reputation, decide now whether or not to go ahead and hire a private investigator. If you have enough spare cash, I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is about to or is thinking about getting a divorce.

You might also find it easier to ask people who have gone through all of this before to help you with details on where/who they hired to catch their cheating husband. If you don't know anyone who can help you, try the above method in hiring someone to help you gather evidence and catch you cheating husband.

What you are looking for is someone who is PROFESSIONAL. Not just some guy who bought a video cam and is willing to tail and stalk your cheating husband. You want a professional licensed private investigator, not a vigilante type person who wants to stalk your cheating husband for you. This individual should provide you with a guarantee of secrecy, and daily reports of everything that he has found/heard/recorded. You should discuss how far you would like things to go, and you should ultimately have full control on what will happen.

If you yourself have gathered enough evidence, already caught your cheating husband, and can't find any more evidence/a good private investigator, it would do you good to seek advice from an attorney, or ask them for recommendations on private investigators.

The reason why I recommend you to NOT confront your cheating husband before you have enough evidence is because you might not even have the chance of gathering evidence once you let your cheating husband know that you know what is going on. Having a good long civilized talk with your cheating husband might reduce your chances of getting evidence for several reasons. He might deny it all in court, and if you have no evidence, you risk losing custody over the children. He might turn it around, and blame you. Anything can change, so why not get the upper hand? Consider everything you wouldn't normally, cause once a cheating husband gets caught, he becomes a different person. If he has a history of being violent, try not to confront him alone. Think of a dog that is cornered, he will do anything to protect himself.

Good luck,
Kris

Update: You might also be interested in my post on how to catch a cheating husband using keyloggers.

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Cheating Husband - How to cope

How do I deal with infidelity.

You recently found out or have doubts that your husband cheated or is cheating on you. You feel like a piano was dropped on your head the moment you realize your marriage or relationship is about to end or that you are being deceived. You try to convince yourself that this isn't happening, that you're being paranoid, "he would never do this to me," I must be imagining things, etc. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. If you are unsure whether or not you have a cheating husband, please read signs of a cheating husband first.

Infidelity is never easy to deal with, this will take a long time for you to recover from, and this will be a long but fruitful journey to self improvement. You WILL come out a better person, I speak from experience, and you WILL find someone ten times better than your previous cheating husband (if you ever do decide that he is not worth forgiving and sharing your life with). You'll respect yourself more, gain more confidence, and get back your dignity.

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife." -Ann Landers

Everytime you think of your cheating husband having an affair, and lying to you, it makes you sick and angry. But you still love him. You want him to change, you forgive him and hope to save the relationship. If you truly believe that your cheating husband can change, then that is great, I will share everything I know on how to deal with infidelity, how to forgive your unfaithful husband, and attempt to successfully save your relationship. If however you are sure you want to end the relationship, read "what to do when my husband cheats on me" page found in this website.

If you're only trying to save your relationship for the kids' sake, this will be more difficult for you, but you WILL gradually heal and come out a better person. Here is some information on how to cope with a cheating husband:


Let it all out and accept it
Even if you're the type of person who does not want to cry, you should. Crying is healthy, and will help ease your pain and anxiety. You can do this alone, or infront of your cheating husband when you confront him about his secret affair. It would depend on what decision you have arrived at, do you want to end the relationship or do you want to save the relationship. I wouldn't cry infront of my husband if I planned to divorce him, this would give him reason to believe he still has a hold on me and would try to manipulate the situation to favor him. You may think your husband is not capable of manipulating your emotions to get what he wants, you may think that is too much for him and he would never prey on your emotions. But you also thought he would never ever cheat on you, but your husband cheated. I chose to leave my cheating husband, I knew he could never change. It's different for everyone, but this is how it worked out for me and my ex cheating husband.

Your husband may have been lying and cheating on you with several other women for longer than you thought, that is why I suggest to read signs of a cheating husband, and how to catch a cheating husband, so you can gather enough evidence before you take any legal action, if you choose to do so. I know this is hard to read, especially for those that want to save the relationship, but I am just being real and stating the facts.

With that aside, if you do choose to save your relationship, then open up and share every single thing that has been plaguing you. Every tiny detail. Tell him, don't ask, that you're both going to skip work the next day so you can talk it out. Cheating husbands will usually agree if they want to work things out, and they usually won't if they plan on ending the relationship. Ask your husband why he cheated on you, what does he want to happen from this point on, what did you ever do to cause him to cheat and does he still love you. Tell him how he made you feel, and what YOU want to happen from this point on. Come to an understanding on how you will proceed with your relationship, and try stick to it. Agree that no secrets should ever be kept between you two. It's going to take a lot of time, but getting it all out is the first step in healing and gaining back your self esteem. Eventually you will forgive your husband for cheating on you.

Confide in your family and friends
It's always a good to have someone you trust share their thoughts and advice. Even just being with them and venting out your problems will help alot. Don't keep secrets, tell them your husband cheated. Having someone that will listen to your infidelity problem, comfort you, make you feel safe, this is what you need. Go watch a movie with friends, doesn't have to be a sad movie, a comedy or any other movie you want will do, as long as you are with friends or family. Have fun, laugh and smile. You don't need to throw away your life just because your husband cheated on you. He's not worth it, go and enjoy yourself. If you decided to leave your husband, then it will be good to go out on dates. Find someone that deserves you. The sooner that happens, the faster you'll forget about your ex cheating husband.

Be honest with your children
If you have kids be sure not to lie. Tell them the truth, just don't blame their father. If you have to split up, tell them. Don't blame the your cheating husband, that will just cause more problems. Openly tell them that their father has to move on with his own life, but they will still see him in the future. Don't promise them anything unrealistic, just be honest, your kids can help you feel better and support you more than anyone else. This happened to me, when my own father cheated on my mother. My mother wasn't honest though, even if I was old enough to know what was happening. She lived in denial, and included us. It worked for my younger sister, but not with me. I had to pretend I had no father because she didn't even give me a valid reason. All I remember is "He's gone now". I wish she was open with it, I would have been there to talk to her.

Baby steps, take it a day at a time
When you've decided to work on your relationship, don't rush it. Time will ease you back to where you left off. Also, it would be wise to ask your husband to go to a doctor to have him tested for any STDs he may have caught from having cheated on you. Again, don't resort to blaming him, even the skank who he cheated on you with. This is a waste of your breath. Not worth your time. Won't accomplish anything. Will remind you of things that has passed. Tell your husband this if he has the nerve to blame you. This will be the hardest part, slowly building your relationship back. Hopefully this time it will be stronger, and your husband would have learned his lesson and never cheat on you again.

Think of yourself, and your kids
If you decide to leave your husband, after you have enough proof that he has cheated on you, make sure you have it all planned out. Some questions to help you on planning are :

Where will you live?
Will you have enough money to support yourself and your kids?
Will you be able to put them through school?
Will all of you have the necessities in order to live comfortable?
Do you have any family or friends that can stay with your kids while you're at work?

Be sure to answer these important questions first before doing anything drastic.

Stay healthy
Do not let this ruin your life completely. Maintain a proper daily routine. Eat proper healthy meals, exercise regularly, get enough sleep and remember to have fun with your family and friends. Exercise is a natural way to relieve stress and anxiety, it won't just keep you looking good. If you leave your husband, staying healthy also involves dating. Making some new friends is easy now with the internet, you don't have to physically meet someone or anything. Just make new friends, chat online, have fun, flirt, anything you can do to help destress you, do it! Just stay away from vices such as drugs, and alcohol. Those will just make your life worse, and your children unhappy.


If you have been through all of this and would like to share your experiences or cheating stories, you can email catchacheateradmin@gmail dot com. You may also post anonymously, see my contact page for more info.

I hope this has helped you in dealing with a husband that cheated and gave you new insight on how to deal with infidelity.

You might also want to read my article on emotional affairs

Related articles on other sites worth reading, all of which are about mending relationships and discusses them more in depth.

Getting back with an ex
Can i save my marriage
How to get your ex back